Your Misadventures in Sex
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kisschampagne
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Mine is pretty common I should think- lover was done, withdrew, fingered me. Some time later asks where the condom went. I got it out myself.
E
Eva_Star
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Mine are pretty normal embarrassing stuff.
The ones that come to mind right now are...
1. Bf at the time wanting to shoot on my tits but came with such force it shot straight into my eyes. Haha I nearly died laughing.
2. Having my foot propped up on a window sill while guy went down on me and breaking the glass on accident when I came. Only minor cuts but had to make up an excuse as to why the window was broke.
3. Having an old security guy in a parking garage stop my now husband and say "um..sir, um I thought you might...erm...like to know...that there are cameras...um...everywhere in here." While avoiding eye contact with me...as we were leaving the garage...right after I gave now husband head in his car. *blush*
4. Blowing now husband in a unisex bathroom at work...people came in...holding my breath and keeping my feet off the ground while continuing to blow him until everyone left again.
5. Having crazy noisy sex in a tent in a secluded area one night...only to find out the next morning that it wasn't that secluded as there were several tents right on the other side of the tree line....and when we met the other campers, they asked if we would hold it down if we were staying another night. bahaha.
The ones that come to mind right now are...
1. Bf at the time wanting to shoot on my tits but came with such force it shot straight into my eyes. Haha I nearly died laughing.
2. Having my foot propped up on a window sill while guy went down on me and breaking the glass on accident when I came. Only minor cuts but had to make up an excuse as to why the window was broke.
3. Having an old security guy in a parking garage stop my now husband and say "um..sir, um I thought you might...erm...like to know...that there are cameras...um...everywhere in here." While avoiding eye contact with me...as we were leaving the garage...right after I gave now husband head in his car. *blush*
4. Blowing now husband in a unisex bathroom at work...people came in...holding my breath and keeping my feet off the ground while continuing to blow him until everyone left again.
5. Having crazy noisy sex in a tent in a secluded area one night...only to find out the next morning that it wasn't that secluded as there were several tents right on the other side of the tree line....and when we met the other campers, they asked if we would hold it down if we were staying another night. bahaha.
Hedonboii22
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Embarrassed....
Back when I lived with my mother in a two bedroom apartment, we shared a wall between our bedrooms.. well one night when my girlfriend and I came back from a night out drinking we immediately went to my bed and began fucking..quite loudly
The problem was that in my drunken horny state, I forgot that it was a Thursday, not Friday. My mother worked overnight shifts on the weekend, but Thursday was her night off..
So, within a matter of about 1-2 minutes my mother was pounding on the shared wall, shouting at us to stop.
Here I am balls deep in my girlfriends pussy with my mother maybe 4 feet away with only to separate us. After the initial embarrassment washed. Over me I couldn't help but laugh uncontrollably trying to be as quiet as I could while my girlfriend glared at me with a look that was half embarrassment, half anger at me for forgetting it was Thursday and also for laughing.
Now we laugh about that night but at the time it was quite embarrassing for us lol
Back when I lived with my mother in a two bedroom apartment, we shared a wall between our bedrooms.. well one night when my girlfriend and I came back from a night out drinking we immediately went to my bed and began fucking..quite loudly
The problem was that in my drunken horny state, I forgot that it was a Thursday, not Friday. My mother worked overnight shifts on the weekend, but Thursday was her night off..
So, within a matter of about 1-2 minutes my mother was pounding on the shared wall, shouting at us to stop.
Here I am balls deep in my girlfriends pussy with my mother maybe 4 feet away with only to separate us. After the initial embarrassment washed. Over me I couldn't help but laugh uncontrollably trying to be as quiet as I could while my girlfriend glared at me with a look that was half embarrassment, half anger at me for forgetting it was Thursday and also for laughing.
Now we laugh about that night but at the time it was quite embarrassing for us lol
AnAmericanDarling
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This happened when I first started having sex and I was pretty inexperienced. He was inside me - then he told me he had to go to the bathroom. A George Costanza story I swear it is not! I was thinking to myself "Here I am, so nervous, he's finally in - can he get back in after he uses the toilet? Will I be ABLE to let him back in?"
Finally, we ended up in some sort of an argument and I left. And that pretty much ended that "Affair to Remember". Now if that had happened these days, I would've laughed and let the man use the john, no biggie!
