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Can you fall in love with someone online?

This discussion is still going on? I thought that it was already determined feelings for someone online were completely rubbish!!!! No way this can happen!

I will say this, once again in my defense of online love. I think you can absolutely fall in love here. Is it harder to trust someone? I think so. I've been guilty of not revealing things myself. But I think when you let go, in many ways it can be more intimate. But you better trust the fucker you love. Because it takes a lot to trust.
 
jameslewis said:
People need, and want; they crave intimacy and connection. So we let ourselves build a fantasy world around someone we think is giving us what we need and crave. We let ourselves live in that world, feeling happy. Until the day Reality comes a calling "Wake Up!" and kicks us in the nuts to make sure we get the message. And continues to kick now and then, until it gets bored or tired, or until we get numb from the repeated kicks. And after a while, when the pain goes away we start letting the fantasies come back.
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This sounds familiar. No matter how far away, what you share, and your circumstances, no matter if you both tell each other it's a fantasy, when craving an intimacy, a connection...it can be found.

But if and when that reality wake up call slams you in the face, and after time the pain starts to ebb, and those cravings resurface or memories gnaw away at your resolve, surely you ask yourself if you really could go there again?
 
When two people meet and make a connection.. anything is possible. From my limited experience on the matter... I will say that it is hard enough for relationships to work in real life... Finding a special someone who just connects and knows you inside and out, as well as cherishes you, is rare online.

It's the shiny new toy phase...filled with fun conversations of wants and desires..but once it's over usually reality sets in.

For those of you who have it.. it is truly rare to meet someone and realize they are worth your time, energy and your honesty. So hold on tight!

I'm not saying it can't be done..just saying it is extremely rare.
 
No. My solipsistic opinion is that love doesn't exist. However, I imagine love online is just like everything else online, a simulacrum of the real thing.
 
beliabelle said:
... Finding a special someone who just connects and knows you inside and out, well as cherishes you, is rare online.

For those of you who have it.. it is truly rare to meet someone and realize they are worth your time, energy and your honesty. So hold on tight!

I'm not saying it can't be done..just saying it is extremely rare.
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Is is extremely rare, I agree on that....the passion of the first steps usually fades away as quick as the intensity it came with.
If the connexion stays strong past these few electric moments...it gets stronger and wiser, and becomes to look like love. .. Not a conventional love of course, more like sentiment of accomplishment....packed in warm waves.

We all have gotten our little bruises from life or had wishes we never really accomplished.
Online relationships open new doors, it's more ethereal, sometimes weird, sometimes frustrating, but if you find the right mate it lifts you to another level.

That's why it is so rare, and has to be cherished when it happens.
 
Sorry, no, you can meet someone and think you might love them online, but you need to meet them for real for real to be sure :)
 
_Lorelei_ said:
Sorry, no, you can meet someone and think you might love them online, but you need to meet them for real for real to be sure :)
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I love many artists that I have not met, and will never meet (some are dead anyway) :)
I love to watch a clear sky at night and watch constellation of stars...I will never touch them or travel there...

I think there is a semantic dimension in the "falling in love" facts this thread is talking about.
Love have many sides to enjoy and ways to follow ....in my opinion...online relationship can fit in there.
 
I feel like I could write a treatise on this subject.
 
_Lorelei_ said:
Sorry, no, you can meet someone and think you might love them online, but you need to meet them for real for real to be sure :)
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Or you can ruin what you have with meeting. The first time I met my wife in the real world, she was not impressed because she felt I was being to stand off ish. A lifetime of being British I guess. Thankfully, that stopped the second the apartment door closed.

We only left the bed to eat for three of the four days we were together that first meeting (did the Nigeria falls tourist thing the other day so she had stuff to take back).
 
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beliabelle said:
......
It's the shiny new toy phase...filled with fun conversations of wants and desires..but once it's over usually reality sets in.
......
For those of you who have it.. it is truly rare to meet someone and realize they are worth your time, energy and your honesty. So hold on tight! .
Click to expand...
This happens all too easily. Something new, exciting, shinier... And at least one of you behaves like an excitable puppy, all fun and eager to please. Bouncy is nice.

