As The Hospital Pervs

True sign you're a CCRN. You watch throat fucking porn and all you think is "wow, I bet they'd be easy to intubate".

Hopeorless1 said:

Hmm. I can't quite help with the man part, so I can offer you two things:

1. A night of pleasure and pain, being tied up, whipped, clamped, and beaten. Then being forced to cum until it becomes unbearable, and then spoiled, pampered, and cuddled in a nice hot bath....

2. Lopressor 5mg Iv.

Take your pick.

Sorry----- definitely bi creeping this morning

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Hahaha! Don't be sorry!

_Milky_Whites_ said:

True sign you're a CCRN. You watch throat fucking porn and all you think is "wow, I bet they'd be easy to intubate".

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Haha! I was just thinking that while playing with the 'difficult airway cart!'

So you are alive.

I was beginning to wonder.

IndieSnob said:

So you are alive.

I was beginning to wonder.

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I have a pulse!

My first weaning experience— after two days of weaning failure.

I looked at the patient in the face and said: The tube is coming out today, are you ready for that? The patients eyes became so large and her head was shaking yes, yes.

The tube came out and the patient smiled! I said: Hello! You did great!

A few hours later she says with a raspy voice: “You look like a movie star, the one who played that prostitute in paris! She carried around a small black poodle with her! What is her name? I can’t remember! You are so beautiful!”

I asked: Do you remember me?
She said: Yes, thank you for taking care of me.
I said: Yeah, this nurse costume is just my disguise. I am a movie star in real life!

I knew I recognized you from somewhere.... You are a beautiful actress.

sweepthefloor said:

My first weaning experience— after two days of weaning failure.

I looked at the patient in the face and said: The tube is coming out today, are you ready for that? The patients eyes became so large and her head was shaking yes, yes.

The tube came out and the patient smiled! I said: Hello! You did great!

A few hours later she says with a raspy voice: “You look like a movie star, the one who played that prostitute in paris! She carried around a small black poodle with her! What is her name? I can’t remember! You are so beautiful!”

I asked: Do you remember me?
She said: Yes, thank you for taking care of me.
I said: Yeah, this nurse costume is just my disguise. I am a movie star in real life!

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sweepthefloor said:

A few hours later she says with a raspy voice: “You look like a movie star, the one who played that prostitute in paris! She carried around a small black poodle with her! What is her name? I can’t remember! You are so beautiful!”

I asked: Do you remember me?
She said: Yes, thank you for taking care of me.
I said: Yeah, this nurse costume is just my disguise. I am a movie star in real life!

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Not only don't I know the actress, I have no idea what movie this is referring to. Hint, please?

harry johnson said:

I knew I recognized you from somewhere.... You are a beautiful actress.

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Yeap, it's true. Nursing is just my side work.

Balladeer08 said:

Not only don't I know the actress, I have no idea what movie this is referring to. Hint, please?

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I have no idea! I told her I would look it up on the internet but clearly I have been too lazy. It is quite possible the lady was disorientated status post a few days in the sleeper hold of the milky white diprivan drip drip drip.

I still cry every time I bag a body.

After an appropriate moment of silence I continue to perv on with a low grade fever.

sweepthefloor said:

I still cry every time I bag a body.

After an appropriate moment of silence I continue to perv on with a low grade fever.

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Rough. Really rough. I really had trouble with dead kids, couldn't handle that well emotionally. So I can relate.

Best advice I can give is to get your s/o to screw you unconscious. Nothing is as life-affirming as sex.

If he won't, call me. 8)

sweepthefloor said:

I still cry every time I bag a body.

After an appropriate moment of silence I continue to perv on with a low grade fever.

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Im sorry sweetie I feel you there All of my regulars have been dying off like flies lately...

We have one that we had to send up to ICU in a critical state last night, that always loves me and hugs on me. I remember one of the first times that i met him and we talked, he hugged me, and said, "When I die, I will have so many amazing people at my funeral!" I dread the fact that it will actually be soon

Edited: I'm not sure if it's just that I am from the South, but my patients are very huggy and very friendly and value a friendly, warm smile and nice words over anything.