Finally, we ended up in some sort of an argument and I left. And that pretty much ended that "Affair to Remember". Now if that had happened these days, I would've laughed and let the man use the john, no biggie!
grizzlyman
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my misadventure
I was with the ex at the time (both worked together in the same building). So at the end of a shift we both decided to take a moonlight break on the roof. One thing led to another . And in all the time it hadn't occurred to me she was on her period. When this was all said and done, I drove us both home from the job site in a rush. I ended up getting pulled over on a busted blinker, and when the officer had come up to my door all he saw was my face and hands covered in blood
with my lady beside me, both of us with scratches and a few small scrapes and gouges all over )(roof tops had ought to be called "rough tops".). He turned lively and fierce quick, All i could say is we just got off from work,while trying to think of a not so embarassing story to tell because of the blood. And as the officer was getting really on edge, the ex spouts off that we had just made love and she was on her period. The cop just starred and turned red in bashfullness and let me go fortunately on a warning. That was one lucky and odd adventure.
I was with the ex at the time (both worked together in the same building). So at the end of a shift we both decided to take a moonlight break on the roof. One thing led to another . And in all the time it hadn't occurred to me she was on her period. When this was all said and done, I drove us both home from the job site in a rush. I ended up getting pulled over on a busted blinker, and when the officer had come up to my door all he saw was my face and hands covered in blood
with my lady beside me, both of us with scratches and a few small scrapes and gouges all over )(roof tops had ought to be called "rough tops".). He turned lively and fierce quick, All i could say is we just got off from work,while trying to think of a not so embarassing story to tell because of the blood. And as the officer was getting really on edge, the ex spouts off that we had just made love and she was on her period. The cop just starred and turned red in bashfullness and let me go fortunately on a warning. That was one lucky and odd adventure.alexliuparc
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... and then she fainted
We were in our early twenties and visiting her family in Spain.
One afternoon, we made love, nothing strenuous, it was not even very hot (temperature-wise), but my GF just went limp.
What had I done???
Short panic attack.
She was still breathing!
Should I carry on? or wake her up?
I did the latter. Still one of my favorite memories
We were in our early twenties and visiting her family in Spain.
One afternoon, we made love, nothing strenuous, it was not even very hot (temperature-wise), but my GF just went limp.
What had I done???
Short panic attack.
She was still breathing!
Should I carry on? or wake her up?
I did the latter. Still one of my favorite memories
genxer36
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As a teenager, I was sitting on the washer in the basement. My girlfriend decided to give me a blow job. I was in the moment and never heard my mother open the basement door. She was standing on the stairs and had a clear view of the act. I never knew how long she was standing there. But she made some noise and we quickly straightened up and ran upstairs.
Same gf we were parking and cops knocked on our window and shined their flashlights in the car while I was plowing away doggy style.
Same gf we were parking and cops knocked on our window and shined their flashlights in the car while I was plowing away doggy style.
Alright get ready to laugh
So this wonderful misadventure happened during high school when I lived in georgia, remember that it's important. Now it's winter out and a friend of mine calls me saying her dad is gone to work and she's feeling frisky. Now I come from up north so winter in georgia was not exactly a problem for me and I start walking to her house, was only a couple miles away so no big deal. Unfortunately for me ob this particular day it decided to snow, and by snow I mean like it does up north during a northeastern. Again being a hardy and horny young man from the north a little snow is not gonna stop me from a true southern born beauty. So I get to the ladies house no worse for wear and we start making out. Things progress as they normally do and we end up in her room bare assed with the window open a bit cause it was getting a bit toasty in that room, I thank God for that to this day. Now I'm rather forceful and this lusty lady was rather loud so neither of us heard her father pull up and enter his house....this gentleman was a true father and I hold no grudge against what happens next, first I know that he's home is when he flings the door open and starts screaming, shocked I was but managed to notice the fact that this guy was holding a long metallic object in his hands...without thinking I immediately threw myself out the window, thank God for no screen otherwise I'd of been hurting more than I ended up. So I hit the snow covered ground bare assed and start running, and from behind me I hear a sound I had only heard in movies up to that point, the sound a shotgun going off and an almighty pain rips across me ass. I have never ran so fast in my life, and thankfully I had a friend who lived about a mile from her house. I show up at said friends house freezing my ass off, dahm near literally...and as my luck is still holding true there having a family gathering, so now about 20 of his family get a front row to my humiliation lol. Thankfully I'd known him for years and his parents didn't rat me out to mine, also lucky one of his family members was In the medical field and could remove the pieces of buckshot in my ass, though still made for a few interesting weeks, thankfully I had a high pain tolerance lol. Skip forward a week or two and I finally see said lady who resulted in my ass now having a couple of scars in it, she walks up to me calm as can be in the halls and starts handing me all the clothes I had left In my hurried escape...she made it up to me when I finally finished healing but that day is forever etched in my memory as one of the more disastrous of my misadventures in sex
