Confess Your Embarrassing Boner Stories!

I was quite young, but my penis was nearly full grown. Dad's family was visiting. We kids were told to get ready for bed and come say 'good night.'

My pajama pants were extremely stretchy, they could be pulled over my head. My mother told me to show the guests. I pulled the waistband over my head. On the way down I heard nervous tittering. That is when I realized that I had an erection and it had caught on the material and was sticking straight out.
 
Several years ago it was time for my annual physical. I was going to a group of DR's and several of them had Nurse Practitioners that worked with them. I was told my regular DR was tied up but if I was OK with it that one of the NP's would be in.

In walks an older but very lovely woman and boy was she hot. Carol was her name and she was a grandmother but you'd never know it. I am betting she was near 60 but she looked in her 30's. She was wearing a sun dress with the white lab coat and then I noticed these hot black boots. Good lord this woman had a body and she was just so talkative and had a wonderful smile.

So she does all the normal stuff, BP, temperature, pulse, you know the drill. Well being over 45 you normally get the prostrate exam .. but wait ... she's a woman and damn it she's hot as hell. I was told to drop the pants and underwear. She said if you're uncomfortable just say the word and she'd let one of the male DR's come in and do the exam.

Well me being me I thought to myself, hell no I am not embarrassed so I proceeded to get get naked. She turns around from writing her notes, takes a seat on her stool and rolls it closer to me. She looks up and you could see the expression on her face change quickly. She said well there's something you don't see everyday. I wondered WTH was she talking about. Then I realized she was talking about seeing a man totally shaved & tanned. I said well I have found it's more comfortable to shave than letting nature take over.

She takes my cock in her gloved hand and that's where it got serious. I could feel my manhood waking up like a three alarm fire bell went off. She then cups my balls and holy shit I am looking down at this totally gorgeous woman just inches from my cock and holding my boys. She say turn your head and cough. Hell I couldn't even cough because all my attention was on not letting my cock get harder (which it was). OK cough stupid. Now turn your head and cough again. Damn she was still cupping my balls. You feel her finger tips right behind my balls and that has always been a super sensitive spot for me. She then said can I ask you a question? Does your wife like you being shaved? Oh yes, she does was my reply. We kind of make it a game where we take care of each other. Meanwhile I am full 7" attention and no where to hide.

OK now turn around and lean over the exam table. Damn I had forgotten what was coming next. She spreads my ass and slowly slides that finger inside. I am thinking dear God please don't let cum now. I guess she was having trouble finding the ole prostrate because she had to go a second time. So many dirty thoughts running through my head. I swear I could have cum right then and there. Frankly I am surprised I didn't. Finally she says OK, clean the lube up and you can put your pants on.

She made a few notes and then we talked. In one way I was glad it was over but my dirty mind was wondering if I didn't need a second exam ..lol. From that day forward she was the DR I wanted to see anytime I ever had to go to the DR's office. She always gave me a hug when she came in the room. We moved last year and damn I sure do miss seeing her.
 
Several years ago it was time for my annual physical. I was going to a group of DR's and several of them had Nurse Practitioners that worked with them. I was told my regular DR was tied up but if I was OK with it that one of the NP's would be in.

In walks an older but very lovely woman and boy was she hot. Carol was her name and she was a grandmother but you'd never know it. I am betting she was near 60 but she looked in her 30's. She was wearing a sun dress with the white lab coat and then I noticed these hot black boots. Good lord this woman had a body and she was just so talkative and had a wonderful smile.

So she does all the normal stuff, BP, temperature, pulse, you know the drill. Well being over 45 you normally get the prostrate exam .. but wait ... she's a woman and damn it she's hot as hell. I was told to drop the pants and underwear. She said if you're uncomfortable just say the word and she'd let one of the male DR's come in and do the exam.

Well me being me I thought to myself, hell no I am not embarrassed so I proceeded to get get naked. She turns around from writing her notes, takes a seat on her stool and rolls it closer to me. She looks up and you could see the expression on her face change quickly. She said well there's something you don't see everyday. I wondered WTH was she talking about. Then I realized she was talking about seeing a man totally shaved & tanned. I said well I have found it's more comfortable to shave than letting nature take over.

