Everything you always wanted to know about submissives..but were afraid to ask..

Miss T, i think we all get caught up in that "he/she is everything i ever wanted" stage at some point in new relationships, no matter where they happen or how kinked or not kinked they may be.

We're all human and most of us still in a tiny portion of ourselves hidden way down deep inside have that core that believes in happily ever after. We may not want to admit it, but it's there and every time we begin a new relationship, if it's going well, we let that part of us take control. Sometimes it lasts for a couple of minutes, sometimes for a couple of days, sometimes it might even last for years. Eventually, the more rational part takes over and we have to work to sustain that relationship. And if the other party isn't willing to work as hard or isn't committed to the relationship, then it dies.

There are times when i believe that perhaps a meeting arranged by a trusted friend might help alleviate some of this for me, at least. An objective opinion, before the romanticism sets in, as opposed to after when it won't be heard.

With Artful's permission,

once again i must stress that I feel there is NOTHING wrong with romanticism ..why is everyone so skeptic? true love can be found if you look hard enough for it..and in ANY relatiionship trust is a BIG issue but it must be EARNED not just blindly given..respect and trust are paramount to any healthy realationship of any kind ..if one could not indulge in a little "fantasy" once in a while tho I believe this would be a boring world indeed ..and thanks for contributing to my thread morning glory ..(huggs)

artful's dream,

We all have had times and circumstances wherein we experienced and indulged in a bit of romanticsm. God! Life would be boring without it!

However, speaking for myself, I am not skeptical. I am a romantic at heart and long for relationship built upon respect, communication, laughter, sweet kisses, sizzling kisses, roses and ice cream! (I once wrote a song about a day of ice cream and roses...)

I prefer to think of myself as a realist. As I am sure you know, at some point, a relationship moves beyond focussing on one's feelings for another and other outside forces are included. Kids, bills, pms, burnt dinners....all these little stressors add up and the romantic nature of two individuals can be dampened. I believe in order to maintain the romance, it takes an incredible amount of effort on the part of both parties.

It can work. It can be romantic.
How else does one explain those star crossed lovers of 70 years old walking by my house at night?

It happens.

There are just those of us who wonder where, when, and how?

With Artful's permission,

Miss T, thank you for all your heartfelt comments ,they did not go unnoticed or
unduly advised as for the answers to your questions:
WHERE???=IN MICHIGAN OR ARKANSAS (wherever HE chooses)
WHEN?=IN THE DISTANT FUTURE(and GOOD things are definately worth waiting for) ..
HOW?+WIH ALL MY STRENTH,TRUST,LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING ,OUR MUTUAL RESPECT FOR ONE ANOTHER....my personal dedication to the one I adore ..
NEXT???

Re: With Artful's permission,

Artful's dream said:

Miss T, thank you for all your heartfelt comments ,they did not go unnoticed or
unduly advised as for the answers to your questions:
WHERE???=IN MICHIGAN OR ARKANSAS (wherever HE chooses)
WHEN?=IN THE DISTANT FUTURE(and GOOD things are definately worth waiting for) ..
HOW?+WIH ALL MY STRENTH,TRUST,LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING ,OUR MUTUAL RESPECT FOR ONE ANOTHER....my personal dedication to the one I adore ..
NEXT???

Click to expand...

Rubbing sand out of my eyes!

With Artful's permission,

All I have to say in response to my Master's post(the last one) is make sure You get "every grain out Sir) lol and the FACT of the matter is that my last post was VERY HEARTFELT ..it's truly my desire.. ..even when I am upset withHim ,I still yearn to be near Him... ..such a shame that I was left all alone and so so last nite tho-hmmmm??

I'm kind of confused.

Is Artful's pet no longer around, out of the picture, gone, decollared, history?

Is Artful's dream her replacement?

Are they existing side-by-side in Artful's life?

And, is it true, as i think i read someplace late last night when i was so tired, that Artful's dream really honestly has only, like, a week of online subbing experience behind her? That would certainly lend new meaning to her claims of being *very* new to all this, wouldn't it? (All this is, of course, BDSM relationships.)

It's sometimes so very hard to keep the players sorted out...

