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are you in a monogamous marriage?

pplwatching said:
My wife and I are monogamous after almost 23 years. I personally feel that vows express intent, but at the end of the day vows aren't what define a marriage or inspire monogamy and fidelity.

Sex allows my wife and me to be intimate with and vulnerable to each other in a very unique way. It enhances our love relationship and builds and reinforces the bond between us.

Speaking for myself, I have never been able to have sex without some kind of emotional attachment because sex is an act of service. When I have sex with my wife, I am completely devoted to meeting her needs first and foremost. Meeting her needs makes me feel fulfilled in a very unique way. It is physical pleasure, but it is also an expression of love between us.

I am monogamous in part because marriage is a very fragile thing, even during the best of times. We put a lot of work into building a relationship, including learning the subtleties and nuances of how to make sex really resonate between us. I am not able to wrap my head around mercenary sex. I am certain that even a "no strings" sexual relationship outside of my marriage would end up with strings, because that's the way that I am wired and how I approach sex. I don't think that I would be capable of fooling around outside of my marriage without weakening my relationship with my wife. At best it would be a distraction keeping me from making my relationship with my wife everything that it can be. At worst it would sap the energy and strength that sex brings to my marriage.

I am monogamous because I feel a very deep sense of satisfaction from focusing on our marriage. I really enjoy being so completely focused on my wife. It is very humbling to know that she could choose to give herself to others, but instead chooses to give that part of herself to me. It is very gratifying to work through the dry spells together, working to keep our sex life vibrant and deeply satisfying as life throws curve balls at us (not to mention aging).

My wedding vows are not chains that keep me from looking outside my marriage for sex. They are only a reflection of the kind of marriage that I want to have and live. I forsake all others not because I spoke the words. I spoke the words and live them because it is the way that I want to live my life with my wife.
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((((Standing ovation))))

I don't meant to intrude or hijack this thread but I stumbled across this and had to tell you how beautifully you expressed yourself. Its the type of relationship/marriage I aspire to have one day. You and your wife are very lucky to have found one another.

Again, apologies for the interruption. Have a good night.:)
 
Happily monogamous, at least physically.

We both made a commitment and it is important we keep our commitment. To both of us.

But I love the fantasy that literotica allows
 
luvdoublepenetration said:
She ever dped??Ask her to do it..she will love it
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No, unfortunately not yet. One of the things on the hotwife "to do" list is for Mrs.Screwher to participate in a threesome with two other men. Hopefully at that point my wife is giving her ass up for other guys. Then yes, I want to watch my sweet little wifey get DPed !
 
Original topic: why remain monogamous? (I almost typed anonymous, oops)

We did, and have, initially because it seemed like what we were supposed to do.

Then because we got busy, and had kids.

Then because it can be so damn complicated to involve others. The risk of losing or messing up an established friendship is huge.

But now...we seem to have reached the far side of all that, and are now encouraging each other to find other partners. In bed, it becomes a betting game: who will cheat first?

So all our reasons were good, valid. All our reasons for moving past that are good and valid, too, namely this: we are very happily married.

kik = @hohnerG
 
If polyamory isn't synonymous with being monogamous, then I am not. It does work well for hubby and me - and no, he doesn't play.
 
Sort of..

Together 10 years, married 5.

She's had 2 affairs that I know about, possibly 2 more. (Training Day theory).


I've had a revenge fling, when during the second affair she filed for divorce and went AWOL for 12-16 weeks.

Since reconciliation, monogamy has ensured as far as I am aware.


For the last 2 years, celibacy has also been endorsed on her part.
 
I'm now in my third marriage, this time to a man, and still never a monogamous one. I wouldn't want it any other way.
 
My first marriage was open in that we agreed we could both step out but with the knowledge and permission of the other on our choice of playmates and not bringing them home in front of the kids without permission as well. With both of us being bi, things went along quite well for years until she decided she didn't need my input on her playmates or bringing them home, but I still needed hers.

My current marriage is monogamous, but due to her declining health, my current wife has lost interest in sex other than the occasional blow or hand job which I think is just trying to keep me satisfied (it's not). But without her saying it's okay, I've been resisting the urge to go behind her back. And to top it off, I find myself losing interest in women and going back to wanting some cock.
 
I am in my third marriage. The first two to women who have passed away, and now to a man. None have been, or are, monogamous, and I wouldn't want it any other way.
 
we are currently monogamous. We spent many years swinging. But for the last few have been monogamous. We don't really have a reason, at first it was just timing and real life. But then after many months passed because of scheduling and real life getting in the way we discovered we could have just as much fun talking about it and remembering old times together.

We aren't opposed to it, we don't have any rules or whatever so either of us could do whatever. Each of us just chooses not to for this period of time.
 
Have been for decades, and happily.

BUT ...

Might come as a bit of a shock to some who have known me long on Lit, but I am actively seeking to play away just now. I'll keep my reasons to myself at present. But, yeah, I'm looking for another woman to fuck. Preferably with her husband.
 
Yes. monogamous....

We are also loyal, forgiving, accepting, evolving, respectful and discreet.

These things are more important to us than the monogamy we aim for.

Opportunities to test our commitment to monogamy tend to come up more often for her than me.

But yes, we aim at monogamy as boring as that sounds. We are pretty good at what we get up to though.
 
No.....

But we also happen to be loyal, forgiving, accepting, evolving, respectful and discreet.
 
policywank said:
No.....

But we also happen to be loyal, forgiving, accepting, evolving, respectful and discreet.
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Wasn't judging others choices, just saying those are some of the things that are more important to loving relationships. I have family living in a polyamorous relationship who are constantly judged for their choice not to remain exclusive despite the fact that they put more visible effort into their personal relationships than a lot of my other family put into their bread and butter ones.

Good luck to all no matter what your flavour.
 
Rollinbones said:
Wasn't judging others choices, just saying those are some of the things that are more important to loving relationships. I have family living in a polyamorous relationship who are constantly judged for their choice not to remain exclusive despite the fact that they put more visible effort into their personal relationships than a lot of my other family put into their bread and butter ones.

Good luck to all no matter what your flavour.
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I didn't think you were judging. I was just agreeing that those are the important things and they shouldn't be confused with personal perspective on exclusivity.

In general I think that successful poly relationships require a level of dedication and honesty that would benefit all relationships.

Any set of pre-canned rules as to what it means to be a good spouse come with the very real prospect that those rules take the place of fostering genuine caring and connection. I have family where the spouses almost ignore each other and actively avoid any challenging topic as long as the spouse is abiding by the rules. It would be comical if it weren't so sad. My father-in-law doesn't give two shits if everyone is happy or miserable as long as his life goes according to script.
 
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