So this wonderful misadventure happened during high school when I lived in georgia, remember that it's important. Now it's winter out and a friend of mine calls me saying her dad is gone to work and she's feeling frisky. Now I come from up north so winter in georgia was not exactly a problem for me and I start walking to her house, was only a couple miles away so no big deal. Unfortunately for me ob this particular day it decided to snow, and by snow I mean like it does up north during a northeastern. Again being a hardy and horny young man from the north a little snow is not gonna stop me from a true southern born beauty. So I get to the ladies house no worse for wear and we start making out. Things progress as they normally do and we end up in her room bare assed with the window open a bit cause it was getting a bit toasty in that room, I thank God for that to this day. Now I'm rather forceful and this lusty lady was rather loud so neither of us heard her father pull up and enter his house....this gentleman was a true father and I hold no grudge against what happens next, first I know that he's home is when he flings the door open and starts screaming, shocked I was but managed to notice the fact that this guy was holding a long metallic object in his hands...without thinking I immediately threw myself out the window, thank God for no screen otherwise I'd of been hurting more than I ended up. So I hit the snow covered ground bare assed and start running, and from behind me I hear a sound I had only heard in movies up to that point, the sound a shotgun going off and an almighty pain rips across me ass. I have never ran so fast in my life, and thankfully I had a friend who lived about a mile from her house. I show up at said friends house freezing my ass off, dahm near literally...and as my luck is still holding true there having a family gathering, so now about 20 of his family get a front row to my humiliation lol. Thankfully I'd known him for years and his parents didn't rat me out to mine, also lucky one of his family members was In the medical field and could remove the pieces of buckshot in my ass, though still made for a few interesting weeks, thankfully I had a high pain tolerance lol. Skip forward a week or two and I finally see said lady who resulted in my ass now having a couple of scars in it, she walks up to me calm as can be in the halls and starts handing me all the clothes I had left In my hurried escape...she made it up to me when I finally finished healing but that day is forever etched in my memory as one of the more disastrous of my misadventures in sex
KrazieKat69
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Not sure if mine is, well ok it probably was but didn't see the reaction.. My first wife and I were coming back from a car show, and she told me if anyone is coming towards us let me know. She reached over and un did my pants and bent over, while she was giving me head a pickup with two guys in it were coming towards us and I was enjoying it to much to have her stop. So with my hand down her shorts and her going at it, I kept going. The guys passed us and both lifted up off the seat and looked as they went by.. Thinking about it, I would of liked to hear what they said afterwards!!! LOL
Isevil1976
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Couple different misadventures
1. Years ago when my wife and I were dating we packed up a couple bags for a weekend in the mountains of New Hampshire, one of those bags was full of our toys. On the first night we arrived at the mom and pop hotel and couldn’t resist starting our kinky weekend, handcuffed to the bed I slapped, toyed, spanked and fucked her, her body was red and sweaty, hair and makeup was a mess, I went into the bag to grab the handcuffs keys to find I had forgot it, but no big deal they were “bedroom” handcuffs so there is a safety release, well unfortunately my dumbass actually grabbed the real handcuffs I had, needless to say I had to call the police department who eventually called the fire department and they had to cut her free, needless to say about 15 small town volunteer call firefighters showed up to free her.
2. I wrote SLUT across my wife’s forehead and slap here across her tits, too bad it was with permanent marker, I had to make a run to the store to grab alcohol to get it off her which then left her skin all blotchy and red.
And someway she still marrried me
1. Years ago when my wife and I were dating we packed up a couple bags for a weekend in the mountains of New Hampshire, one of those bags was full of our toys. On the first night we arrived at the mom and pop hotel and couldn’t resist starting our kinky weekend, handcuffed to the bed I slapped, toyed, spanked and fucked her, her body was red and sweaty, hair and makeup was a mess, I went into the bag to grab the handcuffs keys to find I had forgot it, but no big deal they were “bedroom” handcuffs so there is a safety release, well unfortunately my dumbass actually grabbed the real handcuffs I had, needless to say I had to call the police department who eventually called the fire department and they had to cut her free, needless to say about 15 small town volunteer call firefighters showed up to free her.
