Do you ever feel real emotions for someone you've met on here?

Paendragon said:

Do you ever kick yourself for it?

I do. Both. I don't let people in easily. I'm guarded. Very.

I think I need to be more guarded. Lol

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I've had some strong connections, and the resulting emotion, with a handful of people here on Lit over the years. I'm pretty careful anymore, but..one slips in occasionally. I don't kick myself over it, because there are some very extraordinary people here...and getting to know those extraordinary people has enriched my life.

No regrets

Mindfondler said:

The downside, of course, is that I make myself vulnerable every time I invest in an emotional connection.

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That happens on both sides of the screen. I still haven't decided if one side is easier than the other. Not that either is easier, really.

Mindfondler said:

I still continue because I remember that hiding myself safely behind a cold mask for many years was far worse for me than the burns. I'm taking a chance whenever I put my full self out there, but at least I know that's the authentic me.

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Bravo!

barefootgirl69 said:

Yes, there are real emotions. We are human and that is something that should come as naturally here as "out there".

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^ Exactly that.

indiesoul said:

My online relationships are just as real and important to me as any other.

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I've always wondered why some say "in real life" to distinguish between the sides of the screen. It's all real life. I get that many here put up a front for whatever their reasons may be. It's up to me to choose to buy in or not. Mostly I don't, just because I feel in doing so, I'll keep necessary boundaries for myself in place.

And there's this...

SassySheDevil said:

Lit always sucks me in though.

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yellowrocket said:

Most of us wouldn't keep coming back if it didn't fill some need.

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Yep.

Yes, I have. A couple of times and have gotten burned both times. My life here mirrors my real life situation wifh my wife, it sucks.

I won't even try to figure it out, .......

Amazingly and so definitely, .... Yes!

........

NEVER...not worth it

Yes. Long term chat friend, female, thousands of miles away. 15 years older than me.

When we don't chat, I miss her.


Sexually, we're a perfect fit.

Of course. They are real people so real emotions. I try not to regret, instead I have a fun story to tell.

My hubby was telling me of a Beautiful Latino he met here and loved, (his life at the time was in termoil) and they parted ways, told she was a Hot Sexy BiBBW

Absolutely...

Yes. Very much so. I've been lucky.

One, whom I care for very deeply...a bond of loving friendship that makes me smile and makes me unusually positive about things (which is not my normal outlook at all...sometimes to a fault, which I know drives her bonkers sometimes ).

Others, a different bond. Some pervy, some silly. But still bonds and emotion.

It is absolutely worth the effort, to me. And sometimes the pain.

People as a whole suck. But when you find the good ones...

lurkingguy1978 said:

People as a whole suck. But when you find the good ones...

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This. ^ All day long.

Your feelings are yours. They come from the hormone soup in your grey matter. People can register the same emotions for their spouse, their child, or a really yummy piece of cheesecake.

I think a more appropriate question is, is the object of your emotions worthy of them.

Yes

I did meet a lady friend on lit and we chatted almost every week for about 6 Years. We talked about everything, not just sex. We did meet once in person, early on. Then she just drifted away. If I email her she will cordially reply, but she doesn’t seem to want to chat with me anymore, or meet me again. I don’t know if I did anything wrong or not?

I still miss chatting with her. It was good to have a friend on one to share things in your life with.

Paendragon said:

Do you ever kick yourself for it?

I do. Both. I don't let people in easily. I'm guarded. Very.

I think I need to be more guarded. Lol

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Been there.

In principle, I don't think that I should let a dissapointment inhibit being open, but it has.

I'm not sure why the last particular disappointment was more lasting.

There is an advice radio show that I used to listen to dr. Jenn Berman. She describes the dating process in general as being like trying on clothes: you look for something appealing, you try it on, you see if it's a good fit; you see if you're comfortable in it.

In several previous attempts over the many years, it seemed that there was some closeness and there was promise on the horizon. It just did not seem to in the end that we were a good fit. In those cases I was simply left with mild disappointment and some warm memories.

Something about the way I got wrapped up in the last situation, and the realization that I made it and her something that neither she nor the entanglement actually were left a lasting lethargy towards putting in that sort of energy.

Part of the problem is I had found myself already fairly withdrawn from the meat world. When virtual reality was considerably less than real it just made such pursuits, silly.

For me I think it is fair to say that on lit we tend to share some fantasies and desires and emotions that we may not share in the everyday World outside of this setting. That being said I think that for me I have a number of surface relationships with folks on here where we flirt or peas or have a little fun. But occasionally I have met somebody on here that I truly connect with and we have that emotional and sexual chemistry. I think in that case no matter how hard how hard you try there is some type of emotion that comes into play. Whether that's deep friendship or a genuine affection. That does not mean of course that we act on that outside of a relationship on lit. But I think there is some transference and bonding that happens if there is genuine emotions feelings and Sensations shared.

clistenovena said:

This. ^ All day long.

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Indeed....

Yes. I agree with the sentiment that this can be a very "real" experience. I didn't plan on feeling as I do...it's even more beautiful because it is unexpected.

AlwaysSoaked said:

Yes. I agree with the sentiment that this can be a very "real" experience. I didn't plan on feeling as I do...it's even more beautiful because it is unexpected.

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What a very nice thought - and well expressed.

indiesoul said:

I came back and read this a couple times and then decided to respond. It's kind of something I do on the occasion that someone's post hits home with me.

I'm a pretty withdrawn person as well and try to make up for it online, but it usually leaves me feeling hurt or unfulfilled. Don't get me wrong, I've made some real and wonderful relationships on here. But I usually feel like I have to give my all in order to sustain them, and I don't always get that in return.

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Im not historically a hermit, but I take to it comfortably.

To clarify, when that particular entanglement turned out to be more construction than not, I became apathetic.

I don't actually differentiate the depth of involvement or how "real" something is by the medium you exchange thoughts and feelings by. In years past I had many onli e only experiences that were as indepth and honest as one might be in person.

I suspect that at the time I was experiencing some mild clinical depression and it was held at bay by some artifice. When that collapsed the depression moved in.

Just aa in the real world you can maintain a whole series of different relationships with different people that involve different levels of depth trust honesty and disclosure. What a co-worker knows about you is not nearly the same as what your pastor might for example.

In the past I had usually some projects, as I think of them simmering in various stages of development. Some were collaberative, some were more directive, some were merely opportunities to interview or voyeur. I haven't engaged in any of those more superficial dalliances lately either, so that's why I think that last emmeshment must have had a bigger impact than I admit.

I don't identify as much with the hurt so much as unfulfilled that you report. for me that's not necessarily online specific. I require a certain level of emotional attachment in order to be "fulfilled" emotionally and sexually. I find it difficult to get my mind a fire off the appropriate orgasmic triggers if I'm not in their mind and they in mine. That requires a level of intimacy that you really can't manufacture it has to come from someplace organic and authentic.

One amazing connection that lasted for years. But got to a point where we couldn't or wouldn't take it farther. So I guess it had to end. The bar is set so high, I'm not sure it will ever happen for me again.

Thank you, all, for the posts. I wish I could say it makes it easier, lol, but at least I know I'm not alone in this.

I guess love is love, no matter where you find it.

I have had really strong feelings for people on lit. It’s scared me before..the strength of the feeling..but I’ve never regretted it. It’s the feelings that made it hard to walk away when I needed to. Probably the connection which pulls me back even when I really shouldn’t

Definitely

Ditto what’s been said, one of really like to meet but not in this lifetime unfortunately!!