The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

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and I exchange my old rotary dial for a fancy new rotary dial

I put in a Hank Williams song

and, Ma & Pa Kettle are sitting on the front porch just a rockin back and forth, real slow like.

I put in a white picket fence.
 
and, Ma & Pa Kettle are sitting on the front porch just a rockin back and forth, real slow like.

I put in a white picket fence.

and the stinging nettle keeps you far far away from the front gate

I put in a yowlin' cat and a rickety ass porch swing
 
and the stinging nettle keeps you far far away from the front gate

I put in a yowlin' cat and a rickety ass porch swing

and, you get a bucket of water to throw on the cat and something greasy for the ass problem.

I put in a swinging gate.


Did you know stinging nettle stops bleeding?
 
and, you get a bucket of water to throw on the cat and something greasy for the ass problem.

I put in a swinging gate.


Did you know stinging nettle stops bleeding?

greasy wont fix rickety, and yes I did know

I put in a corn cob pipe
 
and you get a 40.00 drill motor

I put in a CNC water jet machine

and you get a stern note from the dentist saying it is not to be used again as an electric toothbrush.

I put in a glass wing butterfly on a philadendron leaf...
 
and you get a stern note from the dentist saying it is not to be used again as an electric toothbrush.

I put in a glass wing butterfly on a philadendron leaf...

awwww and you get a wide eyes of wonderment as we watch quietly

I put in a drawing for my sweety
 
awwww and you get a wide eyes of wonderment as we watch quietly

I put in a drawing for my sweety

and your sweety gasps in shock when she looks at the "plowing" pic in your sketchbook thread.

I put in some lovely merlot jelly, straight from the hippie jelly maker...
 
and your sweety gasps in shock when she looks at the "plowing" pic in your sketchbook thread.

I put in some lovely merlot jelly, straight from the hippie jelly maker...

and it taste amazing on fresh biscuits

I put in a bag of potting soil
 
and you overdo it, getting 40 days off.

I put in blueprints for a large boat...

and, all the Lit authors board the new boat, cuz what would this world be like without any porn in it?

I put in just one goody-two-shoes in a pair of red stilettos.
 
and, all the Lit authors board the new boat, cuz what would this world be like without any porn in it?

I put in just one goody-two-shoes in a pair of red stilettos.

and the Vending Machine Choir sings That's Why the Lady is a Tramp.

I put in an eager street missionary...
 
and it spills, but spreads out the door and becomes an Aegean beach in your backyard.

I put in an Adonis with suntan oil for you...

ah, now you're talking a better kind of therapy.

I put in a tent on that beach with the side walls tied back to the corner posts and a tropical breeze flowing through, the sounds of the waves lapping on the shore, the red wine in a stone chalis, and me laying naked on a chase. I mean, I put in a picture post card--wish you were here.
 
ah, now you're talking a better kind of therapy.

I put in a tent on that beach with the side walls tied back to the corner posts and a tropical breeze flowing through, the sounds of the waves lapping on the shore, the red wine in a stone chalis, and me laying naked on a chase. I mean, I put in a picture post card--wish you were here.

and I walk into the picture on the postcard, slathering your naked body with lotion.

I put in a beach boy to untie the side walls...
 
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