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Mystery Man
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2000
- Posts
- 15,877
Happy Birthday Lorraine! 1 min left!
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Oh No it isn't! Still 5 mins to go
I onloy hope it ws good LORRAINE hon.
I usually go 24 hours from my actually birth so it's 8 PM to 8 AM.
BrettJ in Canada
Wouldn't that be 12 hours?
To Lorraine
And the Internet where we are all as sexy as we want to be and only as old as we act.
good evening all you sexy people?
(((Lorraine)))
Hiya Warlock how's your evening going?
(((WARLOCK)))
How ya been, man?!?
Wow,
No one posted in here for a whole day... Did you all organise an orgy and not invite me?
Just to bore you with the most exciting thing that happened to me in the last 24 hours and show you how much i needed the invitation to said orgy I am gonna tell you a little story.
Everyone hates their driver’s Licence photo don't they? I can hear you all nodding in agreement, well except those few people who actually get a good one and spend the next five years flashing it around annoying everybody who like me, get awful ones. I actually have a friend who likes her Licence photo so much she looks forward to being pulled over by the police just so she can whip it out officially, she is too old to be carded at a club even though she begs the bouncers to do it. "Go on ask me she says you know you want to see my Licence.” It's fabulous though - great hair, great skin, great teeth, the sort of photo that says, "Hello, officer! Yes I am a supermodel and the reason I am speeding is because I am rushing to meet my plane to Monte Carlo for a shoot."
My Licence on the other hand is never like that. Not even once the bastards!! My licences never say "hello officer! I am a super model rushing to meet a plane, connection." but they do say, "Hello officer, I am hooker and crack cocaine dealer rushing to meet my connection Maddog."
Last week I had to renew my license (Big brother is micro chipping us now but that’s another story) and while I may have walked into the Department of Main Roads with dread, when I got my new licence in the mail yesterday I was dancing!! Why? Because for the first time in my life I got a Licence photo that is absolutely fabulous!!!! I can almost see you all rolling your eyes but truly, compared to the usual deer in headlights arrested hooker look, I look great!! Of course, it doesn't actually resemble me in anyway....
I couldn’t wait to show someone so I rushed over to see a friend. She looks right at me and says "You’re right it’s a good one! But why aren’t you wearing any clothes?"
“What are you talking about," I said, "Of course I am wearing clothes!” However, to my horror on closer inspection I discovered she was right. I was so busy checking out my blemish free complexion that I hadn't noticed that from the head down things looked rather bare. "Oh my god, I have a nudie Licence photo! Porn star licence again!"
So what I am hearing (and what the less honest men who deny it are thinking) is 'I have THE best licence photo ever.'
Wow,
No one posted in here for a whole day... Did you all organise an orgy and not invite me?
Just to bore you with the most exciting thing that happened to me in the last 24 hours and show you how much i needed the invitation to said orgy I am gonna tell you a little story.
Everyone hates their driver’s Licence photo don't they? I can hear you all nodding in agreement, well except those few people who actually get a good one and spend the next five years flashing it around annoying everybody who like me, get awful ones. I actually have a friend who likes her Licence photo so much she looks forward to being pulled over by the police just so she can whip it out officially, she is too old to be carded at a club even though she begs the bouncers to do it. "Go on ask me she says you know you want to see my Licence.” It's fabulous though - great hair, great skin, great teeth, the sort of photo that says, "Hello, officer! Yes I am a supermodel and the reason I am speeding is because I am rushing to meet my plane to Monte Carlo for a shoot."
My Licence on the other hand is never like that. Not even once the bastards!! My licences never say "hello officer! I am a super model rushing to meet a plane, connection." but they do say, "Hello officer, I am hooker and crack cocaine dealer rushing to meet my connection Maddog."
Last week I had to renew my license (Big brother is micro chipping us now but that’s another story) and while I may have walked into the Department of Main Roads with dread, when I got my new licence in the mail yesterday I was dancing!! Why? Because for the first time in my life I got a Licence photo that is absolutely fabulous!!!! I can almost see you all rolling your eyes but truly, compared to the usual deer in headlights arrested hooker look, I look great!! Of course, it doesn't actually resemble me in anyway....
I couldn’t wait to show someone so I rushed over to see a friend. She looks right at me and says "You’re right it’s a good one! But why aren’t you wearing any clothes?"
