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Christmas songs?

blozo

blozo

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Joined
Apr 29, 2018
Posts
186
I'm a terrible poet. I tried to write an erotic version of Holly Jolly Christmas, but all I could come up with was:

Hoes, hoes, with camel toes, out where we can see
One of them waits for you, do her once for me!

I'm sure most of you can do better. Maybe even some other songs?
 
I’d like to give the world a hug and tell it jokes and stuff,
And pull its slacks down to its knees and chase it through the rough,
And tie it up with straps and bonds and check its slacks for change,
And leave it out at Moosegrin Hall with our cousin who is deranged.

OK, not entirely Christmasy, but neither was the soft drink’s original and that didn’t stop them.
 
Lacey things, the wife is missing.
Didn't ask, for her permission
I'm wearing her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose.
Walking 'round in women's underwear.

In the store, there's a teddy.
With little straps, like spagHetti.
It holds me so tight,
Like handcuffs at night.
Walking 'round in women's underwear

In the office there's a guy named Melvin.
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He'll say "Are you ready?"
I'll say, "Woah man! Lets wait until the wife is out of town."

Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress, like Madonna.
Put on some eye shade, and join the parade.
Walking 'round in women's underwear.

Lacey things, missing.
Didn't ask, permission.
Wearing her clothes, silk pantyhose.
Walking 'round in women's underwear.
Walking 'round in women's underwear.
Walking 'round in women's underwear......
 
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Cum he told me
Drink rum rum rum rum
Inhibitions run wild you see
Drink rum rum rum rum
My finest toys I bring
Drink rum rum rum rum
You'll lay before the King
Drink rum rum rum rum
Rum rum rum rum
Rum rum rum rum
Then you'll suck on him
Drink rum rum rum rum
And you'll cum
Big fat cock has he
Drink rum rum rum rum
I am so horny too
Drink rum rum rum rum
I have an anal plug to bring
Drink rum rum rum rum
That's fit to stuff our King
Drink rum rum rum rum
Rum rum rum rum
Rum rum rum rum
Shall I play with you
Drink rum rum rum
I'll smack your bum
The King nodded
Drink rum rum rum rum
The Hitachi vibe kept time
Drink rum rum rum rum
I played with my clit for him
Drink rum rum um
I played with my tits for him
Drink rum rum rum rum
Rum rum rum rum
Rum rum rum rum
Then he fucked with me
Drink rum rum rum rum
And made me cum!
 
I came upon the midnight clear
That glorious sound so bold
From orgasms engulfing my girth
To touch my eyes flecked with gold
Peace on the earth, good spurts for men
Yes, even for those who swing
The world in solemn stillness lay
After their orgasms zing

Still through the rumpled bed sheets they cum
With pleasurable arms unfurled
And still their throbbing cocks do note
O'er all the horny world
Hard cocks covered with bulging veins
Don't bend when encircled with a ring
And ever o'er its urethral sounds
The beautiful penis's spring

Yet in the throes of sin and wife
Those cocks have suffered long
Beneath the condom's strain have rolled
For far oh far too long
And man, in bed with man, hears all
The pleasures which they bring
O bring the noise, ye man with wife
And hear the orgasm sing!

O ye, beneath his gushing load
Whose boobs are bending low
Who claw along the lilting way
With pleasurable moans so low
Look now! for glad and golden hours
Come swiftly during that fling
O rest on top of that now soaked bed
And hear box springs sing

For lo! the days are hastening on
And climaxes never grow old
My pink vibe with its rabbit's ears
Against my clit I shall hold
When ejaculation takes over all the earth
My first my last my everything
And the whole world shall get it on
Because it is their thing
 
I'll have a blue balls Christmas without you
I'll be so blue just thinking about you
Cock head of red as I dream of turning you over my knee
Wont be the same dear, if you're not here with me

And when those blue balls they start falling
That's when those blue memories start calling
I'll be so hard all night, with my pre-cum of white
And I'll have a blue, blue blue balls Christmas

I'll be so hard all night, with my pre-cum of white
And I'll have a blue, blue blue balls Christmas
 
Let there be sex on earth
And let it begin with me.
Let there be sex on earth
The sex that was meant to be.
With lust in our favor
Lovers all are we.
Let me cum with my lover
In perfect harmony.

Let sex begin with me
Let this be the moment now.
With every load I take
Let this be my slutty vow.
To take each moment
And live each moment
With lust eternally.
Let there be sex on earth,
And let it begin with me.

Let there be sex on earth
And let it begin with me.
Let there be sex on earth
The sex that was meant to be.
With lust in our favor
Lovers all are we.
Let me cum with my lover
In perfect harmony.

Let sex begin with me
Let this be the moment now.
With every load I take
Let this be my slutty vow.
To take each moment
And live each moment
In lust eternally.
Let there be sex on earth
And let it begin with me.
 
Every body pauses and stares at me
These two nipples are hard as you can see
Yes my boobs have been set free!
And my one wish on Christmas Eve is as plain as it can be!

All I want for Christmas
Is to be beneath,
Is to be beneath
Your cock with no sheath!

