Go Back   Literotica Discussion Board > Main Literotica Forums > How To...

View Poll Results: should i have a real conversation first with her?
yes you should first converse/ chat with to get to know her 6 66.67%
no need since she's already crazy about you 3 33.33%
Voters: 9. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools

Old 07-15-2018, 08:50 AM   #1
carnal47
Really Experienced
 
carnal47's Avatar
 
carnal47 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Swindon, UK
Posts: 113
Do I still have to have a real conversation with her?

Even if a girl is very into me and crazy about me, do i still have to have a real conversation with her (getting to know each other) before asking her out? i mean i don't mind I'm just asking for the girl's sake so that she doesn't get offended or find it inappropriate anything. She gets really happy when i look at or smile at her. Also when I talk to her asking if she needs help with something, or asking her something important (she works as a personal trainer at my gym). Or even if she's not showing interest and I catch her by surprise of guard like if I surprise her when i walk up to her and ask if she's using a machine or something like that. I even caught her looking at me many times and when i did she freaked out if that helps.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-15-2018, 09:07 AM   #2
NightL
smoke'n'mirrors
 
NightL's Avatar
 
NightL is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,777
you come across as full of yourself and just a touch creepy - do her a massive favour and leave her alone.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-15-2018, 09:32 AM   #3
carnal47
Really Experienced
 
carnal47's Avatar
 
carnal47 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Swindon, UK
Posts: 113
Quote:
Originally Posted by NightL View Post
you come across as full of yourself and just a touch creepy - do her a massive favour and leave her alone.
okay you basically got an attitude problem due to which you seem like the real creep so im just gonna ignore that before this could escalate further...im not asking for anyone's judgement here. Just answer to the question above
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-15-2018, 11:26 AM   #4
TarnishedPenny
Literotica Guru
 
TarnishedPenny's Avatar
 
TarnishedPenny is offline
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 692
Talk costs nothing but a minute, risks nothing but your pride and helps ensure you are both on the same song-sheet. If she's as you say a trainer, even asking her how to set a machine will give her the chance to engage more with you.

And the dance begins...
__________________
.
Je suis de mon coeur le vampire - un de ces grands abandonnés au rire éternel condamnés et qui ne peuvent plus sourire.

My stories: https://www.literotica.com/stories/m...ge=submissions

My latest: https://www.literotica.com/s/the-jenny-show
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-15-2018, 12:23 PM   #5
carnal47
Really Experienced
 
carnal47's Avatar
 
carnal47 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Swindon, UK
Posts: 113
Quote:
Originally Posted by TarnishedPenny View Post
Talk costs nothing but a minute, risks nothing but your pride and helps ensure you are both on the same song-sheet. If she's as you say a trainer, even asking her how to set a machine will give her the chance to engage more with you.

And the dance begins...
but don't ask her out straight away after just one convo right?
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-15-2018, 03:15 PM   #6
JaneyDoe56
Virgin
 
JaneyDoe56 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 13
I think you would fit in nicely on The Playground. They really appreciate men like you.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-15-2018, 03:20 PM   #7
carnal47
Really Experienced
 
carnal47's Avatar
 
carnal47 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Swindon, UK
Posts: 113
Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneyDoe56 View Post
I think you would fit in nicely on The Playground. They really appreciate men like you.
what do you mean?
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-15-2018, 06:55 PM   #8
PuckIt
Literotica Guru
 
PuckIt's Avatar
 
PuckIt is offline
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 817
"Do I still have to have a real conversation with her?"

Honestly, big un, that phrase right there gave me pause. I can't speak for anyone else, but it took me a minute to get past that "have to have" to actually read and parse the real question. I'm reasonably sure that you meant it differently. But, it came across as "I don't want to waste time talking but take her out to get her drunk so I can get in her panties." And my first thought at first glance was, "um, usually there is some conversation involved on a date... unless you slip her a mickey finn..."

However. quite often our word choices, even when we think we meant something different, give away our true agenda. I mean, think about it for a moment. WHAT exactly is the hurry to get her to go on a date? What do you feel is different about being on a date as opposed to just speaking with her there and then? What different outcome are you hoping for from a date that you don't think would happen if you spoke to her at your gym?

