First poem sub. Feedback please

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Jun 7, 2015
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(My girlfriend sent me a picture so perfect, I locked myself away at work and rubbed my clit until I came)


Your picture

The one you sent
While I was working
Where you are smiling
And topless
And tangled in your sheets
Is perfect. Almost.
It is what I imagine I would see,
Beckoning me
To crawl my way until my head is buried
Beneath your blanket
Between your legs
And I can drink my fill of you.
And your arms are raised
Until I feel them reaching for me
And even though they have never touched
I have their outline on my thighs.
And the bruises from your fingers on my hips


It is picture perfect
in the lines of your stomach.
Your shoulders.
The corner of your smile.
The shaded apex of your ribs
where I would place my lips.

I keep returning.
For reference.
And my heart
is surprised each time.
It jumps and flutters
near my throat’s hollow.
Where small wanting noises
rest and purr.

I scan again. As if
this time there will be more.
Because it is almost perfect. But
not quite.
Because I cannot see your face.
And of all the places I could reach,
that’s where I most want to kiss.
 
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Some beautiful turns of phrase here. If I were the object of this encomium I would embrace the poet and not let him go until he had no words left to give
 
Hello and welcome. Very readable piece it leads the reader on very well but I'd cut out all those 'ands' you don't need them, nor the capitals at the beginning of every line, only at the beginning of a sentence. On some lines you do, on others you don't.

'Between your legs
I drink my fill of you.
your arms are raised
I feel them reaching for me
even though they've never touched
I have their outline on my thighs,
the bruises from your fingers on my hips.'
 
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