JBJs BOOK REVIEWS: The Real Shit.

Seriously, Scouries, if you want to be useful, search all the old JBJ reviews out and link them here. Stalk him hardcore.
 
jimmy, Scotland!

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Denise Mina

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its not the number of threads you start... its the

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Donald Westlake

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by Westlake and who?​
 
jimmy there is a cure for threaditis! Please contact ScouriesWorld for our pamphlet on the subject...

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THE AX by Donald Westlake.

The story: A fifty year old man loses his job and becomes a serial killer to eliminate the competition for his line of work.

The New York TIMES reviewer loved this book and thought Westlake was a genius. Most AMAZON reviewers loved it, too. I didn't. I read 8 chapters and closed the covers.

Some reviewers complain about the constipated plot and snail's pace action. BINGO! Its glacial navel-gazing. There's no dialogue just navel gazing. Westlake was a master of navel-gazing, he knew how to make it work, but not in this particular book. The problem is the nature of the PC's work (Principal Character); the man makes paper stuff...napkins, paper plates, paper cups, towels, business card stock, etc. You get the idea half of America makes paper stuff and the very best of them are outta work and reside near the PC. The killings aren't clever or novel or competently executed.

 
I go away on vacation and the old guy from the boondocks of Florida goes crazy with new threads? jimmy there is a cure for threaditis! Please contact ScouriesWorld for our pamphlet on the subject...

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yes this is the #1 jimmy boy thread on LITEROTICA! And of course all of us are wishing that this continues to be the main thread on which our friend from north florida posts on in 2015….

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jimmy broaden your horizons! China… Or Saint Louis????

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Qui Xiaolong and Inspector Chen...

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One post can take care of seven or eight unread jbj threads. When will he ever learn…

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Of course donny is smiling given all the free publicity he’s getting from you know who…

JAMESBJOHNSON said:
THE MERCENARIES by Donald Westlake

Westlake wrote porn before he wrote noir and this novel is his first noir novel. Ke was a kid when he wrote it. Say, 27 years old.

The Story: George Clayton is a fixer for the Mob and takes care of any problems that pop up. So in the middle of the night a heroin addict named Billy awakes Clayton as he's in bed about to get a little lovin from his chorus girl honey. Before the dawn breaks Cantrell vanishes forever, Clayton spends days awake, and the whole Mob and NYC PD want Billy found NOW. That is, a small time whore named Mavis was murdered and Billy is the prime suspect. Everyone is excited because Mavis has an old sugar daddy who wants the killer caught. Sugar Daddy is a VIP in New York City.

The book is too long and too anal for my taste. The Parker books are half as long and 2 times better reads. Its not awful, simply too detailed. The mysteries endure till the end when all is revealed. Its superior to most first books.

Many of Westlakes books have dual titles. This one is also available as THE CUTIE.

THE LUGGER by Donald Westlake

Its #6 outta 24 in the PARKER Series of sociopathic fun. Think Jack Palance. Westlake used Palance as the model for Parker.

The Story: An elderly crook appeals to Parker to travel to Nebraska and help him with a problem. Parker is suspicious of the appeal's authenticity but goes anyway. The old crook is already dead and the whole town and most of America want the fortune they believe the old bandit buried in his basement. The sheriff has records of all the capers the old man committed, and the take was a few dollars shy of 2 Million. All think Parker knows where the money is. He does.

Parker reminds me of Goerings protégé, Heydrich.

Westlake's genius was for mystery. He made mystery last from start to finish, and you cant see the end coming, ever. This book has a surprise ending, too. On the last page. One of the mystery writer groups awarded Westlake its Grand Master Award.


THE SCORE by Donald Westlake

The Story: Parker is invited to head a gang planning to rob a whole town. Twenty-five to 30 men are in the gang.

Its torture by boredom, comparable to reading the Bible till dawn. All of Westlakes books are formulaic (he started as a porn writer) but Parker is an exciting character and the series is generally worth the candle. Not this time. Its about as exciting as taking inventory and supervising daycare kids. Its too much nothing happening.

That said, I harvested one awesome Loving Wives scene guaranteed to make readers howl.

