done_got_old
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Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself?
Puns
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Mystery Man
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That must have been a sight to behold.
done_got_old
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Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
done_got_old
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Did you know they won't be making yard sticks any longer?
OldUncleJack
Hers
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The local police station has had all its toilets stolen - a spokesman is quoted as saying the police have nothing to go on.
done_got_old
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Perhaps they can water the grass.
Who ever invented the “Knock-Knock jokes” should get a No-bell prize
done_got_old
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I told my wife that it was her turn to shovel and salt the front steps. All I got was icy stares.
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Mystery Man
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Feminism and equality equals just-ice for women.
done_got_old
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When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
done_got_old
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A man noted for telling puns was locked into a dark closet, and told he would not be released until he made up a pun about the situation. He immediately shouted, "Oh, pun the door!"
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Mystery Man
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I bet that joke lit up the room.
done_got_old
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Following last week's news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale and is (you guessed it!) going for a song.
done_got_old
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Did you hear about the butcher who backed into his meat grinder and got a little behind in his work?
done_got_old
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I used to work for H&R Block, but it was just too taxing.
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Mystery Man
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There's only one room a skeleton can't enter - a Living room.
done_got_old
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My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.
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Mystery Man
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Was it pasteurised before you could see it?
done_got_old
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done_got_old
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Mystery Man
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If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
That would be scary!
done_got_old
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What is the difference between a miser and a canary? One's a little cheap and the other is a little cheeper.
greeneyedvirgin
Just Fork Me!
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Did you hear about the psychic midget that was missing?
The cops were looking for a small medium at large.
The cops were looking for a small medium at large.
done_got_old
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He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
