First erotic story; need someone to look it over

So I've all but finished my story, which is a one-shot PWP lesbian/voyeur piece. As it's my first time publishing anything like this, I'd appreciate it if someone gave it a read through for errors, etc. I'm reasonably happy with but would be nice.....thanks!

How long is it?

I've found someone to read it now

Ah don't worry, it'll be posted soon anyway.