Old 09-28-2016, 11:18 AM   #51
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ha ha

it was not turning it to you. i was just curious if you had the misfortune to have a bad chat with some one.

yes not everybody has time to talk all the time and that is understandable. if you are looking for something and then at the people that contact you dont follow that. it can be kind of frustrating.

my experience if marginally positive. i only frequent a part of the forum so i stay away from everything and anyone that i consider that i would not want to interact with. so all fine.

Lucky you!
So which part of the forum is your favourite? Ha this could be the next question after (hopefully), some of the regulars reply to the current discussion.
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Old 09-28-2016, 04:01 PM   #52
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Taking Cross' question: "How is your experience with lit?" Guys are usually precise, but if you have any particular experience you'd like to share, please do so...tell us a little more, ok?
My experience here has been good overall. I've met some really nice (and sensual/sexual people), developed some friendships, and just generally had a good time on Lit.

However, I do "take Lit lightly" and that means I manage to avoid most of the online drama. I am careful about who I engage with. (One of the big advantages of a bulletin board type forum is, when you meet someone, you can look back through their posts and get a sense for the person behind the screen name - when I do that, if I notice any of what I call "the crazy" then I simply don't engage that person.)

Part of the trick to having a good time here is to find the people who want what you want and go from there. For example, I am interested in good conversation, casual friendships, and the occasional cyber partner - who has a good vocabulary, good imagination and in general has their shit together in their life so they're not looking to me to heal or fix their drama.
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Old 09-28-2016, 04:46 PM   #53
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It is odd that asian2015 says that guys start chatting and then disappear.
Does she think only guys do this?
I've had several chats with women where they have just stopped, with no explanation, without me having said anything rude or offensive (well maybe a bit rude, this is an erotica site!)
I'm not too bothered by this.

I also have a suggestion for the OP and many of the others who post similar chat requests: it would be more helpful to say what kind of things you do want to chat about than what you don't!

For that reason I don't bother responding to these. There's nothing to build on either in the OP or in the user's profile, so what would I say in a PM? "Hi I'd like to chat with you"?

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Old 09-28-2016, 08:41 PM   #54
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It is odd that asian2015 says that guys start chatting and then disappear.
Does she think only guys do this?
I've had several chats with women where they have just stopped, with no explanation, without me having said anything rude or offensive (well maybe a bit rude, this is an erotica site!)
I'm not too bothered by this.

I also have a suggestion for the OP and many of the others who post similar chat requests: it would be more helpful to say what kind of things you do want to chat about than what you don't!

For that reason I don't bother responding to these. There's nothing to build on either in the OP or in the user's profile, so what would I say in a PM? "Hi I'd like to chat with you"?

It is interesting that you have thus bothered to post here.

For the record, I've mentioned that while it probably happens from both sexes, I chat mostly with guys so my posts would be from that perspective.

This thread has evolved over the past few days, so I hope you've enjoyed reading the comments from numerous members here.
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Old 09-28-2016, 09:26 PM   #55
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If I pm I always want a response. However, I don't take it to personnel if I don't get one. So many fakes out there I would be in a bad way if I was hurt over every non-response.

Also, I will always reply to a pm I receive.
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Old 09-28-2016, 10:35 PM   #56
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Taking Cross' question: "How is your experience with lit?" Guys are usually precise, but if you have any particular experience you'd like to share, please do so...tell us a little more, ok?
Just about every person I've met and had personal conversations with on Lit has eventually disappeared or allowed the conversation to tail off to nothing. No friendship I've started here has lasted more than about 6 months, and because of my location, nothing has ever resulted in an in-person meeting.

I've always found the first, "Introductory" PM to be the most difficult. What kind of person am I writing? What is she really into? Even reading past forum posts doesn't always give me confidence. Since the majority of my "first" PMs go unanswered, I can only assume I'm going at it the "wrong" way. Then again, if I someone doesn't find me interesting from my first PM, then it probably wasn't going to be a good connection, anyway.

All of that having been said, I've had my share of fun on Lit. In almost all cases, the conversation starts out casual and eventually turns to something more intimate - which I think most people agree is the better way to go.