THE MOURNERS by Donald Westlake

#4 of the PARKER series.

The story: An old girl friend blackmails Parker to steal an alabaster statue made in the Middle Ages. The statue is one of 18 or so 'mourners' made to decorate the tomb of a French pope or cardinal or bishop, whatever. The statue was stolen during WW2 and came to America in the care of a twinkle-toed, commie-faggot diplomat from Obamastan-SSR.

The Parker books are all formulaic, They begin in the middle of a brawl, rise to a 5 star clusterfuck crisis, and end when the clusterfuck is fixed and Parker impales the hot female character. Westlake knows how to work plot and character to keep the action cooking. Parker lives for pussy, money, and payback. And there's never any navel gazing, soul searching, or stopping to smell the roses.

THE GETAWAY FACE by Donald Westlake

Its #2 of the PARKER series.

Parker is a master thief and all around bad-ass. I was pleased as hell to learn Parker favors shooting people's feet, to take the wind outta their sales and get their minds right with Jesus, especially after he kicks wounds and loosens tourniquets. Its a technique I use in my tales.

The Story: Parker travels to Nebraska to get a new face after he makes big problems for THE OUTFIT. THE OUTFIT wants to kill Parker. So he gets a new face and no one recognizes him. But then someone murders the plastic surgeon and the surgeons moron assistant blames Parker tho Parker is in the middle of doing an armor car robbery a 1000 miles away. Its fascinating reading till the moron starts navel gazing near the end of the book. Morons don't navel gaze well, and the reading becomes an ordeal. No 5 starz for this book or 4 starz either. 3! Navel gazing always costs one star, moronic navel gazing costs 2 starz. The morons girlfriend is equally dum.

THE OUTFIT by Donald Westlake

Is the 3rd of Westlake's popular PARKER series.

The Story: Parker awakes in his motel room when a mafia shooter busts thru the door spraying bullets everywhere but hits no one. Parker smacks the shooter and disables the man with a bad concussion. Parker then fills a memo book with names and pushes the shooter down a fire escape stairwell setting the stage for a war against the mafia. No navel gazing or interludes to smell the roses in this book. Its all action and problem solving that serves action.

Westlake was a master porn writer before he wrote noir, and the sex he inserts in the noir isn't the stuff for building strong boners. The gal Parker sleeps with is very violent, and he usually must kick her ass before she starts feeling the love. Parker also collides with ugly women, like his old friends wife. She's huge with a pile of orange hair and missing teeth. Outta the blue she tells her husband Parker raped her. No one believes her and it never happened, so she becomes violent because Parker turned her down and because her husband refused to champion her honor. I think good porn writers become bored with cheer leaders and models.

Westlakes Parker books aren't for OCD critical thinkers, the whole effect falls apart if you think about the action too much. On the other hand the mafia dons aren't spaghetti swilling fat boys with thick Sicilian accents, theyre Harvard grads who talk like Obama. And the women are sharks.

FIELD GRAY by Philip Kerr

Its Number 7 of the Bernie Gunther series of Nazi Noir.

In 1954 Bernie Gunther flees Cuba ahead of Batista's military who want him to interrogate Castro's rebels. Bernie flees with a hot looking prostitute who's also on the lam, because she's also a communist the military wants to execute (she assassinated a Batista officer.

Then the US Navy grabs them at sea. Senorita Hotstuff shoots one of the swabbies (a former lover) who knows too much about her. The Navy then hands Bernie over to the CIA, who pass him around the Allied Powers in Germany, to interrogate him about Nazi atrocities of WW2.

The rest of the book is interrogation dialogue and navel gazing and soul searching. The one constant in all of Kerr's novels is: Bernie's wives and girl friends always die. Reminds of the Willie Nelson song about all the girls he luved.

Kerr writes well, as good as Raymond Chandler, but cannot end a book to save his life. Its always a WTF let down. That said, his books are always a spell-binding expose of government, and the Americans are no better than the Nazis or Stalinists. Government is always a shootout between Al Capone and Lucky Luciano where the public gets the ass fulla caps when the smoke clears.