She takes my cock in her gloved hand and that's where it got serious. I could feel my manhood waking up like a three alarm fire bell went off. She then cups my balls and holy shit I am looking down at this totally gorgeous woman just inches from my cock and holding my boys. She say turn your head and cough. Hell I couldn't even cough because all my attention was on not letting my cock get harder (which it was). OK cough stupid. Now turn your head and cough again. Damn she was still cupping my balls. You feel her finger tips right behind my balls and that has always been a super sensitive spot for me. She then said can I ask you a question? Does your wife like you being shaved? Oh yes, she does was my reply. We kind of make it a game where we take care of each other. Meanwhile I am full 7" attention and no where to hide.

OK now turn around and lean over the exam table. Damn I had forgotten what was coming next. She spreads my ass and slowly slides that finger inside. I am thinking dear God please don't let cum now. I guess she was having trouble finding the ole prostrate because she had to go a second time. So many dirty thoughts running through my head. I swear I could have cum right then and there. Frankly I am surprised I didn't. Finally she says OK, clean the lube up and you can put your pants on.

She made a few notes and then we talked. In one way I was glad it was over but my dirty mind was wondering if I didn't need a second exam ..lol. From that day forward she was the DR I wanted to see anytime I ever had to go to the DR's office. She always gave me a hug when she came in the room. We moved last year and damn I sure do miss seeing her.

too bad you weren't wearing your cock ring...
 
A few years ago, I was traveling in a public transport bus. I was one of few early passengers. Among other fellow travelers, there was a recently married woman with her mother-in-law. She was in her early twenties. I was sitting on a reconstructed seat, made for accommodation of around ten people. She was sitting on the opposite end of that huge seat. It was festive season so bus got extremely crowded. We pushed towards each other. After sometime, we were sitting next to each other. Her mother-in-law told her to switch the places, but she refused.

Our journey started. She was tense because of the involuntary touching of our bodies. I tried my best to avoid the physical contact with her, but it was impossible due to the pushes from all directions.

After some time she relaxed a bit. We were almost pressed together. I realized she was getting excited by our situation. She moved very close to fill the small gap between us. She started touching my thighs, first with fingers and then with her palm. Her touching produced a huge boner in my pants. I put my shopping bag in front of me to hide my boner. She did the same and put her bag in front of her. By then, we had a bag barrier against our body. We can do anything behind the bags. She figured that out and moved her arms to give me an easy access to her breasts.

I accepted the invitation and placed my free hand on her breasts. She grabbed my hand and placed it under her clothes. I started fondling her breasts. She had a fantastic body and great pair of breasts. She pulled her bra up (under her clothes) to give me better access to her heavenly breasts. For next twenty minutes, I fondle her breasts and played with her nipples. She pretended to sleep. I even try to explore the region below her waist, which was quite difficult to do in the sitting position.

Here’s the twist in the tale. There was a couple, standing in front of me. The wife was facing me while her husband was facing the opposite side. She might have guessed the activity behind the bag barrier. She turned away from me so her ass was in front of me. She brushed her ass on my left knee a couple of times, and then she did a strange thing. She spread her legs and set on my left knee. She was a short woman, around four feet tall. Because of her short frame, the people around her couldn’t tell, either she was standing or seating on someone’s knee. She shamelessly started rubbing her covered pussy on my knee. I could feel the soft covered flesh of her pussy on my knee. I had a ragging boner in my pants. I was still fondling the breasts of the woman next to me.

Then, the woman next to me came. I could tell that because she squeezed my hand and her whole body trembled when the orgasm hit her. I didn’t know whether the woman who was using my knee came or not, but her rubbing continued for at least fifteen minutes.

The bus stopped and I realized that I reached at my destination so I got up with a huge bulge in my pants. I had to put the shopping bag in front of me to hide the obvious tent.

I had to relieve myself when I reached home. I think the two women might also have a great night with their partners.
 
Back in college, a bunch of us gathered in a room to watch The Shining. There is a scene in it in which a beautiful women steps naked out of a bathtub and walks slowly toward the camera. There was a young fellow sitting next to me, and I noticed him shifting in his seat a bit. I looked down and saw a bulge that threatened to poke out the leg hole of the gym shorts he had on. He tried to casually hide it with his forearm, but I made sure to whisper to him, "I think you like her." He just stared at the screen as his cheeks turned pink.

The scene.
 
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Back in college, a bunch of us gathered in a room to watch The Shining. There is a scene in it in which a beautiful women steps naked out of a bathtub and walks slowly toward the camera. There was a young fellow sitting next to me, and I noticed him shifting in his seat a bit. I looked down and saw a bulge that threatened to poke out the leg hole of the gym shorts he had on. He tried to casually hide it with his forearm, but I made sure to whisper to him, "I think you like her." He just stared at the screen as his cheeks turned pink.

