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Old 09-22-2016, 10:41 AM   #26
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Talking 1st timer here...

Hi, I'm new to lit, so I'm still learning my way around, but I've seen some interesting content. I'm looking to chat and start getting to know people. Anyone want to break me in? lol
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Old 09-22-2016, 10:56 AM   #27
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Originally Posted by asian2015 View Post
So I thought I'd try something new here...I'll throw a thought out and would like to hear your comments on it.

Guys, if you send a PM to a woman, are you really expecting a reply or is it "no biggie" if she doesnt send you a reply? How do you feel?
If its just a random Pm out of the blue - no reply isn't a problem. However if she asks a question on a thread or asks for responses - i think a reply is in order...just saying...
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Old 09-22-2016, 10:56 AM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cumquix View Post
Hi, I'm new to lit, so I'm still learning my way around, but I've seen some interesting content. I'm looking to chat and start getting to know people. Anyone want to break me in? lol
you need to allow PMs!

go to options.
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Old 09-22-2016, 11:52 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by ann21red View Post
I always try and reply it depends on how busy i am, after all they have taken the trouble to write to me
Quote:
Originally Posted by vibes View Post
I think this is a positive attitude, provided the PM does prove some effort was put in writing it
---> I agree with both of you. I usually try to reply to all PMs too.

However, what happens when its clear they have not read my post - or perhaps chosen to totally ignore it? As an example: asking them what they would like to chat about, the reply is "dirty talk".


Quote:
Originally Posted by OxfordDon View Post
If its just a random Pm out of the blue - no reply isn't a problem. However if she asks a question on a thread or asks for responses - i think a reply is in order...just saying...
---> I recognize your username. Are you saying I did not send a reply? I recall you sent me a PM wanting to chat. not answering any question specifically.
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Old 09-23-2016, 12:07 AM   #30
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Btw, just an update that there are quite a few guys who would actually appreciate a reply. I generally would send replies, its just more difficult to send a "thank you but no thanks" kind of reply.
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Old 09-23-2016, 12:22 AM   #31
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Originally Posted by asian2015 View Post
Btw, just an update that there are quite a few guys who would actually appreciate a reply. I generally would send replies, its just more difficult to send a "thank you but no thanks" kind of reply.
No problem.....enjoy lit
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Old 09-23-2016, 09:00 AM   #32
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Smile, Wink have we stirred things up a bit lol
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Old 09-26-2016, 11:43 AM   #33
asian2015
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This probably happens with both sexes, but since I generally chat with guys, my question would be: why do guys lie when they chat online?

Let's discuss this here.
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Old 09-26-2016, 11:47 AM   #34
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no freaking idea, never understood it...It could be somehjng about the thrill of deception
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Old 09-26-2016, 01:17 PM   #35
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I'd hazard to guess there are a couple of reasons:

1. Personal insecurity, the sense that who they really are is not good enough to attract potential partners.

2. Reactive chatting, where the person is patterning their responses to meet what they perceive are the criteria for the potential partner - e.g. feigning interest in certain things, modifying their personal history/self to meet what they think the other poster/person wants.

3. Some folks are just flat out deceptive - and they're probably deceptive IRL too.

4. The one hard truth that many men will deny and that is, basically, we'll all lie for sex, including cybersex.
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Old 09-27-2016, 10:50 AM   #36
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Thanks, Paul and Live for your insights.

It's simple - a lie is a lie is a lie.
Words and promises being broken is also a form of a lie.
Deception is never beneficial.
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Old 09-27-2016, 11:49 AM   #37
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guys and girls for the matter lie online because its easy, and they think it does not matter, because its just online, it wont affect my normal life.

and because because they think that they will never get caught. its a win win scenario for them.
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Old 09-27-2016, 12:01 PM   #38
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I'll actually disagree with deception never being useful - in many arenas, strategic and tactical deception are effect tools, especially in the face of opposition.

