Hide, Magnetron's outside!

Harry has butters,
bent over the back of'a
bedroom couch
she's reading a copy of Southern Living,
March, 1967,
pulled from the stack by the window where couch has slid
while the mister works out the kinks in his life

BUMP
Cor, what's that; is it those squirrels agin'?
eyes glowed out the window, bright in the night,
caught in an orgasmic eye as release brought the world back
nope, looks like a ground hog,
outside several snake eyes joined it,
craps, Harry said
He's brought friends

butters looks up from the garden section,
page 32,
wiggles, is it straighter yet?

Don't believe chiropractic back cracks are easy in bed
Next time try it on the kitchen table instead
You've done it everywhere on the living room floor
Hasn't helped her spine unravel anymore
Straight from my lips
if you ask me
get behind her and push with more oomph in your hips

I am the eye in the sky
looking at yoo-oou
peering through your blinds
I craft poetry for fools and the just plain dumb
crap gold nuggets and jewels
and the occasional pearl of wisdom*






* 10% of all royalties go to The Alan Parsons Project

*bites tongue*

my spine is a little out of alignment, it's true.

butters said:

*bites tongue*

my spine is a little out of alignment, it's true.

Click to expand...

almost has me believing dingle ball pearls of truth,

HarryHill said:

almost has me believing dingle ball pearls of truth,

Click to expand...

butters said:

Click to expand...

..
Harry fiddles with security panel
sfx, robotic chvken voice:
bbawk, tracking device activated
..
chains FIDO outside the window

The Case of the Peeping MagneTom
A Harry Hill, P.I., Adventure

It was an ordinary day at the office. I was trying to decide whether to eat the last doughnut, the one with the really attractive multicolored sprinkles, or to break out the fresh pint of Gentleman Jack (proudly distilled and bottled in Tennessee), crack its seal, and get on with the real business of the morning. Jack was on his way to winning, as he usually does, when my secretary, Marion, opened the door and, winking so frantically as to make me think she was suffering an epileptic fit, announced that "It's a client, Harry. You'll want to see her, yes you will. She's a peach."

I took my feet off the desk, placed Jack back in the right-hand drawer, and straightened my jacket. I even pushed the doughnut a bit to the side. A bit.

"Send her in," I said, confidently.

Now I have to explain something. There's this song, if you're old enough to remember it: "Brick House."

The gal that walked in the door was no brick house. She was the effing Burj Khalifa. The word cantilever finally meant something to me. (Thank you, architecture class!)

"Call me Butters," she said. Her accent was English. "I have a problem."

"We," I squeaked, "well, I, can fix it, Ms. Butters. It's what we, I mean I, do. How can I service you? I mean [knocks head], be of service to you?"

"There's a man."

"A man?"

"Some guy with an absurd moustache and an armful of kittens. He seems to want to watch me."

"Watch you do what?"

[End of Scene]

*tinkles of laughter*

It's those darn avatars of hers, leaving too much to the imagination.

On the other hand, I don't know what my fixation with Harry is.

Must be a serious mancrush.

Magnetron's gone apeshit,
running through the briars,
fell in the crik,
narrowly avoiding the killer crawdads,
who scurried hurriedly away
from crab boil hastily poured in the water
an emergency ration he carried
in case of crustacean infestations
weird phobia, the luck of this guy

Statutory Warnin' , Harry old friend !!!

HarryHill said:

Magnetron's gone apeshit,
running through the briars,
fell in the crik,
narrowly avoiding the killer crawdads,
who scurried hurriedly away
from crab boil hastily poured in the water
an emergency ration he carried
in case of crustacean infestations
weird phobia, the luck of this guy

Click to expand...

Heated Magnets [ chick magnets or not ] are injurious to Health ......by order Surgeon General

The Sturgeon General
he wurned me ya see
aboot catchin monster crabs
along the sea floor shelf
now lots o lobster pots gots myself
doin the reach around grabs
crusty crustecean critters crawlin
up'n'down ma'back'n out of th'crack'n -
Balls!!!
Harry?!? A squall's a'comin ..
Won't you come lend me a hand?

Ashesh9 said:

Heated Magnets [ chick magnets or not ] are injurious to Health ......by order Surgeon General

Click to expand...

Magnetic Resonance Imaging, Mags is an RT, he wants me to be still an get scanned

Magnetron said:

The Sturgeon General
he wurned me ya see
aboot catchin monster crabs
along the sea floor shelf
now lots o lobster pots gots myself
doin the reach around grabs
crusty crustecean critters crawlin
up'n'down ma'back'n out of th'crack'n -
Balls!!!
Harry?!? A squall's a'comin ..
Won't you come lend me a hand?

Click to expand...

Not much of a fisher of men
let 'em all go to hell for their various sins
real or imagined, far from the ocean
sending you a bottle of Blevins lotion
hope you get well soon

HarryHill said:

Magnetic Resonance Imaging, Mags is an RT, he wants me to be still an get scanned


Not much of a fisher of men
let 'em all go to hell for their various sins
real or imagined, far from the ocean
sending you a bottle of Blevins lotion
hope you get well soon

Click to expand...

Awesome

"ye gods missus, he's punching possums."
Harry exclaimed, peeking out a rip
in one pane of tinfoil
covered windows
pane 40

"best he be careful which end he hits
both ends nasty bits,
the one a naked skinny tail,
the other all teeth and red eyes

"Hmhmmm," Harry replied, glancing aside
into his butters eyez,
sending a whole conversation
that needed no reply,
eyeing an empty coffee cup
starting sketch 41 of the cuarenta-ocotych