This reminds me very much of one of my embarrassing events, also at a movie. I'd gone with a group of four of us guys with four girls to an X rated movie. I'd kicked back in my seat with my feet up on the back of the next row of seats. But, unknown to me, my fly was down, and I was commando, so as the good scenes started, I popped a big one, which I normally did, but not under these conditions. I hear giggles, and muffled laughs, then quiet, and more giggles, then some whispers. Yep, the girls had figured this one out, and embarrassed I was!!

And yes... that bathtub scene STILL gives me a nice boner.. right up till he sees her in the mirror!
 
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One more story that perhaps isn't 'embarrassing', but it's a personal favorite 'boner story', so I offer for your entertainment...

Reverse cowgirl has long been one position I consistently come back to with fond memories, seeing as how that was how I joined the mile high club, with a petite little nurse/coworker and obviously sex interest. She got naked and started with very fine oral skills, then used the seat belts to balance and lower herself onto me as I (attempted) to fly the plane. Certain the ups and downs got some attention from the ground too, or at least it seemed like we were doing pretty good vertical mamba. She was a gift!
 
As I've mentioned before I love jerking my husband off in a dark but crowded movie theater. I really want to join the Mile High Club though! :D

Thanks BG and CB!
 
As I've mentioned before I love jerking my husband off in a dark but crowded movie theater. I really want to join the Mile High Club though! :D

Thanks BG and CB!

Sounds like you have all the skills for one handed mile high club

One date long ago with a friend's wife's beautiful bridesmaid, uncontrollable hardon forced me to keep my hand in my pocket all evening. Never been so hard for so long. All to end with no condoms... other methods were employed for mutual relief
 
Sounds like you have all the skills for one handed mile high club

One date long ago with a friend's wife's beautiful bridesmaid, uncontrollable hardon forced me to keep my hand in my pocket all evening. Never been so hard for so long. All to end with no condoms... other methods were employed for mutual relief

That's so very hot! Delayed gratification...
 
When I was 18, I spent the night at my best friend. We walked back to my house in the morning to get some clothes. Upon arrival at my house, we heard Kylie Minogue blasting through the hifi. Peeking through the lounge window, we saw my mother dressed in a spandex aerobics outfit and stiletto heels - a married man from the gym taking photos of her while she danced and bent over for him. He spanked her ass, rearranged her thong and laughed as she posed for him. My friend was staring wide eyed and drooling, smiling like he had hit the lotto.
As my mother knelt down to unzip her guest's pants, my cell phone rang. She froze and looked directly at us, her hand around the man's hard cock. I fumbled for my phone and ducked down but it was too late. She stormed outside and proceeded to spank me with her guest's belt while my friend watched. My shorts revealed my throbbing erection and it didn't go unnoticed. I jerked off later while the guest fucked her from behind

msg me- we can discuss our moms! turn pm's on.
 
I was on a trans-pacific flight many years ago.... knowing that it was going to be all night on a plane, I wore some comfy, loose fitting linen pants. Very lightweight and flowy. Shared a row (3 seats) with just a young woman, she had the window, I had the aisle seat. Blanket on and to sleep I went. At some point in the flight she woke me up to get by and go to the lavatory, so I stumble up and out of my seat.... and only as she's past and I'm about to sit back down to I realize that I had a full erection, protruding quite obviously to anyone who happened to look :eek:
 
I was on a trans-pacific flight many years ago.... knowing that it was going to be all night on a plane, I wore some comfy, loose fitting linen pants. Very lightweight and flowy. Shared a row (3 seats) with just a young woman, she had the window, I had the aisle seat. Blanket on and to sleep I went. At some point in the flight she woke me up to get by and go to the lavatory, so I stumble up and out of my seat.... and only as she's past and I'm about to sit back down to I realize that I had a full erection, protruding quite obviously to anyone who happened to look :eek:

:( I've never had that kind of visual on my flight.
 
Not so much embarassing....

I used to work at Walt Disney World in Orlando as a game show host. It was a small theater that we performed the show in. I was doing the show, and I noticed a stacked woman in the front row. She had her legs crossed and she was moving her leg up and down on her knee, which in turn made her huge breasts bounce. I couldn't help but look, and get hard.

