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Old 01-11-2017, 02:51 AM   #26
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Great thread, Honey. Almost seems like a Talk thread... lots of good info for others, too!!

I agree. Lurking here. beautiful responses.
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Old 01-11-2017, 03:06 AM   #27
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Girls, and what is your take on all of this? When you dominate (or if you had a chance to) - what would be your approach? What would get you going, being gentle or being cold?
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Old 01-11-2017, 03:28 AM   #28
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Hi cookie!





I know, isn't it great?! I'm so excited!

I debated over where to put this, not knowing what sort of input it would get. It's getting plenty of views, so I hope we'll continue to get new people dropping by for a visit.
I agree with Cookie, maybe ask a mod to move this to talk? It's a great thread.
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"The collared and cuffed curly bird is a gregarious and engaging bird, most frequently seen in America, but has been spotted in Europe where it makes itself right at home, enchanting Europeans with its dance and whistle. Though an omnivore, it is fastidious about its cuisine, making some effort to eat favoured titbits over easily plentiful supplies of lesser foods. This bird is also known as the Frivol in some localities."
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Old 01-11-2017, 03:37 AM   #29
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Girls, and what is your take on all of this? When you dominate (or if you had a chance to) - what would be your approach? What would get you going, being gentle or being cold?
I think that depends on so many things.. That's like asking "How do you have sex?" Well, it's never the same (hopefully!) and carries many variables. Sometimes my partners bring out the soft, seductive side of me. I love this. This happens a lot when we are in Get To Know You phase. As we move on and want to feel each other out it can get (what you refer to as) colder. Personally, I love being down on all fours over top of an eager to please man, controlling him only with words, requesting him to keep absolutely still and adding a few light, well placed taps or some lightning quick grabs to keep him so while I slowly kiss and tease my own way to pleasure.

So, probably gentle
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"The collared and cuffed curly bird is a gregarious and engaging bird, most frequently seen in America, but has been spotted in Europe where it makes itself right at home, enchanting Europeans with its dance and whistle. Though an omnivore, it is fastidious about its cuisine, making some effort to eat favoured titbits over easily plentiful supplies of lesser foods. This bird is also known as the Frivol in some localities."
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Old 01-11-2017, 04:07 AM   #30
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Originally Posted by Nezhul View Post
Girls, and what is your take on all of this? When you dominate (or if you had a chance to) - what would be your approach? What would get you going, being gentle or being cold?
I haven't yet gotten to try any kink in person, but I think my style would be mostly gentle, with some sweet sadist thrown in - just enough to make it fun. I'm nurturing but I'm not into the mommy thing. I like to be hands-on, and you better believe I like to fuck. None of this keeping my partner at arms' length business, what is that about? No forced fem, no humiliation or degradation, and for crying out loud, no cock cages, 'cause I plan on using that thing on a frequent basis! Lots of teasing, spanking if he likes it. Um, I like butt stuff, so whatever he's comfortable with there...

I confess, i kind of like a little bullying, pushing him around a bit, but if it's not a turn on for him then it's not going to be fun for me. Taking a handful of hair, pulling his head back and nomming his throat. Or getting face to face and growling at him, one hand on his throat, one pinching his nipple 'til his dick gets hard. That's gentle, right?

I like collars (MINE! ), I think leashes could be fun. I don't like whips, but I'd like to play with a riding crop. Light bondage if that appeals, and lots of sensory play. And mind fucks. Head-spinning, skin-prickling, knee-wobbling mind fucks.
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Old 01-11-2017, 04:11 AM   #31
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Hey Collar!

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Originally Posted by Collar_N_Cuffs View Post
I agree with Cookie, maybe ask a mod to move this to talk? It's a great thread.
Sounds good. I don't know who the mods are around here, I'll see if I can track one down.

And thanks! I'm glad it's seeing some action!


ETA: I sent one of the mods a pm.
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Old 01-11-2017, 04:21 AM   #33
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Originally Posted by Wild_Honey_66 View Post
I haven't yet gotten to try any kink in person, but I think my style would be mostly gentle, with some sweet sadist thrown in - just enough to make it fun. I'm nurturing but I'm not into the mommy thing. I like to be hands-on, and you better believe I like to fuck. None of this keeping my partner at arms' length business, what is that about? No forced fem, no humiliation or degradation, and for crying out loud, no cock cages, 'cause I plan on using that thing on a frequent basis! Lots of teasing, spanking if he likes it. Um, I like butt stuff, so whatever he's comfortable with there...

I confess, i kind of like a little bullying, pushing him around a bit, but if it's not a turn on for him then it's not going to be fun for me. Taking a handful of hair, pulling his head back and nomming his throat. Or getting face to face and growling at him, one hand on his throat, one pinching his nipple 'til his dick gets hard. That's gentle, right?

