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Old 03-24-2017, 06:13 PM   #1
Mindfondler
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Arrow M dom (52) seeks F sub (London UK) for sensual/mental D/s play and sharing of cake

(12th December 2017: Updated timeline and changed "Mrs MF" to "Tinglebliss")

Summary


I'm looking for a non-exclusive, "no sex" sparky female BDSM play partner with submissive tendencies (age and experience unimportant) in or around London, UK who enjoys the concept of mental D/s play and who would like to learn more about it with me possibly in tandem with my wife who is a switch.


Who am I?


I'm a straight, happily married guy from SE London (UK). I'm fascinated by the mental aspects of domination and submission: the way that an agreed transfer of power and control between people can become an exhilarating ride "in the head". My experience so far has been mostly in the physical domain: "topping" my wife (Tinglebliss) who enjoys gentle sensual play and light bondage.

Physically, I'm 52 years old, in good shape (lots of running!), with looks that I'd describe as "distinguished" (others might say greying!) see my profile photo. In my head, though, I'm a lot younger: full of ideas, energy and fun. I treasure good friendship, connection and emotional intimacy. I'd expect a compatible play partner to share those values and be prepared to open up with me (I'll do likewise) and on topics much wider than just kink.

I have a strong nurturing instinct, so lack of kink experience isn't any barrier to me. On the contrary, I'd enjoy the opportunity to teach as well as learn, and to re-live the thrills of discovering kink through someone else's eyes.

Tinglebliss and I have been exploring BDSM together for the last two and a half years. We're well known and respected in our local kink community and we're regularly seen out at events. We're now both seeking to branch out individually in new directions to supplement our play together.

Over the last eighteen months, Tinglebliss and I have met several lovely UK based ladies through our personal adverts. We've spent many happy hours introducing them to kink, variously talking through the concepts and conventions, enabling them to meet other kinksters at public events, and helping them to join in at a play event. We're flattered that these ladies chose to put their trust in us and we're very pleased to have been able to help them.

I'm still looking for a play partner, though! For various reasons of impracticality or unsuitability that don't reflect adversely on anyone, the ladies that I've met so far haven't fitted the bill. My long term ambition is to find a compatible lady who shares my interest in slow teasing sensual play, mental play and domination games. I'm realistic that this may take a long time and is most likely to grow out of a friendship that I make.

My older posting Mindfondler's core BDSM fantasy! explains some more of the background to my advert.


What's the deal?


Let me expand on my headline:
  • By "non-exclusive", I mean that I'm entirely happy for you to play with other partners as well. I'm certainly going to continue playing with my wife! Part of the fascination for me is that each person responds differently to the same stimuli. I'd enjoy the challenge of building a connection with someone else and discovering what works best for you.
  • By "no sex", I mean that I'm not seeking to perform overt sexual acts with you. I have no need for that and I'm not looking for it. I'm open to the idea of including a sexual edge in physical play (e.g. light flogging of bum and boobs), but that's something for negotiation and I'll definitely play safe without that agreement.
  • I've written "play partner with submissive tendencies" rather than "submissive" because I'm unable to commit to 24/7 support that might be expected with a full-on D/s relationship. I'm imagining that we'd stay in contact on a regular basis, but a few times a week rather than throughout each day (excepting aftercare, which I'd treat as a special requirement).
  • I've specified London, UK as I want it to be possible for us to get together fairly easily. I'm not looking for an online-only arrangement.
  • I want to learn with you. I have some experience of BDSM but I certainly don't know all of the answers and I want to grow too. I'm a competent and sensible guy, and I'm able to develop strong understanding and empathy with people who "click" with me. Others have said that I'm good at listening, encouraging and challenging (in a positive way), and I'd enjoy taking a nurturing role if you have a need for that.

What do I like?


Here are some activities that I enjoy (not an exhaustive list!):
  • Slow teasing sensual play, perhaps involving blindfolds and light restraint. I'm qualified in Indian Head Massage, so I'm capable of delivering a range of relaxing sensations as well as stronger ones. We could start with this: me just working gently on your arms, shoulders and head without any elements of bondage.
  • Mental games involving anticipation, surprise and release. Concepts such as predicament play and primal play excite me, and I'd love to explore them with a willing sub. I'm aware, though, that they require strong trust and a good connection, so they're not an option for first play.
  • Domination games in which we engage in a mental and physical battle for control of a situation or role play (but I win, of course!). Again, these require great trust and communication, as well as a lot of shared imagination, so they won't suit everyone.
  • I've also started to explore hypnosis as a means of consensual mental domination. I need to learn more, but I'm finding that I have the right temperament and a good voice for it!

What happens next?


For those who like a detailed plan, read on!