Until her boyfriend/husband/whoever he was with noticed and told her to stop by pointing to me.....

awkward
 
:( I've never had that kind of visual on my flight.

I haven't been on very many planes, but a couple of times I've seen guys walking down the aisle with what look like pretty big boners. My husband says it's the cabin pressure. Does anyone know if that's true? I might have to fly to Macau (by myself) in the next couple of weeks and would love to know if this is true or not in case there's a guy sitting next to me. I'd like to know whether I should forgive him or ask the stewardess if there's another seat because I do NOT plan to offer to help him out! lol

Luckily they say they'll send me "business class" which I assume is somewhere between regular and first class right? (I've never flown business class or first class so I have no idea what to expect - I just know it's a long ass flight from Las Vegas to Macau! :eek:)
 
I haven't been on very many planes, but a couple of times I've seen guys walking down the aisle with what look like pretty big boners. My husband says it's the cabin pressure. Does anyone know if that's true? I might have to fly to Macau (by myself) in the next couple of weeks and would love to know if this is true or not in case there's a guy sitting next to me. I'd like to know whether I should forgive him or ask the stewardess if there's another seat because I do NOT plan to offer to help him out! lol

Luckily they say they'll send me "business class" which I assume is somewhere between regular and first class right? (I've never flown business class or first class so I have no idea what to expect - I just know it's a long ass flight from Las Vegas to Macau! :eek:)

I think sitting by you on a long will give most men a boner, Liz.....:D
 
Last week during our heatwave (it was like 115-120 everyday for a week) my husband and I came home from work together one day and found our babysitter chasing our two girls around the kitchen fresh out of the pool. She is blonde and VERY pretty and she was wearing the cute, sky blue string bikini she wore all last year but this year she is filling it out much, much, MUCH more than she did last year.

My poor husband and I just stood there watching as our kids ran circles around us and then dashed back outside. She paused and turned to us, heaving a little from being out of breath as the water droplets beaded on her sleek, tan skin (her long blonde hair somehow wasn't wet at all though) and apologized for them being out of control before running back outside and jumping in the pool after them.

It was a totally unnecessary apology. Our girls were just having fun and she is a great babysitter. (they totally love her too) Anyway, when she was gone, I turned to my husband and asked, "Did you just pop a boner? Because I know I sure did!"

He said something along the lines of "definitely" needing to go upstairs and change and think about something else. I agreed and followed him upstairs. We started to fool around a little as we were changing but then we heard the girls come dashing back into the house. I told him if he wanted to tap me on the shoulder later that night while he was thinking of our babysitter in her little string bikini that would be perfectly alright with me because I'd probably being doing the same thing. (he totally did btw :D )

Anyway, I've heard some of the younger cocktail waitresses and bartenders at work talk about "popping boners" or someone being "boner worthy" like they were guys. I guess it's a new thing and I gotta say I kind of like it! :D

Anyone else heard some of the "younger generation" use that expression?
 
I haven't been on very many planes, but a couple of times I've seen guys walking down the aisle with what look like pretty big boners. My husband says it's the cabin pressure. Does anyone know if that's true? I might have to fly to Macau (by myself) in the next couple of weeks and would love to know if this is true or not in case there's a guy sitting next to me. I'd like to know whether I should forgive him or ask the stewardess if there's another seat because I do NOT plan to offer to help him out! lol

Luckily they say they'll send me "business class" which I assume is somewhere between regular and first class right? (I've never flown business class or first class so I have no idea what to expect - I just know it's a long ass flight from Las Vegas to Macau! :eek:)

I have flown many times and have never had an erection due to the cabin pressure. lol. I've never even heard of that. Now, I did one time get an erection because Madison Ivy was on the plane across from me and I couldn't stop staring at her. But other than that, I've kept my cool at 30,000 feet.
 
I haven't been on very many planes, but a couple of times I've seen guys walking down the aisle with what look like pretty big boners. My husband says it's the cabin pressure. Does anyone know if that's true? I might have to fly to Macau (by myself) in the next couple of weeks and would love to know if this is true or not in case there's a guy sitting next to me. I'd like to know whether I should forgive him or ask the stewardess if there's another seat because I do NOT plan to offer to help him out! lol

Luckily they say they'll send me "business class" which I assume is somewhere between regular and first class right? (I've never flown business class or first class so I have no idea what to expect - I just know it's a long ass flight from Las Vegas to Macau! :eek:)

Cabin pressure isn't the culprit, as the pressure is adjusted by the pilot to be less than 12000 feet, usually closer to 5000 feet. At flight altitudes, if the plane wasn't pressurized, you'd simply pass out in less than 30 seconds. But the euphoria of flying next to a beautiful lady, that's an entirely different set of reasons. The Mile High club is an aspiration for many people, and guys with boners is natural when you've got sex on the brain. Best place for sex on commercial airlines is in the back of the plane, on a night flight, with one of those airline blankets! In a private plane, you're all alone to do what comes naturally...