That said, in my personal life, I strive be a practitioner of honesty - though that brings it's own set of problems time to time. I agree that if you say you are going to do something you should do it or at least have a good explanation for why you didn't.

I have a very live and let live approach to personal relationships though - I tend not to pry. If a person wants to tell me about something or ask difficult questions, I am down for it. But, if they want to manage their lives a little more, then they are welcome too. Like everyone, I don't like it when people lie to me - but, when it happens I tend to wait for the explanation first, before assuming bad intentions.

In online relationships I am even more relaxed. I think the online world is a strange mix of reality and fantasy. If you want to use your online persona as a fantasy character, well, that is your choice and I will play along. I take people at face value until they give me a reason not to.

If you're using your online persona for sexual gratification, I really don't care if it is not truly you. I enjoy the fantasy element of online play as well.
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Old 09-27-2016, 12:27 PM   #39
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We weren't talking about strategies or tactics. I won't comment on that but would clarify that the question was focused on online chat where both parties have come to the understanding of getting to know each other. In this case, I really don't think it's appropriate to lie. If one party still just wanted to maintain some online super-fantasy-personality, then just say so. Otherwise, I'd say the deception would be a terrible thing to inflict on the other person.

Unfortunately, Paul - most online liars don't explain, they just vanish.

Ok, I'll think of another question to pose soon.
Discuss again then!
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Old 09-27-2016, 02:31 PM   #40
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Hi

just saw this thread. Welcome to lit.

I would love to talk more with you if you'd like., If not thats cool.

either way enjoy lit
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Old 09-27-2016, 04:02 PM   #41
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Looking forward to the next question.

Yes, I think one of the strange things about online is the frequency with which people just disappear. Poof. Gone.
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Old 09-27-2016, 06:45 PM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by asian2015 View Post
In an earlier post, I asked whether any of you has met a lit-ster.
If you did, how did it go?
If you havent, would you?

This time, I'm looking for someone who has the time to have a proper continuous chat. (Please dont take 30 minutes in between messages).
I have. We had an amazing online rapport. We loved writing long emails to each other. She decided to move nearer to me, and my wife. I found her a place to rent. She turned out to have lied about pretty much everything we'd ever talked about. She bragged about the lies she told to other "friends". Within six months she had moved on to someone else three thousand miles away. But, I'm an optimist, so I would do it again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by asian2015 View Post
So I thought I'd try something new here...I'll throw a thought out and would like to hear your comments on it.

Guys, if you send a PM to a woman, are you really expecting a reply or is it "no biggie" if she doesnt send you a reply? How do you feel?
I HOPE for a reply. But I've learned NOT to expect one. I come here for connection, so I'm pretty selective about who I contact. Unless we start to talk and develop rapport I keep my expectations set to nothing. The ones that puzzle me are the ones that reply, sound so promising, and then just evaporate. "Biggies" are rare online.

Quote:
Originally Posted by asian2015 View Post
Btw, just an update that there are quite a few guys who would actually appreciate a reply. I generally would send replies, its just more difficult to send a "thank you but no thanks" kind of reply.
A "thank you but no thanks" is an act of kindness. The world needs more acts of random kindness.

Quote:
Originally Posted by asian2015 View Post
This probably happens with both sexes, but since I generally chat with guys, my question would be: why do guys lie when they chat online?

Let's discuss this here.
I think most people online feel much freer to lie than they do when they're staring someone in the eyes. It's the sad reality of having this amazing tool at out fingertips. In MY time on Earth I've learned that there are very very few situations in which a lie is the best choice you can make.
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Old 09-28-2016, 02:15 AM   #43
asian2015
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Originally Posted by BarbarianTaco View Post
Hi

just saw this thread. Welcome to lit.

