Hypersexed dommes?

I want sex everyday, sometimes even more than once a day. In some ways, I bear a close resemblance to that unrealistic fantasy dom who uses his sub sexually until she reaches the point of exhaustion. The difference is that I'm a bisexual female.

Sometimes I feel like a freak even among my fellow BDSM enthusiasts. Most dommes that I've met only want direct sexual gratification from their subs about twice a week or so-- or even less (which is practically unimaginable to me). I've honestly never met another domme as hypersexed as I am. Has anyone here ever met a domme as hypersexed as I am before?

To me, that isn't hypersexed, that's normal. Generally it is worth noting that the term 'hypersexed' replaces 'nymphomania', which means that it intrudes on your work and effects your job and your relationships. If it doesn't, you just have a higher sex drive than the apparent average.

Freya_Gin said:

I want sex everyday, sometimes even more than once a day. In some ways, I bear a close resemblance to that unrealistic fantasy dom who uses his sub sexually until she reaches the point of exhaustion. The difference is that I'm a bisexual female.

Sometimes I feel like a freak even among my fellow BDSM enthusiasts. Most dommes that I've met only want direct sexual gratification from their subs about twice a week or so-- or even less (which is practically unimaginable to me). I've honestly never met another domme as hypersexed as I am. Has anyone here ever met a domme as hypersexed as I am before?

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The Gaussian distribution:



Yes, you are a freak.

Most dommes that I've met only want direct sexual gratification from their subs about twice a week or so-- or even less

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That's damned near tragic.

Primalex said:

The Gaussian distribution

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Classic.

Freya_Gin said:

I want sex everyday, sometimes even more than once a day. In some ways, I bear a close resemblance to that unrealistic fantasy dom who uses his sub sexually until she reaches the point of exhaustion. The difference is that I'm a bisexual female.

Sometimes I feel like a freak even among my fellow BDSM enthusiasts. Most dommes that I've met only want direct sexual gratification from their subs about twice a week or so-- or even less (which is practically unimaginable to me). I've honestly never met another domme as hypersexed as I am. Has anyone here ever met a domme as hypersexed as I am before?

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I go through phases where my sexual appetite goes into hyper drive, yes. I admit that I have not met many people, women or men, that want sex every day or more often, but they are out there. I have actually spent years, probably the better part of a decade in this mode. If you are comfortable and happy, and as already mentioned, sex isn't getting in the way of your normal activities or putting you in danger, there's nothing wrong with it. Sexual drive is just as much a part of us as hunger and the need for companionship.

And you are not a freak Just enjoy!

Primalex said:

The Gaussian distribution:

Yes, you are a freak.

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This shows a normal distribution, covering 99.73 percent of the population. Even removing those who are too young or unable to have sex, it's highly unlikely that she falls outside of this range.

Not a freak

Just being involved in BDSM makes you "a freak", so just enjoy it... whatever brand or flavor of freak you happen to be.

Collar_N_Cuffs said:

I go through phases where my sexual appetite goes into hyper drive, yes. I admit that I have not met many people, women or men, that want sex every day or more often, but they are out there. I have actually spent years, probably the better part of a decade in this mode. If you are comfortable and happy, and as already mentioned, sex isn't getting in the way of your normal activities or putting you in danger, there's nothing wrong with it. Sexual drive is just as much a part of us as hunger and the need for companionship.

And you are not a freak Just enjoy!




This shows a normal distribution, covering 99.73 percent of the population. Even removing those who are too young or unable to have sex, it's highly unlikely that she falls outside of this range.

Not a freak

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Well, if you want sex every day or more for longer periods of time, past your teens, I think it's fair to say that you don't run much risk of concussion if you fall from your part of the bell curve.

Doesn't mean it's bad or that it's a problem - unless it is problem.

richard_daily said:

Just being involved in BDSM makes you "a freak", so just enjoy it... whatever brand or flavor of freak you happen to be.

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This.

Freak is hardly a bad thing around here.

IrisAlthea said:

Well, if you want sex every day or more for longer periods of time, past your teens, I think it's fair to say that you don't run much risk of concussion if you fall from your part of the bell curve.

Doesn't mean it's bad or that it's a problem - unless it is problem.