2. I wrote SLUT across my wife’s forehead and slap here across her tits, too bad it was with permanent marker, I had to make a run to the store to grab alcohol to get it off her which then left her skin all blotchy and red.
And someway she still marrried me
JerseyJade
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It was after school and no one was home. My mom was working and my brothers were still in school, so I told my then bf it was okay to come over. We went up to my room and started making out. While I was giving him a bj, my mom came home unexpectedly. Neither him or I heard her come up the stairs or saw her looking into my room, but she did see us because the door wasn't closed all the way. She didn't say a word or try to stop us. Instead she went back downstairs and stayed in the kitchen. When my then ex bf and I came back downstairs, needless to say we were shocked to see her working in the kitchen. She gave both of us an evil glare and then he left. Later that night, my mom gave me the talk and told me never to bring a guy to the house without her being home again. Even though I felt embarrassed by what she saw, she was pretty cool about it. I was a lot more careful after that, though.
TheLM
Drew
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I just had a flashback, brother
IUDs are simultaneously wonderful and terrible.
Yiiiiikes
o2baPrince
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subscribed....
too busy reading other stories to post right now.....
too busy reading other stories to post right now.....
Isevil1976
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Was having sex with my wife in our backyard on a chilly night, completely forgot to turn off the lawn sprinklers, wouldn’t have been too bad on a warm summers night but it sucked on a 45 degree night.
Two quickees...
This is a fun thread, and off the top of my head, I have a couple...
1) Being young and zealous, I had just met a girl I had been talking to online for about 2 years. As soon as we got to my room, we started in. Being young and energetic, we tried a few things- she blew me, I ate her, we fucked, and then she asked if I wanted to try anal. I said sure, and couldn't find any lube....let's just say we both found out shower gel works better than KY, as I flew fully into her causing her to clench and trap me....still to this day we crack up at the mention of shower gel...
2) In High school , I was with the same girl from sophmore year to graduation. One day we were going at it in my room, and didn't hear my grandparents get there. Luckily it was my grandfather who walked in. All he did was look in, and close the door. It wasn't until we heard my grandmother yelling "Well is he home? Is he in his room? What's going on?" All he said was "Yes he's here and will be down in a minute." Thankfully he never brought it up.
This is a fun thread, and off the top of my head, I have a couple...
1) Being young and zealous, I had just met a girl I had been talking to online for about 2 years. As soon as we got to my room, we started in. Being young and energetic, we tried a few things- she blew me, I ate her, we fucked, and then she asked if I wanted to try anal. I said sure, and couldn't find any lube....let's just say we both found out shower gel works better than KY, as I flew fully into her causing her to clench and trap me....still to this day we crack up at the mention of shower gel...
2) In High school , I was with the same girl from sophmore year to graduation. One day we were going at it in my room, and didn't hear my grandparents get there. Luckily it was my grandfather who walked in. All he did was look in, and close the door. It wasn't until we heard my grandmother yelling "Well is he home? Is he in his room? What's going on?" All he said was "Yes he's here and will be down in a minute." Thankfully he never brought it up.
o2baPrince
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He knew you'd be done in no time..
Poetdontknowit
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This is a fun thread
******
******
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The first time making out with new girl. I had recently sneaked out of the room to fart. And I am worried if I can hold it the duration of sex. I am going down on her and she is on her ninth orgasm screaming she never had more then three in her life. All the sudden she lets one rip. We start fucking, she is going you are too big I can't hold my gas. I just started banging her. She turned into a rag doll.
I was proud of myself.
And now I can fart.
I was proud of myself.
And now I can fart.
cyberking001
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Not really all that crazy ... my then-wife and I were having good sex
on our bed in the bedroom, and suddenly I felt as if we were being
watched. I looked up to see if either of our two small kids was at the
door, but the door was closed. That is when I looked down and saw
our dog ... he was sitting on the floor, with his chin resting on the
bed, his eyes were wide and he was just staring. I often wonder to
this day what the dog might have been thinking ... perhaps he was
hoping that we would try it doggy style
on our bed in the bedroom, and suddenly I felt as if we were being
watched. I looked up to see if either of our two small kids was at the
door, but the door was closed. That is when I looked down and saw
our dog ... he was sitting on the floor, with his chin resting on the
bed, his eyes were wide and he was just staring. I often wonder to
this day what the dog might have been thinking ... perhaps he was
hoping that we would try it doggy style
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