Some poly, some kink, some other stuff ...

I'm reading and enjoying your excellent storytelling, Kim, and also finding much relevant to my own life right now. This is my first time on Lit in years, but I will make a point of returning to follow the rest of your story, if nothing else.
 
Thanks ... I'm genuinely surprised this all seems to resonate with other people, and that the relative paucity of hot sex doesn't seem to put people off ... I keep meaning to get more hot sex in there, but it just never quite seems to happen ...

I'm reading and enjoying your excellent storytelling, Kim, and also finding much relevant to my own life right now. This is my first time on Lit in years, but I will make a point of returning to follow the rest of your story, if nothing else.
 
And the sex was ... well, pretty phenomenal. Details have faded now, but I know we moved from cyber to phone pretty quickly ... to the best of my recollection, he'd asked about the phone thing a few times, and then one day, while we were in the middle of particularly hot cyber session, I said 'here's my Skype name - call me NOW'. And he did ... and once I'd had that voice rolling over me, I was totally doomed.

In spite of my initial protestations that I'm not sub (and I'd still probably say that), and his assurances that he wouldn't push his dominant tendencies with me, it didn't take long before we moved into something that probably resembled a d/s dynamic more than anything else ... although I'd still hesitate to define it in that way. It was, however, my first real exploration of the idea of just letting someone take control of things. It certainly wasn't his first time though, which I guess made things easier for me ... and he was the perfect fit for me. We talked about stuff a lot, he never pushed ... things were just suggested, and I either said yes or no. If I said no, we'd usually talk about why, so as we progressed we got a clearer understanding of where we were going. It's a challenge to maintain this kind of thing at a distance, especially as controlling aspects of my life were NOT an option - the power/control dynamic only ever occurred in the immediately sexual context - and because one of the things I enjoy is pain, which is obviously tricky to manifest when one's physically alone. He was very inventive though.

Specific memory ... we were talking one afternoon, I was in the bedroom, and he told me to fetch a tube of toothpaste, which I did, although with a slightly perplexed tone. He then told me to squeeze a small amount - pea sized or a bit smaller - onto my finger. And then apply it to my clit. I remained pretty sceptical, while he told me to wait ... but he obviously knew what was going to happen, and had instructed me to have a vibrator to hand to ensure optimal results. It was something we repeated a few times, but he always said the first time was the best, just for the sheer explosiveness. God knows what our neighbours thought was going on ... amazingly the police didn't get called.

I still have all the Lit messages ... and all the external emails. I can find the email exchange now where TG is talking about how much he wants to hear my voice ... we'd obviously started cybering at that point, but he wanted more. All the instant messages conversations seem to have evaporated though ... I can't remember if I deleted them, or maybe they've just disappeared. But the emails are groaning with all sorts of things - mostly actually stated. It was clear within 3 or 4 weeks of our first contact that things were going to be ... well, a little overwhelming. I can't really share anything he said, because that would be ... something - disloyal? unethical? ... although the very early statement that he was aching to hear my voice was indicative of everything. I found this very early few sentences that I wrote though: "I think we both know how unrealistic this is. I think we both want to just ignore that, for once. We both know what the rules and boundaries are. Let's just let go, and see what happens ... with the one proviso that we both agree to be careful, not cautious, but careful with each other."

The email conversations go on forever, back and forth. He travelled a lot, I spent half the week away with my work, and we were both home alone a lot as well. Reading back through some of them now, I can see how they were sent around cyber or, after not too long, calls (over Skype). They're full of idle banter, and then sometimes terribly meaningful conversations about what we were doing, where it could possibly all go ... and interspersed with that, lust, references to things we'd done while talking, random thoughts that went through our heads about each other.

What makes me the happiest reading back through it all now is that I can see he was just as smitten as I was ... sometimes when one looks back at the beginnings of something, one or t'other of you is less keen, but we were like cats in heat.

One thing I realised is that internet mediated exchanges like this can start pervading every bit of your life so easily, if you're both in positions that allow for that. We messaged while working, we talked evenings and mornings when we could, we had long email exchanges while we were ostensibly doing other things ... there was just this constant lovely presence in my life that I couldn't get enough of. There's more to say about this, but it's interesting looking back now - when we finally stopped, one of the things I said was that I'd been drowning, and reading back through the first couple of months of exchanges, it was pretty obviously the tide came in VERY quickly. I never had a chance. I don't think either of us did really.
 
Count me as another where your experience's resonate. In a deep bass tone. Right in the gut.

Going from marrying my dream gal, moving into my lifelong dream house...to the dwindling sex & inevitable divorce with no real reasons as to "WHY!?!?!?"...to the off the rails debauchery of my newly single life...

Keep being awesome

:rose:
 
Thanks ... I'm not sure if you're wanting to draw a direct parallel though. None of this was motivated by dissatisfaction with my marriage or my husband (I'm actually going to address that again soon) and I'm not sure it constitutes 'debauchery', although I guess that's a subjective concept

Count me as another where your experience's resonate. In a deep bass tone. Right in the gut.