4 STARZ

Ross Macdonald
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I finally ordered a novel by Ross MacDonald. MacDonald is reputed to be the Holy Ghost of the Hammett, Chandler, MacDonald Trinity. Lew Archer reminds me of Philip Marlowe without a sense of humor. But the writing is better than I expected. That is, there's no navel gazing or soul searching or savage breasts to pacify. Good noir should never be VALLEY OF THE DOLLS or anything Steinbeck. John cried over everything, like John Boner.

THE GALTON CASE by Ross MacDonald

I closed the book covers after 50 pages.

THE STORY: Granny hires Lew Archer to find Sonny who disappeared 21 years ago along with his slut wife he met on the street and promptly knocked up. Granny wants to make amends to Sonny.

It didn't get any better. Around page 50 Lew Archer is at a Beatnik coffee house digging on a cat who recites poems accompanied by a small group of musicians. Cool cats! Can you dig it! It was the most excitement since I opened the covers.

The experience was like LETS SEE HOW MUCH INANE BORING BULL SHIT YOULL SUFFER BEFORE YOU THROW THIS TRASH AT SOMEONE. Its reputed to be MacDonalds seminal book, the one that made him the heir of Hammett and Chandler. Uh, no.

THE FRIENDS OF EDDIE COYLE by George V. Higgins

Higgins invented dialog
 
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JAMESBJOHNSON said:
Re-writes
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Did you ever read a story that begs and pleads for a major re-write?

Last night I read half of Robert B. Parker's 1st novel and hadda stop because its so clunky. That is, Parker finished writing Raymond Chandler's POODLE SPRINGS, and until he died claimed to be Chandler's heir. But his prose and style remind me of a 1957 Packard.

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It was a Studebaker with Cadillac fins and the Packard name. Awful.

Uh, no. If Hammett was The Father, and Chandler was The Son, no way was Parker The Holy Ghost. Not even in Heaven. I'd award David Goodis the title, maybe Donald Westlake.
 
2 more unnecessary threads my dear man...

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JAMESBJOHNSON said:
Alfred The Great Of Britain
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The Seige Of Trencher's Farm

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THE SEIGE OF TRENCHER'S FARM by Gordon Williams

Sam Peckinpah made a movie of this book back in 1971, titled STRAW DOGS. The movie was pretty violent with rape and numerous killings. It starred Dustin Hoffman and Susan George. This book is similar to the movie but different in significant ways.

The Story: George Magruder is a Philly perfesser living in England to complete an artsy-fartsy book he's writing. He's effeminate and sensitive and always politically correct. His wife, Louise Magruder, hates him for his passive, turn the other cheek nature. Back in Philly she fucked an alcoholic Irish poet on the side.

Mostly George and Louise quarrel and snarl at each other....Louise does all the snarling as George is too self-controlled to express feelings. He has performance problems, too, tho he isn't old. He's also shy and long suffering. The local men dislike him a lot because he cant fit in. George drinks brandy.

Everything comes to a boil when an old pervert sexual predator named Henry Niles escapes from his mental hospital and is loose in the neighborhood. George accidentally hits Henry while driving, and brings Henry home to meet Louise and daughter Karen. The rest of the book is a nasty demolition derby tho George is very calm when he discovers Henry has the kid alone. UNLOCK THE DOOR, HENRY. CALM DOWN, KAREN. Karen is the young daughter.

Its written well, fulla suspense, and the ending is implausible except I can imagine Limeys acting exactly the same with Muslim terrorists or any monster.
 
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jimmy, One great thread is worth 100 non-viewed ones...


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JAMESBJOHNSON said:
The Maltese Falcon
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THE MALTESE FALCON by Dashiell Hammett

It took me years to finish reading this book. Hammett wrote it around 1929. Sam Spade evolved from an earlier character Hammett referred to as THE CONTINENTAL OP, the subject of numerous pulp fiction short stories.

The Story: Sam Spade and his detective partner Miles Archer are hired to tail a gigolo, to learn where he lives. Archer is then murdered, as is the gigolo. Sam has been fucking Archer's wife, Iva, and she now wants to marry Sam. The cops think Sam killed Archer to get the wife.

