Just one Line.

"God, don't you read your own shitty sex books?" Mark grunted in disgust. "No wonder they're always in the bargain bins."
 
“If we had seen that John Wayne movie instead, would we be sitting in bed, nearly nude, hands on each other's genitals, basking in the glow of mind-blowing orgasms?”

(From "Sometime Sweet Sheila": internal thoughts of James Heyward, contemplating the aftermath of taking a first date to see a dirty movie instead of "Rio Lobo". Oops … sorry about the spoiler.)

https://www.literotica.com/s/sometime-sweet-sheila
 
“What?” she protested. “If any girl needed to get laid in the history of womankind, it would be you. A couple more years of bad dates and you’ll be surrounded by cats in your lonely apartment wondering what the hell happened.”
 
"She anointed her brow with her silvery wet, and locked the spell of this place into her mind."
 
This is technically one line if your browser window is wide enough, I guess?

I knew she was Muslim and wore hijab and drank lemonade on D&D nights when the rest of us had cider, and that our party of heroes had to get by without her wizard for a month every time Ramadan came around. (She assures me that this is why Gandalf and Dumbledore kept disappearing at inconvenient moments. I am unconvinced.)

Still quite happy with that one.
 
“I get the bitch.” Jaime said. He pulled a gun from his belt and checked the magazine in the glaring light inside the car then looked up at Carlos, “I'm going to fuck her then I'm going to fuck her up.”
 
"Take it off, Bob, and lose the fucking badge, wherever you keep it. I don't fuck men with badges."
 
Gillian settled comfortably into her pilot chair and relished the solitude of deep space.


*******

As I was tying my tie, my bedroom door opened. Turning I was astounded to find my eighteen year old sister, Michelle, standing there naked as the day she was born, her pert breasts exposed for me to see.
 
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“I get the bitch.” Jaime said. He pulled a gun from his belt and checked the magazine in the glaring light inside the car then looked up at Carlos, “I'm going to fuck her then I'm going to fuck her up.”

I'll add that things didn't work out so well for Jaime and Carlos. The "warrior god" is a cougar.

"Away and out of sight, a shadow lifted from the pictured boulder next to Manny's car and took form in the moonlight. The warrior god sniffed the air and focused on Carlos on the trail, then Jaime on the rocks. It moved over the boulders, slowly at first, then with long strides from stone to stone."
 
"If he wants the benefits of being the Earth Maiden, then he will have to wear the attire." I said bluntly.
 
"...anytime an unstable and obnoxious person is not talking to me, I call it a win."
 
Mushy cabbage, bullet-like sprouts with half-charred maggots and singed turkey feathers still adhering to the flesh was an experience I wanted to avoid at all costs.
 
But everyone also knows that there is just nothing in the world sexier than a trickle of blood running down the corner of a pretty vamp’s lips.
 
"You want to fuck with Mad Dog Bellino?” Billy rolled his eyes. “Old dynamite's more stable than that fucker.”
 
"Well Princess," Vance flashed a mischievous knowing grin toward Ophelia's exasperated face," it seems here that you only have two choices. One, you can make love to me. Or two, you can let me fuck you.'

Vance waited as Orphelia's face only grew more flustered. Her throat performed a soft swallow as her widened blue eyes continued to stare at him in disbelief. The slow realization of what he just said read across her expressions.

"B. But,"I she stammered," Th- that's the same thing!"
 
"You heard me, punk.” Abigail locked her eyes onto his. “Asking me what I said when you clearly heard me is a stalling tactic used by the slow witted and spineless.”
 
The entire restaurant saw macho-man assaulting a pretty little Chinese girl, mauling her sweet innocent little breasts. Nobody saw my Vipertek jammed hard against his denim-covered scrotum as I triggered 53,000,000 volts through his balls and dick.
 
Typical example of my very bad humor that I amuse myself with.

"I swore she was staring at my crotch. Nah, that was nuts." :rolleyes:
 
In an upcoming episode:

Claudia watched what suddenly seemed inevitable. She shifted against Manny's shoulder and hissed in his ear, "How much flesh does it take to satisfy a pack of wolf-gods?"
 
In an upcoming episode:

Claudia watched what suddenly seemed inevitable. She shifted against Manny's shoulder and hissed in his ear, "How much flesh does it take to satisfy a pack of wolf-gods?"

"And," she continued. "While we're at it, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?"

Sorry, couldn't resist. And I'm showing my age.:rolleyes:
 
"And," she continued. "While we're at it, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?"

Sorry, couldn't resist. And I'm showing my age.:rolleyes:

I remember that, but the actual next line (in draft) is

"What, wait. I'm supposed to know that?" Manny asked.
 
"You had 'naked chocolate food fight with two girls' on your bucket list?" asked Susan. "Well, yeah. Every guy does."
 
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