With Artful's permission,

In re: cym's question,
I shall ask my Master to reply more correctly to this Cym but as to His own words to me ,pet is still in His life being trained and that is HIs business only ,not mine to question.but as my Master has assured His dream,He treasures ME,and I am HIs top priority,..never once said i wasnt a newbie at this btw on the contrary ,said I was hear to learn from YOU more "experienced" ones hehe can certainly understand the "confusion ' tho...

Cym

cymbidia said:

I'm kind of confused.

Is Artful's pet no longer around, out of the picture, gone, decollared, history?

Is Artful's dream her replacement?

Are they existing side-by-side in Artful's life?

And, is it true, as i think i read someplace late last night when i was so tired, that Artful's dream really honestly has only, like, a week of online subbing experience behind her? That would certainly lend new meaning to her claims of being *very* new to all this, wouldn't it? (All this is, of course, BDSM relationships.)

It's sometimes so very hard to keep the players sorted out...

Click to expand...

Artful's dream and Artful's pet,...as with any of my subs, are specific individuals. Artful's wish was still yet another individual. Wish decollared herself.(first one to do so online)Not the first to decollar in R/L. All other ONLINE subs have been released by me, and for different reasons. Yes,...dream is very new to BDSM, but she has had limited interactive experience with another self proclaimed Master ONLINE. Hope this response clears matters up somewhat,...and thanks for the inquiry!

you are a busy busy man...

I've never in all my years of doing this heard of subs "decollaring" themselves.

Must be some new kinda online fad or something.

It sure as hell doesn't happen out where people are face-to-face with this stuff. Out here, couples talk things out, talk things over, work together and stay together for long, long periods of time - if there's a collar involved. Since real live honest-to-god collars are relatively rare out here in the the Real World (unlike the online universe where they seem to go on and come off with the ease of, well, velcro), it just doesn't happen that a sub wakes up one sunny morning and just...uncollars herself.

You are aware that all y'all chatroom types are living in some bizarre alternate universe with regard to what the rest of us view as BDSM relationships, right? I mean, you do know that, right?

Hmmmm

Where to begin?

We have previously discussed the mainstreaming of BDSM and how this trend of online D/s seems to have a place in the lives of some people.

We have also discussed the more traditional model which must include the face to face, skin to skin sensation of BDSM.

I met the two Doms in my life on line. I did not sub on line. Any attempt I made to do so was very uncomfortable for me. I needed the voice, the look, the touch.

In terms of what cym has said, I also struggle with the more recent translation of BDSM in an on line relationship. Perhaps, artful's dream could explain her viewpoint to me. I am curious. Perhaps I am missing something wonderful and easily available.

To my way of thinking, a collar has more significance than a wedding band. I have considered the collar, but never accepted it. Please, also explain your understanding and viewpoint concerning the collar.

For me, I can't be His sub without a very intense and satisfying relationship. Knowing Him, His knowing me. How else could I trust Him to lead me in the directions that are in my best interest?

So, please....your viewpoints...anyone who has been involved on line, I am trying to understand.

Thank you, in advance.

Cym

cymbidia said:

I've never in all my years of doing this heard of subs "decollaring" themselves.

Must be some new kinda online fad or something.

It sure as hell doesn't happen out where people are face-to-face with this stuff. Out here, couples talk things out, talk things over, work together and stay together for long, long periods of time - if there's a collar involved. Since real live honest-to-god collars are relatively rare out here in the the Real World (unlike the online universe where they seem to go on and come off with the ease of, well, velcro), it just doesn't happen that a sub wakes up one sunny morning and just...uncollars herself.

You are aware that all y'all chatroom types are living in some bizarre alternate universe with regard to what the rest of us view as BDSM relationships, right? I mean, you do know that, right?

Click to expand...

