what percentage of Americans swing?

slyc_willie said:

Next: let's discuss the potential ramifications of the consequences of vampire bats growing to human size, gaining human-level intelligence, and obtaining a fondness for Cheez Whizz . . . .

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You would defile the holy Cheez Whizz sacrament by feeding it to vamps? Sacre bleu!

Well, if it makes them swing, okay then...

CyranoJ said:

Don't underestimate the squirrels. Squirrels give fewer fucks than the honey badger and make up for viciousness what they lack in size. Squirrels will fuck you up. (With apologies for linking to the Daily Fail.)

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I live beside a BB field and there is a large Oak tree that attracts squirrels all year.
One day I saw a Hawk had a squirrel up against the tree and the squirrel was bearing it's 'fang' and pawing at the hawk. The hawk didn't know what to do, since he had missed on his stoop. The hawk flew off and the squirrel made it up the tree.

As for big bats!

Hypoxia said:

Squirrels are nasty little tree rats. Oh, look how cute! They're playing! No, actually those are competing females trying to run the bitch off. It's a fucking war out there. Hmmm, I wonder what percentage of squirrels swing?

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Speaking of small critters trying to run other small critters off, watch a group of hummingbirds at a feeder. There's often one male who tries to chase off other males, it's kind of funny and kind of sad and kind of human.

49greg said:

Speaking of small critters trying to run other small critters off, watch a group of hummingbirds at a feeder. There's often one male who tries to chase off other males, it's kind of funny and kind of sad and kind of human.

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Or humans are kind of bird-brained. But do hummingbirds swing?

I remember a long-ago elementary school field trip to a wildlife preserve in the Santa Ana Mountains south of Los Angeles. Trabuco Canyon, maybe? A big cool shaded viewing station overlooked scads of hanging feeders where zillions of hummingbirds swarmed and drank. I don't remember birds fighting, just teachers trying to keep kids from getting close enough to be splattered with birdshit.

But back to swinging. (And forget the polar bears.) I vaguely recall a sardonic little tale here where the cuckolded hubby told the homicide cops that he and his hot wife had an unspoken agreement to swing. That's why, after she cheated with guys, he screwed their wives. His hot wife was a bit surprised -- what agreement? Why, the unspoken one. (The manipulated murder is irrelevant to my point here.) That nice spin makes me wonder how many in USA conflate swinging with just fucking around. Hey swinger, does your mate know about that? And if they do, do they know about ALL of it? Is your swinging well-balanced? Does your relationship have rules about that?

Squirrels and hummingbirds are much simpler but not as entertaining.

Come to think of it, I have known, second hand, a swinging couple. My wife reminded me of it last night when we were talking about them. They were friends of my wife where she used to live, before I met her. Seems the wife was telling my wife (again before we met) that they had in the past done some swinging. It had been the husband who "convinced" the wife to start. But very quickly it was the wife that wanted to continue, while hubby was getting cold feet, and after seven or eight times he wanted them to quit.

She quit with him, for a time. But then started going out to the swing parties without him, and without his knowledge, for some time.

I wonder how often that is the case, hubby drags wife along, then hubby sees how much she enjoys it and can't handle it, quits and she goes behind his back (or with his knowledge) to continue.

49greg said:

I wonder how often that is the case, hubby drags wife along, then hubby sees how much she enjoys it and can't handle it, quits and she goes behind his back (or with his knowledge) to continue.

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That's the "be careful what you wish for" syndrome. He 'decides' they should have an open marriage, then finds that she gets lots more than he does. Pity.

I'm always a little suspect about research results like this - who knows if it's true? You can ask someone something but it doesn't mean you'll get a trueful response.

As one good comedian said a recent report stated that people were likely to do X, Y and Z.

Afterwards they were asked if they lied and 76% of the recipients said yes!

Being British and raised there until my move to America and from my very English friends I find it incomprehensible to think of the British as being that randy. There's still a lot of old fashioned, stiff-upper lip nonsense, sexual hang-ups and general shame about sex.

I've found my American friends to be far more relaxed and laid back about sex - but none as much as my Eastern European friends - Polish, Hungarian, Lithuanian, Ukrainian friends. Perhaps there is a reason for that - or I just know some very enlightened young ladies and gentlemen.

In my experience I have found women to be very sexually adventurous or not at all. The unadventurous women are very boring in all aspects of their lives and are generally doormats to abusive (mostly men who hold the purse strings and generally control their partners, not usually physically abusive) or unattentative partners.

The adventurous ladies tend to find men too immature and prefer a more sensitive guy or an older gentleman - both of whom share a few traits in common, being open minded, not bragging to other men and also being more generally sensitive to a woman.

I must admit it took me a while to meet my partner and when I did I found him to be a very sensitive, caring and above all kinky soul.

Perhaps the truest thing I ever learned: "It's the quiet ones you've got to watch out for." Very true in my husbands case. Shy, but not rude, just reserved, but boy he's so imaginative, open, attentive and fun. The things he's taught me about like and people, mostly through observation.

Black_and_White_Writer said:

I'm always a little suspect about research results like this - who knows if it's true? You can ask someone something but it doesn't mean you'll get a trueful response.

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Bingo.

Bramblethorn said:

All comments with a big "in my experience" disclaimer:



Excellent decision.



There are some complexities here.

Both "swinger" and "polyamorous" can be used for consensual non-monogamy. The two words don't have identical meanings but there's a lot of grey area that can be covered by either. "Polyamorous" tends to be associated with younger folk and more left-wing politics.

So I think some of that observation you mention comes down to "non-white/non-conservative people do this stuff too, but they're less likely to call it swinging".

There may also be issues of selection/non-response biases. Non-white people may be more cautious about discussing their sexuality (not without reason). And depending on how a researcher collects their data, they may not be surveying a representative sample in the first place (e.g. if a white person in a predominantly-white area surveys local swinger groups, you can expect those groups will be predominantly white). This sort of research is HARD.



I have no idea what the percentages are, but I've been with my partner for almost 20 years and we've had a non-monogamous agreement for almost all of that time. Ours was the "extended relationships with a small number of other people" variety rather than "go to parties and play with strangers"; we both dated the same woman for about 5 years, and I've been involved with my sweetie for something like 13 years now, although long distance and other factors make that a very slow-moving relationship.



Pretty much by definition, therapists get a non-representative slice of human experience, geared towards dysfunction. People don't go to see a shrink when they're happy and healthy, and I suspect a lot of non-monogamous folk (certainly me) are wary about mentioning non-monogamy unless it's involved with the issues they need to deal with.

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I take your point. Therapists told me the same...WE ONLY SEE THE NUTS. That said, I saw more pussy in my office than I ever saw in a whore house, and few of my patients were there for marital issues. Of course, I was cute back then, and women came on to me a lot. In my private life I found most women would fuck me if I asked for sex. Most of the women I met online put out. If theyre horny they'll put out.

Many years ago I usta sleep with a prostitute occasionally...I mean spend the night. And what she told me was surprising. Sex with her customers didn't last long enough to be fun, and she needed sleep-overs to float her boat.