difference in sex drive

JtohisPB said:

Well, that clears everything up then.

Click to expand...

Really. We still don't know if he's in his 20s, married, a young stud or a father.

The How To isn't for fantasy, it's for helping. Being upfront gets you real responses (most of the time).

Nothing wrong with fantasies but Lit isn't just about that, it's on the list.

Sensitivity may be what she wants and needs and it may be the right thing to do if she is in a bad place psychologically or emotionally. But it isn't a path to sex for him. Women have been selling this load of crap to guys for all of time. They use nice guys to build up their confidence then spread their legs for the next obnoxious jerk who convinces them he'll respect her for it.

That may be a bit extreme here but there is very limited evidence that being a nice guy gets you laid. If she is truly depressed there are larger issues at play and a box of chocolates isn't going to do it. If she is being self-indulgent the last thing he needs to do is feed that.

I start from the basic premise that a healthy sex life is part of marriage and BOTH parties need to work at it. Ask her what she wants. Try to understand what is going on. Be supportive. But make it abundantly clear that you BOTH need to be aware of ALL of each others needs and you didn't sign up to be treated like shit for having male urges including the ones she used to find entirely acceptable.

It's the age of equality ladies that means equal rights but also equal responsibilities. You aren't equal if you reserve the right to be self-indulgent and expect your man to jump through hoops for a glimpse of pussy like its 1955.

I don't mean to suggest the wife is in the wrong here.....I really don't know and it sounds like there may be bigger depression issues.

But if not I find it very troubling that people think the logical answer when someone is treating you like shit is to kiss their ass. If this was a woman who was telling us her husband is cold and emotionally abusive would we be telling her to sex it up and do whatever he asks.

^especially when the science and common sense tell you the opposite.

The with-holding partner is well aware they are with-holding. Being even MORE solicitous in hopes of earning their affection is only going to make them feel worse about with-holding. Even when the with-holding is complicated such as depression and libido killing meds.

^ or give them the latitude to not stop and think about why they are withholding.

All relationships go thru tough times and the partners need to be understanding. And we all want romance and magic. But honey if he is trying hard (magic or not) and you haven't sucked that dick in 12 months you aren't holding up your end of the bargain. At that point it isn't him who owes you a night of romance. It's you who owes him a night of slutty lingerie, sucking and fucking.

Sounds like a physical thing

If she's on antidepressants, it will most definitely kill the sex drive. Also, based on her age and the fact that she's had kids, I would make the assumption that her hormones are out of whack. When the hormones are balanced the moods tend to lift. I can so relate. As soon as the hormones were balanced, I found that I couldn't get enough. Good luck!