New Poetry Recommendations

Since no one seems to be attending to the new crop today I'd lik to say all four are well worth checking out.

I'll be back tomorrow.

Thursday 13th and only two poems in the bag today, one by the prolific demure101 and one by twelveoone both deal with memories, fond and not so.

I liked Dubious by demure101 although the "brother secretive snaps" left me wondering how and why this had the results it did. There is nothing wrong with holding some things back, letting the reader complete the image but this seems crucial to the story here.

a walk on the path by 1201 left no such feeling. His use of language is masterful, there are too many lines to quote here but they made me want to write like this, just go and read it. Read it aloud to yourself to really get the sounds and rhythm, it is a very vocal poem and I loved it.

Read, write and enjoy what's left of the summer.

Saturday, September 15

There were seven New Poems today. Desejo's Green Sweater, which folks may remember from this forum, is well combed and fills out nicely.

Demure101's Premonition is beautifully crafted. Pay particular attention to the gentle sonics and effective linebreaking.

Don't stop now, however. You must read Lubricant's Danse Russe before you get on with your weekend. The brief lines and vivid description will leave you breathless.

If you have time, visit LangstonLover who has some effective internal rhyme in his poem Kinky Funky. The rest are fine, too. Each poem today has its merits, but these are all I will mention. Hope everyone has a lovely weekend. Read these poems! Then write some. Write one for me while you are at it.

Sunday, September 16

Only three poems, two of them very brief and so you might like to check them all out.

No Great Leap Forward by greenmountaineer is the longer of the three and my recommended read.

Have a fab week, folks.

Shooter by oneiria

This piece is a single triplet of disjointed images. The title is the only clue of what it's all about. It could be the opening of something very interesting, but there's nothing more.



I Need You by Stargodiss
This is a simple straightforward address to a lover which details a list of demands. It could benefit from more imagery, but this sort of thing is always intended for an audience of one, and never fails to get the point across.

There two pieces by Demure101 on today's list. Both are good, but the second is special.

Break by demure101

Love in a Minor Key by demure101

A melancholy piece by Demure. It leaves us with an incredible image,

"your distance
paints frost ferns
on the walls
of my heart."

This is today's must read.

5 by a sufferer of a parasitical disease, 3 more normal submits.
by the way did you ever wonder what happens when a dominate hits the do you submit button? we get to find out who the gimp really is. enuff of that bullshit.


Recommended very highly by me

daydream
by
bydemure101©
who is doing something besides the usual full stop cheap end rhyme that is the standard fare here.

BTW i am anti-formalist, so i am not impressed when someone dumps a load in a box, i am impressed when i see something nicely done
go enjoy the falling leaves
or falling trees
depending on what the wind conditions are.

September 20th - no poems for today so far - will check in later just in case the mailman slept in.

Saturday September 22, 2012

There were 8 new poems Saturday. Reviewing now. Come back in an hour for more info or go read them and see if you agree with me when you come back.

PandoraGlitters said:

There were 8 new poems Saturday. Reviewing now. Come back in an hour for more info or go read them and see if you agree with me when you come back.

Click to expand...

the day before?

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Yes. I am playing catchup, 1201. You are free to recommend at will, of course. To find out the schedule for recommenders, you may always check the sticky on that topic.

As I was saying, there were eight new poems on Saturday. Among these were three by demure101. Happiness #2 employs the poet's usual graceful meter. This poem deserves a title that does not trivialize its resolution of discord. Similarly I wish for a subtler title in Hard Luck, a poem which closes so beautifully. I do always cringe when people use 'there's' to refer to the existence of a plural noun. I get that this is sometimes done purposefully to create a certain narrative tone. It still makes me cringe. Can't help it. The third poem by demure101 is Train Ride which was my favorite of the poems Saturday. Chipbutty also has a short poem in which she gears up for the Grande Frommage.

I hope everyone is having a smashing weekend. <3 D

PandoraGlitters said:

Yes. I am playing catchup, 1201. You are free to recommend at will, of course. To find out the schedule for recommenders, you may always check the sticky on that topic.

