Dealing with a Clingy...
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subwannabe
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Why do you have to deal with him at all? Just tell him to go jump in a lake.
GiggLeGasm
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If you truly want to rid yourself of this unwanted third, let your SO know that you're having a bit of difficulty. Be frank about what the unwanted has told you and explain your feelings about it. Unless you invited this other man into your bed by yourself, this isn't something you should deal with by yourself.
fire_breeze
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I hate to say it, but if you were clear in telling him to stay away, then he is stalking and harassing you and it is no longer a minor annoyance. And this needs to be brought to a full stop or else he will not leave you alone.
Tell him, in no uncertain terms, that he needs to cease all contact and all communications with you and your husband. If he sends something, return it unopened. If he is in your office building, have security escort him out. Do not return text messages, unfriend him on Facebook, de-follow him on Twitter, do not answer any calls. And keep a record of everything he does after you told him to stay the fuck away. Because there may need to come a time when you need to get a restraining order. And yes, the cops have heard all this before and they won't care.
And above all, never ever feel sorry or apologise for standing your ground.
Setanta84
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Call him up and falsely inform you are doing the courtesy of informing him you and your SO have just come back positive for HIV and he should get tested immediately and also abstain from sex during the possible incubation period--1 year. That should do the trick.
Hypoxia
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That was my immediate reaction -- get serious, no pussyfooting, just do it.
Cute, but in the OP's local legal system, it may be counterproductive. The slimebag *could* file suit to recover unnecessary medical expenses and whatever.
ShelbyBubbles
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ooooh what a horrible situation and I'm sorry you have to deal with the likes of someone like him. A restraining order may be needed but my only concern about that is that if he truly wants to stalk you then a restraining order won't do much help. But definitely get one if you think it may help, even temporarily. One thing I would do is tell every person I know about him, name...where he lives...where he works (if you know). I'd spread his name as thin as it can go and I'd make damn sure he knows that people are now aware of him and may be watching him as well. If I felt like he was really going to stalk me and become troublesome I may even make a flyer with his picture on it and the caption underneath "(Name Here)...are you ready to stop stalking me?", or something to that effect, and hand it to him....tell him that you will post them everywhere he goes if he doesn't back the fuck off.
Sammael Bard
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I know these types. A bunch of girlfrien-cum-wife stealer wannabes, and nothing else. They think they're god's gift to womankind.
If I were you, I'd be wary of these type. An obsessive mindset isn't something you should take lightly.
Meet him at an open place (say a cafe), and explain in a stern voice that you don't like him at all. If he whines, raise your voice. He daren't do anything in public. Threaten him with a restraining order. Don't give him the time to think. Be the one in control. Don't hesitate while talking with him.
All the best....
If I were you, I'd be wary of these type. An obsessive mindset isn't something you should take lightly.
Meet him at an open place (say a cafe), and explain in a stern voice that you don't like him at all. If he whines, raise your voice. He daren't do anything in public. Threaten him with a restraining order. Don't give him the time to think. Be the one in control. Don't hesitate while talking with him.
All the best....
J
JAMESBJOHNSON
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^^^^^Caesar's wife.
Devilius
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J
JAMESBJOHNSON
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Go fuck yourself, sissy.
boomer177
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Speak to a lawyer.
Devilius
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Dave_Loves_Puss
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After all, a "better person" always stalks someone in another relationship. You might want to enroll in some self defense courses as well to learn how to put this guy down if he tries anything. But first, just tell him to go and stay away, that he has gone too far and crossed a line that he should not have. Find a good friend to walk home with if you have one. That itself could prevent disaster.
lovecraft68
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This is one of those threads that should be shown to all the people that come to the how to forum saying "I want a threesome, my wife does not, how can I convince her, I really, really, really want one!"
Of course they do because they only know the sexy lit story or porn version.
This is the realistic downside to these situations.
I'm not sure if the OP is open about her sex life at work, but if not hopefully this guy does not start blabbing all over the place about what you and your husband do...
Another realistic little speed bump in what is always portrayed as so smooth and sexy...
Don't get me wrong, it works out well many times and for many people, but things like this are a reminder that particular game does have its risks.
Of course they do because they only know the sexy lit story or porn version.
This is the realistic downside to these situations.
I'm not sure if the OP is open about her sex life at work, but if not hopefully this guy does not start blabbing all over the place about what you and your husband do...
Another realistic little speed bump in what is always portrayed as so smooth and sexy...
Don't get me wrong, it works out well many times and for many people, but things like this are a reminder that particular game does have its risks.
Last edited:
BertrandRussell
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IMHO, this is a HUGE mistake.
First, your SO may assume that you think that he can't do anything about it. Even if it is true, he will still be insulted that you thought it. Let him tell you that he can't.
Second, if he does find out, there will always be a lingering doubt in his mind - maybe you didn't tell him because you were thinking of hooking up with the other guy but then changed your mind.
Tell him now.
J
JAMESBJOHNSON
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The OP's story smells like fresh warthog shit.
Sammael Bard
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Read post #17.
That goes for every single one of your posts, Jimbo.