Like any other public place, you don't have to do what you don't want to do.

If you haven't flown 'business class', it's great, you get a nice recliner style seat and usually special services (as in more attention paid) to you for drink service, meals etc, and you don't have to crawl out of a tiny seat next to a miserable and normally screaming child, or having to sit next to a large smelly fat guy. First class and business class are very similar, and if flying commercial, the ONLY way to go.
 
Thanks - I thought he was pulling my leg. I think my husband likes to tell me things so that I'll repeat them to other people and he can get a good laugh at my expense! lol

There better not be any large smelly fat guy next to me! It's like a 14 or 15 hour flight! I'll stand up and walk off the plane!

Now, a very pretty porn star, well, that would be another story. How do I request that? :D
 
Thanks - I thought he was pulling my leg. I think my husband likes to tell me things so that I'll repeat them to other people and he can get a good laugh at my expense! lol

There better not be any large smelly fat guy next to me! It's like a 14 or 15 hour flight! I'll stand up and walk off the plane!

Now, a very pretty porn star, well, that would be another story. How do I request that? :D

A very pretty porn star? That's First Class service! LOL

Just a side note... when they ask you to turn off all your electronic devices, that includes vibrators :eek: .. they tend to be mistaken for turbulence by your fellow passengers hehehehe
 
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Thanks - I thought he was pulling my leg. I think my husband likes to tell me things so that I'll repeat them to other people and he can get a good laugh at my expense! lol

There better not be any large smelly fat guy next to me! It's like a 14 or 15 hour flight! I'll stand up and walk off the plane!

Now, a very pretty porn star, well, that would be another story. How do I request that? :D

In my case as a frequent Southwest airlines flyer (I know. I know. :rolleyes: ), it was luck of the draw. Being in the A group helped, though.

:cool:
 
Ive started sexting with a woman from Lit. She is very good - she's texting me at work, getting me erect at my desk. She worked from home the other day and sent a series of texts /pictures in various states of undress. Sexy as hell, but I'm not getting much work done these last few days.

I've been visibly erect at work for two days - unable to leave my desk. So hot
 
Unexpected boner story

Not really that embarrasing because it was too brief. When I was younger (much) the big new fashion thing was bra-top dresses or tops for girls. I was shopping at a drug store in my home town, and at the cash register in front of me was a girl who had been one year behind me. She was not really a hottie or fantasy material, but she was wearing a bra-top. As she reached into her purse she leaned forward a little and hunched her shoulders forward, totally exposing her right breast, nipple and all. BOING! We acknowledged each other, paid the bill and went our sepsrate ways. I was married by then and had seen a few others too, but it was the unexpected bonus of my day.
 
Ive started sexting with a woman from Lit. She is very good - she's texting me at work, getting me erect at my desk. She worked from home the other day and sent a series of texts /pictures in various states of undress. Sexy as hell, but I'm not getting much work done these last few days.

I've been visibly erect at work for two days - unable to leave my desk. So hot

I don't have a typical desk job. But I do enjoy walking thru the casino sometimes when I'm not crazy busy and counting all the boners I see. I think some guys get boners from winning at craps and roulette almost as much as they get from gawking at our cocktail servers! :D


Not really that embarrasing because it was too brief. When I was younger (much) the big new fashion thing was bra-top dresses or tops for girls. I was shopping at a drug store in my home town, and at the cash register in front of me was a girl who had been one year behind me. She was not really a hottie or fantasy material, but she was wearing a bra-top. As she reached into her purse she leaned forward a little and hunched her shoulders forward, totally exposing her right breast, nipple and all. BOING! We acknowledged each other, paid the bill and went our sepsrate ways. I was married by then and had seen a few others too, but it was the unexpected bonus of my day.

Hmmm ... maybe it's time to jump over to Zulily for a little inspired retro shopping :)
 
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