Because you used the term 'decollaring' I sense you are directing the above post to me in particular. I can speak for no one except myself.
This IS an internet based forum,...if you wish ONLY for R/L information(skin to skin)be posted here, I was NOT aware of it. I used the term decollaring to show the END of ONLINE relationships between myself and others. I like many others, feel you are visciously ATTACKING the use of L/D internet based exchanges of people who have met online, and wish to explore the possibilities of establishing a R/L relationship.
As YOU are the moderator of this forum, I readily submit to your wishes,...only be plain and direct if you wish for dream, I, and others such as we are not welcome in this forum. I will certainly not post anymore! Yes,...internet L/D relationships are TOTALLY different than R/L (skin to skin). No one is arguing that fact, yet you continue to pound away at WHO we are. Some of us,...don't claim to anything BUT L/D relationships,...others of us DO have REAL TIME skin to skin experiences, you have shown us NOTHING but a BIASED prejudicial attitude if we post ANYTHING other than politically correct, factual experiences of REAL TIME episodes. If that is what you truly wish for this forum to be,...hell,...just tell us,...we will be gone faster than a bolt of lightning. This particular thread that dream started,...I thought would be INVALUABLE to newcomers wishing more information on the subject of submissiveness, but if you think it an improper topic for discussion,*YES* ~LONG DISTANCE~ then delete it, we won't offer you any resistance. If your attack is solely on me,(yes, I see it ONLY as an attack)then I won't post in your forum anymore. Please let me know,...either publicly or privately,...it does not matter which to me!

Sincerely,

MissT

MissTaken said:

Hmmmm

Where to begin?

We have previously discussed the mainstreaming of BDSM and how this trend of online D/s seems to have a place in the lives of some people.

We have also discussed the more traditional model which must include the face to face, skin to skin sensation of BDSM.

I met the two Doms in my life on line. I did not sub on line. Any attempt I made to do so was very uncomfortable for me. I needed the voice, the look, the touch.

In terms of what cym has said, I also struggle with the more recent translation of BDSM in an on line relationship. Perhaps, artful's dream could explain her viewpoint to me. I am curious. Perhaps I am missing something wonderful and easily available.

To my way of thinking, a collar has more significance than a wedding band. I have considered the collar, but never accepted it. Please, also explain your understanding and viewpoint concerning the collar.

For me, I can't be His sub without a very intense and satisfying relationship. Knowing Him, His knowing me. How else could I trust Him to lead me in the directions that are in my best interest?

So, please....your viewpoints...anyone who has been involved on line, I am trying to understand.

Thank you, in advance.

Click to expand...

I used the term 'decollaring' out of context by R/L standards,...meant no harm in it. Meant only that the relationship(ONLINE) had terminated, ended, over, no longer existent. Some subs and Doms go on to start OTHER relationships. I think each internet based L/D relationship as concerning BDSM is unique to the parties involed as well as R/L relationships. (jmho)

I apologise to ANY I may have confused with my terminology!

With Artful's permission,

OMG ..WOW ..NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I BEEN PROUDER!!
no.1..listen up You 2 ..this is MY thread and i say my Master stays!!
no.2 Master ,I have never loved You or been more happier to be Your sub than what I am at this very minute,
no.3 what we have is REAL ,REAL to me and very REAL to You our Love is here to stay!!
no.4 Cym ,i do respect what you have to say but lady ,You need to understand that noone died andmade You goddess ok? we all make mistakes ,how are we really bothering You or anyone ?/ maybe you wish You had what Master Artful and I have ?/ i dont know but i do indeed wish You peace,love,joy and happiness from deep within my heart and i mean that sincerely...huggs have agreat day!!! lol lmfao

Re: With Artful's permission,

Artful's dream said:

OMG ..WOW ..NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I BEEN PROUDER!!
no.1..listen up You 2 ..this is MY thread and i say my Master stays!!
no.2 Master ,I have never loved You or been more happier to be Your sub than what I am at this very minute,
no.3 what we have is REAL ,REAL to me and very REAL to You our Love is here to stay!!
no.4 Cym ,i do respect what you have to say but lady ,You need to understand that noone died andmade You goddess ok? we all make mistakes ,how are we really bothering You or anyone ?/ maybe you wish You had what Master Artful and I have ?/ i dont know but i do indeed wish You peace,love,joy and happiness from deep within my heart and i mean that sincerely...huggs have agreat day!!! lol lmfao

Click to expand...

I am and have been all " ears" , so to speak, you don't have to tell me to "listen up..." as thought I am an obstinate 12 year old.

Forget it...have your thread. I will find my answers elsewhere from people who are willing to discuss issues, not go on the defensive and be rude.

It is best to understand that we all have our opinions. We are not all always gentle in our expression of them. However, opinions are free and the diversity of opinions are what make good meat for any thread.