Here's how things might pan out:
  • You read this advert and like it
  • You contact me by Private Message
  • We exchange messages for a while to see if we "click"
  • If so, we move to chat via 'phone, instant messaging or other medium (your choice)
  • If all goes well, then we arrange to meet up somewhere (e.g. local pub or coffee shop)
  • We talk about what we want (types of play, experience levels, ambitions and limits)
  • If we seem compatible, then we shortlist some possible events to go to
  • We attend an event and we try playing together there
  • I administer aftercare (if needed) and we review how things went
  • Hopefully, we do more!
On a week-to-week basis:
  • We keep in touch by online chat and physical meetings (as suits us)
  • We talk about our ambitions and how we're getting on with them
  • There may be nurturing
  • There will definitely be cake!
  • We arrange to go to more events and we prepare for them
  • We go to events and play
Realistically, things can change at any stage:
  • We need to keep reviewing how things are going
  • It's okay for us to grow apart or to agree that it isn't working we can be adult about that
  • I'll be delighted if my nurturing enables you to move on to something bigger and better
  • Hopefully, we'll part company amicably and with good memories
That's just an illustration, though not a prescription.


About Tinglebliss and me


My wife (Tinglebliss) helped me to compose this advert and is keen for me to pursue this ambition. Our marriage is a harmonious one and we enjoy our play together in the domains that we have in common. Here's a photo of us engaging in some rope play (you'll need to click on the link as this section of the forum doesn't allow embedded images):
http://forum.literotica.com/attachme...8&d=1461855134
You can read more about us in our writing: Meet Mr and Mrs MF!.

See also our joint advert here.


Hear me talk about BDSM!

Listen to me describe my guiding philosophy for D/s play! <-- SoundCloud audio clip
Listen to my guide to BDSM terminology! <-- SoundCloud audio clip
Important: In my audio clips as above, I'm not speaking from any position of assumed authority, but rather from the perspective of a former newbie who (with Tinglebliss) remembers how confusing these concepts were when we first encountered them two and a half years ago.


Interested?


Please send me an exploratory message. Let's talk!
.
__________________
My other half is the delightful Tinglebliss.
Visit our Meet Mr and Mrs MF thread and hear our (old) joint introduction.


Read about me in kink and what turns me on and my other interests.
Also, see my photos and listen to my audio clips.


Check out my personals advert for a sparky female sub.
NEW! .Are you our needle in a haystack?


Team PM ..


Last edited by Mindfondler : 12-12-2017 at 06:18 PM. Reason: Updated timeline and changed "Mrs MF" to "Tinglebliss"
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Old 03-29-2017, 10:13 AM   #2
thatbooknerd
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Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Southern United States
Posts: 10
You spund lovely--hope you and the missis fond someone great!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mindfondler View Post
(This is an update to my previous advert from six months ago. As I've explained below, Mrs MF and I have met some great ladies since then who remain good friends but aren't compatible play partners for various reasons)

Summary


I'm looking for a non-exclusive, "no sex" female BDSM play partner with submissive tendencies (age unimportant) in or around London, UK who enjoys sensual and mental play possibly in tandem with my wife who is a switch.

My wife (Mrs MF) helped me to compose this advert and is keen for me to pursue this ambition. She will read any replies (so please say hi to her too!) and will be alongside me at any meetings (helping to eat the cake!). It's vitally important to me that we all "click" and can be friends together, whether in or out of play.


Who am I?


I'm a straight married guy from SE London with a long-standing passion for gentle sensual play, light bondage and nurturing. I'm 52 years old, full of ideas, energy and fun, with looks that I'd describe as "distinguished" (others might say "greying"!) see my profile photo.

My wife (Mrs MF) and I have been exploring BDSM together for the last two years. We're well known in our local kink community and we're regularly seen out at events. We're now seeking to branch out in new directions to supplement our play together.

Over the last few months, Mrs MF and I have met three lovely UK based ladies through our personal adverts. We have spent many happy hours introducing these three ladies to kink, variously talking through the concepts and conventions, enabling them to meet other kinksters at public events, and helping them to join in at a play event. We're flattered that these ladies chose to put their trust in us and we're very pleased to have been able to help them.

My longer term ambition is to find a compatible regular play partner who shares my preferences for slow teasing sensual play, mental play and/or domination games (potentially also involving Mrs MF). I'm realistic that this may take a long time and is most likely to grow out of a friendship that we make.

My older posting Mindfondler's core BDSM fantasy! explains some more of the background to my advert.


What's the deal?


Let me expand on my headline:
  • By "non-exclusive", I mean that I'm entirely happy for you to play with other partners as well. I'm certainly going to continue playing with my wife! Part of the fascination for me is that each person responds differently to the same stimuli. I'd enjoy the challenge of building a connection with someone else and discovering what works best for you.
  • By "no sex", I mean that I'm not seeking to perform overt sexual acts with you. I have no need for that and I'm not looking for it. I'm open to the idea of including a sexual edge in physical play (e.g. light flogging of bum and boobs), but that's something for negotiation and I'll definitely play safe without that agreement.
  • I've written "play partner with submissive tendencies" rather than "submissive" because I'm unable to commit to 24/7 support that might be expected with a full-on D/s relationship. I'm imagining that we'd stay in contact on a regular basis, but a few times a week rather than throughout each day (excepting aftercare, which I'd treat as a special requirement).
  • I've specified London, UK as I want it to be possible for us to get together fairly easily. I'm not looking for an online-only arrangement.
  • I want to learn with you. I have some experience of BDSM but I certainly don't know all of the answers and I want to grow too. I'm a competent and sensible guy, and I'm able to develop strong understanding and empathy with people who "click" with me. Others have said that I'm good at listening, encouraging and challenging (in a positive way), and I'd enjoy taking a nurturing role if you have a need for that.

