Star Wars, sex and droids

I've been thinking about the ubiquitous nature of droids in the Star Wars universe. Seems like the little buggers are everywhere, roughly as common as pets (which seem to be absent). Droids hang out with their people, are intelligent, presumably tied into the internet, and can talk. So what happens when their people get it on? Kick the droids out? Or, the droids could serve as coaches/assistants/advocates for their people.

Scene: Finn, with C3PO, gets busy with Rey and BB-8
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Finn: C3PO, I'm ready. Put a condom on me.

C3PO: Right away Sir. I've take the liberty of choosing the ribbed model. 'It's ribbed for her pleasure'

Finn: What

C3PO: It's ribbed for her pleasure, sir

Finn: TF you talking about, droid?

C3PO: It's...ribbed for your pleasure, sir

Finn: Niiiiice.

<Finn slams it home>

C3PO: Sir, BB-8 reports she prefers it from behind.

Finn: Got it. <flips her over>

C3PO to BB-8: Can you get her to make some noise? He likes it when she praises his cock.

BB-8 whistles.

Rey: Yeah, fuck me with that BBC!

C3PO: Sir, BB-8 reports that she likes getting her ass smacked.

Finn: Got it. <smack>.

Rey: Yeah, spank my ass!

C3PO: Sir, I must advise you to pull out. You're getting too close.
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Would probably have to post this in the Humor section.

I'm laughing with what you've written already!

What if the story didn't use established characters? The world's oldest profession would be alive and well- even a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Imagine a Twi-lek prostitute named Numa that uses an HK-47 assassination droid as her pimp/bodyguard.

Numa: Got anything for me, HK?

HK-47: I have indeed located a meatbag that would like to meet you, he even has sufficient credits.

Numa: And why is he not here? You didn't remove another one's leg, did you?

HK-47: I assure you, he is quite intact. He will be here momentarily, after he finishes his beverage. I suggested to him that he should be well hydrated.

Numa: Yea, well, at least you're trying to be polite, I guess. He better be quick and easy, we need two or three more today before we can pay off the Hutts.

HK-47: I would gladly take care of the Hutts in my prefered manner. I don't understand why you won't allow me to serve you properly, it's not logical.

Numa: My way is safer, you can't kill them all.

HK-47: I believe I could, given the order. In any case, my sensors indicate that your next meatbag will be here momentarily. I will watch from the corner and be prepared to defend you should the need arise.

Numa: Remember, spanking my ass is fine. You don't need to shoot off another hand. HK? Do you think I'm a meatbag, too?

HK-47: Of course you are a meatbag. However, it would be appropriate for me to consider you as a meat container, if that is preferable.

astuffedshirt_perv said:

C3PO: Sir, BB-8 reports that she likes getting her ass smacked.

Click to expand...

Should that be "arse?"

Interesting

I remember watching a scene where a Female Sith ambushes a Jedi. They end up using the force to strip each other naked and the Sith ends up beating the guy, forces him to sleep with her, then kills him with force lightning. I always remember how much I enjoyed the forced nudity and underlying humiliation.

You could make a story with a similar type.

DMBFFF said:

Should that be "arse?"

Click to expand...

Depends if you're British or not.

guys and gals you are all forgetting the simpliest solution to this, have droids with interchangable parts. For example one of my personal favorites an interchangable hand for a droid that "vibrates" at the user's choosing. Or even dual vibrating dildos to stick between the droid's legs.

John Blackhawk said:

guys and gals you are all forgetting the simpliest solution to this, have droids with interchangable parts. For example one of my personal favorites an interchangable hand for a droid that "vibrates" at the user's choosing. Or even dual vibrating dildos to stick between the droid's legs.

Click to expand...

"Not tonight, A1LM."

Those moisture farmers on Tattooine get lonely sometimes.

And how do you think Ben Kenobi coped with being a lonely hermit out in the desert? It's a long ride into Mos Eisley and you know he didn't have the money for the prostitutes there.

I am a HUGE 'Star Wars Nerd' and know way too much and more then I should about Star Wars (LOL), That being said, Star Wars lesbian stories would be hot

So, are there continued ideas for a Lit story here...?

kittenkrystal96 said:

I am a HUGE 'Star Wars Nerd' and know way too much and more then I should about Star Wars (LOL), That being said, Star Wars lesbian stories would be hot

Click to expand...

You should take a look at HandcuffGirl, she has some lesbian star wars stuff. Also my other thread, Star Wars II