Critique of my Story Sensual Persuasion

Hi! I just wanted some constructive criticism or general thoughts about my story. My story is called Sensual Persuasion and I would love some feedback on it!

Please don't hesitate to leave any comments or suggestions for me!

Typically, a link helps. You may also wish to tell potential readers which category your story is in.

nice title, got me curious!!

Hi! I just wanted some general feedback of my story called Sensual Persuasion. The Link is here: www.literotica.com/s/sensual-persuasion. It is in the novels/novellas category

That is for the first chapter of the story. I would appreciate feedback on any chapters you might've read or anything at all!

Back Story: I wrote a few chapters for fun a while back, as you can tell by the date, but then I stopped. (I got bored with it, didn't know where to take it, I wasn't getting any feedback., etc.). Then for whatever reason I got a ton of email from people asking me to continue it just for the sake of curiosity of how the story would end, so the last two chapters so far have been written four to five years after the first batch.

I just wanted a general feedback or any critique of the story, if it's even worth continuing or just trashing the idea completely. I wanted to know if my writing is appealing and that it might be something people might be interested in. Otherwise, I'm thinking of just ending the story.

Thanks! Please feel free to ask me any questions if you have any!

Just a note: I put it in the novels/novellas category because not ALL the chapters contain sex. I tried to develop the characters and the plot through some chapters, so I put it in that category. If anybody else has any suggestions of where to put it. (For example, non-erotic or something), please let me know!

Before I trash your story I wanna make it clear that most people acquire skills with experience and learning and a few insights. Most of us aren't natural born wizards. We crawl before we walk and run.

I read one paragraph of your story before I back-clicked. Too many adverbs, for one. The tone is too histrionic, for another. That is, its over-stated. Lower the volume, turn down the fire.

Well, can't say my ego is not bruised here, but thanks for the feedback! I appreciate it! I sort of agree with you here on that front and it's not exactly my best work.

Thanks anyway!