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Why do we like being submissive?

LanguageOfLove said:
I like your reply. Its all kind of natural to me to be submissive, to totally let go and trust that the person with my whole mind, body and soul. Its a very intimate and special moment to do that with someone. To commit totally to someone else. But in a way, I have to be in control in order to be able to let go, if that makes sense.
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It sure does!

But you know, if I break it down to just the physical...I worked sort of the opposite. For instance, for years I swore up and down that I could never have a g-spot O, heck, even penetrative was an elusive thing most time. Turns out I couldn't because I was focused so hard on trying to enjoy sex. When I found a partner who knew to and how to strip away all that noise in my head...WOW!
 
shezaqt said:
It sure does!

But you know, if I break it down to just the physical...I worked sort of the opposite. For instance, for years I swore up and down that I could never have a g-spot O, heck, even penetrative was an elusive thing most time. Turns out I couldn't because I was focused so hard on trying to enjoy sex. When I found a partner who knew to and how to strip away all that noise in my head...WOW!
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Even me, however its with the same person, just rekindling our romance and finding what we were missing our whole marriage. When you let go and try new things its not just sex, its so much more, and you get so much more out of it.
 
LanguageOfLove said:
Even me, however its with the same person, just rekindling our romance and finding what we were missing our whole marriage. When you let go and try new things its not just sex, its so much more, and you get so much more out of it.
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I kinda love this. It's too rare that couples find a renewed sense of awareness and interest in their long term partner. Good for you both! 💕
 
Why do I like it (being submissive)?

catscreech said:
I, personally, am not above self degradation. Often times, I'm content in calling myself worthless, trash, disgusting and alike. It's always been like that, really. Even when I try to act strong in a physical sense, iy's hardly the reality. To me, submission is me relinquishing my control- being content with the way I am and letting someone play with my insecurities. It's also letting someone else play with me physically as a biological woman. I was never one forexposing myself and I usually wear baggy, casual clothes like t-shirts and alike. I've never been fondled and the thought of it arouses me. I've even had identity crisis in my lifetime in regards to me being female.

Someone playing with those aspects of me puts me in my place and reassures me of my security.

But the turn on for me isn't the playing- it's the bondage. The feeling of restriction is a wonderful thing to me.
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I feel quite similar about self degradation and submission. I don't know though if it started this way (in my case). One of the first erotic fantasies I remember having had was being shit in my mouth by one specific lady in the neighborhood, and my guts tell me it had much to do with her (/her family) being Roman Catholic, whereas "we" (our family) were Protestant, with one of 'our' serious truisms being that Catholicism was very, very wrong (although I didn't have a clue why that would be so, of course), which seems to have rendered this lady most intriguing to me. (I was raised to be as obedient as possible, the reason being that this was considered very good, and, supposedly, my 'true nature'.) And although this fascination receded largely for many years, it never went away, and has intensified quite strongly over the past few years -coinciding with the breakup with my former gf.

Today, the idea of humbly confessing, in private, to a woman that I am (despite deceptively convincing appearances) really a thoroughbred loser on the inside, yearning to be accepted as such, and hoping for an opportunity to fully experience my true, inferior nature, even if only briefly. To kneel for her, to kiss her feet, expressing my gratitude for her generosity to witness my sad, pathetic nature, the redemption being that she'd mercifully offer me the opportunity to accept the obvious and inevitable: licking a woman's unwiped ass spotless. "It's OK Mike. I always knew you're a loser. But you needed to find that out for yourself. I alwas knew you'd one day lick my ass. I've been waiting for this moment for years, Mike. Welcome home." I'd even feel proud for her trust in my ability to suffer the disgusting taste and the humiliation, and my willingness to freely submit to it.

As a sidenote: Even though in reality I don't look down on my fetish anymore today (in fact, I find the feelings of pleasure I experience because of it, incomparably intense), it doesn't seem to be very helpful in connecting with 'unsuspecting' women: It is almost always on my mind, but one doesn't really want to mention this right away, right?

Mike.
 
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I'm definitely not a true sub, but when I'm feeling submissive, I just enjoy the part of not having to think, plan, or do anything except experience and enjoy.
 
I don't think this is necessarily exclusively a dominant characteristic, but I like that my Daddy is very much an initiator. Not that I can't, or don't, but I like that he does. I more than like it, i need it. He comes to say good morning, he checks on me throughout the day, he comes to tuck me in at night. He makes it a point to stay in the loop with the things that are important to me - friends, family, work, etc. He's very involved with my mental health care: am I taking my pills? Getting enought sleep? Eating, showering, etc.