But even very pleasant distractions and intense interactions can suddenly end. Sudden disappearances are a real slap in the face. No discussion, goodbyes, no knowing what has gone on the the other person's life or what went wrong. You can try and hold tight, but you have to be prepared to let them go.
 
Neajan said:
I love many artists that I have not met, and will never meet (some are dead anyway) :)
I love to watch a clear sky at night and watch constellation of stars...I will never touch them or travel there...

I think there is a semantic dimension in the "falling in love" facts this thread is talking about.
Love have many sides to enjoy and ways to follow ....in my opinion...online relationship can fit in there.
Click to expand...

I hear you on the semantic dimension. But perfect example here:

Would you fall in love with a picture of a constellation of stars you saw online, or even a video of them?
Or would you have to witness them for real? I don't think even touching or travelling to someone/thing is really what matters either - it's about seeing how a person really is face-to-face and about spending real time with them.
 
Bitesback said:
This happens all too easily. Something new, exciting, shinier... And at least one of you behaves like an excitable puppy, all fun and eager to please. Bouncy is nice.

But even very pleasant distractions and intense interactions can suddenly end. Sudden disappearances are a real slap in the face. No discussion, goodbyes, no knowing what has gone on the the other person's life or what went wrong. You can try and hold tight, but you have to be prepared to let them go.
Click to expand...

Of course, i didn't mean to imply that they should continue to hold on even when the relationship is over. It was more...hold on tight to appreciate the relationship one is in.

:)
 
Well... I dunno about anyone else, but ... I feel a cloud of depression forming over me now, after reading here... Bouncing out.
*sigh*
 
I think it's all too possible to "fall in love with someone online" because it's a very, very possible to fall in love with one's own ideals.

So often, before we meet someone face to face, we "fall in love" with them not because of who they are, but because of who we want them to be.

Many cyber-first relationships are real and powerful and pack one hell of an emotional punch, but more often than not, one or both of the participants are projecting their own desires of "perfection" onto the other.

Like Lorelei and others have said, actually meeting the cyber-object of their affections has more often than not proven to be a disappointment. But the real question is, is that because of the other person mis-represented themself or is it because our own desires for that "perfect someone" got in the way?

The internet, like life itself, rarely gives us what we think we want. It gives us what we seek out regardless of whether it is "good" or "bad" for us.
 
Anecdata

Friend of mine met a someone while on business interstate. They clicked. Day or so later, they each went home. They spent HOURS on the phone, every night, for MONTHS. Monumental phone bills! They discussed all sorts of things, in intimate detail, and some time later got married.

When they actually started living together, it was hard, VERY hard, as even after all that time talking so intimately, they still had little appreciation for what the other person was like to actually be with, for extended periods.

The marriage has lasted a couple of decades or more now, so it was not a disaster, but it does show that to know a person, you need to spend lots of time in that person's presence. Even their weekends together were not sufficient to identify the problems, it seems.
 
NaughtyinVegas said:
I think it's all too possible to "fall in love with someone online" because it's a very, very possible to fall in love with one's own ideals.

So often, before we meet someone face to face, we "fall in love" with them not because of who they are, but because of who we want them to be.

Many cyber-first relationships are real and powerful and pack one hell of an emotional punch, but more often than not, one or both of the participants are projecting their own desires of "perfection" onto the other.

Like Lorelei and others have said, actually meeting the cyber-object of their affections has more often than not proven to be a disappointment. But the real question is, is that because of the other person mis-represented themself or is it because our own desires for that "perfect someone" got in the way?

The internet, like life itself, rarely gives us what we think we want. It gives us what we seek out regardless of whether it is "good" or "bad" for us.
Click to expand...

I do agree with all this, for me anyway..

pfflyerhot said:
Well... I dunno about anyone else, but ... I feel a cloud of depression forming over me now, after reading here... Bouncing out.
*sigh*
Click to expand...