I like collars (MINE! ), I think leashes could be fun. I don't like whips, but I'd like to play with a riding crop. Light bondage if that appeals, and lots of sensory play. And mind fucks. Head-spinning, skin-prickling, knee-wobbling mind fucks.
This might sound weird, but the femdom in my role play is much harsher than I would want in real life. That's because it gives an edgier, more dramatic effect to the writing. Some might claim I'm perpetuating the stereotypes by doing that, but I just like intense drama in my writing, but not in my life.
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Old 01-11-2017, 04:23 AM   #34
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This might sound weird, but the femdom in my role play is much harsher than I would want in real life. That's because it gives an edgier, more dramatic effect to the writing. Some might claim I'm perpetuating the stereotypes by doing that, but I just like intense drama in my writing, but not in my life.
Oh really? You like harsh femdom? I'll try to remember that!
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Old 01-11-2017, 04:35 AM   #35
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*subscribed and oh so curious *
Hi Liz! Welcome!


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Originally Posted by dale124 View Post
This might sound weird, but the femdom in my role play is much harsher than I would want in real life. That's because it gives an edgier, more dramatic effect to the writing. Some might claim I'm perpetuating the stereotypes by doing that, but I just like intense drama in my writing, but not in my life.
No, this makes sense. I was just talking with someone last night about how our fantasies are necessarily more dramatic than real life because we don't actually have all of the tangibles, the sensory input and other (unpredictable) humans to interact with and fill out the background space. We have to 'pump up the volume' of our fantasies in order to get a level of excitement that takes less when it's happening in person.
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Old 01-11-2017, 04:55 AM   #36
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Welcome - shall we begin?

I have a few questions, but it would be great if the gentlemen chiming in here could give us just the tiniest bit of an intro by way of including their age and how they became interested in FemDom (gentle or otherwise). Thank you!

**How do you see 'Gentle' FemDom being different from the more traditional type of feminine domination?

**Why is it appealing?

**What does a 'gentle' Domme look like to you? How does she behave?

**What do you look for in a GFD relationship? What do you hope to get out of it?

**How do you see it fitting into your life - bedroom only, or lifestyle?
These are truly great questions.

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Oh, now I quite like the idea of a naked manservant bringing me breakfast in bed.
Dang it, now I do too!

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Originally Posted by Wild_Honey_66 View Post
No, this makes sense. I was just talking with someone last night about how our fantasies are necessarily more dramatic than real life because we don't actually have all of the tangibles, the sensory input and other (unpredictable) humans to interact with and fill out the background space. We have to 'pump up the volume' of our fantasies in order to get a level of excitement that takes less when it's happening in person.
Exactly. Miss Honey . Plus, in our fantasies we can go further than we really actually would in real life, right? That's the appeal. That's the excitement.

Do I want to not have enough money to tip the five burly movers who just moved my family from a three bedroom house to a four bedroom house? Absolutely! Do I pay them in advance and make sure I went to the ATM two days before the move so I'm sure I have enough cash to tip them when they are finished? Absolutely!

My impulses and my actions don't have to be the same for them both to be equally real to me. I know it's not quite the same for guys as it is with women, but on some level it must be, right?
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Old 01-11-2017, 05:36 AM   #37
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Well, its the same way when I role play a dom character, which I do more often than a sub character. That's because those roles are more numerous on this and other role play sites. My characters treat women in a harsh manner that I would never treat a woman in real life.
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Old 01-11-2017, 08:19 AM   #38
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This has to be one of the most sane posts ever.
Oh, wow. Thank you.
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Old 01-11-2017, 08:21 AM   #39
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Girls, and what is your take on all of this? When you dominate (or if you had a chance to) - what would be your approach? What would get you going, being gentle or being cold?
Definitely a gentle approach.
I just don't see myself being stone cold, wrapped up in latex, whip in hand.


Now.. I am leaning towards being (very) submissive in the bedroom, but I do have the urge at times to take lead, be on top, let the man know he should just,...indulge. keep hands to self.
Or tease.. I'm a big tease.
I like to play the seductive game.
Take hours to just work to that moment that we both know is going to happen, eventually, just by watching, flirting, soft "unintended' touch .. that kind of things.

Raw, passionate, animalistic..
soft bites, nails, scratching, hair pulling..
Think that's as far as my 'dominance' goes.

I want to say again, how much I like this thread!. good stuff.
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Old 01-11-2017, 09:56 AM   #40
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Hello, I was driving by and noticed this thread...

I'm in the camp of gentle Femdom being more seductive, enticing, encouraging...leading the man (or woman) down a path. Dirty and sultry talk, name calling but not the harsh brutal dehumanizing style I've seen in some videos.

I have a series of stories here (Marion series) that initially started out as gentle Femdom strapon but took an unexpected turn into crossdressing and MM territory so I ran with it. The description calls it loving Femdom, but I equate the two, I guess.

Strapon Jane has videos that are in the same vein.
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Old 01-11-2017, 08:43 PM   #41
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Originally Posted by aFairy View Post
Definitely a gentle approach.
I just don't see myself being stone cold, wrapped up in latex, whip in hand.