Overall, my experience with Lit has been a positive one. Lit has always been a place where I can feel comfortable exploring my sexual side, and that's a good thing.
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Old 09-29-2016, 10:33 AM   #57
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My experience here has been good overall. I've met some really nice (and sensual/sexual people), developed some friendships, and just generally had a good time on Lit.

However, I do "take Lit lightly" and that means I manage to avoid most of the online drama. I am careful about who I engage with. (One of the big advantages of a bulletin board type forum is, when you meet someone, you can look back through their posts and get a sense for the person behind the screen name - when I do that, if I notice any of what I call "the crazy" then I simply don't engage that person.)

Part of the trick to having a good time here is to find the people who want what you want and go from there. For example, I am interested in good conversation, casual friendships, and the occasional cyber partner - who has a good vocabulary, good imagination and in general has their shit together in their life so they're not looking to me to heal or fix their drama.
Right, provided they actually mean it when they say (for example) that they'd like good conversation or to get to know you. But more often than not, like you've mentioned earlier, most of these are just lines and deception. I've encountered a few of these and to be honest, it's made me wary.
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Old 09-29-2016, 10:43 AM   #58
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Just about every person I've met and had personal conversations with on Lit has eventually disappeared or allowed the conversation to tail off to nothing. No friendship I've started here has lasted more than about 6 months, and because of my location, nothing has ever resulted in an in-person meeting.

I've always found the first, "Introductory" PM to be the most difficult. What kind of person am I writing? What is she really into? Even reading past forum posts doesn't always give me confidence. Since the majority of my "first" PMs go unanswered, I can only assume I'm going at it the "wrong" way. Then again, if I someone doesn't find me interesting from my first PM, then it probably wasn't going to be a good connection, anyway.

All of that having been said, I've had my share of fun on Lit. In almost all cases, the conversation starts out casual and eventually turns to something more intimate - which I think most people agree is the better way to go.

Overall, my experience with Lit has been a positive one. Lit has always been a place where I can feel comfortable exploring my sexual side, and that's a good thing.

Welcome to the thread!
I'm wondering where you are that makes meeting up difficult?
As to first PMs, yea I understand. There are times I've received PMs and based on either their profile or the PM itself, I didn't think any chat would prevail. In those cases, as I've mentioned before, it's not easy to send a thanks but no thanks reply. I still send a reply regardless. Sometimes, it brings back a mean reply from the guy. Sigh.
Presently, I think it's safer to just "chat" here in the forum.
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Old 09-29-2016, 10:51 AM   #59
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Right, provided they actually mean it when they say (for example) that they'd like good conversation or to get to know you. But more often than not, like you've mentioned earlier, most of these are just lines and deception. I've encountered a few of these and to be honest, it's made me wary.
Yes. I also tend to be wary. It's the kind of in the nature of people to put a false face forward - whether they're engaged in active deception (feigning conversation and getting to know you as a path to sexually explicit activity) or simply trying to put their best self forward and conceal their negative character traits, such as pettiness, temper, controlling behavior, etc. I generally find that I like to PM or email with people for a while to truly get to know them before moving on to other forms of communication.
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Old 09-29-2016, 05:11 PM   #60
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Hi Asian, sorry for being slightly provocative in my comment, but I thought you were too! Yes the thread is an intersting read.

I agree very much with what kwmurf says. Especially the point about first PM being difficult. That's why I say that it's much better if the PM-requester gives some detail about what (s)he wants to chat about or is interested in. Even if it's flower-arranging or bungee-jumping or stamp-collecting.

I think you are being a bit tough, accusing people of lying. One person's lying is another person's fantasy role-playing.
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Old 09-30-2016, 02:38 AM   #61
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Hi Asian, sorry for being slightly provocative in my comment, but I thought you were too! Yes the thread is an intersting read.

I agree very much with what kwmurf says. Especially the point about first PM being difficult. That's why I say that it's much better if the PM-requester gives some detail about what (s)he wants to chat about or is interested in. Even if it's flower-arranging or bungee-jumping or stamp-collecting.

I think you are being a bit tough, accusing people of lying. One person's lying is another person's fantasy role-playing.