What do I like?


Here are some activities that I enjoy (not an exhaustive list!):
  • Slow teasing sensual play, perhaps involving blindfolds and light restraint. I'm qualified in Indian Head Massage, so I'm capable of delivering a range of relaxing sensations as well as stronger ones. We could start with this: me just working gently on your arms, shoulders and head without any elements of bondage.
  • Mental games involving anticipation, surprise and release. I'm aware, though, that these require strong trust and a good connection, so they're probably not an option for first play.
  • Domination games in which we engage in a mental and physical battle for control of a situation or role play (but I win, of course!). Again, these require great trust and communication, as well as a lot of shared imagination, so they won't suit everyone.
  • I've also started to explore hypnosis as a means of consensual mental domination. I need to learn more, but I'm finding that I have the right temperament and a good voice for it!

What happens next?


For those who like a detailed plan, read on!

Here's how things might pan out:
  • You read this advert and like it
  • You contact me by Private Message
  • We exchange messages for a while to see if we "click"
  • If so, we move to chat via 'phone, instant messaging or other medium (your choice)
  • If all goes well, then we arrange to meet up somewhere (e.g. local pub or coffee shop)
  • We talk about what we want (types of play, experience levels, ambitions and limits)
  • If we seem compatible, then we shortlist some possible events to go to
  • We attend an event and we try playing together there
  • I administer aftercare (if needed) and we review how things went
  • Hopefully, we do more!
On a week-to-week basis:
  • We keep in touch by online chat and physical meetings (as suits us)
  • We talk about our ambitions and how we're getting on with them
  • There may be nurturing
  • There will definitely be cake!
  • We arrange to go to more events and we prepare for them
  • We go to events and play
Realistically, things can change at any stage:
  • We need to keep reviewing how things are going
  • It's okay for us to grow apart or to agree that it isn't working we can be adult about that
  • I'll be delighted if my nurturing enables you to move on to something bigger and better
  • Hopefully, we'll part company amicably and with good memories
That's just an illustration, though not a prescription.


More about Mrs MF and me


You can read more about us in our writing: Meet Mr and Mrs MF!.

Here's a photo of us enjoying some rope play:

http://forum.literotica.com/attachme...8&d=1461855134


Interested?


Please send me an exploratory message. Let's talk!
.
__________________
"One cannot be too careful with words; they change their minds just as people do" --Jose Saramago

== Results from bdsmtest.org ==
93% Submissive
90% Rope bunny
64% Girl
58% Pet
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Old 04-04-2017, 06:12 AM   #3
KimGordon67
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Who doesn't love cake?
__________________
They went down to the river on a warm summer night.
The air was thick with the smell of
temptation.

Maybe glance at this before you PM: Writing PMs
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Old 04-04-2017, 06:17 AM   #4
where_is_RUTH
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not seeking to perform overt sexual acts with you.

but seriously you had me at "On a week-to-week basis:"

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Old 04-04-2017, 04:58 PM   #5
Mindfondler
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KimGordon67 View Post
Who doesn't love cake?
My thoughts exactly! Cake is a universal language.

Quote:
Originally Posted by where_is_RUTH View Post
but seriously you had me at "On a week-to-week basis:"

I've tried reading back my advert several times, along with your comment. I still don't get it. However, if it caused you some hilarity (albeit unintentionally) then it would be churlish of me to grumble.
.
__________________
My other half is the delightful Tinglebliss.
Visit our Meet Mr and Mrs MF thread and hear our (old) joint introduction.


Read about me in kink and what turns me on and my other interests.
Also, see my photos and listen to my audio clips.


Check out my personals advert for a sparky female sub.
NEW! .Are you our needle in a haystack?


Team PM ..

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Old 04-04-2017, 11:09 PM   #6
dreamykitten2
Mistress/switch
 
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Maryland in between Baltimore and Wash. DC
Posts: 1,771
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mindfondler View Post
(This is an update to my previous advert from six months ago. As I've explained below, Mrs MF and I have met some great ladies since then who remain good friends but aren't compatible play partners for various reasons)

Summary


I'm looking for a non-exclusive, "no sex" female BDSM play partner with submissive tendencies (age unimportant) in or around London, UK who enjoys sensual and mental play possibly in tandem with my wife who is a switch.

My wife (Mrs MF) helped me to compose this advert and is keen for me to pursue this ambition. She will read any replies (so please say hi to her too!) and will be alongside me at any meetings (helping to eat the cake!). It's vitally important to me that we all "click" and can be friends together, whether in or out of play.


Who am I?


I'm a straight married guy from SE London with a long-standing passion for gentle sensual play, light bondage and nurturing. I'm 52 years old, full of ideas, energy and fun, with looks that I'd describe as "distinguished" (others might say "greying"!) see my profile photo.

