mnbreastluver
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Instead of “no pun intended”, people should say it was “punintentional”
Puns
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done_got_old
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I used to be a shoe salesman, till they gave me the boot.
mnbreastluver
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What did the sock puppet say to the other sock?
Looks like you could use another hand.
Looks like you could use another hand.
done_got_old
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I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
mnbreastluver
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I would like to make a joke about sodium, but Na
done_got_old
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Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? Because it's two tired.
done_got_old
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What did the painter say to the wall? "One more crack and I'll plaster you!"
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Mystery Man
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When I get naked in the bathroom the shower gets turned on.
done_got_old
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I couldn't work out how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
mnbreastluver
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“I spent a summer working on a rabbit farm. It was a hare raising experience.
done_got_old
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What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
done_got_old
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The coffee tasted like mud because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.
OldUncleJack
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I had a newspaper shop once...it blew away
OldUncleJack
Hers
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Then I started an origami supplies business..but it folded...
mnbreastluver
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If bees are actually aware that by stinging you they’ll die, that makes them Kamikazbees.
done_got_old
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Did you hear about the crime that happened in a parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
mnbreastluver
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If you don’t watch the news, you are uninformed but if you watch the news you are misinformed.
done_got_old
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mnbreastluver
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If a car company issues a recall on spoilers, is that considered a spoiler alert
done_got_old
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What is the difference between a well dressed man and a dog? The man wears a suit, the dog just pants.
done_got_old
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When you speak two languages but start losing vocabulary in both of them are you byelingual?
mnbreastluver
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There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
done_got_old
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Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram
done_got_old
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Stealing someone's coffee is called 'mugging'.