Click to expand...

it is unclear
i wish to talk about marketing and shelf space.
no matter how good you think you are, or how many friends tell you, constant submissions are a bore, you hurt yourself, and you hurt others, i know its a poet thing and your vision is the only vision that counts, foolish me
this one was buried, it was the only thing that was significant in its difference, and I was really glad to find it

Divine Intervention
byMusicianElf©
excerpt
jacking off while Jean was
watching TV in the living room,
Law and Order: Special Victims Unit,
when the angel of god appears:
silken robes, wings, halo, the whole schtick.

it is a neat trick to raise the level of the banal to the absurd, some of the submissions yesterday couldn't keep the level of banality, but sunk further still
true i do like that sort of thing, but i didn't write it


this one surprised me, it was the only one that was too short

A Pound of Flesh
bygreenmountaineer©
one of the best writers here

Sunday, September 23

I'm not a big fan of a lot of the BDSM poetry around, but I quite liked Oneiria's Chained. Well, okay, initially I bypassed it because

"felt his rock hard pole

ramming into her violated ass"

didn't sit well with me. However, the poem made an impression. First, I liked the use of Freddy Krueger. I like cultural references and this one could obviously be read in multiple ways depending on how you approach the reference in the erotic BDSM context of the poem. I adore that a single cultural reference can impart so many possible layers of meaning about dream/reality to the power relationship of D/s itself. In reality, who truly has the power? Nightmare on Elm Street fans would be aware that Krueger only has power in dreams. When brought into the real world he is essentially powerless.

What draws me to the poem is the perspective. The D/s world is full of complexities and more often than not we are presented a stereotype. This poem, in its simplicity, is thought-provoking, particularly combining the codified Krueger reference with the sly smile of the "submissive" character in the last couplet

"knowing she had him
right where she wanted him."

It really stayed with me.

Another pick today:
While there is no meaning added by the awkward line and stanza breaks, if you simply read the poem and try to ignore them, then Stripped by Demure101 offers a very good image and is worth a read.

Cheers and see you next week.

twelveoone said:

this one was buried, it was the only thing that was significant in its difference, and I was really glad to find it

Divine Intervention
byMusicianElf©

Click to expand...

This was a Friday poem. Thanks for mentioning it, 1201.

twelveoone said:

it is unclear
i wish to talk about marketing and shelf space.
no matter how good you think you are, or how many friends tell you, constant submissions are a bore, you hurt yourself, and you hurt others, i know its a poet thing and your vision is the only vision that counts, foolish me

Click to expand...

As for this, I do like it when a writer appears only once or twice a week in the submissions, generally, but having a few interesting poems by one writer is better than none.

I haven't submitted anything in years, personally, but I had meant to remedy that. Just getting around to pick some things to post, maybe. One I have to as it was part of the challenge.

Only You by LillyRoses
I have a natural weakness for love poems such as this. Sincere passion counts for a lot. There are a couple awkward lines about midway through, but it is on target and the recipient should be a grateful man.


In Bondage by demure101

Demure has an interesting take on the dynamics of bondage in this piece. The line which begins, "You don't want..." has started many interesting discussions in my house.

An evening of German kink by Save_The_Manatease

A straightforward narrative, with commentary. The end is delightful imagery.

Drifter by iglootroll
A nice ethereal first submission by a new Lit poet.


Mythos by twelveoone

This is an impressive piece of work. In the middle of our current discussions over the difference in poetry, prose and perception, 12:01 shows what really matters is whether the work is good, or not. This is good. On some days I label certain poems as "recommended reads", or "must read." This is a "Mandatory read, by Imperial Edict."

Delete

There is corn in Egypt! Four out of the seven on offer today (27thSeptember) are keepers.

First in line is small city stroll set by seannelson, long a favourite of mine. A group of lovely Haiku form a ghazal of sorts.

Next is low by demure101. This poem morphs from sonnet to prose form and back seamlessly, no easy feat. This poet has no fear in experimenting and exploring which I admire.

It was interesting to read the comments left for InThe Adirondack Clouds by oniera before I started writing, I usually leave that until later but I wondered what the consensus would be. I instinctively loved it so it was nice to see others did. Yes, it is graphic but visionary too, wonderfully erotic using clichéd words and expressions in a totally non-cliché way.

Lastly Assertive, with Racy Acidity by lubricant (how apropos given the last three lines) - a poetic smorgasbord of body parts and flavours with a smattering of familiarity. Light and slightly insubstantial but perhaps I was sated by the previous readings.

Of the four recommended my favourite is “low”. There are some impressive writers sharing their poetry here these days, I am enjoying the bonanza greatly, I hope you are too.

Well, I'm back from vacation (I know how much everyone is thrilled by that) and ready to take a look at Friday's new poems.

Let's see what's been served up today for our reading pleasure:

• First up is Sepia by the astoundingly prolific demure101. A delicate, quite lovely poem written not in demure's characteristic rhymed verse, but in a straightforward yet evocative language. I found the line "the reef far back to sea a stroke" a little oddly phrased, and had to look up "topee" (which is another word for pith helmet), but overall a really well executed poem about colonialism and its aftermath. Be sure to read all the comments as well, especially greenmountaineer's. Definitely recommended.

• PandoraGlitters gifts us with two poems today. Two if by Air is a sweet (!) little erotic poem with interesting language and metaphor that left me feeling a bit like, well, a drone. Not in a bad way. Dora's Bucket List is a little more obscure--a free verse sonnet on the vagaries of the Litland poetry lists. I think, anyway.
  