In these areas, my submission takes the form of releasing some of my anxiety, worry, and doubt to him, to let him help me carry those concerns, and to be open to receive his praise, affection, and encouragement. Knowing that he's there, knowing that he cares for me and that he's choosing to be actively involved in my life makes me feel safe, valued, wanted. He provides a stability and security that frees up some of my energy to focus on more pleasurable things, like being fun, and funny, and creative, and social, and sexy!

Being submissive in this way, with this person, is a good thing, for both of us.

And I think he would agree. :) 💜💜
 
Wild_Honey_66 said:
I don't think this is necessarily exclusively a dominant characteristic, but I like that my Daddy is very much an initiator. Not that I can't, or don't, but I like that he does. I more than like it, i need it. He comes to say good morning, he checks on me throughout the day, he comes to tuck me in at night. He makes it a point to stay in the loop with the things that are important to me - friends, family, work, etc. He's very involved with my mental health care: am I taking my pills? Getting enought sleep? Eating, showering, etc.

In these areas, my submission takes the form of releasing some of my anxiety, worry, and doubt to him, to let him help me carry those concerns, and to be open to receive his praise, affection, and encouragement. Knowing that he's there, knowing that he cares for me and that he's choosing to be actively involved in my life makes me feel safe, valued, wanted. He provides a stability and security that frees up some of my energy to focus on more pleasurable things, like being fun, and funny, and creative, and social, and sexy!

Being submissive in this way, with this person, is a good thing, for both of us.

And I think he would agree. :) 💜💜
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Nice way of putting it....Sounds like he's really there for you in all of the important ways. I'd like to think my husband shares a little bit of that, he reminds me to take my medicine, to make sure I get enough sleep, to make sure to tell me he loves me. I know we have this strong connection, I'm there for him, he's there for me.

He's not really dominant, but in small ways he is....that's my favorite part.
 
LanguageOfLove said:
Nice way of putting it...Sounds like he's really there for you in all of the important ways. I'd like to think my husband shares a little bit of that, he reminds me to take my medicine, to make sure I get enough sleep, to make sure to tell me he loves me. I know we have this strong connection, I'm there for him, he's there for me.

He's not really dominant, but in small ways he is....that's my favorite part.
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I get that! My Daddy doesn't ID as dominant, but I see it pop up now and then, usually in subtle, quiet ways, which is why I think we don't notice it most of the time.

But I tell you what - once in a while he will come right out and tell me something, or ask me a question in his 'I mean business' voice, and I remember right quick that he is the D.

I always enjoy those little reminders. They make me blush and tingle and break out in a cold sweat and grin happily to myself.

And then I want to fuck. :eek:
 
Wild_Honey_66 said:
I get that! My Daddy doesn't ID as dominant, but I see it pop up now and then, usually in subtle, quiet ways, which is why I think we don't notice it most of the time.

But I tell you what - once in a while he will come right out and tell me something, or ask me a question in his 'I mean business' voice, and I remember right quick that he is the D.

I always enjoy those little reminders. They make me blush and tingle and break out in a cold sweat and grin happily to myself.

And then I want to fuck. :eek:
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I get what you're saying as well! I'm learning more about submissiveness and the variations of dominance, which for my husband is very low, but like you said, its the small things... :)

I've been on this journey of mine, trying to find a balance for the past few months as we rekindle our romance....its been a wonderful journey of that exploration!
 
LanguageOfLove said:
I get what you're saying as well! I'm learning more about submissiveness and the variations of dominance, which for my husband is very low, but like you said, its the small things... :)

I've been on this journey of mine, trying to find a balance for the past few months as we rekindle our romance....its been a wonderful journey of that exploration!
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Happy news indeed!:rose:
 
Maybe I'm posting in the wrong "category". If so kindly excuse me and advise me so. After reading so many varied responses to the question/topic of this thread it occurs to me that I am "just wired that way." I have always thrilled at being "caught" naked or masturbating but I also thrill at the prospect of a dominant woman ordering me to strip for her viewing pleasure. Maybe I'm just an exhibitionist but I feel there is more to me than that. I delight in the fantasy of being directed to slowly strip for a clothed, dominant woman. That, followed by her direction to assume a worshipful position at her feet. I have always given over to the desire to please whatever woman I might be with to the extent that my own "release" may be completely excluded from our session. My naked submission at a woman's feet with the opportunity to worship her pampered feet stirs me greatly. Being naked at a clothed woman's feet and collared and leashed by her is too much! I know that a submissive's pleasure is secondary to the pleasure given to the domme but inside, such servitude just thrills me. Although it isn't necessary that I am allowed to cum, IF directed to stand naked before her and pleasure myself to orgasm by a mistress, there would be no hesitation. But, I also have a history of exhibitionism.
 