I would love to talk more with you if you'd like., If not thats cool.

either way enjoy lit

Haha, Thanks for the welcome. Welcome to my thread!
I've never chatted with a "barbarian" before lol.
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Old 09-28-2016, 02:21 AM   #44
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I have. We had an amazing online rapport. We loved writing long emails to each other. She decided to move nearer to me, and my wife. I found her a place to rent. She turned out to have lied about pretty much everything we'd ever talked about. She bragged about the lies she told to other "friends". Within six months she had moved on to someone else three thousand miles away. But, I'm an optimist, so I would do it again.



I HOPE for a reply. But I've learned NOT to expect one. I come here for connection, so I'm pretty selective about who I contact. Unless we start to talk and develop rapport I keep my expectations set to nothing. The ones that puzzle me are the ones that reply, sound so promising, and then just evaporate. "Biggies" are rare online.



A "thank you but no thanks" is an act of kindness. The world needs more acts of random kindness.



I think most people online feel much freer to lie than they do when they're staring someone in the eyes. It's the sad reality of having this amazing tool at out fingertips. In MY time on Earth I've learned that there are very very few situations in which a lie is the best choice you can make.

Hello! Thanks for your remarks.

Yup, I agree about the vanishing acts as well as the comments about lies.
I just dont understand how or why some people would spend (or waste?) so much time creating lies seemingly building rapport, then just vanish without a word. At the very least, say something!
As to your encounter...she even moved! really makes one wonder what she is up to.
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Old 09-28-2016, 02:24 AM   #45
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Well, here's another twist. since there are a few who seem sane and interested to chat/discuss here, do any of you have any thoughts/questions to ask and share?
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Old 09-28-2016, 03:05 AM   #46
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Originally Posted by asian2015 View Post
Well, here's another twist. since there are a few who seem sane and interested to chat/discuss here, do any of you have any thoughts/questions to ask and share?
how is your experience with lit going.
since you are talking about lying it makes me wonder if it started with the wrong foot.
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Old 09-28-2016, 03:38 AM   #47
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Originally Posted by CrossPT View Post
how is your experience with lit going.
since you are talking about lying it makes me wonder if it started with the wrong foot.

Hey Cross. Haha, good one, turning it back on me.

Well, first off, I'm not exactly new-new to lit, despite the join date. Been aware of this site for quite some years now, despite having left it for a while. However, I'm relatively new to the forums here.

My experience on lit has its share of ups and downs. Please dont take this the wrong way, but it would appear that back then, there were a few (more) guys who actually cared enough to take this to a more real level - some I have known for years and still stay in contact with to this day.

Unfortunately, recently, the experience has not been as good. As previously mentioned in an earlier post, the one that puzzles me most is after numerous conversations which were great, they just *poof*....oh, some are still around, posting in the forums, but they dont send/reply messages. Kinda rude, dont you think?

I wont go into details, but after replying all the PMs, I found I enjoyed talking to one guy, he was in the same time-zone. Sadly though, I think he was just too busy, we were looking for different things and we had different ways of doing things - namely how an online conversation was to be conducted. [Fyi: While I understand multi-tasking (and I'm good at it), I like to have conversations which are continuous and in real time].


Taking Cross' question: "How is your experience with lit?" Guys are usually precise, but if you have any particular experience you'd like to share, please do so...tell us a little more, ok?
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Old 09-28-2016, 09:19 AM   #48
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ha ha

it was not turning it to you. i was just curious if you had the misfortune to have a bad chat with some one.

yes not everybody has time to talk all the time and that is understandable. if you are looking for something and then at the people that contact you dont follow that. it can be kind of frustrating.

my experience if marginally positive. i only frequent a part of the forum so i stay away from everything and anyone that i consider that i would not want to interact with. so all fine.
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Old 09-28-2016, 10:59 AM   #49
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Love to chat with a Bi guy. I have some very kinky ideas, some of which would be illegal as hell if I acted on them.
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Old 09-28-2016, 11:14 AM   #50
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Love to chat with a Bi guy. I have some very kinky ideas, some of which would be illegal as hell if I acted on them.
There's an idea, maybe we'll talk about kinky ideas one of these days. Right now, however, the question is "how is your experience with lit?"
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