Any road, for whatever it's worth, my general rule of thumb was that if I felt any rush at all getting involved with someone, then I tended to question just why I wanted to get involved with them in the first place. And more often than not, if I found myself using phrases like "have to," I tended to pause and do exactly that.


In this particular case, that would mean that if I were the one facing the conundrum of whether I "have to" talk to her more before asking for that date, I would definitely make it a point to try to talk to her some more.

*shrug*

Just the two cents of an old fart with more than a few scars from "the battle of the sexes" over the past several decades.
__________________


I'm not clumsy. It's just the floor hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way!

>> According to Little One, just another old coot giving advice. It's probably bad advice, but it's free.

>>My semi-literate drivel

>>Feel free to tell me how to go about giving a fuck (or reading what others smarter than I say about it if you have no clue either) over here.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-16-2018, 01:43 AM   #9
Bramblethorn
Mallory Heart Surgeon.
 
Bramblethorn's Avatar
 
Bramblethorn is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 7,735
Quote:
Originally Posted by carnal47 View Post
Even if a girl is very into me and crazy about me, do i still have to have a real conversation with her (getting to know each other) before asking her out? i mean i don't mind I'm just asking for the girl's sake so that she doesn't get offended or find it inappropriate anything. She gets really happy when i look at or smile at her. Also when I talk to her asking if she needs help with something, or asking her something important (she works as a personal trainer at my gym). Or even if she's not showing interest and I catch her by surprise of guard like if I surprise her when i walk up to her and ask if she's using a machine or something like that. I even caught her looking at me many times and when i did she freaked out if that helps.
It is part of her job to smile and be friendly to you. This doesn't automatically mean she's interested. Unless you've talked to her, you don't know whether she's into you.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-16-2018, 04:35 AM   #10
Nezhul
Angry Flufferpuff
 
Nezhul's Avatar
 
Nezhul is offline
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Russia
Posts: 1,861
Quote:
Originally Posted by carnal47 View Post
Even if a girl is very into me and crazy about me, do i still have to have a real conversation with her (getting to know each other) before asking her out? i mean i don't mind I'm just asking for the girl's sake so that she doesn't get offended or find it inappropriate anything. She gets really happy when i look at or smile at her. Also when I talk to her asking if she needs help with something, or asking her something important (she works as a personal trainer at my gym). Or even if she's not showing interest and I catch her by surprise of guard like if I surprise her when i walk up to her and ask if she's using a machine or something like that. I even caught her looking at me many times and when i did she freaked out if that helps.
You ask her out and get to know her on a date. Have a conversation there.

What you should avoid is having sex before getting to know her - this is what may make her feel like you are only interested in getting laid. But there's nothing wrong about dating, and getting to know each other while dating. That's what dating is FOR, actually. It's the whole point.

As Bramblethorn said, the fact that she smiles doesn't automatically mean she's interested. BUT that doesn't change anything - if you like her, just ask her out. Regardless of if she says no or yes - you'll know the answer. Only remember that dating a client is actually a piece of baggage that a lot of people try to avoid. Also there could be rules in her contract that she can't date clients to begin with, so this may be a question of hurting her career, and she'll refuse because of that.
If she says no - don't pester her, but you could just try and develop a friendly relationship with her, and ask her out again half a year or a few months later. Just don't do it every week unless she really telegraphs her interest.
Be careful, because guys generally suck at reading girls. You may feel she wants you, while she's only being polite and friendly.
__________________
Check out my first story on Amazon!

Last edited by Nezhul : 07-16-2018 at 04:41 AM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-16-2018, 04:48 AM   #11
Jada59
Literotica Guru
 
Jada59's Avatar
 
Jada59 is offline
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 5,827
Okay... I'll be the odd one out here. If I were you, I'd just ask her out. Then again, I'm not her and I don't know how she thinks.

I have had conversations with guys and then they asked me out. I have had them ask me out straight away. If they ask me out straight away, I will usually give them a chance unless something about them gives me the creeper vibe. If I don't know the guy, I will usually tell him to meet up with me at the very place where he asked me out. That's usually a safe bet.