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Makes perfect sense to me...

rds_muskrat said:
Maybe I'm posting in the wrong "category". If so kindly excuse me and advise me so. After reading so many varied responses to the question/topic of this thread it occurs to me that I am "just wired that way." I have always thrilled at being "caught" naked or masturbating but I also thrill at the prospect of a dominant woman ordering me to strip for her viewing pleasure. Maybe I'm just an exhibitionist but I feel there is more to me than that. I delight in the fantasy of being directed to slowly strip for a clothed, dominant woman. That, followed by her direction to assume a worshipful position at her feet. I have always given over to the desire to please whatever woman I might be with to the extent that my own "release" may be completely excluded from our session. My naked submission at a woman's feet with the opportunity to worship her pampered feet stirs me greatly. Being naked at a clothed woman's feet and collared and leashed by her is too much! I know that a submissive's pleasure is secondary to the pleasure given to the domme but inside, such servitude just thrills me. Although it isn't necessary that I am allowed to cum, IF directed to stand naked before her and pleasure myself to orgasm by a mistress, there would be no hesitation. But, I also have a history of exhibitionism.
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A nice lady in bra and panties; who wouldn't be excited?
 
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I like being submissive because this is so out of character for me. Since I'm normally the one in control and the one calling the shots, it feels very liberating to just surrender and to do whatever I'm told, knowing I'm going to be taken out of my comfort zone and made to perform very humiliating acts for the sexual gratification of others. It's the demeaning nature of my obedient behavior that is so thrilling and exciting to me.
 
sterculius said:
I like being submissive because this is so out of character for me. Since I'm normally the one in control and the one calling the shots, it feels very liberating to just surrender and to do whatever I'm told, knowing I'm going to be taken out of my comfort zone and made to perform very humiliating acts for the sexual gratification of others. It's the demeaning nature of my obedient behavior that is so thrilling and exciting to me.
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Yes, partly this for me, too. It's so nice to give up that control.
 
SalvDali said:
I asked my wife this question when we started this journey. After pondering it for a few minutes she said " You know how people always say life was easier when they were a child and their parents made all their decisions for them. It's the same thing to me. "

Made sense to me. Even more so when I looked at my wife and our life through those eyes. She had always looked to me to make big decisions. She had almost always done what i wanted over what she wanted. It wasnt really going to change the dynamics between us so much as just add to them.
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Your wife is only living in your shadow. That is not fair to her or you. What if were in a car accident and suddenly disabled?
 
Thinking on that..

I travel with a widow, mom of 6. We have been all over, x3 to Europe, all over USA.
She is a competent, capable, experienced lady. She is NOT needy. But when we go, I figger the room and have an idea of what to see and where to eat. I dont really care about food that much , and I always ask her if she likes that place or not.

But, she has told me repeatedly that she appreciates that I figger out the travel. Of course I am paying for it. Maybe she worked so hard raising 6 good kids, and then watching her hubs die of CA, that she wants to relax when she travels. I dont call it submissive, as she isnt, and I wouldnt treat her that way.

She is smart, experienced, wise, and kind. I dont see this in any way as treating her as a sub. But once in bed, when first we met, and sex was established, she said she was submissive. Maybe in sex, but thats sure not the whole deal, is it?
 
I realized I was more of bottom than a top in my 20s and prefer it now. My partner is a big, strong man but understands tenderness, and our sex life reflects that.
 
Female Domination

I believe in the 21st-century that women need to dominate and take charge and turn the world into a better place. Using physical discipline and strap on play is superior woman can retrain her make under her subjugation
 
Bi_Siamese said:
I believe in the 21st-century that women need to dominate and take charge and turn the world into a better place. Using physical discipline and strap on play is superior woman can retrain her make under her subjugation
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And men need to start respecting women as equals. Or less if it's required:)
 
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