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Haha! A perfect summation. You will fall to the outer edge of the bell curve, but you're probably not an outlier. Outliers would be those who need and have zero sex and those who need sex many times a day, most likely ruining their lives or their health.

What compels you to compare yourself to others?

There are always going to be others who are more or less of some criteria and we will only use this data to measure our worth against some fantastic expectation we impose upon ourselves.

Don't compare.

Just enjoy.

Do as you will so long as it harms none.

as a sometimes sub

I think the whole point to the D/s play would be to have sex of some sort.

Otherwise it seems a little like slavery.

But admittedly I'm not into the all the time Domme sub sort of thing. Seems like eventually the mundane chores would have to get done and maybe you just commit to the roles even after fireworks are over.

Least ways, for me, I want always want a Domme who is fully focussed on the sex part of the game.

malefica said:

To me, that isn't hypersexed, that's normal. Generally it is worth noting that the term 'hypersexed' replaces 'nymphomania', which means that it intrudes on your work and effects your job and your relationships. If it doesn't, you just have a higher sex drive than the apparent average.

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At last, one of my own kind!

clistenovena said:

That's damned near tragic.

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I know!

richard_daily said:

Just being involved in BDSM makes you "a freak", so just enjoy it... whatever brand or flavor of freak you happen to be.

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In all seriousness, what I mean is that I've been treated as something of a freak even by other BDSM enthusiasts. The prevailing attitude sometimes is that a domme is supposed to be denying her subs sex, not demanding so much. One potential sub suggested to me that the dommes who reacted like that felt threatened, afraid that I was trying to take their subs away from them. There are more subs than dom/mes so that shouldn't be a problem, though naturally it can be difficult to find the right one.

My ex-sub, Jess, was disloyal like that and that's why she's my ex. I understand that relationships don't always work out and sometimes one needs to find another partner, but I have no respect for disloyalty, where someone drops a partner as soon as someone they think is better comes along. Hence, I'm not after anyone else's subs. Plus, even some subs take that derisive attitude, that I'm not a "real" domme because I don't deny sex to my subs.

Rollinbones said:

What compels you to compare yourself to others?

There are always going to be others who are more or less of some criteria and we will only use this data to measure our worth against some fantastic expectation we impose upon ourselves.

Don't compare.

Just enjoy.

Do as you will so long as it harms none.

Click to expand...

Well see, I didn't start out comparing myself to others. Everyone is unique, right? But then I got compared to other dommes. Frequently. I'm glad to see that this is not what's happening here now that I've "confessed" my "shortcoming" as a domme.

People in the scene do seem to be more tolerant than they used to be. They acknowledge that sexuality and kink are spectrums instead of demanding that you choose one and then fit in with their notions about it. I remember in the old days that there was a lot of Gorean attitudes towards femsubs and some people were told that they were wrong if they didn't adhere to that style to some degree. For instance, I distinctly recall a discussion on this board whether or not a certain female sub was within her rights to tell off her dom for taking another sub without her consent. Fortunately, there were some folks around sensible enough to ask, "Who the hell are you to decide that for another's relationship?"

Yeah, I'm middle-aged now and that was years ago, but you might be surprised how long ago that wasn't.

Freya_Gin said:

At last, one of my own kind!



I know!



In all seriousness, what I mean is that I've been treated as something of a freak even by other BDSM enthusiasts. The prevailing attitude sometimes is that a domme is supposed to be denying her subs sex, not demanding so much. One potential sub suggested to me that the dommes who reacted like that felt threatened, afraid that I was trying to take their subs away from them. There are more subs than dom/mes so that shouldn't be a problem, though naturally it can be difficult to find the right one.

My ex-sub, Jess, was disloyal like that and that's why she's my ex. I understand that relationships don't always work out and sometimes one needs to find another partner, but I have no respect for disloyalty, where someone drops a partner as soon as someone they think is better comes along. Hence, I'm not after anyone else's subs. Plus, even some subs take that derisive attitude, that I'm not a "real" domme because I don't deny sex to my subs.



Well see, I didn't start out comparing myself to others. Everyone is unique, right? But then I got compared to other dommes. Frequently. I'm glad to see that this is not what's happening here now that I've "confessed" my "shortcoming" as a domme.

