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...but it's swift and efficient. A bit like "Last Exit to Brooklyn" on a post card.
Wow. I'll take that any day.
i was a little worried when you started off with soulless, clinical vignette but then vindicated with the final comparison.Way to go - someone knows who I'm talking about.
I never understood why Eve put up with his shit when she was clearly smarter than he was
You could use a good editor.
For enjoymnet I white water canoe, fish, camp, garden, make love, and shoot pool in the bar leagues. See my e books at xxxxxxxx.com and all ebook disributors
primary principal goal
You could use a good editor.
After every story I write, I run it through find and replace for too many "ands" and "thats,""justs" and "onlys", then I look for "nearly" and "almost." Last I look for "suddenly" Then I try to go back and try to read my story as if I had never seen it. Have I made it easy or difficult to read? If I have made it difficult, have I done so on purpose? Do my sentences flow or stumble?
reducing "his most masterful of thrusts" to "his most masterful thrusts" doesn't disturb the original style or voice of writing. It just reduces the bloat.