The Doctor is: IN

BoyNextDoor · Mar 15, 2018

So I can see that many of you need counseling. Well I have good news - the Doctor is in. I can help. Just post here. Let me get you started:

naughtyassistant: You lost him a long, long time ago. Timing is everything. 12 years? FFS 12 minutes is the difference between life and death. 12 years is an eternity. Move on. Right this very second.

shrek100: Human beings are not meant to be monogamous. That is why your cock has a bell-end. However the shit-fucks among us have convinced the vast majority of us that just the opposite is true. The good news is that all that really matters is that there is trust and honesty between you and your woman. If you cannot be honest with her, say it and move on. But if you even think there is a tiny chance of having her understand, fan that flame and find a place where your polyamory can be shared with her.

bellisarius: What are you compensating for? Your IQ is very nice and does the job. If you want to buy a Ford F-250 just do it.

Debbie: Self-compassion is fine in small doses. But lovecraft68 is right - we are an already isolated anti social self centered society.

Tryharder62 · Mar 15, 2018

Dr BND,

Why do I feel compelled to make a post here?

HisArpy · Mar 15, 2018

Some stranger dog pooped on my lawn... Help?

Captainnumnuts · Mar 15, 2018

Doctor IN. Can you recommend a good Podiatrist?

OldJourno · Mar 15, 2018

Can you recommend a good podiatrist with one arm and a parakeet fetish?

AlotLikePsyche · Mar 15, 2018

Stop interrupting me.

Captainnumnuts · Mar 15, 2018

AlotLikePsyche said:
Stop interrupting me.

You tell'em! The Isolated Blurt thread is somewhere over there>>>>

HisArpy · Mar 15, 2018

Captainnumnuts said:
You tell'em! The Isolated Blurt thread is somewhere over there>>>>

<--- Last I saw it, it was over there. But it tends to move around a lot so you could be right.

BoyNextDoor · Mar 15, 2018

Tryharder62 said:
Dr BND,

Why do I feel compelled to make a post here?

Try - you know that I will answer honestly.

BoyNextDoor · Mar 15, 2018

HisArpy said:
Some stranger dog pooped on my lawn... Help?

This is the biggest crime in suburbia. There is only one strike.

You should shovel it up and fling the poo back into their yard.

lylalala · Mar 17, 2018

Hey Doc. Do you make house calls? Also, will you accept cock sucking as payment?
I’ve got a lot to work through.

rae121452 · Mar 17, 2018

Dear Doctor
The Rolling Stones

Oh help me, please doctor, I'm damaged
There's a pain where there once was a heart
It's sleepin, it's a beatin'
Can't ya please tear it out, and preserve it
Right there in that jar?

Oh help me, please mama, I'm sick'ning
It's today that's the day of the plunge
Oh the gal I'm to marry
Is a bow-legged sow
I've been soakin' up drink like a sponge

"Don't ya worry, get dressed," cried my mother
As she plied me with bourbon so sour
Pull your socks up, put your suit on
Comb your long hair down,
For you will be wed in the hour

So help me, please doctor, I'm damaged
There's a pain where there once was a heart
I'm sleepin, it's a beatin'
Can't ya please take it out, and preserve it
Right there in that jar?

Oh help me, please doctor, I'm damaged
There's a pain where there once was a heart
It's sleepin, it's a beatin'
Can't ya please tear it out, and preserve it
Right there in that jar?

I was tremblin', as I put on my jacket
It had creases as sharp as a knife
I put the ring in my pocket
But there was a note
And my heart it jumped into my mouth

It read, "Darlin', I'm sorry to hurt you.
But I have no courage to speak to your face.
But I'm down in Virginia with your cousin Lou
There be no wedding today."

So help me, please doctor, I'm damaged
You can put back my heart in its hole
Oh mama, I'm cryin'
Tears of relief
And my pulse is now under control

toeskr · Mar 18, 2018

Tryharder62 said:
Dr BND,

Why do I feel compelled to make a post here?

He needs medical help, probably mental as well.

Captainnumnuts · Mar 20, 2018

Doctor, doctor! Give me the news!

Antryg_Windrose · Apr 22, 2018

Ooh, eee, ooh ah ah; ting, tang, walla-walla bing bang.

RobDownSouth · Apr 22, 2018

Antryg_Windrose said:
Ooh, eee, ooh ah ah; ting, tang, walla-walla bing bang.

Debbie · Apr 22, 2018

Dr can you help me? When I get mad I flatulate.

Do I need to change my diet or lifestyle?

Thanks

Antryg_Windrose · Apr 22, 2018

Put the lime in the coconut; shake them both up.

BoyNextDoor · Apr 24, 2018

Debbie said:
Dr can you help me? When I get mad I flatulate.

Do I need to change my diet or lifestyle?

Thanks

Flatulence is a natural bodily function and it is unhealthy to suppress bodily functions. If anger is the source you should smoke a fattie and let the anger float away as you contemplate the sunset.

Or else, count to 10.

BoyNextDoor · Apr 24, 2018

Rainshine said:
I think the Doctor needs a new receptionist. The patients are backing up and the doctor is mostly a no-show.

The Doctor is accepting applications.

thør · Apr 24, 2018

BoyNextDoor · Apr 24, 2018

Antryg_Windrose said:
Put the lime in the coconut; shake them both up.

There is nothing you can take to relieve your bellyache.

pink · Apr 24, 2018

Best thread in a long time.

One of my meds causes gas so Debbie are in the same boat.

Debbie, when I'm really mad, I throw books.

I went to the ortho and got my left knee shot. I limp like an old laydee. Other than that, I'm pretty good.

You can comment on all or none, Doc.

Antryg_Windrose · Apr 24, 2018

The doctor said, "Give him jug band music; it seems to make him feel just fine."

ThatsTheGuy · Apr 24, 2018

oops.

The Doctor is: IN

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