My wife (Mrs MF) and I have been exploring BDSM together for the last two years. We're well known in our local kink community and we're regularly seen out at events. We're now seeking to branch out in new directions to supplement our play together.

Over the last few months, Mrs MF and I have met three lovely UK based ladies through our personal adverts. We have spent many happy hours introducing these three ladies to kink, variously talking through the concepts and conventions, enabling them to meet other kinksters at public events, and helping them to join in at a play event. We're flattered that these ladies chose to put their trust in us and we're very pleased to have been able to help them.

My longer term ambition is to find a compatible regular play partner who shares my preferences for slow teasing sensual play, mental play and/or domination games (potentially also involving Mrs MF). I'm realistic that this may take a long time and is most likely to grow out of a friendship that we make.

My older posting Mindfondler's core BDSM fantasy! explains some more of the background to my advert.


What's the deal?


Let me expand on my headline:
  • By "non-exclusive", I mean that I'm entirely happy for you to play with other partners as well. I'm certainly going to continue playing with my wife! Part of the fascination for me is that each person responds differently to the same stimuli. I'd enjoy the challenge of building a connection with someone else and discovering what works best for you.
  • By "no sex", I mean that I'm not seeking to perform overt sexual acts with you. I have no need for that and I'm not looking for it. I'm open to the idea of including a sexual edge in physical play (e.g. light flogging of bum and boobs), but that's something for negotiation and I'll definitely play safe without that agreement.
  • I've written "play partner with submissive tendencies" rather than "submissive" because I'm unable to commit to 24/7 support that might be expected with a full-on D/s relationship. I'm imagining that we'd stay in contact on a regular basis, but a few times a week rather than throughout each day (excepting aftercare, which I'd treat as a special requirement).
  • I've specified London, UK as I want it to be possible for us to get together fairly easily. I'm not looking for an online-only arrangement.
  • I want to learn with you. I have some experience of BDSM but I certainly don't know all of the answers and I want to grow too. I'm a competent and sensible guy, and I'm able to develop strong understanding and empathy with people who "click" with me. Others have said that I'm good at listening, encouraging and challenging (in a positive way), and I'd enjoy taking a nurturing role if you have a need for that.

What do I like?


Here are some activities that I enjoy (not an exhaustive list!):
  • Slow teasing sensual play, perhaps involving blindfolds and light restraint. I'm qualified in Indian Head Massage, so I'm capable of delivering a range of relaxing sensations as well as stronger ones. We could start with this: me just working gently on your arms, shoulders and head without any elements of bondage.
  • Mental games involving anticipation, surprise and release. I'm aware, though, that these require strong trust and a good connection, so they're probably not an option for first play.
  • Domination games in which we engage in a mental and physical battle for control of a situation or role play (but I win, of course!). Again, these require great trust and communication, as well as a lot of shared imagination, so they won't suit everyone.
  • I've also started to explore hypnosis as a means of consensual mental domination. I need to learn more, but I'm finding that I have the right temperament and a good voice for it!

What happens next?


For those who like a detailed plan, read on!

Here's how things might pan out:
  • You read this advert and like it
  • You contact me by Private Message
  • We exchange messages for a while to see if we "click"
  • If so, we move to chat via 'phone, instant messaging or other medium (your choice)
  • If all goes well, then we arrange to meet up somewhere (e.g. local pub or coffee shop)
  • We talk about what we want (types of play, experience levels, ambitions and limits)
  • If we seem compatible, then we shortlist some possible events to go to
  • We attend an event and we try playing together there
  • I administer aftercare (if needed) and we review how things went
  • Hopefully, we do more!
On a week-to-week basis:
  • We keep in touch by online chat and physical meetings (as suits us)
  • We talk about our ambitions and how we're getting on with them
  • There may be nurturing
  • There will definitely be cake!
  • We arrange to go to more events and we prepare for them
  • We go to events and play
Realistically, things can change at any stage:
  • We need to keep reviewing how things are going
  • It's okay for us to grow apart or to agree that it isn't working we can be adult about that
  • I'll be delighted if my nurturing enables you to move on to something bigger and better
  • Hopefully, we'll part company amicably and with good memories
That's just an illustration, though not a prescription.


More about Mrs MF and me


You can read more about us in our writing: Meet Mr and Mrs MF!.

Here's a photo of us enjoying some rope play:

http://forum.literotica.com/attachme...8&d=1461855134


Interested?


Please send me an exploratory message. Let's talk!
.
Why oh why are all the fun ones across the big pond??? Omg you sound like my dream come true!!! Too bad I'm not over there you all would be ideal.
__________________
" Dream the dreams memories are made of"


http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...ge=submissions
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Old 04-12-2017, 01:58 PM   #7
Mindfondler
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamykitten2 View Post
Why oh why are all the fun ones across the big pond??? Omg you sound like my dream come true!!! Too bad I'm not over there you all would be ideal.
Thank you for those kind words! I'm sorry that I'm not on the right side of The Pond for you. Unfortunately I have no plans to relocate!

