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MFM...help finding a third...

R

readingtime

Experienced
Joined
Sep 17, 2012
Posts
54
I want a threesome! Thankfully, my man is excited about it too. However, we have no idea what we're doing. We tried to invite a friend, but he chickened-out. It felt really crappy to get turned down and left that relationship in an awkward state... :(

In fantasy land, there are now worries, but IRL the risks scare us.

Anyone have advice?
Anyone happy with their successes?
Any failures you can share to prepare us?

Thank you!
:kiss:
 
That is a big step. We're only into the fantasy but there still is no shortage of offers (just on here) if we were to start looking. The key is to be safe and be smart about it - use your gut/intuition. Have fun!
 
Psh, looking for a MMF but.. good luck. We cant even seem to find other bi friends to hang out with lead alone bring into the bedroom.
 
Me and my wife are in fantasy mode as well. We love the idea of a threesome but we're both so picky and finding the right guy is only the first part......he'd have to be open to joining another married couple which is another big hurdle. I'm crossing my fingers that one day we'll find that perfect subject to join us for a kinky night.....or a whole weekend šŸ˜ƒšŸ˜ƒ
 
Try some gay dating apps and/or dating apps that also have a significant numebr of gay users.

Be upfront about what you're looking for! Many gay men are not at all interested in what you're offering, and will be pissed off if you're not upfront about it. But I believe many gay/bisexual men will be interested!

Also, with all dating apps (gay and otherwise), there will always be assholes, fakes, and flakes; so bring a thick skin and a healthy bs-detector.

Good luck!
 
curiouschattycouple said:
That is a big step. We're only into the fantasy but there still is no shortage of offers (just on here) if we were to start looking. The key is to be safe and be smart about it - use your gut/intuition. Have fun!
Click to expand...

My hubby writes stories for me! I'm having a real hard time focusing. :)

Yes, safe only. We're struggling to find an opportunity to be intuitive... :(
 
newcouple1128 said:
Psh, looking for a MMF but.. good luck. We cant even seem to find other bi friends to hang out with lead alone bring into the bedroom.
Click to expand...

I guess that is the unwritten struggle: we're looking for someone we can trust to have fun with, not just another swollen member. Trusting people is hard enough, let alone trusting them with something so personal!! Thank you for your support!!
 
readingtime said:
I want a threesome! Thankfully, my man is excited about it too. However, we have no idea what we're doing. We tried to invite a friend, but he chickened-out. It felt really crappy to get turned down and left that relationship in an awkward state... :(

In fantasy land, there are now worries, but IRL the risks scare us.

Anyone have advice?
Anyone happy with their successes?
Any failures you can share to prepare us?

Thank you!
:kiss:
Click to expand...


Advice: don't be casual or cavalier about asking someone to
be the second man. Be clear about lines of demarcation. Is it just a second Dick you want or a second man in your relationship. It's common for second dicks to develop feelings for the girl they're fucking. Even if it starts out as just fucking only. Be clear about what you really need inside as a woman.
 
ADIDAS00 said:
Me and my wife are in fantasy mode as well. We love the idea of a threesome but we're both so picky and finding the right guy is only the first part......he'd have to be open to joining another married couple which is another big hurdle. I'm crossing my fingers that one day we'll find that perfect subject to join us for a kinky night.....or a whole weekend šŸ˜ƒšŸ˜ƒ
Click to expand...

I guess it may be a little more complicated for us as we're looking another man only. We're picky in the sense that they have to be healthy, intelligent, honest and fun... You'd thing we were seeking the moon.
 
hylas_ said:
Try some gay dating apps and/or dating apps that also have a significant numebr of gay users.

Be upfront about what you're looking for! Many gay men are not at all interested in what you're offering, and will be pissed off if you're not upfront about it. But I believe many gay/bisexual men will be interested!

Also, with all dating apps (gay and otherwise), there will always be assholes, fakes, and flakes; so bring a thick skin and a healthy bs-detector.

Good luck!
Click to expand...

Great advice! Thank you!
 
petes478 said:
Advice: don't be casual or cavalier about asking someone to
be the second man. Be clear about lines of demarcation. Is it just a second Dick you want or a second man in your relationship. It's common for second dicks to develop feelings for the girl they're fucking. Even if it starts out as just fucking only. Be clear about what you really need inside as a woman.
Click to expand...

Never cavalier! ...only casual in the sense that we aren't aggressive or deceitful about our desires. We're not looking for a 3-way marriage, but we do want someone who respects the gravity of what we're doing. Thank you for your input...honestly...it was invaluable to see the perspective of a 'second'!
 
readingtime said:
Never cavalier! ...only casual in the sense that we aren't aggressive or deceitful about our desires. We're not looking for a 3-way marriage, but we do want someone who respects the gravity of what we're doing. Thank you for your input...honestly...it was invaluable to see the perspective of a 'second'!
Click to expand...

My pleasure! I wish you all the best.
 
albertaboy said:
If the rest of you and Hubby look as nice as your tits in that pic you shouldn't have any trouble.
Click to expand...

Thank you! That was very kind! We're in our 40's so I guess some people hold that against us... Otherwise, I thought we'd be a good catch for someone who was of the same mindset.
 
We've had pretty good luck with threesomes. It has taken us some considerable time investment to find suitable partners and most contacts have come from local newspaper ads and craigslist. There are a lot of time-wasters, and after we have spoken a couple of times to a guy on the phone (assuming he isn't just looking for a phone wank) a meeting for a drink near work (hubby & I work quite near each other in the city) is the best way of finding out if he looks OK and has a personality. I guess we have a 10% strike rate. We will see someone up to 3 or 4 times but then move on to make sure there is no dependency. But when we do find someone we usually have a great time so he time investment in searching is worth it.
 