A man named Cairo then appears and wants Sam to find a statuette known as The Maltese Falcon. Cairo offers $5000 for the job. The woman who hired Sam to track the gigolo then comes back, under a different name, and reveals how she is after The Maltese Falcon, too. The gigolo business was a hoax, the gigolo was really another seeker of the Falcon.

And it goes round and round and up and down for the rest of the book till all is revealed at the end.

Raymond Chandler came along in 1939 with THE BIG SLEEP and Philip Marlowe. Chandler took Hammett's wine and made brandy of it. Marlowe is a custom made coach upon the Sam Spade chassis. Both characters are alcoholics and like women for one reason. Spade patronizes them, and Marlowe saves them.

From where I sit THE MALTESE FALCON has one redeeming quality, its place in the evolution of noir. Chandler was better than Hammett but Hammett was much better than anyone else till Chandler came along.


John Truby: Thoughts about criticism
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3E7ZwyRY_1g

All about trolls and haters
 
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JAMESBJOHNSON said:
This Thread Was Not Approved By Pilot
Maybe its me.
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Yesterday I made a stab at reading a novel by Ross MacDonald. It was the fourth book of his I've tried to read.

MacDonald was a popular noir writer 60 years ago but what I read seems like a collection of sterile responses by a zombie with a lobotomy. ME TARZAN, YOU JANE. JANE COOK CHEETAH.
 
views are climbing jimmy ... we knew you could do it!

but can't you read something a little more wordly?


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JAMESBJOHNSON said:
The Dance At The Slaughter House
________________________________________THE DANCE AT THE SLAUGHTER HOUSE by Lawrence Block

This book isn't for the timid or faint-hearted. And the content violates most of LITs TOS. That is, the content involves underage teen sex and graphic snuff events that are sexual and violent. Plenty of details. 5 big EEEWWWs for this one.

THE STORY: The book opens with a mind numbing account of a prize fight between stumble bums at an obscure arena somewhere in Brooklyn or Queens NYC. It was a struggle to keep reading. After the fight Matt Scudder gets a referral from NYPD to investigate a suspicious murder of a young heiress with a gay brother. Soon afterwards an acquaintance lends Matt an old Lee Marvin video to watch. Matt saw THE DIRTY DOZEN like 4 times but the acquaintance insists he see it again.

Its a snuff film involving a couple and a teen boy. The couple are concealed within BDSM costumes, only their genitals are exposed. Afterwards Scudder is obsessed with identifying the killers and bringing them to justice. He gets no where tracking the video to its original owner. The owner is dead, and his land-lady sold all his stuff for late rent. Two days later Scudder spots the killers at a boxing match. All he saw were genitals but recognizes them from across the arena. Kiss my ass. And the hunt is on. The rest violates TOS. But its really a horror tale of the grosser kind. Block knows how to creep readers out, and knows how to pare (no pun intended) the details for best effect.
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THIS POST WAS PREPARED BY GERONIMO APPLEBY AND HIS HAND PICKED TEAM OF BRIT FAGGOTS AND SAILORS.
 
YIKES jimmy, I go away for a couple of days and you forgot you have your very own 3600+ view thread. DO NOT start any more new threads this month!



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JAMESBJOHNSON said:
THE BIG GOLD DREAM by Chester Himes.

At 150 pages its too long to be any good. It shoulda been 50 pages. I love Chester Himes and couldn't wait for it to be over.

The Story: Alberta Wright, a black cook, swoons while the Reverend Sweet Prophet Brown baptizes her. All think she's dead, and she's hauled off to the morgue.

Alberta has a husband and a lover. The husband immediately summons an old Jewish junk dealer to sell all of Alberta's furniture. The dealer transports all the furniture to his store. The dealer paid the husband shit for the furniture but believes the furniture conceals a fortune in hidden cash, because most black women hide money in furniture. And he's right. He finds 1000 one-hundred dollar bills hid inside a table leg.

Then the lights go out and a hellacious brawl commences that leaves the Jew dead and the husband dead. The killer escapes but without the cash. The Jew hid the money before the brawl in the dark. Alberta's lover is the killer but she's charged with the murder of the husband when she happens upon the stabbing attack afterwards, grabs the knife, and flees into the night. Blood is all over her and the cops catch her quickly. She wont betray her lover. She then appeals to Sweet Prophet Brown to aid her. This all happens during the initial 30 pages or so, and the rest is filler that's occasionally interesting but irrelevant to the plot.