I'm still looking. I've had several replies to my advert from the UK all sincere and good quality but, after some dialogue, seemingly impractical or unsuitable for reasons that don't reflect adversely on either person. I think it's inevitable that this will happen often between individuals who are discerning and clear about what they want, but I'm still holding out to find that rare magic connection!
.
__________________
My other half is the delightful Tinglebliss.
Visit our Meet Mr and Mrs MF thread and hear our (old) joint introduction.


Read about me in kink and what turns me on and my other interests.
Also, see my photos and listen to my audio clips.


Check out my personals advert for a sparky female sub.
NEW! .Are you our needle in a haystack?


Team PM ..

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Old 04-12-2017, 02:57 PM   #8
dreamykitten2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mindfondler View Post
Thank you for those kind words! I'm sorry that I'm not on the right side of The Pond for you. Unfortunately I have no plans to relocate!

I'm still looking. I've had several replies to my advert from the UK all sincere and good quality but, after some dialogue, seemingly impractical or unsuitable for reasons that don't reflect adversely on either person. I think it's inevitable that this will happen often between individuals who are discerning and clear about what they want, but I'm still holding out to find that rare magic connection!
.
Well I hope you find her. You seem so deserving and I know you will enjoy her
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Old 04-20-2017, 05:11 PM   #9
Mindfondler
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamykitten2 View Post
Well I hope you find her. You seem so deserving and I know you will enjoy her
Thank you!

Still looking! I've just made some changes to the "Summary", "Who am I?", "What do I like?" and "About Mrs MF and me" sections of my top post to clarify and expand upon a few points, in the light of discussions that I've had and helpful feedback that I've received over the last few weeks.

Any nibbles of interest?
.
__________________
My other half is the delightful Tinglebliss.
Visit our Meet Mr and Mrs MF thread and hear our (old) joint introduction.


Read about me in kink and what turns me on and my other interests.
Also, see my photos and listen to my audio clips.


Check out my personals advert for a sparky female sub.
NEW! .Are you our needle in a haystack?


Team PM ..

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Old 04-27-2017, 06:10 AM   #10
Mindfondler
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Still looking! For those who haven't found it, I recorded an audio clip a while ago to introduce myself to Litsters. If you're considering my advert, then that's a good place to start to get a better sense about me. For more, see the links in my signature.
.
__________________
My other half is the delightful Tinglebliss.
Visit our Meet Mr and Mrs MF thread and hear our (old) joint introduction.


Read about me in kink and what turns me on and my other interests.
Also, see my photos and listen to my audio clips.


Check out my personals advert for a sparky female sub.
NEW! .Are you our needle in a haystack?


Team PM ..

  Reply With Quote

Old 04-28-2017, 11:00 PM   #11
gracie920101
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mindfondler View Post
Still looking! For those who haven't found it, I recorded an audio clip a while ago to introduce myself to Litsters. If you're considering my advert, then that's a good place to start to get a better sense about me. For more, see the links in my signature.
.
I usually only lurk thru here as I'm not looking for anyone or anything. I'm just extremely curious by nature. I have to take a moment to express what a lovely thing you added to your advert!

I must confess that I immediately closed my eyes to listen to that terribly proper speech pattern you possess combined with a most melodious modulation and then realized I also had a silly grin on my face by the end of the clip. (Thank goodness J wasn't home or I would have had to explain that grin to him!)

It's rather fun to actually hear someone from this site rather than have them speak only in one's imagination.

Thank you, MF, for the brief and delicious bit of entertainment.
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Old 04-29-2017, 12:43 PM   #12
Mindfondler
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gracie920101 View Post
I usually only lurk thru here as I'm not looking for anyone or anything. I'm just extremely curious by nature. I have to take a moment to express what a lovely thing you added to your advert!

I must confess that I immediately closed my eyes to listen to that terribly proper speech pattern you possess combined with a most melodious modulation and then realized I also had a silly grin on my face by the end of the clip. (Thank goodness J wasn't home or I would have had to explain that grin to him!)

It's rather fun to actually hear someone from this site rather than have them speak only in one's imagination.

Thank you, MF, for the brief and delicious bit of entertainment.
You're most welcome!

The introductory sound clip that you listened to is one that I recorded several years ago. I'm delighted to hear that people are still accessing it and enjoying it. In fact, your description of your reaction gave me a warm glow of pride and satisfaction.

I'm particularly glad to hear that the sound of my voice brought me to life in a way that transcends written text on a page. I hoped that it might work that way!

With that idea in mind, I thought that it might be beneficial for me to record a new audio clip with this personals advert specifically in mind. Maybe it will bring me contact at last with the elusive sub that I'm looking for!

I give you: *rolls drums*

MF's guiding philosophy for D/s play <-- Click to listen to SoundCloud audio clip
.
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My other half is the delightful Tinglebliss.
Visit our Meet Mr and Mrs MF thread and hear our (old) joint introduction.


Read about me in kink and what turns me on and my other interests.
Also, see my photos and listen to my audio clips.


Check out my personals advert for a sparky female sub.
NEW! .Are you our needle in a haystack?


