loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #876 I wonder what will happen if I shove a half dozen Mentos in there.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #877 Your lovemaking is so robotic that I'm always afraid you'll blue screen on me.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #878 Your dingleberries tinkle when I blow on them.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #879 Well, if you're not going to do it right, then send in you sister. I KNOW she can rock my world
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #880 Hey! Stop laughing! It's not my fault. It's cold here in my mom's basement. Try blowing on it.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #881 Do you happen to have an extra body bag in your closet?
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #882 Well, I'm going to tell people that I lost my virginity anyway.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #883 Stay here while I go get a few more victims.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #884 Tie this plastic bag over your head, and this'll go a lot quicker.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #886 If it weren't for the arms and legs, I'd think that you were a manatee.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #887 You haven't taught me anything that I hadn't already learned when I was an alter boy.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #888 Hop on up into my truck missy. We have 100 miles of bumpy highway ahead, and I know just he way that you can pay for your ride.
Hop on up into my truck missy. We have 100 miles of bumpy highway ahead, and I know just he way that you can pay for your ride.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #889 Here. Put on these glasses. I have a thing for librarians.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #890 Wow! Either you just had an attack of erectile dysfunction, or I need to brush my teeth.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #891 You'd better get your kissin' in now. You never know when I might have another herpes outbreak.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #892 Dammit! I was afraid your face would be the one I'd see when I sobered up.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #893 Guess what. I'm wearing a Nutella flavored condom.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #894 Dang! My vibrator's out of batteries. Hand me that electric toothbrush.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #895 Now look at the mirror over there, and say "I just got Punk'd"
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #896 I put my cell phone on vibrate. See if you can text me to orgasm.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #897 I feel like getting down and dirty. Let's go have sex in the pig wallow.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #898 I think that french kissing your tracheotomy is incredibly sexy.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #899 I have a bit of a sweet tooth, so I modified my artificial arm to also be a Pez dispenser.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 20, 2013 #900 Well officer, things were going pretty good until he stopped moving. So, I uncrossed my legs and discovered that he had suffocated.
Well officer, things were going pretty good until he stopped moving. So, I uncrossed my legs and discovered that he had suffocated.