Going from marrying my dream gal, moving into my lifelong dream house...to the dwindling sex & inevitable divorce with no real reasons as to "WHY!?!?!?"...to the off the rails debauchery of my newly single life...

Keep being awesome

:rose:
 
Thanks ... I'm not sure if you're wanting to draw a direct parallel though. None of this was motivated by dissatisfaction with my marriage or my husband (I'm actually going to address that again soon) and I'm not sure it constitutes 'debauchery', although I guess that's a subjective concept

More the emotional aspects opposed to the fine details babe...
Just get your financials inline when dealing with spouse's.

I went a little off the rails for my divorce. Everything from teenagers to married cougars...as my ex-stripper Montreal FWB put it, I was on a "route du chatte".
 
The question of chemistry is something that has always fascinated me, both in real life and then, later, when I encountered it online. It's an unseen current that runs through all our interactions. I sometimes think it is born of the great mystery, other times I suspect it is present in the undercurrent of things said and not said, things done and not done. I don't doubt (or even really question) when it's present. I am just amazed it's there. The first time I ever connected with someone online like that I remember being astounding that it could arise from words alone.
 
[It's really tricky to tell if anyone's actually reading my random ramblings. Comments indicating ... well, anything really, if it's some sort of engagement ... are always welcome. Maybe I need to ask some questions in my posts?]
Just stumbled over you, Kim
Loving your very erotic story! Rod
 
The question of chemistry is something that has always fascinated me, both in real life and then, later, when I encountered it online. It's an unseen current that runs through all our interactions. I sometimes think it is born of the great mystery, other times I suspect it is present in the undercurrent of things said and not said, things done and not done. I don't doubt (or even really question) when it's present. I am just amazed it's there. The first time I ever connected with someone online like that I remember being astounding that it could arise from words alone.

Admittedly, I have yet to receive a Lit PM that is on a par with Shakespeare's Sonnet 18 (Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?) but I have little doubt that the judicious use of words alone can inspire and arouse. If not, then an awful lot of those authors who submit their stories to Lit are wasting their time!
 
It surprises me too, and as you note, even more so in this context, where the aspect of physical attraction that we assume underlies the 'chemistry' concept is missing. When I first started doing this sort of thing, I remember talking to a friend about it, and she noted two things - some people are very adept at conveying themselves through the written word; and it wasn't so long ago that people used to have long involved love affairs mostly conducted via letters. That they 'posted'. In the 'mail'.
I wish I could copy and paste some of the exchanges that TG and I had in here - they were just so fucking perfect. It's making me a bit sad reading over them again now ... sad, but also happy that that even happened.

The question of chemistry is something that has always fascinated me, both in real life and then, later, when I encountered it online. It's an unseen current that runs through all our interactions. I sometimes think it is born of the great mystery, other times I suspect it is present in the undercurrent of things said and not said, things done and not done. I don't doubt (or even really question) when it's present. I am just amazed it's there. The first time I ever connected with someone online like that I remember being astounding that it could arise from words alone.
 
Thanks ... it's really not been as 'erotic' as I'd originally expected, but I keep getting side-tracked by things that, when I'm writing them, actually seem more interesting than the sexing. And things are kind of beginning to make more sense now that I'm looking back over them again ... the 20/20 benefit of hindsight and all that. :)

Just stumbled over you, Kim
Loving your very erotic story! Rod
 
An embarrassing confession

So a couple of things that happened in the first couple of months of the ‘thing’ with TG. The first of these involves a slightly embarrassing confession. When we first started talking, I had a fairly old phone – I used to refer to as my ‘slightly-above-average-intelligence phone’, because it really wasn’t that smart, and it had stopped really functioning at full capacity. One day a deal site had reconditioned iPhones on offer, and I sent TG a link, asking if they were any good. (He works in tech, and I’m pretty ill-informed about i-anything.) He came back saying it was silly me paying that much, and he would just send me one, because they were so much cheaper in the US. Obviously I just laughed and told him to not be ridiculous … except he was actually deadly serious. Much debate ensued, and finally he convinced me to accept an old one he had with a broken screen … yes, I know how this looks, but I figured he was just going to throw it away anyway, whereas I’d get it fixed and actually use it so, you know, environmentally sound and everything. I still have the exchange somewhere, him saying 'So basically you're saying you want me to send you this broken outdated phone instead of a nice new one?' and me saying 'Exactly' and him saying 'Are you actually insane?'
Then, of course, he had to get it to me. We were still very much in the anonymous phase … we did manage to get around one aspect of that because I was about to travel, so he could have it shipped to a hotel … but I did have to grit my teeth and give him my actual name. And it turns out giving someone your old iPhone isn’t a simple thing … there were accounts to disconnect and reconnect, and calls to Customs and various other things … but finally it all got sorted, and the mysterious package arrived at my hotel containing one broken iPhone … and, of course, new underwear. The next email contained a lovely description of him choosing them, thinking about what he thought I’d like, and how happy it made him knowing I’d be wearing something that he’d held, even if only briefly. That was pretty cute … and then that afternoon I’d been in the hotel reception for some reason and was just heading back up the stairs when a delivery guy walked in holding an enormous bunch of flowers. Something made me stop, and sure enough he said ‘These are for a guest … Kim Gordon?’ (except my actual name obviously) … and again followed up by an email describing how he’d emailed with a local florist, choosing flowers that he hoped I’d like.
Yes, I get that reading back now it all seems a little stalky, but that’s not even slightly how it felt at the time – and that was the beginning and the end of him ever sending me anything. I’m not sure what the moral of this little sub-story is … I guess there isn’t one.
 