People in the scene do seem to be more tolerant than they used to be. They acknowledge that sexuality and kink are spectrums instead of demanding that you choose one and then fit in with their notions about it. I remember in the old days that there was a lot of Gorean attitudes towards femsubs and some people were told that they were wrong if they didn't adhere to that style to some degree. For instance, I distinctly recall a discussion on this board whether or not a certain female sub was within her rights to tell off her dom for taking another sub without her consent. Fortunately, there were some folks around sensible enough to ask, "Who the hell are you to decide that for another's relationship?"

Yeah, I'm middle-aged now and that was years ago, but you might be surprised how long ago that wasn't.

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There is no shortage of people who think there's a "true" way to do this stuff, rather than just compatible and incompatible pairings. That's their problem, not yours. Now you know people with those attitudes are definitely not compatible with you.

SpunThings said:

There is no shortage of people who think there's a "true" way to do this stuff, rather than just compatible and incompatible pairings. That's their problem, not yours. Now you know people with those attitudes are definitely not compatible with you.

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Much wisdom is contained in these few sentences.

I'm a married, dominant woman, aged 31. I want lots of sex, if not on each day of the week then on 5-6 days at least. And on a day or two I seem to want it more than once. And on those days when I don't want any, I'm either on my heavy period, simply too tired from the kid(s) or just want to have as many hours of sleep as possible. I love sleeping as much as sex!

I never thought that was freaky and I still don't. I just consider it as one of the signs that our marriage is doing well.

And no, you're absolutely not "shortcoming" as a domme. Intolerant people will always be around and the rest of us just have to do our best to ignore them. They're not worthy of our thoughts.

I don't think it's freakish at all. That said, I am not dominant. I think wanting and/or having sex multiple times a day is completely normal and healthy.

Super healthy.

Freya_Gin said:

I want sex everyday, sometimes even more than once a day. In some ways, I bear a close resemblance to that unrealistic fantasy dom who uses his sub sexually until she reaches the point of exhaustion. The difference is that I'm a bisexual female.

Sometimes I feel like a freak even among my fellow BDSM enthusiasts. Most dommes that I've met only want direct sexual gratification from their subs about twice a week or so-- or even less (which is practically unimaginable to me). I've honestly never met another domme as hypersexed as I am. Has anyone here ever met a domme as hypersexed as I am before?

Click to expand...

We seem to have much in common, including the daily desire for sex, and the desire for daily (at least) sex. Usually, if I don't have sex in the evening, I need to masturbate to orgasm to be able to sleep. If this makes me a "freak," I don't mind. I've embraced my sexuality.

As a warning to you: starting in my late 40s, my sex drive, always strong, started to increase, and does so to this day.

Wanting to have sex any opportunity you can sounds normal. I might want to have sex multiple times a day but if I have a on going sexual deprivation and edging with someone to see how long they can hold off without sex, cool sex everyday doesn't work out for that dynamic but I'll go fuck when I want because I don't have to deprive myself to stay in some image of being dominant. Sex is awesome and I'm not gonna miss out.

Not a Domme but...

As a female sub I'd take sex morning noon and night if I could. My Master sometimes finds it hard to sate me. We're usually in session 4-6 times a week. I would find it easy to go daily, or even twice daily (we've done this pattern before for a 3 week stretch and it was divine.). Really heavy sessions however usually have 2-3 days between, mixed with lighter play days.

.....

AfterDusk said:

I think you are fine just the way you are. If nothing else, it seems the flack you are getting is nothing more than gender prejudice, carried over from everyday life. Despite that all of the folks on here are a little left of center, you're still going to run into small mindedness.
Historically men are seen as sexual creatures, women as pure objects of desire. We were never intended to have what men have or do what they do or want but they want, at least according to them...early women were trained to believe this, and daily we still fight against this ingrained prejudice. Men who sleep around are high fived, women who do the same are shamed.
If a sub doesn't respect your authority and style of domination, then they don't deserve you, plain and simple. We can only be the person we are.

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I'd almost forgotten this thread. I have a bad tendency to do that.

And thank you for understanding! You're right. I think the make subs who scorn the idea of such a sexual domme could be just those who are into denial and thus have their own prejudices... and problems, since finding a domme is hard enough, let alone one compatible with your kinks and willing to take you on.

And thank the rest of you for being so supportive! Honestly, I feel much better about this now that I see dominants like myself and others who aren't put off by my hypersexuality.

_____

great thread.