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Old 05-03-2017, 07:43 AM   #13
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Just to add that I've now posted a follow-up audio clip:
MF's Guide to BDSM Terminology <-- Click for SoundCloud audio clip
I'd like to stress that I'm not speaking from a position of assumed authority, but rather as a former BDSM newbie who (with Mrs MF) remembers how confusing these concepts were when we first encountered them two years ago.

I'll be delighted to hear if my explanations are helpful to anyone
.
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My other half is the delightful Tinglebliss.
Visit our Meet Mr and Mrs MF thread and hear our (old) joint introduction.


Read about me in kink and what turns me on and my other interests.
Also, see my photos and listen to my audio clips.


Check out my personals advert for a sparky female sub.
NEW! .Are you our needle in a haystack?


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Old 05-09-2017, 04:37 PM   #14
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GrrlFriday raised a good question about my joint advert with Mrs MF, which is also appropriate as a footnote here (until I get around to re-writing my advert):

Quote:
Originally Posted by GrrlFriday View Post
What do you mean by 'nurturing'?
I've used the "n" word (nurture/nurturing) several times above without properly explaining it. It's a word that I thought sounded appropriate, but I realise now that I'm assuming that other readers understand it in the same way that I do, and with the positive intent that I was trying to convey.

For me, "nurturing" here relates to a gap that Mrs MF and I are both feeling in our lives at the moment. Having successfully raised our children to well-adjusted adulthood, we feel that have a lot to offer to someone who can benefit from our support not broken but just in need of friendship, encouragement and a reliable structure to help them achieve goals that they find challenging. That's the concept that I was trying to express, together with a sense of what I get out of the arrangement.

I hope that's helpful.
.
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My other half is the delightful Tinglebliss.
Visit our Meet Mr and Mrs MF thread and hear our (old) joint introduction.


Read about me in kink and what turns me on and my other interests.
Also, see my photos and listen to my audio clips.


Check out my personals advert for a sparky female sub.
NEW! .Are you our needle in a haystack?


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Old 05-16-2017, 01:22 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mindfondler View Post
(This is an update to my previous advert from six months ago (see "NEW!" below). As I'll explain, Mrs MF and I have met some great ladies since then who remain good friends but aren't compatible play partners for various reasons)


Summary


I'm looking for a non-exclusive, "no sex" female BDSM play partner with submissive tendencies (age and experience unimportant) in or around London, UK who enjoys the concept of mental D/s play and who would like to learn more about it with me possibly in tandem with my wife who is a switch.


Who am I?


I'm a straight, happily married guy from SE London (UK). I'm fascinated by the mental aspects of domination and submission: the way that an agreed transfer of power and control between rational people can become an exhilarating ride "in the head". My experience so far has been mostly in the physical domain: "topping" my wife (Mrs MF) who enjoys gentle sensual play and light bondage.

(Mrs MF helped me to compose this advert and is keen for me to pursue my ambition. She will read any replies and help me to review them, so please say hi to her too!)

Physically, I'm 52 years old, in good shape (lots of running!), with looks that I'd describe as "distinguished" (others might say "greying"!) see my profile photo. In my head, though, I'm a lot younger: full of ideas, energy and fun. I treasure good friendship, connection and emotional intimacy. I'd expect a compatible play partner to share those values and be prepared to open up with me (I'll do likewise) and on topics much wider than just kink.

I have a strong nurturing instinct, so lack of kink experience isn't any barrier to me. On the contrary, I'd enjoy the opportunity to teach as well as learn, and to re-live the thrills of discovering kink through someone else's eyes.

My wife (Mrs MF) and I have been exploring BDSM together for the last two years. We're well known and respected in our local kink community and we're regularly seen out at events. We're now both seeking to branch out individually in new directions to supplement our play together.

Over the last nine months, Mrs MF and I have met several lovely UK based ladies through our personal adverts. We've spent many happy hours introducing them to kink, variously talking through the concepts and conventions, enabling them to meet other kinksters at public events, and helping them to join in at a play event. We're flattered that these ladies chose to put their trust in us and we're very pleased to have been able to help them.

I'm still looking for a play partner, though! For various reasons of impracticality or unsuitability that don't reflect adversely on anyone, the ladies that I've met so far haven't fitted the bill. My long term ambition is to find a compatible lady who shares my interest in slow teasing sensual play, mental play and domination games. I'm realistic that this may take a long time and is most likely to grow out of a friendship that Mrs MF and I make.

My older posting Mindfondler's core BDSM fantasy! explains some more of the background to my advert.


What's the deal?