Best wishes to you and artful,

Miss T

With Artful's permission,

re" Miss T,
I apologize that you mistook my reference to You 2 as being aimed at you ,it was solely meant for cym and my Master..opinions are free andmost welcome here no matter how diverse they may be again ,i am sorry for the mistake ,,,huggs whoopee !!!! i'd like to pat myself on the back for my 100 th post!!yay me !! go dream!!! rah rah rah btw this one is dedicated to the following people: my MasterArtful,my sis Kayte,sis yuppie,sis Angel,Lee,Dom,Lance,Slartty,Jewelz,Anne,sweet Nick,Wicked eve,pet,Blazeof life,hybirdx,chewbacca72,Lauren hynde.,SPECTRAL DRAGOON,HE HE MAC,MOM,my kids etc etc etc whoo hooooooooooo!! drum roll please!!!

You people make me laugh.

To whom do i direct my questions concerning everything i've always wanted to know about submissive but were afraid to ask? Artful? You've had, from what i can see, three submissives posting at Lit in the last three months. If quantity equals quality then you're The Man. Dream? You've been an online sub for a week. Are you the one who is going to tell me everything i ever wanted to know about submissives?

Bluster. Bluster. Bluster. Bluster. Bluster some more.
Y'all are funny.

I have left my name off this message on purpose... I don't want to cause anymore trouble then what is already here.

But i do want to say that I think we all need to respect what each other has to say...and i mean everyone...

The moderators are here for a purpose...

I don't think anyone actually owns a thread.. this site has made it possible for you to express your views, but then they can also make it possible to take that away.

I thought we were all adults here....

gets off my soap box.....and goes off to find civil conversation.

Cym

cymbidia said:

You people make me laugh.

To whom do i direct my questions concerning everything i've always wanted to know about submissive but were afraid to ask? Artful? You've had, from what i can see, three submissives posting at Lit in the last three months. If quantity equals quality then you're The Man. Dream? You've been an online sub for a week. Are you the one who is going to tell me everything i ever wanted to know about submissives?

Bluster. Bluster. Bluster. Bluster. Bluster some more.
Y'all are funny.

Click to expand...

Of course she isn't going to tell you,...she started this thread in hopes there would be informaion gathered here,...in one thread, where she as a NEW interested party, could and WOULD be able to follow lines of thought that would connect and make her task of assimilating information pertinent to her situation from MORE experienced people in BDSM. I was in approval because I thought she should hear MORE about it than just my viewpoint,...as in the case of Dusty's post. You have come to this thread to accomplish WHAT Cym? Accuse of BLUSTER? What are you trying to prove,...that you are the only one with a valid point to make. I don't understand your animosity at all. I don't understand you attacking dream for her inexperience,...for her romanticising HER effort at trying to establish a relationship that suits HER interests. Sorry,...I just don't understand how this thread has offended you!

RESPONSE

Unregistered said:

But i do want to say that I think we all need to respect what each other has to say...and i mean everyone...

The moderators are here for a purpose...

Click to expand...

While I agree there does need to be moderators,...and I respect what moderators are FOR in any forum,...I DON"T understand what Cym's purpose is on this thread. What is she DOING?
WHAT is her PURPOSE here?

With Artful's permission,

aagrees w/ Master..correct me PLEASE if I'm wrong cym,but we all had to start out somewhere ,did we not? or were you born a submissive? I came to learn lady..are you qualified to teach me anything besides animosity or hate? damn i think i get enough of that in the real world too tyvm ..100 plus and going strong... hehe for You 1 I cherish above all others>

Two points.

1) The thread is titled "everything you always wanted to know about submissives..but were afraid to ask."

This is a misnomer. It's everything the threadstarter wanted to know about submissives..but was afraid to ask. You may wish to rethink your title strategy for clarity's sake. Good communication is key.


2) I, uh, forgot.

I amsure technically you are correct,...

KillerMuffin said:

Two points.

1) The thread is titled "everything you always wanted to know about submissives..but were afraid to ask."

This is a misnomer. It's everything the threadstarter wanted to know about submissives..but was afraid to ask. You may wish to rethink your title strategy for clarity's sake. Good communication is key.


2) I, uh, forgot.

Click to expand...

**************************************************
...but I am sure dream had no intention of advising anyone HOW they should enter into a submissive lifestyle. She has made it VERY clear she is inexperienced!

Thanks for the input though.

KillerMuffin beat me to what I was about to say, that this thread's title is problematic, and that may be a source of some of the trouble.