Balladeer08 said:

Rough. Really rough. I really had trouble with dead kids, couldn't handle that well emotionally. So I can relate.

Best advice I can give is to get your s/o to screw you unconscious. Nothing is as life-affirming as sex.

If he won't, call me. 8)

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Pediatrics is another story and I won't go there. It takes a special kind of nurse to work that and I don't fit in.

Sex therapy, Ok as soon as I wash off this MRSA.

Hopeorless1 said:

Im sorry sweetie I feel you there All of my regulars have been dying off like flies lately...

We have one that we had to send up to ICU in a critical state last night, that always loves me and hugs on me. I remember one of the first times that i met him and we talked, he hugged me, and said, "When I die, I will have so many amazing people at my funeral!" I dread the fact that it will actually be soon

Edited: I'm not sure if it's just that I am from the South, but my patients are very huggy and very friendly and value a friendly, warm smile and nice words over anything.

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I think most people value friendly warm smiles and reassuring words, especially in such a vulnerable state. Let's face it: The H is a scary place.

I don't hug often, and I don't use words like: sweetie, honey, baby- towards my patients because it feels disrespectful to me. I say Mr. Smith, Mrs. Clark etc, until they tell me to use there first name which they often do.

I do utilize therapeutic touch, hold hands, back rub and embrace the family members when they need it. I have a good intuition. I just know.

That being said: There are those patients that want hugs. I have even been kissed on the cheek and hugged many on discharge. I just do it when it seems right.

On death: Awwa it is never easy especially when you get close. The good thing is that you can take the feeling that you did something good for a person when they needed it. It's unbelievable to feel this and it's really special. How can we describe that? That is when I say to myself: Fuck it, this pressor doesn't mean shit, let me wash her hair because that is what they remember, that is what makes them feel good.

We joke about it to cope but the reality is always within us.

It's like in the middle of a crisis, if I could be the one holding her hand coaching: Hold on, let us work, hang in there, stay with me... or the nurse starting the line etc... I would choose to be the coach. It doesn't always work out that way.

I feel the stress of trying to do the clinical piece and trying to provide the emotional aspect to equal total care and wellness but it is a struggle. So I say: Hug on nurse! You know your patients!

*ROSC = return of spontaneous cock.


*Return of spontaneous circulation- is it really spontaneous? I mean really after pounding on some chest and lighting up the bed like a Christmas tree…spontaneous? I don’t like the wording.

Also a hott brain is a damaged brain. Is that why I am so fucked up?

ER RN: I know I am new here but every time I run into you I see this power lit smile. It seems you just light up the place. You are so beautiful.

Me: I will remember that tonight when I am soaking the pillows with tears.

Did I just say that out loud? Yes, I did.

Me: Well thank you. I look forward to seeing you again, you know… at the bedside when you bring the patients up to me.

And then I shook her hand firmly, and SMILED!
The kind of smile that I have to force my lips over to hide my crooked teeth.

gf

as a wheelchair user treated like a lab ratr at best I thank God for kindhearted nurses like you unafraid to sooth me when pain and fear seemed overwelming

I am sorry for your experience. You are a human being. I won't ever forget that. Right here, and in practice.

d

im sure, you wil always remember drs im sorry to say tend to talk down or use force

I don't understand entirely what you mean sd. It's a complex dynamic with many factors involved but the bottom line is your care. If you feel 'talked down' to, or 'forced' in ways you do not wish: Tell your nurse and he/she will rectify the situation.

And just to clarify: I work for the patient. I don't work for doctors. They don't pay my salary. I do work with them to get the best care possible for the patient. At the end of the day: I work for you.

sweepthefloor said:

...
I don't hug often, and I don't use words like: sweetie, honey, baby- towards my patients because it feels disrespectful to me. I say Mr. Smith, Mrs. Clark etc, until they tell me to use there first name which they often do.

...

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Perfect.

jomar said:

Perfect.

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Mr. J, It's time for your treatment.

sweepthefloor said:

Mr. J, It's time for your treatment.

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I will simply go limply and let you treat me as you see fit.