Suggestions please

musicaldadams

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About six months ago my Daddy and I had a discussion and the result was that I would no longer be using curse words. The goal was to find a way for him to be in my head all the time, so that it would be like he was always there. This backfired in that instead of happy or even neutral feelings towards him every time I think about this rule I get angry, resentful, and other negative feelings. We've had several discussions along the way and have decided that since this rule is doing almost the exact opposite of what was intended we're going to replace it with something else. We just have no idea what else.

A little background:
I have a collar already.
We don't live together and only see each other every other day cause of work.

If any of you guys have any suggestions or thoughts please let me know. It's been a while since I reached out to the community and I feel like I'm sharing something here and it's scary.
 
Are the cursing and him being in your head mutually inclusive?? Or are these two separate things that you wish to achieve?

And if you curse is it only when upset or angry?? (Personally I have a filthy mouth and curse like a sailor in general).

If the cursing is tied to being angry....when you get angry, frustrated, upset, etc...maybe think about something that your Daddy does with you that you really love, or maybe think about how great he makes you feel. So that way you don't curse, but instead use the thoughts of him to help you calm down, so you're not tying your thoughts of him to negative situations, but instead using your thoughts of him to help ease the negative feelings.

Hopefully that makes sense...sometimes the thoughts don't translate to words correctly :)

Good luck <3
 
The not cursing was his idea to achieve there being a presence of him. It's something that achieved that for another partner and we decided to try it. It's not really about the cursing itself. I haven't had any issues following the rule, I can follow it and hate it, but the problem is that the hating gets directed towards him instead. I feel like not being able to use curse words is actually taking away a part of my personality. It's been at least 6 months of this so I know it's not just me adjusting.

Thank you for being patient with me. I have a difficult time putting abstract feelings into words.
 
The not cursing was his idea to achieve there being a presence of him. It's something that achieved that for another partner and we decided to try it. It's not really about the cursing itself. I haven't had any issues following the rule, I can follow it and hate it, but the problem is that the hating gets directed towards him instead. I feel like not being able to use curse words is actually taking away a part of my personality. It's been at least 6 months of this so I know it's not just me adjusting.

Thank you for being patient with me. I have a difficult time putting abstract feelings into words.

Why not think of a rule that actually solves a problem?
 
Thank you for explaining! I'm new to understanding the lifestyle that I recognize I now very much would love, so I'm not sure if I'm even a good person to give advice.

I definitely understand cursing being part of your personality...I feel very similarly. While I *do* have a potty mouth, I had to make adjustments / stop cursing because I also have kids, and don't want them picking up those words quite yet. So instead I've come up with / gotten used to using other words (ie: "Oh Snickerdoodle! Fudgemuffin! This irks me!" instead of "Oh shit! Fuck! This fucking sucks ass!") and that kind of works. A few of my sayings also double because I find them to be silly somehow, or they're an older saying so when it comes out of my mouth people look so shocked it cracks me up and eases the grumpy feeling I'm having.

So instead of STOPPING cursing, what about replacing curse words with silly ones? Have you tried that? It might make it easier for you to not feel like you're losing part of yourself...but instead maybe adding a bit of uniqueness to your personality ;)

Hope this helps!
 
I have tried everything. We're getting rid of the rule, not trying to make it easier. Because it's not just the personality bit, it's also the unwanted anger and resentment.

Other than wanting more of a presence there isn't really anything that needs fixing. I don't have any behavioral issues that need work and he doesn't have anything he wants that we're not already doing. We've been together for almost three years and are really comfortable with each other. We just don't get to see each other as much as we'd like and I miss him and feeling like I'm his when he isn't there.
 
Have you tried things like some form of wardrobe control?
He gets to pick your panties and bra every day? Or something like that ...that takes some small thing you have to do daily and make it about him. So everytime you are aware of this choice made for you...you are more aware of your daddy in all your ordinary things.

I assume you wear a day collar. And that he does things like tell you to wear a plug or other things like that to keep you on edge?

Good luck.
cb:heart:
 
I don't know how you feel about a piercing, but it sure would continuously bring your thoughts back to him. By the time it healed it should be somewhat of a habit in place.

And this may be an unwanted comment, but I'm going to say it anyway in hopes that it might help in future. Is it possible that your anger and resentment stem from the fact that he used this rule on someone else first? If so, addressing that successfully could help avoid problems down the road. Good luck :)
 
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