I think some people tend to overthink and complicate things. If it feels good, then just do it!

Then again, being asked out to me is not akin to having sex. If I am into the guy, it sure might happen. If I am really into the guy, we may not even go out. We may just go straight to the sex. All depends on the guy and the situation and again...I'm not her.

I will say that women can generally pull off taking a guy straight to bed. The guy may not be so lucky. I know a heck of a lot of women who would not go for that at all.

Also, I can't tell you how many first dates I've been on that were cut short by me. Some by the guy. Just because someone seems appealing at first glance, doesn't mean they are the one for you. I am not the type who will continue going out with someone until someone better comes along. I'd rather be alone and happy than waste someone's time.

Good luck! Think positively and just do it!
__________________
My works:

https://www.literotica.com/stories/m...ge=submissions

If it's pics or vids that you're looking for, keep on looking!
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-16-2018, 06:10 AM   #12
NightL
smoke'n'mirrors
 
NightL's Avatar
 
NightL is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,777
show her this thread you made about her - guaranteed to elicit a response.

Where in your head did you think making a poll over this and asking opinion on how much of an arrogant arse you should be in getting to know this person is beyond me.

Your title "Do I still have to have a real conversation with her?" and post
=
"How can I be as insensitive as possible in order to shortcut the effort, dignity and respect of a woman before I can shag her. Do I actually have to talk to her?"
=
misogynist arsehole

Your previous posts here tell it all, you are not interested engaging women at all, you just see them as body parts.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-16-2018, 10:45 PM   #13
carnal47
Really Experienced
 
carnal47's Avatar
 
carnal47 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Swindon, UK
Posts: 113
Quote:
Originally Posted by NightL View Post
show her this thread you made about her - guaranteed to elicit a response.

Where in your head did you think making a poll over this and asking opinion on how much of an arrogant arse you should be in getting to know this person is beyond me.

Your title "Do I still have to have a real conversation with her?" and post
=
"How can I be as insensitive as possible in order to shortcut the effort, dignity and respect of a woman before I can shag her. Do I actually have to talk to her?"
=
misogynist arsehole

Your previous posts here tell it all, you are not interested engaging women at all, you just see them as body parts.
okay darling first of all i want to go out with her and see where this goes (with the intention of a commitment). but many women tend to have principles have a real conversation with the guy first) and some want to also just rush into a date if their really crazy about the guy. so i want to know what is the most appropriate approach so i DON'T displease, upset or offend or DISRESPECT HER! you prejudice judgmental cunt!
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-16-2018, 10:49 PM   #14
carnal47
Really Experienced
 
carnal47's Avatar
 
carnal47 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Swindon, UK
Posts: 113
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bramblethorn View Post
It is part of her job to smile and be friendly to you. This doesn't automatically mean she's interested. Unless you've talked to her, you don't know whether she's into you.
yeah well heres the thing. If i don't give her any attention she gets upset and disappointed. Even if i walk up to her she gets very happy and then i ask if she's using a machine shes instructing another member next to, she gets disappointed and with a disappointed tone she says ''no im not. its all yours..."
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-16-2018, 11:04 PM   #15
Jada59
Literotica Guru
 
Jada59's Avatar
 
Jada59 is offline
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 5,827
Quote:
Originally Posted by carnal47 View Post
yeah well heres the thing. If i don't give her any attention she gets upset and disappointed. Even if i walk up to her she gets very happy and then i ask if she's using a machine shes instructing another member next to, she gets disappointed and with a disappointed tone she says ''no im not. its all yours..."
You are massively overthinking this. You want to ask her out? Just do it. Is there a place nearby where you could get coffee or ice cream or something like that? Ask her if you can buy her a whatever it is nearby. She might say "no" but other than that, you have nothing to lose.
__________________
My works:

https://www.literotica.com/stories/m...ge=submissions

If it's pics or vids that you're looking for, keep on looking!
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-21-2018, 08:24 AM   #16
SissySalina
Literotica Guru
 
