Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

Gemma_0

Literotica Guru

Joined

Sep 8, 2018

Posts

4,600

• Mar 24, 2019

• #2,451

Will you still love me tomorrow

 

loquere

Smile!

Joined

May 19, 2011

Posts

35,204

• Apr 28, 2019

• #2,452

What the hell is that smell?

 

M

MutualMike

Really Experienced

Joined

Apr 25, 2019

Posts

148

• Apr 28, 2019

• #2,453

Shall we take a break to watch the game?

 

loquere

Smile!

Joined

May 19, 2011

Posts

35,204

• Apr 28, 2019

• #2,454

Britney, your twin was so much better at deep throating my cock than you, I mean he never vomited all over my dick like you just did..... So are you going to clean that up?

 

Handley_Page

Draco interdum Vincit

Joined

Aug 18, 2007

Posts

78,212

• Apr 29, 2019

• #2,455

"The bathroom's down the Hall. . . ."

 

bobb_sledd

Literotica Guru

Joined

May 29, 2006

Posts

5,749

• Apr 29, 2019

• #2,456

Anal is going to cost you double.

 

Handley_Page

Draco interdum Vincit

Joined

Aug 18, 2007

Posts

78,212

• Apr 29, 2019

• #2,457

"Honey, I'm home !"

 

loquere

Smile!

Joined

May 19, 2011

Posts

35,204

• Apr 30, 2019

• #2,458

bobb_sledd said:

Anal is going to cost you double.

Click to expand...

Lol!!

 

loquere

Smile!

Joined

May 19, 2011

Posts

35,204

• Apr 30, 2019

• #2,459

Ha hah!

 

WillVarrus

Really Experienced

Joined

Apr 6, 2019

Posts

153

• Apr 30, 2019

• #2,460

nick42 said:

Your mother loved this too....

Click to expand...

That's it?

 

CuteSlaveLisa

Literotica Guru

Joined

Mar 9, 2019

Posts

518

• Apr 30, 2019

• #2,461

Does anyone remember old fashioned answering machines that put incoming calls on speaker?

Locale: your lover's apartment.

"This is the free clinic. We have your test results back. You need to come in and see us... "

Love and Kisses

Lisa Ann

 

Handley_Page

Draco interdum Vincit

Joined

Aug 18, 2007

Posts

78,212

• Apr 30, 2019

• #2,462

sfx: <Ding Dong >
"Avon calling "

 

R

rescatooor

Joke Leaf

Joined

Jun 1, 2017

Posts

730

• May 1, 2019

• #2,463

"Happy Mother's Day."

 

Hypoxia

doesn't watch television

Joined

Sep 7, 2013

Posts

28,080

• May 1, 2019

• #2,464

Sirens. Stopping just outside. Then heavy footsteps. Shouting. And then...

 

C

Crownvic

Literotica Guru

Joined

Nov 6, 2017

Posts

27,172

• May 1, 2019

• #2,465

Hurry up...I have to leave soon....

 

Handley_Page

Draco interdum Vincit

Joined

Aug 18, 2007

Posts

78,212

• May 1, 2019

• #2,466

Quick; I have to go back to the Jail. . . .

 

Gemma_0

Literotica Guru

Joined

Sep 8, 2018

Posts

4,600

• May 3, 2019

• #2,467

Was Maxine Waters born stupid or did she become that way over time?

 

Hypoxia

doesn't watch television

Joined

Sep 7, 2013

Posts

28,080

• May 3, 2019

• #2,468

What's that crawling down your leg?

 

Wishingbox

Professional hand

Joined

Dec 17, 2016

Posts

1,245

• May 3, 2019

• #2,469

Has that always been there?

 

Gemma_0

Literotica Guru

Joined

Sep 8, 2018

Posts

4,600

• May 5, 2019

• #2,470

one of your nipples is smaller than the other

 

loquere

Smile!

Joined

May 19, 2011

Posts

35,204

• May 5, 2019

• #2,471

I want to use your tears as anal lube.

 

S

SuzyWho

Guest

• May 5, 2019

• #2,472

Oops, sorry!

 

loquere

Smile!

Joined

May 19, 2011

Posts

35,204

• May 5, 2019

• #2,473

Sorry, wrong room.

 

loquere

Smile!

Joined

May 19, 2011

Posts

35,204

• Jul 28, 2019

• #2,474

Giggity Giggity Goo, all over you.

 

Lori_the_Hoosier

Dhampyre

Joined

Dec 1, 2012

Posts

4,633

• Jul 28, 2019

• #2,475

I have the body of a 22-year old; it's in the trunk of my car, wanna see...?