I'm wondering which post of mine specifically shows my alleged "provocative comments"?

I would suggest that perhaps you may like to check out some facts first before jumping to conclusions.

I could provide a much longer reply but I am choosing not to. I do not wish to see this thread turn wayward.
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Old 09-30-2016, 02:50 AM   #62
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Yes. I also tend to be wary. It's the kind of in the nature of people to put a false face forward - whether they're engaged in active deception (feigning conversation and getting to know you as a path to sexually explicit activity) or simply trying to put their best self forward and conceal their negative character traits, such as pettiness, temper, controlling behavior, etc. I generally find that I like to PM or email with people for a while to truly get to know them before moving on to other forms of communication.
Good idea! I guess what you're saying is: if someone is willing to spend time to trade emails back-n-forth for a while, hopefully we can learn a few things about them and see if it matches what we ourselves are looking for. Like you said: find the people who want what you want and go from there. (Yes, I do remember!)
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Old 09-30-2016, 03:17 AM   #63
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Hey Cross. Haha, good one, turning it back on me.

Well, first off, I'm not exactly new-new to lit, despite the join date. Been aware of this site for quite some years now, despite having left it for a while. However, I'm relatively new to the forums here.

My experience on lit has its share of ups and downs. Please dont take this the wrong way, but it would appear that back then, there were a few (more) guys who actually cared enough to take this to a more real level - some I have known for years and still stay in contact with to this day.

Unfortunately, recently, the experience has not been as good. As previously mentioned in an earlier post, the one that puzzles me most is after numerous conversations which were great, they just *poof*....oh, some are still around, posting in the forums, but they dont send/reply messages. Kinda rude, dont you think?

I wont go into details, but after replying all the PMs, I found I enjoyed talking to one guy, he was in the same time-zone. Sadly though, I think he was just too busy, we were looking for different things and we had different ways of doing things - namely how an online conversation was to be conducted. [Fyi: While I understand multi-tasking (and I'm good at it), I like to have conversations which are continuous and in real time].


Taking Cross' question: "How is your experience with lit?" Guys are usually precise, but if you have any particular experience you'd like to share, please do so...tell us a little more, ok?
Personally my experience on lit has been kind of blah. I find fun women to talk to one night but then never hear back after... I just get lonely and i come here to talk kind of suck thinking you hit off to find she was just passing time
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Old 09-30-2016, 03:29 AM   #64
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Personally my experience on lit has been kind of blah. I find fun women to talk to one night but then never hear back after... I just get lonely and i come here to talk kind of suck thinking you hit off to find she was just passing time
Welcome to the thread! Thank you for writing. I see you are still awake, so I'll take it as a positive sign that the thread is, at least, mildly entertaining.

I think your experience on lit is probably more the norm than the exception. You could try to send them a PM or an email if you dont see them again. If they valued the chat, they will reply.
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Old 09-30-2016, 03:36 AM   #65
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Welcome to the thread! Thank you for writing. I see you are still awake, so I'll take it as a positive sign that the thread is, at least, mildly entertaining.

I think your experience on lit is probably more the norm than the exception. You could try to send them a PM or an email if you dont see them again. If they valued the chat, they will reply.
I tend to send one folow up but after that i back off i dont want come accross needy or desperate.
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Old 09-30-2016, 03:37 AM   #66
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Hey All, I just updated the first original post to mention that I'm taking a (short) break from active chatting. Edit: I'll still be on this forum.

Taking a new direction away from lit, here's my next question:
Since I'm from South East Asia, have you been to this region?
Yes? Please share where you've been and what you liked/disliked about it.
No? Well, if you could, where would you go? Why that destination?

Last edited by asian2015 : 09-30-2016 at 03:49 AM.
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Old 09-30-2016, 03:42 AM   #67
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Hey All, I just updated the first original post to mention that I'm taking a break from active chatting.