Not in the slightest bit stalky – in fact rather lovely.

One thing I find difficult with an attached lover is the problem of sending presents and worrying that even when I hand them over personally, they'll be difficult for her to explain away.

So a couple of things that happened in the first couple of months of the ‘thing’ with TG. The first of these involves a slightly embarrassing confession. When we first started talking, I had a fairly old phone – I used to refer to as my ‘slightly-above-average-intelligence phone’, because it really wasn’t that smart, and it had stopped really functioning at full capacity. One day a deal site had reconditioned iPhones on offer, and I sent TG a link, asking if they were any good. (He works in tech, and I’m pretty ill-informed about i-anything.) He came back saying it was silly me paying that much, and he would just send me one, because they were so much cheaper in the US. Obviously I just laughed and told him to not be ridiculous … except he was actually deadly serious. Much debate ensued, and finally he convinced me to accept an old one he had with a broken screen … yes, I know how this looks, but I figured he was just going to throw it away anyway, whereas I’d get it fixed and actually use it so, you know, environmentally sound and everything. I still have the exchange somewhere, him saying 'So basically you're saying you want me to send you this broken outdated phone instead of a nice new one?' and me saying 'Exactly' and him saying 'Are you actually insane?'
Then, of course, he had to get it to me. We were still very much in the anonymous phase … we did manage to get around one aspect of that because I was about to travel, so he could have it shipped to a hotel … but I did have to grit my teeth and give him my actual name. And it turns out giving someone your old iPhone isn’t a simple thing … there were accounts to disconnect and reconnect, and calls to Customs and various other things … but finally it all got sorted, and the mysterious package arrived at my hotel containing one broken iPhone … and, of course, new underwear. The next email contained a lovely description of him choosing them, thinking about what he thought I’d like, and how happy it made him knowing I’d be wearing something that he’d held, even if only briefly. That was pretty cute … and then that afternoon I’d been in the hotel reception for some reason and was just heading back up the stairs when a delivery guy walked in holding an enormous bunch of flowers. Something made me stop, and sure enough he said ‘These are for a guest … Kim Gordon?’ (except my actual name obviously) … and again followed up by an email describing how he’d emailed with a local florist, choosing flowers that he hoped I’d like.
Yes, I get that reading back now it all seems a little stalky, but that’s not even slightly how it felt at the time – and that was the beginning and the end of him ever sending me anything. I’m not sure what the moral of this little sub-story is … I guess there isn’t one.
 
You'd think coming home from the UK with a broken iPhone that I didn't have when I left would have been a problem, eh? Surprisingly not - in fact, it being broken made it easier to explain ... and the underwear ... well, I have an 'away home' that I stay in half of most weeks for work, so they just ended up there. Some mornings I'd send him a message that just said 'the black ones', because I knew it would make him smile.

Not in the slightest bit stalky – in fact rather lovely.

One thing I find difficult with an attached lover is the problem of sending presents and worrying that even when I hand them over personally, they'll be difficult for her to explain away.
 
Thanks ... it's really not been as 'erotic' as I'd originally expected, but I keep getting side-tracked by things that, when I'm writing them, actually seem more interesting than the sexing. And things are kind of beginning to make more sense now that I'm looking back over them again ... the 20/20 benefit of hindsight and all that. :)
I posted that early in your thread and have now caught up. It has been great to follow your journey so far. The vanilla and the erotic make for a real insight into your world. Thanks for sharing with this new admirer...?
 
Thanks ... sometimes I wonder if I overthink stuff, but I don't seem to be able to stop it happening, so I guess I just have to go with it.

I posted that early in your thread and have now caught up. It has been great to follow your journey so far. The vanilla and the erotic make for a real insight into your world. Thanks for sharing with this new admirer...?
 
Seriously, people, move up a little, it's getting cramped. And share the bloody popcorn! 🍿 :D

Very enjoyable to read all of this from start to finish. You are extremely generous sharing all of this with us popcorn munching folk :)

I can identify with this in part, after having a very special online connection with a woman some years back. Receipt of that first physical object was a genuine game changer......
 
Obviously I couldn't possibly comment on that ... but it's nice revisiting some of these times, so I'm glad someone else is getting something out of it too ... whatever that might be.

More a figure of speech. Your writing is certainly compelling, to say the least.
 
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