It takes time. My wife and I have enjoyed both MFM & MMF situations, but you're right, finding a third can be difficult. We had good luck with adultfriendfinder - but there may be better sites/apps now than several years ago when we were playing.

Part of the challenge was finding the "right" guy instead of the "perfect" guy. We decided we didn't care if our third was married or not - that was a good thing. It opened the door to a lot of very sexually frustrated guys stuck in sexless marriages.

Interestingly, many of the guys who contacted us for MMF were really more interested in MFM.

Ultimately, we decided to let her do the vetting. She had a lot of fun chatting with lots of different guys until she met someone we both could meet. Good luck!
 
You can try dating sites.
When you find a guy - meet him for a dinner, or hang out in any other way. This will let you judge what you think of him, if you get the wrong vibe.

Make it clear that you may change your mind as a result of this meeting in a one-sided way and not necessarily provide any good explanation. Also make it clear that it's not a relationship offer.

Feel free to set up any other conditions to the guy. And you will still likely get a lot of response to your offer, because a lot of men can't turn down an offer of a pussy, even if we have to share ;)

I also think there are some educational videos that you should watch - they cover positions and how to approach the sex itself. Some of the tips will make the thing less awkward.
 
LindaSue said:
We've had pretty good luck with threesomes. It has taken us some considerable time investment to find suitable partners and most contacts have come from local newspaper ads and craigslist. There are a lot of time-wasters, and after we have spoken a couple of times to a guy on the phone (assuming he isn't just looking for a phone wank) a meeting for a drink near work (hubby & I work quite near each other in the city) is the best way of finding out if he looks OK and has a personality. I guess we have a 10% strike rate. We will see someone up to 3 or 4 times but then move on to make sure there is no dependency. But when we do find someone we usually have a great time so he time investment in searching is worth it.
Click to expand...

Thank you so much for the encouragement! The hard part is trying pace ourselves for the search. We're still trying to figure out a strategy for sorting people out... *sigh*

Fun times ahead!:kiss:
 
BuckyDuckman said:
It takes time. My wife and I have enjoyed both MFM & MMF situations, but you're right, finding a third can be difficult. We had good luck with adultfriendfinder - but there may be better sites/apps now than several years ago when we were playing.

Part of the challenge was finding the "right" guy instead of the "perfect" guy. We decided we didn't care if our third was married or not - that was a good thing. It opened the door to a lot of very sexually frustrated guys stuck in sexless marriages.

Interestingly, many of the guys who contacted us for MMF were really more interested in MFM.

Ultimately, we decided to let her do the vetting. She had a lot of fun chatting with lots of different guys until she met someone we both could meet. Good luck!
Click to expand...

Thank you for your support!

We're ok with married and single...and perfect is a pipe dream. (-:

Fun ahead!
 
Nezhul said:
You can try dating sites.
When you find a guy - meet him for a dinner, or hang out in any other way. This will let you judge what you think of him, if you get the wrong vibe.

Make it clear that you may change your mind as a result of this meeting in a one-sided way and not necessarily provide any good explanation. Also make it clear that it's not a relationship offer.

Feel free to set up any other conditions to the guy. And you will still likely get a lot of response to your offer, because a lot of men can't turn down an offer of a pussy, even if we have to share ;)

I also think there are some educational videos that you should watch - they cover positions and how to approach the sex itself. Some of the tips will make the thing less awkward.
Click to expand...

This is great advice! It does sound easier to set guidelines like this. Thank you!!
 
Try hiring a male escort

My former girlfriend and I tried FMF threesomes first. It just seems easier to find girls who are up for it. We didn't fuck any of her close friends, but there seemed plenty of people she knew a little at college who just jumped into bed with us. Finding a guy for MFM was harder. We decided we just wanted another dick to try it out and to avoid hassles, we booked a weekend away in another city, and then hired a young guy from an escort agency. It was completely uncomplicated and no-strings attached. Problem was that I liked it but my girlfriend didn't. At least paying a guy to fuck us allowed us to find that out without any long term consequences.
 
sign up to swingers lifestyle, there are tons of single guys we do couples only and have no problem finding them. good Luck it a lot of fun
 
I have no idea what your budget is but I would hire a professional. I have dabbled in the hobby for a good part of my life. I know some of the female escorts I have seen said that they provide for couples and even suggested that I try this with my SO and concentrate all the pleasure on her. This is out of the question however, this is the way I would do it if I wanted an FFM/FMF 3-sum.

The professional escorts I know are into your pleasure as well as theirs and they play safe and most importantly, they leave when their time is up and they are unlikely to develop permanent feelings for you or your spouse.

However, I am much less familiar with male escorts. I know of one agency in Canada that has a number of male escorts on staff. PM me if this may be an option and I can share a link.

The point is that you are dealing with professionals. They have track records that you can find on a review web site. You tell their boss what you are looking for and select a guy and he will meet you at a neutral site such as a Hotel room and safely perform the service that you want. You do not even share your real name and address.

If the professional does not do what you want you have recourse. You go on an online review site and give the agency and the particular escort a bad review. Writing a bad review is something I rarely do but the threat of it is like the checks and balances in Washington. If they try to rip you off in any way at least you can call the agency and go on line and write a bad review.

This is the safest way.
 
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