Gee, if I could only
Be right beneath,
Then I could fuck you
"Merry Christmas."
It seems so long since I could stay,
Hop in bed and fire that missile!
Gosh oh gee, how happy I'd be,
If you'd plow my fissle
Ohhh, ohhh, ohhh, ohhhhhhh!

All I want for Christmas
Is to be beneath,
Is to be beneath
Your cock with no sheath!
 
Said the night wind to the llittle pussy,
Do you see what I see?
Way up in the sky, little pussy,
Do you see what I see?
A cock a cock, stiffening in the night
With pre-cum, such a yummy sight,
With pre-cum, such a yummy sight.

Said the pussy to the nice big hard cock,
Do you hear what I hear?
Ringing through the sky, nice hard cock,
Do you hear what I hear?
A moan, a moan high above the trees
With pussy juice as wet as the seas.
With pussy juice as wet as the seas.

Said the pussy to the mighty cock,
Do you know what I know?
In your bed so warm, mighty cock,
Do you know what I know?
My tits, my tits shiver in the cold
Let us clamp them silver and gold,
Let us clamp them with silver and gold.

Said the cock to the pussies everywhere,
Listen to what I say!
Ask for sex, people, everywhere,
Listen to what I say!
The two, the two fucking in the night
They will cum with all of their might
They will cum with all of their might
 
I want to give a blow job for Christmas
Only a tasty blow job will do
I don't want silly teasing or any sex type toy
I want a hard male member to play with and enjoy

I want to give a blow job for Christmas
I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won't have to use a dirty chimney flue
Just bring him through the front door
That's the easy thing to do

I can see me now on Christmas morning
Sucking him down to his balls
Oh what joy, what surprise
When I open up my eyes
To see a hard guy standing there

I want to give a blow job for Christmas
Only a tasty blow will do
I've got the inclination
For some mighty fine fellation
And I'm sure that straining cock will like me, too

Some say his tongue would eat me up, but then
I'd give him yt another blow job again
There's lots of room for him in our two-car garage
I'd suck him there and wash him there and give him his massage.
 
Have yourself a horny little Christmas,
Let your pussy be tight
From now on,
Our orgasms will be out of sight
Have yourself a horny little Christmas,
Make the Yule-tide gay, :D
From now on,
Our troubles will be miles away.

Here we are as in bolder days,
Having sex on the floor.
Sexy friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.

Through the years we all will be together
If the Fates allow
Having orgies, oh wow!
And have yourself a horny little Christmas now.
 
But none of you cowards will fuck with other religions. I will

Jingle Bells, mortar shells, ISIIS up your ass, take your fuggin Ramadan and stick it up there too.
 
Good King Whatshisname munched out
on the cock of Steven,
when the guys lay round about,
deep and hard and not quite even.
Brightly shown the pre-cum that night,
though the whips were cruel,
when a horny man came in sight,
wearing a butt plug with jewel.

Hither, you and stand by me.
For your balls are swelling
yonder dude, who is he?
Why is he so compelling?
Sire, he has a hard on hence,
underneath his jeans,
right against man fur so dense
his cock does crave the Queens.

Bring me flesh, and bring me wine.
Bring me pine logs hither.
Thou and I will see him dine
when we bear the tether.
Cock and balls, forth they went,
forth they went together
through the exotic wild lament
and it's all for the better.

Sire, the night is darker now,
and the jizz spews stronger.
Pounds my heart, I know not how.
I can go no longer.
Please remove this cruel cock cage,
Yank it off me boldly:
Thou shalt find my dick's stiff rage
pump with blood less coldly.

In his master's bed he falls,
where the sheet lay dented.
Heat was in his cock and balls
making him act demented.
Therefore, gay men, be sure,
wealth or rank possessing,
and even those who might be poor
can indulge in cross dressing.
 
Last edited:
Dawn is slowly breaking
Our friends have all gone home
You and I are shaking
And I'm just about to cum

There's a dildo by the tree
Lace stockings on the wall
Knowing your cock's inside me
Is the greatest feeling of all

The fire is slowly fading
Chill is in the air
And I can feel your hands
Grabbing at my hair

Through the window I can see
A young man so tall
Knowing we are being watched
And knowing he sees it all

Just before I go to sleep
I hear him moan
He's cumming hard
And taking a picture with his phone

And this makes me cum again
My clit is swollen and yet so small
Oh how I love fucking when
I know I am arousing
All the other men
And a nice hard cum for all
 
Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire
Jack's cock stuck between his toes
Scheming voyeurs with their eyes all a-glow
And rednecks trading wives like Eskimos
 
O horny night
The stars are brightly shining
People are fucking all over this earth
Long lay the world in sin and lust reclining
Till it appeared and the soul felt it's worth

The thrill of hope, the horny world rejoices
The hard cock rises to a new and glorious morn
Fall on your knees

O hear the moaning voices
O night drink wine
O night when we watched porn
O night, drink wine
O night, O night drink wine

O Holy Night
The stars are brightly shining
People are fucking all over this earth
Long lay the world in sin and lust reclining
Till he appeared and the soul felt it's worth

The thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices
For yonder brinks a new and glorious morn
Fall on your knees

O hear the moaning voices
O night drink wine
O night when we watched porn
O night drink wine
O night, O night drink wine
 
These are great! You've been standing beneath some serious mistletoe.
 
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