Let me expand on my headline:
  • By "non-exclusive", I mean that I'm entirely happy for you to play with other partners as well. I'm certainly going to continue playing with my wife! Part of the fascination for me is that each person responds differently to the same stimuli. I'd enjoy the challenge of building a connection with someone else and discovering what works best for you.
  • By "no sex", I mean that I'm not seeking to perform overt sexual acts with you. I have no need for that and I'm not looking for it. I'm open to the idea of including a sexual edge in physical play (e.g. light flogging of bum and boobs), but that's something for negotiation and I'll definitely play safe without that agreement.
  • I've written "play partner with submissive tendencies" rather than "submissive" because I'm unable to commit to 24/7 support that might be expected with a full-on D/s relationship. I'm imagining that we'd stay in contact on a regular basis, but a few times a week rather than throughout each day (excepting aftercare, which I'd treat as a special requirement).
  • I've specified London, UK as I want it to be possible for us to get together fairly easily. I'm not looking for an online-only arrangement.
  • I want to learn with you. I have some experience of BDSM but I certainly don't know all of the answers and I want to grow too. I'm a competent and sensible guy, and I'm able to develop strong understanding and empathy with people who "click" with me. Others have said that I'm good at listening, encouraging and challenging (in a positive way), and I'd enjoy taking a nurturing role if you have a need for that.

What do I like?


Here are some activities that I enjoy (not an exhaustive list!):
  • Slow teasing sensual play, perhaps involving blindfolds and light restraint. I'm qualified in Indian Head Massage, so I'm capable of delivering a range of relaxing sensations as well as stronger ones. We could start with this: me just working gently on your arms, shoulders and head without any elements of bondage.
  • Mental games involving anticipation, surprise and release. Concepts such as predicament play and primal play excite me, and I'd love to explore them with a willing sub. I'm aware, though, that they require strong trust and a good connection, so they're not an option for first play.
  • Domination games in which we engage in a mental and physical battle for control of a situation or role play (but I win, of course!). Again, these require great trust and communication, as well as a lot of shared imagination, so they won't suit everyone.
  • I've also started to explore hypnosis as a means of consensual mental domination. I need to learn more, but I'm finding that I have the right temperament and a good voice for it!

What happens next?


For those who like a detailed plan, read on!

Here's how things might pan out:
  • You read this advert and like it
  • You contact me by Private Message
  • We exchange messages for a while to see if we "click"
  • If so, we move to chat via 'phone, instant messaging or other medium (your choice)
  • If all goes well, then we arrange to meet up somewhere (e.g. local pub or coffee shop)
  • We talk about what we want (types of play, experience levels, ambitions and limits)
  • If we seem compatible, then we shortlist some possible events to go to
  • We attend an event and we try playing together there
  • I administer aftercare (if needed) and we review how things went
  • Hopefully, we do more!
On a week-to-week basis:
  • We keep in touch by online chat and physical meetings (as suits us)
  • We talk about our ambitions and how we're getting on with them
  • There may be nurturing
  • There will definitely be cake!
  • We arrange to go to more events and we prepare for them
  • We go to events and play
Realistically, things can change at any stage:
  • We need to keep reviewing how things are going
  • It's okay for us to grow apart or to agree that it isn't working we can be adult about that
  • I'll be delighted if my nurturing enables you to move on to something bigger and better
  • Hopefully, we'll part company amicably and with good memories
That's just an illustration, though not a prescription.


About Mrs MF and me


As I mentioned earlier, my wife (Mrs MF) helped me to compose this advert and is keen for me to pursue this ambition. Our marriage is a harmonious one and we enjoy our play together in the domains that we have in common. Here's a photo of us engaging in some rope play (you'll need to click on the link as this section of the forum doesn't allow embedded images):
http://forum.literotica.com/attachme...8&d=1461855134
You can read more about us in our writing: Meet Mr and Mrs MF!.


NEW! (3rd May 2017)

Listen to me describe my guiding philosophy for D/s play! <-- SoundCloud audio clip
Listen to my guide to BDSM terminology! <-- SoundCloud audio clip
Important: In my audio clips as above, I'm not speaking from any position of assumed authority, but rather from the perspective of a former newbie who (with Mrs MF) remembers how confusing these concepts were when we first encountered them two years ago.


Interested?


Please send me an exploratory message. Let's talk!
.
This! This is what an ad should be! Detailed and complete, written by an actual member of the Lit community and not a ghost ID that only exists in the personals. Beautifully done, sir!

Why must you be on an entirely different continent?
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*Disclaimer: The author of this post enjoys all manner of smut and frequently engages in flirting, teasing, alliteration, and rhyming. Any similarities to persons real or imagined is purely coincidental. Unless said person likes it. In that case ... you're welcome.

"She craved the darkness, but always asked the wrong man to turn out the lights." - Andy Martello, Pretty Words. Nothing More.
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Old 05-16-2017, 06:15 PM   #16
Mindfondler
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ViciousTease View Post
This! This is what an ad should be! Detailed and complete, written by an actual member of the Lit community and not a ghost ID that only exists in the personals. Beautifully done, sir!
Thank you very much!

I'm pleased to say that my advert has had a better reception here than on a thread in another place that shall not be named, where the only responses were several rounds of abuse from one seemingly insane woman and a terse reply of "TL;DR" from a Domme (well... duh... it wasn't aimed at you!).

Quote:
Originally Posted by ViciousTease View Post
Why must you be on an entirely different continent?
I keep hearing that! I'm sorry I didn't plan my place of birth carefully enough.
.
__________________
My other half is the delightful Tinglebliss.
Visit our Meet Mr and Mrs MF thread and hear our (old) joint introduction.