Now.. I am leaning towards being (very) submissive in the bedroom, but I do have the urge at times to take lead, be on top, let the man know he should just,...indulge. keep hands to self.
Or tease.. I'm a big tease.
I like to play the seductive game.
Take hours to just work to that moment that we both know is going to happen, eventually, just by watching, flirting, soft "unintended' touch .. that kind of things.

Raw, passionate, animalistic..
soft bites, nails, scratching, hair pulling..
Think that's as far as my 'dominance' goes.

I want to say again, how much I like this thread!. good stuff.
Yes, to all. Not COLD, not at all.

In my past, I had to take the lead if I wanted sex. It's not where I live.

I'm not a Domme and I'm not doing the ordering about thing. Nor the control thing. I would say that in my aggressive moments it is all about a loss of control on my part.

If I become aggressive it's because I'm so overcome and I want him so bad I just have to.
Loving, but not soft.
Passionate.
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Old 01-11-2017, 08:48 PM   #42
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Yes, to all. Not COLD, not at all.

In my past, I had to take the lead if I wanted sex. It's not where I live.

I'm not a Domme and I'm not doing the ordering about thing. Nor the control thing. I would say that in my aggressive moments it is all about a loss of control on my part.

If I become aggressive it's because I'm so overcome and I want him so bad I just have to.
Loving, but not soft.
Passionate.
Primal?
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Old 01-11-2017, 08:57 PM   #43
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Yes, to all. Not COLD, not at all.

In my past, I had to take the lead if I wanted sex. It's not where I live.

I'm not a Domme and I'm not doing the ordering about thing. Nor the control thing. I would say that in my aggressive moments it is all about a loss of control on my part.

If I become aggressive it's because I'm so overcome and I want him so bad I just have to.
Loving, but not soft.
Passionate.


..like honey said. primal.
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Old 01-11-2017, 08:59 PM   #44
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Originally Posted by jomar View Post
Hello, I was driving by and noticed this thread...

I'm in the camp of gentle Femdom being more seductive, enticing, encouraging...leading the man (or woman) down a path. Dirty and sultry talk, name calling but not the harsh brutal dehumanizing style I've seen in some videos.

I have a series of stories here (Marion series) that initially started out as gentle Femdom strapon but took an unexpected turn into crossdressing and MM territory so I ran with it. The description calls it loving Femdom, but I equate the two, I guess.

Strapon Jane has videos that are in the same vein.
Hi! Welcome to the thread.

Ooo, pegging.

I have seen a few that were wonderfully passionate and energetic, but sensual and loving, too.
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Old 01-11-2017, 09:04 PM   #45
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In the past, I have welcomed and sometimes requested that my partner take on a leading role in sex, but I don't think I would describe any of that experience as having been dominated. Topped, perhaps if we need to use parsing terminology, but I preferred to think of it as having been pleasured. That her duty in that moment toward me was to create and drive my pleasure, possibly but not necessarily without regard for her own. Does this resonate with anyone here as being what you might describe as gentle femdom or no?
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Old 01-11-2017, 09:31 PM   #46
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Primal?
A rose by any other name...
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Old 01-11-2017, 09:36 PM   #47
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In the past, I have welcomed and sometimes requested that my partner take on a leading role in sex, but I don't think I would describe any of that experience as having been dominated. Topped, perhaps if we need to use parsing terminology, but I preferred to think of it as having been pleasured. That her duty in that moment toward me was to create and drive my pleasure, possibly but not necessarily without regard for her own. Does this resonate with anyone here as being what you might describe as gentle femdom or no?
Not digging the word "duty".

My understanding of what Honey is talking about (which is not much) is a Domme with a tender touch.

I see what you are describing as more what I initially said.
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Old 01-11-2017, 09:49 PM   #48
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Not digging the word "duty".

My understanding of what Honey is talking about (which is not much) is a Domme with a tender touch.

I see what you are describing as more what I initially said.
In the situations I was describing, my partner was my submissive. Saying it was her "duty" was accurate though I can see where it might have seemed inappropriate without that context.
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Old 01-11-2017, 10:08 PM   #49
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In the situations I was describing, my partner was my submissive. Saying it was her "duty" was accurate though I can see where it might have seemed inappropriate without that context.
Not inappropriate. Just kind of dry.

The situation I was describing was a loss of self, so much so that I can't help but try to take the lead. Because I want it. For him and for me.
No duty.
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Old 01-11-2017, 10:09 PM   #50
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...That her duty in that moment toward me was to create and drive my pleasure, possibly but not necessarily without regard for her own. Does this resonate with anyone here as being what you might describe as gentle femdom or no?
For me, the idea that she was doing it out of a sense of duty, even if willingly and happily, disqualifies it from being 'female-led.' I cannot deny that there is pleasure to be had in that scenario, but it's not femdom to me.
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