Taking a new direction away from lit, here's my next question:
Since I'm from South East Asia, have you been to this region?
Yes? Please share where you've been and what you liked/disliked about it.
No? Well, if you could, where would you go? Why that destination?
First of all sorry to hear you are leaving us. I just met you. I have never been to an asian country but i have spent time in a philipino community was even engaged to a woman from there. So i would say that is where i would like to visit the most
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Old 09-30-2016, 03:46 AM   #68
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I tend to send one folow up but after that i back off i dont want come accross needy or desperate.
I understand. Point being: at least you have tried. I think that's important.
Its not easy but I guess we have to find those who are looking for the same things.
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Old 09-30-2016, 03:51 AM   #69
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I understand. Point being: at least you have tried. I think that's important.
Its not easy but I guess we have to find those who are looking for the same things.
Pretty much... Not everyone is for everyone
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Old 09-30-2016, 03:52 AM   #70
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Originally Posted by asian2015 View Post
Hey All, I just updated the first original post to mention that I'm taking a break from active chatting.

Taking a new direction away from lit, here's my next question:
Since I'm from South East Asia, have you been to this region?
Yes? Please share where you've been and what you liked/disliked about it.
No? Well, if you could, where would you go? Why that destination?
Been to Asia...but only China...Taiwan...Japan...and Singapore. Though did a one day visit to Indonesia.
Loved most every place.
People made it great to visit...so many stories. Heat made it not so fun...and humidity.
Hope you find fun and adventures no matter where.
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Old 09-30-2016, 03:52 AM   #71
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First of all sorry to hear you are leaving us. I just met you. I have never been to an asian country but i have spent time in a philipino community was even engaged to a woman from there. So i would say that is where i would like to visit the most
oh, I should have been clearer. I'm not leaving lit, I'll just be in the forum more than in active chat off-forum (skype, PM, etc).
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Old 09-30-2016, 04:00 AM   #72
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Been to Asia...but only China...Taiwan...Japan...and Singapore. Though did a one day visit to Indonesia.
Loved most every place.
People made it great to visit...so many stories. Heat made it not so fun...and humidity.
Hope you find fun and adventures no matter where.
Which was your favorite? Any particular story (or 2) that you could share with us what made it your favorite?
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Old 09-30-2016, 04:11 AM   #73
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Which was your favorite? Any particular story (or 2) that you could share with us what made it your favorite?
For now its Taiwan....once I was hiking in the hills...not knowing how to get home yet (had a phone as backup). Met a group of college kids. They guided me around the area. Emailed the photos to one of them (a girl), 1 year later met up with her and her bf...we went out on the town. Was amazing.

Another. Took a train. to a village. A college age girl noticed it was her village...knew what I was going to see. She invited me over for lunch with her mom and grandmom. They took me to the place I wanted to see (wasnt much)....so I went back and helped her tutor English to one of her students.

Still have friends that if I went over I'd be able to meet up with.
Non lit type stories...but fun. The lit type happened in Japan....
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Old 09-30-2016, 04:23 AM   #74
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For now its Taiwan....once I was hiking in the hills...not knowing how to get home yet (had a phone as backup). Met a group of college kids. They guided me around the area. Emailed the photos to one of them (a girl), 1 year later met up with her and her bf...we went out on the town. Was amazing.

Another. Took a train. to a village. A college age girl noticed it was her village...knew what I was going to see. She invited me over for lunch with her mom and grandmom. They took me to the place I wanted to see (wasnt much)....so I went back and helped her tutor English to one of her students.

Still have friends that if I went over I'd be able to meet up with.
Non lit type stories...but fun. The lit type happened in Japan....

- How long ago were these trips?
- I hope this question doesn't get me in trouble, but would this happen in a western country? offering to guide a random stranger/tourist; inviting them back to their home for a meal? Anyone can reply to this, what are your thoughts and/or experiences about this?
- Did you find communication easy in all these countries?
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Old 09-30-2016, 04:31 AM   #75
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- How long ago were these trips?
- I hope this question doesn't get me in trouble, but would this happen in a western country? offering to guide a random stranger/tourist; inviting them back to their home for a meal? Anyone can reply to this, what are your thoughts and/or experiences about this?
- Did you find communication easy in all these countries?
2005 to 2015.
Very unusual in a western country....college age girl brings older stranger home.
Communication was fairly easy...unless in the deep countryside.

The hardest part was separating the niceness from the real flirting. Throws most of the guys I knew off.
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