Read about me in kink and what turns me on and my other interests.
Also, see my photos and listen to my audio clips.


Check out my personals advert for a sparky female sub.
NEW! .Are you our needle in a haystack?


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Old 05-16-2017, 08:56 PM   #17
ViciousTease
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mindfondler View Post
I keep hearing that! I'm sorry I didn't plan my place of birth carefully enough.
I forgive you.
__________________
*Disclaimer: The author of this post enjoys all manner of smut and frequently engages in flirting, teasing, alliteration, and rhyming. Any similarities to persons real or imagined is purely coincidental. Unless said person likes it. In that case ... you're welcome.

"She craved the darkness, but always asked the wrong man to turn out the lights." - Andy Martello, Pretty Words. Nothing More.
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Old 05-28-2017, 01:15 PM   #18
Mindfondler
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ViciousTease View Post
I forgive you.
Thank you!

Here's a little bump for my own advert (as above) and a promotion for the one that Mrs MF (tinglebliss) has recently started in the Lit Personals section:

Curious about kink? Caring established couple seeks tentative submissive UK ladies!

You can contact either of us about either advert.
.
__________________
My other half is the delightful Tinglebliss.
Visit our Meet Mr and Mrs MF thread and hear our (old) joint introduction.


Read about me in kink and what turns me on and my other interests.
Also, see my photos and listen to my audio clips.


Check out my personals advert for a sparky female sub.
NEW! .Are you our needle in a haystack?


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Old 06-22-2017, 07:20 PM   #19
Mindfondler
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I haven't bumped this thread for a while.

Any new interest?
.
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My other half is the delightful Tinglebliss.
Visit our Meet Mr and Mrs MF thread and hear our (old) joint introduction.


Read about me in kink and what turns me on and my other interests.
Also, see my photos and listen to my audio clips.


Check out my personals advert for a sparky female sub.
NEW! .Are you our needle in a haystack?


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Old 07-07-2017, 01:41 PM   #20
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Nudging again! One never knows when someone new might look in.
.
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My other half is the delightful Tinglebliss.
Visit our Meet Mr and Mrs MF thread and hear our (old) joint introduction.


Read about me in kink and what turns me on and my other interests.
Also, see my photos and listen to my audio clips.


Check out my personals advert for a sparky female sub.
NEW! .Are you our needle in a haystack?


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Old 07-13-2017, 08:48 AM   #21
Nzerxx
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Hate to disappoint but I am with the others on here

Why oh why are you not in New Zealand????
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Old 07-13-2017, 02:01 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nzerxx View Post
Hate to disappoint but I am with the others on here

Why oh why are you not in New Zealand????
I'd like to be in New Zealand! It would be my choice of second home, and I hope that tinglebliss and I will be able to visit NZ and tour there for a while when funds, time and personal circumstances permit.

Thanks for your interest, though. It's great to hear that my advert has appeal, even if it's to people on different continents.
.
__________________
My other half is the delightful Tinglebliss.
Visit our Meet Mr and Mrs MF thread and hear our (old) joint introduction.


Read about me in kink and what turns me on and my other interests.
Also, see my photos and listen to my audio clips.


Check out my personals advert for a sparky female sub.
NEW! .Are you our needle in a haystack?


Team PM ..

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Old 07-14-2017, 02:16 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mindfondler View Post
I'd like to be in New Zealand! It would be my choice of second home, and I hope that tinglebliss and I will be able to visit NZ and tour there for a while when funds, time and personal circumstances permit.

Thanks for your interest, though. It's great to hear that my advert has appeal, even if it's to people on different continents.
.
Oh I'm sure you guys would love it....most visitors do
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Old 07-16-2017, 01:42 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nzerxx View Post
Oh I'm sure you guys would love it....most visitors do
I'm guessing that the ones who don't are Australian and they're just jealous!

tinglebliss and I were reflecting sadly today that we've met a lot of newcomers to kink through our adverts over the last couple of years, but that it's rare for those individuals to give any feedback to others that we truly are friendly and helpful people, congruent with our description of ourselves. That would help to break down the prevailing cynicism and sense of "stranger danger" that may inhibit others from getting in touch with us.

I'm not being critical here, though. It's understandable that those concerned don't wish to break cover and we wouldn't ever compromise them in that way. All that I can ask is that anyone reading this advert (and our other ones) bears with us on our statement that we've successfully met many people despite the apparent lack of evidence.

(I'm wondering now whether we could find an "honest broker" on here to vouch for us)
.
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My other half is the delightful Tinglebliss.
Visit our Meet Mr and Mrs MF thread and hear our (old) joint introduction.


Read about me in kink and what turns me on and my other interests.
Also, see my photos and listen to my audio clips.


Check out my personals advert for a sparky female sub.
NEW! .Are you our needle in a haystack?


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Old 07-17-2017, 02:34 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mindfondler View Post
I'm guessing that the ones who don't are Australian and they're just jealous!

I like you even more now!

Good luck with your search

Last edited by Nzerxx : 07-17-2017 at 02:36 AM.
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