SissySalina's Avatar
 
SissySalina is offline
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Virginia, USA
Posts: 905
Quote:
Originally Posted by carnal47 View Post
Even if a girl is very into me and crazy about me, do i still have to have a real conversation with her (getting to know each other) before asking her out? i mean i don't mind I'm just asking for the girl's sake so that she doesn't get offended or find it inappropriate anything. She gets really happy when i look at or smile at her. Also when I talk to her asking if she needs help with something, or asking her something important (she works as a personal trainer at my gym). Or even if she's not showing interest and I catch her by surprise of guard like if I surprise her when i walk up to her and ask if she's using a machine or something like that. I even caught her looking at me many times and when i did she freaked out if that helps.
Look if all else fails, just be yourself.
What confuses most folks is the do I still have to have a real conversation with her , not sure what you consider a "real conversation". You don't have to totally know someone to ask them out, that is the purpose of the date, so just ask but it would be nice if you did say Hi first.

This is just a sissy opinion.
__________________
Sissy for the of IT

Sissy Salina

Sissy Rules
Sissy will only refer to sissy-self as sissy
Sissy will be in chastity (except for cleaning)
Sissy will be plugged both penile & anal(except for cleaning or usage)
Sissy will have enema twice a day
Sissy is never allowed to say "no"
Sissy giving oral servitude will have hands bound behind back
Sissy will swallow all cum or nectar
Sissy should be milked once a month
Sissy is never allowed ejaculation
Sissy’s only duty is to serve others
Sissyies are always bound or caged at night
Sissies are never to wear any male clothing articles
Sissy's will remove all hair except the long head hair
Sissy will have pierced ears and other piercings
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-21-2018, 12:21 PM   #17
Zeb_Carter
.-- - ..-.
 
Zeb_Carter's Avatar
 
Zeb_Carter is offline
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: In a state...
Posts: 16,128
It depends on how much you are paying her.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-25-2018, 01:04 AM   #18
Wordsworth
Literotica Guru
 
Wordsworth's Avatar
 
Wordsworth is offline
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Cockermouth
Posts: 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by PuckIt View Post
"Do I still have to have a real conversation with her?"

Honestly, big un, that phrase right there gave me pause. I can't speak for anyone else, but it took me a minute to get past that "have to have" to actually read and parse the real question. I'm reasonably sure that you meant it differently. But, it came across as "I don't want to waste time talking but take her out to get her drunk so I can get in her panties." And my first thought at first glance was, "um, usually there is some conversation involved on a date... unless you slip her a mickey finn..."

However. quite often our word choices, even when we think we meant something different, give away our true agenda. I mean, think about it for a moment. WHAT exactly is the hurry to get her to go on a date? What do you feel is different about being on a date as opposed to just speaking with her there and then? What different outcome are you hoping for from a date that you don't think would happen if you spoke to her at your gym?

Any road, for whatever it's worth, my general rule of thumb was that if I felt any rush at all getting involved with someone, then I tended to question just why I wanted to get involved with them in the first place. And more often than not, if I found myself using phrases like "have to," I tended to pause and do exactly that.


In this particular case, that would mean that if I were the one facing the conundrum of whether I "have to" talk to her more before asking for that date, I would definitely make it a point to try to talk to her some more.

*shrug*

Just the two cents of an old fart with more than a few scars from "the battle of the sexes" over the past several decades.
That struck an odd chord with me as well. I routinely find myself enjoying conversation with people I don't intend to enjoy carnal knowledge of.

To the original question though, depending on the level of attraction one senses, why wouldn't one ask the girl out during the initial conversation? There is no requisite nuumber of contacts before one expresses interest. I would always advise being direct and forthright about such things.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-25-2018, 10:08 PM   #19
Trigger_Warning
Really Experienced
 
Trigger_Warning's Avatar
 
Trigger_Warning is offline
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 227
Quote:
Originally Posted by carnal47 View Post
okay darling first of all i want to go out with her and see where this goes (with the intention of a commitment). but many women tend to have principles have a real conversation with the guy first) and some want to also just rush into a date if their really crazy about the guy. so i want to know what is the most appropriate approach so i DON'T displease, upset or offend or DISRESPECT HER! you prejudice judgmental cunt!
May want to check that temper, bud.
__________________
Male, 50, Midwest

In a relationship, gainfully employed, dabbles in writing
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:22 AM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.