The beauty of submissive men

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That should do it for me for today. Thank you all to those that answered my questions.
 
I am really enjoying this thread. I have also learned a few things about myself. It turns out I might be a submissive man, or at least I am mildly submissive. I cannot imagine giving up complete control the way a truly submissive man might, but to have the woman be the leader and/or aggressor in my sex life, to have her deciding when/where/how, to have her expect/demand pampering or pleasure? These ideas have really opened my perceptions of myself.

My favorite part of sex, besides the closeness and intimacy with someone I love, is not my orgasm or pleasure. It's making her cum, watching her face scrunch up as she screams into a pillow or yells "Oh Shit" uncontrollably.

So much of the Femdom you see online resembles abuse and/or humiliation. You can see that in the male Dom female sub stuff as well but there is a large portion of the online M/f interaction that is all about lovingly taking care of your f sub. It is the side of it I relate to. The side of Femdom I see in this thread is the adoration of the sub. This is one of the few times I have seen it expressed anywhere. I really like it so Thank You ladies for giving me a glimpse into your feelings about it.

I WANT to be dominant.It's a reoccurring fantasy for me to be all alpha in the bedroom and dominate a woman sexually, but I just don't seem to be able to pull that off, even with a willing wife who I am pretty sure would like me to dominate her a bit. About the most dominant thing I end up doing sexually is making her cum earlier than she wants to. I can't help it, I get greedy to see THAT look on her face.
 
Why does this have to be zero sum?

Both archetypes are important to me. I actually DO get off on some of the porny and problematic interactions with some people.

AND I actually do relational erotic BDSM with other people. I can be nurturing as fuck. But I will NOT have that demanded of me as part of being "correct" by anybody.

I'm sick of being told what I should and should not like. Dominant woman thing, I guess.

I will say that the "no REAL woman could possibly get off on treating men like this" that I've seen a lot of is VERY heterocentric. Women who do not relate to men heterosexually can certainly objectify them, exert sadistic power over them, and derive pleasure from it, and if that is consensually arranged, then what the hell is the problem?

Eroticism is a lot of things. Romance and orgasm is just one facet. You don't even have to have appropriate orientations or attractions that "fit" traditionally to have it.

So I'll take a pass on being saved from femdom porn, as much as I've taken a pass on having to conform to its dumbest standards.

And if I want to look at men being hot submissive and sexy, I look at gay smut. I never relate to the female presence at all in these things, whether it's conventionally hot or not when I'm in androphile mode on state. I want to be the consumer and consume him, not find an avatar that looks like me.

This is interesting, I think.
I have been annoyed by the "any true/real dom would..." attitude that seems to crop up, where ... would usually be about holding hands or spending copious amounts of time or nurturing people to mental health or whatever.
I thought of the bolded part as more of that, but I can see how it also has a lot to do with what roles are generally acceptable for women.

Gay smut is often the only kind I can stand.
 
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Had this on my amazon cart for a while.

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But I CANNOT find a keyholder on fetlife or anywhere else who is in my area.
 
A few years ago, Ferns (The Domme Chronicles) created a video celebrating the beauty of submissive men. It seems apropos for this thread.

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I also enjoy reading Fern's writing. Much of what she has to say resonates with me.
 
Looks like I'm definitely going to have to work on my abs. :(
 
@bailadora: Thanks so much for the call out *smile*. I'm really glad you enjoy my writing, and that video was such a joy to put together: I'm still blown away by the beauty of the men in it, and their willingness to share.

Re the OP, I agree that much of what's most accessible 'out there' isn't encouraging for women.

When I started my blog, I wrote this:

**"I wanted to read about real people living in happy, healthy, troubled, flawed, loving D/s relationships where the Domme’s submissive was her primary partner, where he was cherished, adored, and opened up like a ripe peach for the taking. I wanted incredible hotness and sex and affection and beauty. I wanted hurt hearts and struggles and magic moments and some truth that I could relate to. I couldn’t find it, so I created it."** (ugh, can't figure out how formatting works here!)

Not being able to find reflections of my version of dominance made me feel isolated. I think there are a lot more blogs and tumblrs out there now that veer away from the stereotypical portrayals of femdom.

I have some great blogs and some tumblrs of beautiful submissive men on my blog list: http://www.domme-chronicles.com/blogs-i-read

Ferns
 
@bailadora: Thanks so much for the call out *smile*. I'm really glad you enjoy my writing, and that video was such a joy to put together: I'm still blown away by the beauty of the men in it, and their willingness to share.

Re the OP, I agree that much of what's most accessible 'out there' isn't encouraging for women.

When I started my blog, I wrote this:

**"I wanted to read about real people living in happy, healthy, troubled, flawed, loving D/s relationships where the Domme’s submissive was her primary partner, where he was cherished, adored, and opened up like a ripe peach for the taking. I wanted incredible hotness and sex and affection and beauty. I wanted hurt hearts and struggles and magic moments and some truth that I could relate to. I couldn’t find it, so I created it."** (ugh, can't figure out how formatting works here!)

Not being able to find reflections of my version of dominance made me feel isolated. I think there are a lot more blogs and tumblrs out there now that veer away from the stereotypical portrayals of femdom.

I have some great blogs and some tumblrs of beautiful submissive men on my blog list: http://www.domme-chronicles.com/blogs-i-read

Ferns

Thank you so much for posting!

I so much wanted to put up your video and writing when I started the thread, but I couldn't find the links I wanted.

Bailadora - thank you so much for posting it.

I'm so glad this thread has taken on a life and people are freely posting:)

I'm still figuring out what I am.... But after the reading I've done of blogs like yours it feels more comfortable to say that I'm a dominant woman - at least to some extent:)

But I don't want to exclude the other too... And I can see where it seems that I am saying that the traditional image is *all* wrong - but like you I could never see myself in it.
 
So...

Are Strapons ( or strapless Strapons ) part of this or not? Some women hate the idea. Some guys also can't imagine it for the obvious reason.

I think if you are going to switch then everything should be open, but I am not into anyone creating unwanted pain or humiliation since I would not so that to a woman.
Switching allows really good insight as to how you might need to handle things when you are in control. Give a woman a chance to use a good strapless cock on you and you might have a much better idea of the tempo and ferocity she really wants from you. (Not a strapon that gives her no feedback for her own pleasure!)
 
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