  Both well worth your time and definitely recommended.

• New poet The_Unmentionable_Jade starts her Lit poet career with a short little erotic poem, A Perfect Wave that is not that bad for a first effort. The more typical lines, like Deliciously frantic strokes stretch my wetness are offset by more interesting ones (Our need is thick). Worth a look and a welcome.

• I've said before that I consider greenmountaineer to be one of our best poets, particularly in narrative poetry, and Quan Found his Daddy in Frisco is another excellent example of gm's talent in writing "slice of life" poetry. I'll join 1201 in giving this my fanboy rave. Read it, folks.

• Angel is a very short offering from Harry Hill that is like a light little confection--a little poetry truffle, almost. Nice read.

• Finally, I'd really love to say that lubricant's Katakana is all Greek to me, but I'd be wrong. It's Japanese.

Excellent day, overall, for poems and lots of interesting comments as well. Check it out, people.

Bye for now.

Saturday and Sunday September 29th and 30th 2012

CharleyH is no longer able to do the Sunday review which makes me privately sob but this weekend I'll roll Saturday and Sunday's into one.

I had this all typed up and then accidentally closed the window so this is a redo. Saturday had only 3 New Poems so not much to choose from there but demure101 has Scruples, a dirty sonnet, which you may enjoy.

Sunday's catch was a bit sturdier with seven submissions. Of these I really enjoyed the small, balanced poem on the theme of space exploration written by Oneira, "Mars Attacks."

Njoyjade effectively and interestingly uses repetition in her poem Shadow Girl which I think brings shape to the poem that springs from the theme.

There are other offerings (an incubus-style coupling that might effectively be paired with the earlier mentioned Mars Attacks for a compound effect, Harry Hill vows revenge) which are worth reading but the three above are my picks for a busy person's read. I hope everyone has a productive October.

Moonlight Flit by demure101
A nice rhyming piece. Delightful images, but a typo in the third stanza stands out.

Daybreak in Tegus by demure101

A short abstract piece.

Home Run by demure101

Another rhyming piece by Demure. The cadence and rhymes are well done. I had to look up the word "adustly" to be certain it was not a typo and I'm still not sure how it fits in the line, but for such an obscure word, it has many variations in meaning and several could apply. A recommended read.

Changing Worlds by HarryHill

A descriptive piece about birth from the baby's point of view. Cleverly done.

STD by thecummingman

A short depressing piece, which seems literal.

Megaluvd is a new Lit poet with two submissions, today. Both have a water theme, sort of. I don't know if these are intended to be counter voices to each other, but one is from her point of view and the other from his. Both well done

Wet Wednesday by Megaluvd


Rainy Days by Megaluvd


Church Wife by Loansum

Loansum is a long time and prolific Lit writer of stories and poems. This is a rhyming piece, which although it's graphic, falls a little short of erotic. I can see it's appeal to certain readers.

Dirty Thoughts, Clean Words by Callipyge2012

Callipyge is a new Lit poet and this is her first submission. It is an address to a lover, which is the kind of poem for which I have a fondness. This one is a nice read, but borders on the clinical and could benefit from more sensory images. The capital letters at the beginning of each line disturb the rhythm of the read.

I have a feeling some use this thread as a guide of sorts to the best of the day, at least I hope it is read. That being, go and read the "bucket list" poems by greenmountaineer , desejo and chipbutty because Wednesday is being neglected.

October 4th

The recent discussion on comments and voting seems to have inspired Mr. Hill resulting in the enigmatic Porcelain Altar . Lit as a literary toilet where we can flush or admire but when push comes to shove it’s our shit and he likes his. I love quirk and it don’t come much quirkier. Gentlemen please replace the seat.

Miss Faversham meets Sleeping Beauty. In Reduction demure101 says what I often thought as a child, that Beauty wouldn’t be so hot after being asleep for decades . This is a delightful little poem where the rhyme falls in a form I should be able to name but can’t (hangs head in shame) and it enhances the work overall. Lovely and tragic.

Continuous by njoyjade feels like an appetizer and left me ready for the main course. I didn’t feel engaged as I read, it is an idea waiting to be developed.

Because Everyone Loves a Winner by PandoraGlitters is wonderfully powerful. Pandy evokes the brutal world of the disenfranchised so subtly, the desperate need for respect and the tragic results of failure. This poet has hidden much of her work in various threads on the PFDF so it’s wonderful to see her work here. My pick-of-the-day.

It was a privilege to do today’s recommendations, my thanks to the participating poets. A happy Thanksgiving this weekend to the Canadian poets among us.

CharleyH said:

Cheers and see you next week.

Click to expand...

Sure wish we would. Miss you, CharleyH.