Sweet Prophet Brown reminds me of Al Sharpton. In jail another female inmate says he's a pimp and con man. He is. Brown has all kinds of rackets going.

Himes told it like it was, and that honesty pissed lotsa people off. Rich white men came to Harlem and fucked the young chippies or homo boys, their wives came to Harlem and kept black studs, Jews exploited blacks, and the blacks were buffoons, preachers, criminals, whores, or fools. Most whites were dolts in his books. But Jews were the real villains.

The brawl scene is amazing writing, great stuff.

Gravedigger Jones and Coffin Ed Johnson are black NYPD detectives featured in many of Himes stories. Theyre smart, wise, and vicious but you never learn much about them. They remind me of Cosmic Justice.


Harper Lee Or Truman Capote?
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https://www.bostonglobe.com/arts/boo...RZP/story.html

PULITZER PRIZE FOR 1ST NOVEL. Truman Capote was her best childhood friend and she helped him with IN COLD BLOOD.
Nobody Runs Forever
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NOBODY RUNS FOREVER by Donald Westlake


Westlake stopped writing Parker novels in 1974 then picked them up around 1994. This one came along around 2000-something, close to the end of the series and Westlake's life.

At 300 pages its twice as long as the typical Parker book. Its bloated and commits all the sins Westlake avoided when he created Parker back in 1960 or so: Navel gazing, soul searching, stopping to smell the flowers, and plenty of Dear Diary musings. But it started out well.

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THIS POST WAS PREPARED BY GERONIMO APPLEBY AND HIS HAND PICKED TEAM OF BRIT FAGGOTS AND SAILORS.
 
jimmy c'mon man! you can be a great THREADMASRTER if you concentrated on it...

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JAMESBJOHNSON said:
I, The Jury
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I, THE JURY by Mickey Spillane. 1947.

It sold 3 1/2 million copies and was Spillane's first book in print.

NYMPHOMANIAC is the biggest word in the book and used for any non-virgin female Mike Hammer meets. But 99% of the words are one and two syllables and common. Hammer is a bull in a china shop, an opinionated boor, reckless, abrasive and violent, and all the gals gotta have him. Its about bad people who hook nice ladies on dope. I was bored.

The Story: Mike Hammer's war buddy is murdered and Hammer vows to catch the killer and murder him. Hammer suspects everyone and goes after everyone but the real killer. Philip Marlowe or Sam Spade would shoot this clown and not think about it later. I imagine teen boys bought the book. And I cant fathom why its a classic. Spillane isn't a better writer than anyone I can think of.
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JAMESBJOHNSON said:
A Rage In Harlem
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A RAGE IN HARLEM by Chester Himes 1957

Its the first of Himes' Harlem Series, and the introduction of detectives Coffin Ed Johnson and Grave Digger Jones.

The story: A funeral home flunkey named Jackson begs, borrows, and steals $1500 he gives to a con artist to change into $15,000 by a machine that changes ten dollar bills to hundred dollar bills. Jackson's honey put him up to it, and is part of the scam. She and the gang vanish after Jackson is robbed.

Jackson then steals $500 from his boss to play poker with, to win back some of the $1500 he lost to the con artists, but loses it playing poker. Outta money and desperate, Jackson appeals to his twin brother, a cross-dressing con and heroin addict called 'Sister Gabriel' to help find the missing girlfriend and his money.

Towards the end the action becomes over the top violent when people literally lose their heads. Some underage sex involving young prostitutes and criminals.

The book milks racial stereotypes. Himes called the book an absurdity but added. the negro life is a mix of reality and absurdity. The book doesn't flatter blacks.

Himes published the Harlem books in France. This book and COTTON COMES TO HARLEM were made into movies.
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THIS POST WAS PREPARED BY GERONIMO APPLEBY AND HIS HAND PICKED TEAM OF BRIT FAGGOTS AND SAILORS AND MUSLIM APPEASERS.
 
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