Another Newbie!

Hi all. I'm very new here and to BDSM although I'd love to get into it after having the few experiences I have! I think myself as a sub, I'm male and rather short (5'3!).

Hello and welcome

You've said on the other thread that you're confused. Is there a specific question you would like to ask?

Well I'm just confused of how you even get started in the community. I have an ex but she never liked anything like this. I've had a few one off encounters with people including BDSM which got my curiosity going. I don't really like clubs so BDSM clubs really wouldn't be for me, so as that is out of the question, I don't know how to meet anyone in the BDSM community essentially!

Wallaby07 said:

Hi all. I'm very new here and to BDSM although I'd love to get into it after having the few experiences I have! I think myself as a sub, I'm male and rather short (5'3!).

Click to expand...

Welcome.
If you just want to introduce yourself, I recommend the sticky at the top of the thread - New faces, come say hello....

Well I mainly posted to get some advice on how to meet people in the BDSM community and hopefully get into it >.< But as I'm here I can introduce myself
I'm Jacob, I'm 5'3 (yes I'm short) 18, rather pale and have blonde hair. I'm generally pretty shy when it comes to this sort of thing, but then again I would think most people would be!

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Not my area of expertise, but you should open an account on fetlife. That will give you details of munches in your local area which are informal gatherings of like minded people. Also, it is a website designed to meet potential partners.

On here, there is the bdsm personal section, and the chat threads here for discussion, learning and friendship.

I'm sure others will be able to give you some more advice about expanding your self knowledge and keeping yourself safe in real life meet ups.

If you want to meet people face to face vs. online, google is your friend. Just type bdsm and your location. You'll have to weed through a bunch of info but you might find a group that sounds right for you.

Fet life is another resource - it's a different site. It's like Facebook for kink. You can do searches on groups in your area. I'm a moderator for a spanking group here in my city and we have our group listed on Fet. I always appreciate it when a new person reaches out and asks questions.

In order to actually meet people, you have to show up to an event and say hi. Just like you would at a book club or a running group or whatever.

Fetlife.com IS a place you can find locals, but it is not setup as a dating site. You can find local events and people in your area, but there is not search function for ASL or relationship status. However, there ARE groups setup for personal ads that could be helpful to you. Personals are not the best way of meeting potential partners on fetlife. The best way is to interact in discussions and generally make yourself known while making friends. Do not lead with your kink, it's the fastest way to make people ignore you.

Because you say meeting through clubs or local events isn't for you, a dating site like OKCupid can potentially help you. There are options to show you are interested in power exchange and such.

Treat people like people and you'll generally get positive results.