That moment in 50 shades darker

It's not real(istic). It's not BDSM. But I've seen worse.

I'll admit to having only watched some bits of the first film, but god that woman irritated me. If some dude turned up at a bar, told me to stop drinking and then punch my best friend in the face, I'd be punching HIM in the face, not going all weak at the knees. I'm know the end result was that he wasn't really right, but the fact that she went along with it all in the first place made my skin crawl. I lost any potential for empathising with her at that point. And ultimately it just fed into the whole Mills & Boon 'if you're a good enough woman, you will heal the damaged man' trope ... because, of course, our purpose in life is healing damaged men. Blurgh.
Oh - and yeah, the riding crop scene was just freaking laughable. I spent the whole thing wanting to yell out 'put some WEIGHT into it!'.

Secretary is just lovely - two of my favourite actors in such a nicely observed film about a relationship. But with a subtlety that means it would be unlikely to succeed in the mainstream.

KimGordon67 said:

I'll admit to having only watched some bits of the first film, but god that woman irritated me. If some dude turned up at a bar, told me to stop drinking and then punch my best friend in the face, I'd be punching HIM in the face, not going all weak at the knees. I'm know the end result was that he wasn't really right, but the fact that she went along with it all in the first place made my skin crawl. I lost any potential for empathising with her at that point. And ultimately it just fed into the whole Mills & Boon 'if you're a good enough woman, you will heal the damaged man' trope ... because, of course, our purpose in life is healing damaged men. Blurgh.
Oh - and yeah, the riding crop scene was just freaking laughable. I spent the whole thing wanting to yell out 'put some WEIGHT into it!'.

Secretary is just lovely - two of my favourite actors in such a nicely observed film about a relationship. But with a subtlety that means it would be unlikely to succeed in the mainstream.

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Love this whole thing.
Yes to all.

NewDomE said:

there were 2 parts in this movie which I found to be exceptional:

1. Where he took the gun from her hand, looked at her and said "Kneel!" and the way she did it

2. The part where he asked her not to leave and when it looked like she wouldn't lsten, the way he KNEELED for HER

VERY, VERY powerful the way these were done!

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I just seen the movie for the first time as it was released on digital yesterday and thought I would read what you all thought. I love sharing movie thoughts after seeing a movie. And I was so happy to see NewDomE's commit as I felt the exact same thing. I know this is not a favorite movie in the community but for me the books opened up eyes and sent me on my search a few years ago. I agree with you all that some parts of the move are rather silly but I gotta say when grey took the gun from her and the way he told her to kneel and how she did so without looking st him and her soft whimper as his hand was placed on her head. The way he took care of her. Ok guys it made me cry and I totally identifity with the psycho in the movie and the feeling of dropping to your knees in that way. And again when grey dropped to his knees not looking up and his hands facing up in total submission. Both parts were to me very real.

As someone who's intro to BDSM was 50 shades, I have to say I felt it was a very inaccurate portrayal of BDSM and Dominants. I guess because he is really a Sadist it is to be expected, though when I think Sadist, Christian Grey doesn't hold a candle to what I imagine a real Sadist to be like.

Still it did build a bridge that started a conversation between my wife and I that we should have had almost 20 years ago...

It doesn't paint a healthy picture of BDSM, or an accurate one as far as I can tell from what I have learned so far, but it did seem to get people talking about the subject. The story line seems ridiculous but most books and movies are. Still I enjoyed watching them, maybe not as much as my wife, but I didn't feel like I had just lost 2 hours of my life I couldn't get back.


I have to say I enjoyed The Secretary much more than either of the 50 shades. It felt real to me. It also seemed to give a really good example of how something that looks so strange from the outside can be a healthy relationship on the inside because hey, what you need from a relationship isn't the same as everyone else and that is really what people need to realize.

I always think we could make an amazing film showing real bdsm through a variety of lenses by making the experiences and people from this group into a movie. I'm not a 50 shades fan at all

I haven't seen any of the movies (even Secretary)...don't have much time for watching movies or tv. It seems most people here didn't like it because it wasn't 'real BDSM'. Just wondering, aside from the 'badness' of the movie, do you think it's a good thing that so many 'vanilla' people loved it and brought a little kink into their life as a result or a bad thing because they didn't get an accurate impression of BDSM?

Iamsubmissive said:

Just wondering, aside from the 'badness' of the movie, do you think it's a good thing that so many 'vanilla' people loved it and brought a little kink into their life as a result or a bad thing because they didn't get an accurate impression of BDSM?

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Can it be both?

I dislike 50SoG for the same reasons that many other BDSMers dislike it. But that doesn't preclude it being a positive for some people.

Bramblethorn said:

Can it be both?

I dislike 50SoG for the same reasons that many other BDSMers dislike it. But that doesn't preclude it being a positive for some people.

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I can see it as being both, but I see complaints that non BDSM people who watch this film are getting the wrong impression of BDSM. It sheds a bad light on it, or you end up with a bunch of newbies that think it's all just a bunch of fun and games...that kind of negative opinions. And those are probably correct assumptions, but just wondering if the good outweighs the bad...more people showing an interest, opening up the doors to explore more, some people improving their sex life and adding a little spice to it...so, if the movie sucked but the results or effects from it are good...does it really suck? Maybe the movie fulfilled its purpose? Just pondering this...