Here, finally, is my apologetic belated hello to the PF&D along with my thoughts on Friday's poems. (I plead Internet problems and unpleasant news, though not quite unexpected news.) Anyway, let's take a looksee:

• I always use the word "prolific" when talking about demure101, and, while that word is accurate, it always seems a bit snide, which I do not intend to imply. Perhaps I am jealous by his/her productivity. No matter.
  
  In any case, demure has two new poems on Friday, Pastoral, which is, as the title indicates, a presentation of a pastoral interlude, executed with typical competence and panache by demure in what is apparently a nonce form (rhymed abbccddeeaffgghhiia).
  
  I think my response to this (and, remember, I've had a bad day, personally) is that, while interesting, the poem seems a bit like recycled, oh, 19th century.
  
  Very well executed, but not adding up to much in the end.
  
  But to put that in perspective, the poem is light years better than the typical Lit poem. It is competent, controlled, and literate. Just doesn't say much of anything I can connect to today. (And, I want to point out, that may just be me and my personal situation.)
  
  Certainly worth you reading. And thinking about. Demure is a very good poet.
  
  With Continuity, I think demure has ventured a bit beyond his/her comfort zone, into free verse. The poem is still way (way, way) better than the typical Lit poem, but this one lacks, in my opinion, "poemishness." It tries for poemishness, for example, here:
  with red beads like tropical birds
  on a fond of greens and browns
  and greys; accents of colour, a flash
  of inspiration. In her eyes
  a smile that holds the truths of the forest,​
  but never seems to reach it (for me, of course. We are talking about my reactions to poems.).
  
  But, hey. I would certainly recommend (and heartily) that you read D's poems. And coment on them. Because she (or he) writes poems that are serious enough about being poems that it makes sense to comment on them.
  
  This is way not true of most Literotica poems.

• And it is not true of RolandHill's poem Song of My Soul.
  
  Now, I don't hink Roland's poem is especially good, but it is (or appears to be) serious, respects its form, and does not embarrass itself by being overly clunky. The form is executed well. Earns a Tzara "not bad" label, even in my unhappy mental state.
  
  Not bad.

• kokshur offers us four poems. sheets is almost Asian in its brevity.
  
  slowly and my mouth seem more focused in their appeal. shame is rather more violent.
  
  None of these appealed to me, but may to you.

• New Lit poet Tamara_Dane does the noun-verb thing with her first poem, Lovers Reunite.

• New Lit poet jessiebluegirl gives us Black and Blue.
  
  It is probably better for all concerned that I do not comment on this poem.

• OK. There is also a greenmountaineer poem, Child, You Always My Sugar Plum Fairy.
  
  Really, really well written as always. Superlative storytelling, etc. The big question on this is raised by Desejo in her comment "my personal take is that it is very, very difficult to write dialect unless you are familiar with it to the point that you actually speak it."
  
  This is a question that has plagued writers for years. Zora Neale Hurston, for example, for her use of dialect in Their Eyes Were Watching God or Mark Twain in The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.
  
  The big problem with dialect is that it can seem dismissive or superior. That obviously is not the intent here.
  
  So, like comment, people. That's what the comments are meant for.

Again, sorry I am late. You all be well.

Weekend, October 6-7, 2012

There were 14 New Poems this weekend including some remarkable pieces. The first to strike my fancy was ArjayEiff's Ride Me which, though it seems like the work of a newer poet, employs sonics, proportion and figurative language. It's worth a read and helpful comment, I think.

I like the novel subject matter of Harry Hill's Cosmic Collision, but I don't really like the way the rhyme at the end is forced by reversing the diction. Interesting idea, though and a worthy experiment. Likewise, I like how Harry's Roots and Shoots seems to be a sort of a shape poem in the sense that the bottom of the poem has simple rhymes with irregular meter (where a poet often begins) and then seems to have more maturity at the top of the poem. Another worthy experiment, but the experience of reading it made the end anticlimactic until I approached it as a thematically driven shape poem of sorts (or linear structure poem?) Something like that. Even if a poem doesn't completely succeed, I would rather read something that tries and fails than a poem that is written entirely safely.

Demure101 has an interesting closure in her When the moon is out, four metred stanzas with end rhymes that revolve about the personified reactions of the Moon and the Rain. (I SO want to capitalize Moon in the title.) I wish I could sense a little more clearly what the narrator feels about these reactions. The other two offerings by Demure have more emotion but less craft, I fear. Hard to get a perfect balance of both. Still a pleasure to see her try--a pleasure to read these aloud.

I echo Tristesse's wish for a happy Thanksgiving Weekend for our Canadian poets and happy Columbus Day for those who celebrate it (for many I understand it is a time of mourning rather than celebration). Best wishes for a good week in any case.

Dora