Old 07-26-2018, 02:45 PM   #1
formertroll
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33m seeking f

i have no idea what to write here. i guess i'm looking for a gal who doesn't mind that i don't capitalize stuff. that's a good start. i try to use proper grammar, spelling, and oxford commas. i'm looking for a woman who trusts her gut. without writing a novel here there's no way i could tell you enough about me to determine if we're compatible, let alone everything there is to know.

i'm seeking friendship first but possibly relationship. I've had bad luck on both fronts lately, perhaps my fault or perhaps theirs. i have a chat profile and usually hang out there if you want to talk or PM is welcome of course.

because i was taught to always leave them wanting more, let me leave you with this joke:

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her a drink, so he heads over to the punch table but there was no no punchline.

edit: https://www.literotica.com/stories/m...hp?uid=4242095 there's my chat profile.

Last edited by formertroll : 07-27-2018 at 09:16 PM. Reason: forgot something important
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Old 07-26-2018, 03:32 PM   #2
Littletoo
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Thst jokes is, um, like SOO BADD I just HAVE to bump you up!

Love,

Jamie
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Old 07-27-2018, 01:44 PM   #3
formertroll
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I guess y'all need another joke :-)

Once upon a time, in the middle of the ocean, there was the Island of Trid.

It seems that most of the Island of Trid was covered by a large mountain. On this mountain lived a Giant. The Giant did not allow Trids on his mountain. If a Trid dared to climb onto the mountain, the Giant would kick them into the ocean. Trids are notoriously bad swimmers and frequently drowned when kicked into the ocean.

The Trids were very fruitful and multiplied greatly. Thus the population had grown extremely large. Every square inch of the island, except for the mountain, was crowded with Trids.

The Trids spent their days crowded together dreaming of the open space available on the ever visible mountain. Every few days, a Trid would decide he couldn't stand it any longer and would proceed to climb the mountain, and the Giant would kick the Trid into the ocean. The Trids were a very depressed people.

One day a traveling Rabbi visited the Island of Trid. Despite their overcrowded conditions, the Trids were extremely generous to this man of God.

The Rabbi decided to return the favor and go plead the Trids case to the Giant. "Surely the Giant can be convinced to share some of the mountain with you," the Rabbi explained.

The Trids were horrified. "Please don't go, Rabbi", the Trids implored,"The Giant will kick you into the ocean and you will surely drown."

The rabbi was stubborn and insisted he talk to the Giant. The Trids sent out every boat they had. They formed a ring around the island, so that they would be able to rescue the Rabbi.

The Rabbi started walking towards the mountain, further than any Trid had ever been. Still no sign of the Giant.

He walked through the foothills, and there was no sign of the Giant.

He started up the slopes of the mountain, further than any Trid had ever been. Still no sign of the Giant.

Finally he reached the summit of the mountain. There the Giant was waiting for him. The Rabbi asked, "Tell me Giant, why have you allowed me to climb to the top of the mountain, without kicking me off the moment I started climbing?"

And the Giant chuckled saying, "Don't you know, Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"
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Old 07-28-2018, 05:55 PM   #4
formertroll
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Bump for dad jokes
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Old 08-10-2018, 08:01 AM   #5
formertroll
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Any one have a joke to contribute to the cause?
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Old 08-12-2018, 11:43 PM   #6
formertroll
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Bumping to make it clear I'm married
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Old 08-13-2018, 12:00 AM   #7
The_GloriousBitch
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Quote:
Originally Posted by formertroll View Post
i have no idea what to write here. i guess i'm looking for a gal who doesn't mind that i don't capitalize stuff. that's a good start. i try to use proper grammar, spelling, and oxford commas. i'm looking for a woman who trusts her gut. without writing a novel here there's no way i could tell you enough about me to determine if we're compatible, let alone everything there is to know.

i'm seeking friendship first but possibly relationship. I've had bad luck on both fronts lately, perhaps my fault or perhaps theirs. i have a chat profile and usually hang out there if you want to talk or PM is welcome of course.

because i was taught to always leave them wanting more, let me leave you with this joke:

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her a drink, so he heads over to the punch table but there was no no punchline.

edit: https://www.literotica.com/stories/m...hp?uid=4242095 there's my chat profile.

Hi,
How are you today?

That was a bad joke but your joke leave me wanting for more. ☺️😊
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Old 08-13-2018, 12:05 AM   #8
formertroll
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The_GloriousBitch View Post
Hi,
How are you today?

That was a bad joke but your joke leave me wanting for more. ☺️😊
I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later.
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Old 08-14-2018, 07:00 PM   #9
sneb
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Good word puns, man! 😂
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The World is a huge mating pot.
And The gorgeous peacock mucks in the mud in the end.
-Ford(Westworld)

All the world is an elaborate mating ritual.

I spent the last night thinking,
Trying to find your teddy bear,
I opened every cupboard to look for it,
All I got was a photo album and a Johnny Walker Blue.
After a few glasses, I realized-
You are not real, and no body was looking for a teddy bear.
At last, for a brief moment though,
I had been awakened.

-S.


You such a lost cause in my furious worry,
My forgotten song, one in my flowery youth-
I lived breathed and such wore with pride,
You such pointless obsession, one I can't undo.
-S.



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