..but it can be different for others, it's a very personal thing.
Hope you're okay, everyone's opinion is different and I don't think it can't LEAD to love :)
 
_Lorelei_ said:
I hear you on the semantic dimension. But perfect example here:

Would you fall in love with a picture of a constellation of stars you saw online, or even a video of them?
Or would you have to witness them for real? I don't think even touching or travelling to someone/thing is really what matters either - it's about seeing how a person really is face-to-face and about spending real time with them.
Click to expand...

i can definetly fall in love with a video, if it is artisticly well made with a deep music touching my heart.
I can fall in love with a book, a movie or a piece of music.

I was just trying to say that you can really have deep feelings for someone online, feeling that are close to love.

I also mentiond that those encounters are more than rare.

I understand what you mean by meeting someone and attending to real life...and what you say is true....but in my perspective, my goal is not to live with her, get married and make babies...i have no goal in fact, just going with the flow and enjoying every moments.

I am not trying to make my point at all cost and bring everyone on my point of view ...I was just pointing that, for me at least, love has many paths and shapes...and on rare occasions, online relationships are at this level of trueness and intensity
 
Since I have a little more time, I'll expound on my previously brief statement:

I couldn't fall in love with someone online, but I believe others could.

For me, love is something a little more transcendent than other emotional attachments. There's a lot that approaches it, but I think to describe what I feel as love, that complete human connection, requires a unique definition of the word. I'm not saying I don't go throwing the word "love" around left and right like it means nothing, I love bacon and baguettes as much as the next person. But when it comes down to defining what it is, I have a feeling and experience that I would describe, and it's not an easy thing to duplicate, and I've felt it only with a very few people (two). Could I get that online? No. For me it goes beyond however much time I might be able to spend with someone online. It's the time spent looking into their eyes, the time sitting next to them and feeling their energy, and warmth. It's the smell, the sensory experiences shared. It's the surprise silent hug, where there's nothing but proximity and the feeling that rushes out when it happens.

But, again, that's just me. I've been told I'm different, and maybe I just get more out of it. I believe completely that others can feel a connection online as strong as they can in person, and that's wonderful. Maybe I'm too narrow in my definition, and the falling in love can happen online and all the physical stuff is just a gigantic bonus on the first actual meeting.
 
Fall in love? I'm not sure. Not saying you can't, but it seems like it would be hard. Fall in lust? Definitely. Become completely infatuated? For sure.
 
Amber_Lynne said:
Yes. You can. Anyone who says otherwise is entitled to their opinion but also full of shit.
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Well, not the first time I've been called full of shit, likely not the last. Fortunately, I firmly believe my shit don't stink. :D
 
QSco said:
Since I have a little more time, I'll expound on my previously brief statement:

I couldn't fall in love with someone online, but I believe others could.

For me, love is something a little more transcendent than other emotional attachments. There's a lot that approaches it, but I think to describe what I feel as love, that complete human connection, requires a unique definition of the word. I'm not saying I don't go throwing the word "love" around left and right like it means nothing, I love bacon and baguettes as much as the next person. But when it comes down to defining what it is, I have a feeling and experience that I would describe, and it's not an easy thing to duplicate, and I've felt it only with a very few people (two). Could I get that online? No. For me it goes beyond however much time I might be able to spend with someone online. It's the time spent looking into their eyes, the time sitting next to them and feeling their energy, and warmth. It's the smell, the sensory experiences shared. It's the surprise silent hug, where there's nothing but proximity and the feeling that rushes out when it happens.

But, again, that's just me. I've been told I'm different, and maybe I just get more out of it. I believe completely that others can feel a connection online as strong as they can in person, and that's wonderful. Maybe I'm too narrow in my definition, and the falling in love can happen online and all the physical stuff is just a gigantic bonus on the first actual meeting.
Click to expand...

No shit, sherlock :)
 
Very fascinating to see this thread evolve. What seemed to begin with a more generalized "Is it possible to fall in love online?" has turned into a deeper "Can I personally fall in love online?"

I won't get into the intricacies of "What is love?" (baby don't hurt me), or online versus offline. But for me personally, I wouldn't want to dismiss the potential for love in any situation.
 
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