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Funny feedback question.

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bone251

Literotica Guru
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Sep 6, 2001
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I have several chapters of a "The Muse is a Goddess" up. The story has a couple young beautiful girls, orgasm denial, chastity, bondage, a girl having lots of orgasms and a little humor.

My thought is reading a story even about sex can get dry so a little humor makes things a bit lighter and puts a little more personality in the situation that is hopefully turning you on. I have followed a theme on each chapter so there is a little connection to each one liner as the story moves on.

But I have gotten a few feedbacks suggesting the humor is not helping. So I am looking to get a little more feedback justifying me continuing the humor. So if you could spare a moment, please read a little and tell me what you think.

I would also like to say that to me a girl keeping a guy horny with orgasm denial does not need to always be a Dom but could also be a girl that likes to get devious when teasing a guy and take advantage of him and be greedy about having the horny guy please her. If you are that girl or a Dom I would love to hear your thoughts on the stories activities and how they are presented.

And little observation about my hidden online life. I was at a party the other day and I said my alter ego writes fantasy sex stories. I got a big laugh as my normal life would never seem that could happen.

For those that take some time to read and comment, I offer a really big thank you!


:):):):):):):)
 
Don't be surprised if you don't get a ton of responses to this right now. I won't have a chance to read anything substantial until mid next week. Hopefully others will be ablr to chime in.
 
I like the inclusion of a little humor in a Lit story (or any story, really). A little bit of humor always seeps into my own stories, if I intend it or not.

I read a few of your Muse/Goddess stories, and I found them a delightful mix of sex and humor. My recommendation is to keep it up!.......Carney

PS - I played trombone in high school band! But haven't stroked that bone in many years.
 
bone251 said:
I have several chapters of a "The Muse is a Goddess" up. The story has a couple young beautiful girls, orgasm denial, chastity, bondage, a girl having lots of orgasms and a little humor.

My thought is reading a story even about sex can get dry so a little humor makes things a bit lighter and puts a little more personality in the situation that is hopefully turning you on. I have followed a theme on each chapter so there is a little connection to each one liner as the story moves on.

But I have gotten a few feedbacks suggesting the humor is not helping. So I am looking to get a little more feedback justifying me continuing the humor. So if you could spare a moment, please read a little and tell me what you think.

I would also like to say that to me a girl keeping a guy horny with orgasm denial does not need to always be a Dom but could also be a girl that likes to get devious when teasing a guy and take advantage of him and be greedy about having the horny guy please her. If you are that girl or a Dom I would love to hear your thoughts on the stories activities and how they are presented.

And little observation about my hidden online life. I was at a party the other day and I said my alter ego writes fantasy sex stories. I got a big laugh as my normal life would never seem that could happen.

For those that take some time to read and comment, I offer a really big thank you!


:):):):):):):)
Click to expand...

Could you link to your story, perhaps? I'll give it a read,as a quick perusal didn't help me find it. You can either put here or PM me.
 
Carnevil9 said:
I played trombone in high school band! But haven't stroked that bone in many years.
Click to expand...

Boom tish.

Humour in stories is very tricky. What's funny to one is groan to the next. You then factor in all of the different national differences, and the fact that a significant portion of the English speaking world doesn't understand irony and sarcasm (here's looking at you, America), and you gotta be brave.

Or silly:

https://www.literotica.com/s/aalison-the-aardvark

Or stupid:

https://www.literotica.com/s/in-search-of-a-story


Whichever, you cannot take yourself seriously when you're trying to be funny. Seriously!

A very light touch, in an otherwise horny tale, can work, I think. But it doesn't need bright flashing lights - if your reader has your sense of humour it'll get the wry smile; if they don't, it'll go over their heads anyway, so keep it swift (not Swiftian), is my suggestion.
 
Bone,

An entertaining little quartet, and for me, an intriguing little piece on extended denial (not something I've dabbled with personally, but kind of fascinating nevertheless).

I've left a few comments in the story file.

Not quite how I've ever seen big bands operating, but then, I've not gone down to the green room after the gig!
 
bone251 said:
Yes. The links are in my signature
:)
Click to expand...

thanks bone, electricblue and carnevil9. I must have hit a dead brain spot right about then, since I've been in a forum designed like this before and I must not have focused or been thinking about something else. Reading now.
 
Bone:

I read ch. 1 and 2 and left comments appropriate to what you looked for. Ch. 1 had more one-liners/humor than ch. 2, although ch. 2 employed different humorous references and that may be the difference some readers felt: I pointed out the ones that stuck out and for sure be careful of undue repetition because that will stop more in their tracks. Otherwise, your characters acted out happily within what you stated you wanted by how you structured the story, so you accomplished that. Unless you'd like more, I'll limit myself to that, especially since it's not my preferred genre so I do feel a bit out of my element (although it doesn't prevent me from analyzing the humor by itself unless you intend that humor to be only directed to genre references, which seemed to me wasn't largely the case).
 
Last edited:
A big thank you to electricblue66 and Comentarista82.

I am self taught and my teacher seems to not know what is what sometimes. So your comments are vary valued. The additional ones offered would be useful too I believe.

I will figure a better stage for the humor on the next chapter.

:):):):):):):)
 
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