“What are you talking about," I said, "Of course I am wearing clothes!” However, to my horror on closer inspection I discovered she was right. I was so busy checking out my blemish free complexion that I hadn't noticed that from the head down things looked rather bare. "Oh my god, I have a nudie Licence photo! Porn star licence again!"
Wow,
No one posted in here for a whole day... Did you all organise an orgy and not invite me?
Just to bore you with the most exciting thing that happened to me in the last 24 hours and show you how much i needed the invitation to said orgy I am gonna tell you a little story.
Everyone hates their driver’s Licence photo don't they? I can hear you all nodding in agreement, well except those few people who actually get a good one and spend the next five years flashing it around annoying everybody who like me, get awful ones. I actually have a friend who likes her Licence photo so much she looks forward to being pulled over by the police just so she can whip it out officially, she is too old to be carded at a club even though she begs the bouncers to do it. "Go on ask me she says you know you want to see my Licence.” It's fabulous though - great hair, great skin, great teeth, the sort of photo that says, "Hello, officer! Yes I am a supermodel and the reason I am speeding is because I am rushing to meet my plane to Monte Carlo for a shoot."
My Licence on the other hand is never like that. Not even once the bastards!! My licences never say "hello officer! I am a super model rushing to meet a plane, connection." but they do say, "Hello officer, I am hooker and crack cocaine dealer rushing to meet my connection Maddog."
Last week I had to renew my license (Big brother is micro chipping us now but that’s another story) and while I may have walked into the Department of Main Roads with dread, when I got my new licence in the mail yesterday I was dancing!! Why? Because for the first time in my life I got a Licence photo that is absolutely fabulous!!!! I can almost see you all rolling your eyes but truly, compared to the usual deer in headlights arrested hooker look, I look great!! Of course, it doesn't actually resemble me in anyway....
I couldn’t wait to show someone so I rushed over to see a friend. She looks right at me and says "You’re right it’s a good one! But why aren’t you wearing any clothes?"
“What are you talking about," I said, "Of course I am wearing clothes!” However, to my horror on closer inspection I discovered she was right. I was so busy checking out my blemish free complexion that I hadn't noticed that from the head down things looked rather bare. "Oh my god, I have a nudie Licence photo! Porn star licence again!"
"Oh my god, I have a nudie Licence photo! Porn star licence again!"
Didnt you notice you were naked when they took the picture? You must have had a really good photographer if he got you out of your clothes without you noticing.
A funny story!
That works for me! i'll happily put on a police uniform and stop you for breaking the law and take you back to the cells for a good interogation.. etc. I could go on ya know
You preemptively avoided all my questions.Nicely done.Don’t ask me what happened I was fully dressed at the DMR, I was!!!! It must have been a trick of the light - but it really does look like I decided to go au natural for the photo. And no, don’t ask I am not showing you or anyone. Unless of course, a kindly police officer asks insistently!
Wow,
No one posted in here for a whole day... Did you all organise an orgy and not invite me?
Just to bore you with the most exciting thing that happened to me in the last 24 hours and show you how much i needed the invitation to said orgy I am gonna tell you a little story.
Everyone hates their driver’s Licence photo don't they? I can hear you all nodding in agreement, well except those few people who actually get a good one and spend the next five years flashing it around annoying everybody who like me, get awful ones. I actually have a friend who likes her Licence photo so much she looks forward to being pulled over by the police just so she can whip it out officially, she is too old to be carded at a club even though she begs the bouncers to do it. "Go on ask me she says you know you want to see my Licence.” It's fabulous though - great hair, great skin, great teeth, the sort of photo that says, "Hello, officer! Yes I am a supermodel and the reason I am speeding is because I am rushing to meet my plane to Monte Carlo for a shoot."
My Licence on the other hand is never like that. Not even once the bastards!! My licences never say "hello officer! I am a super model rushing to meet a plane, connection." but they do say, "Hello officer, I am hooker and crack cocaine dealer rushing to meet my connection Maddog."
Last week I had to renew my license (Big brother is micro chipping us now but that’s another story) and while I may have walked into the Department of Main Roads with dread, when I got my new licence in the mail yesterday I was dancing!! Why? Because for the first time in my life I got a Licence photo that is absolutely fabulous!!!! I can almost see you all rolling your eyes but truly, compared to the usual deer in headlights arrested hooker look, I look great!! Of course, it doesn't actually resemble me in anyway....
I couldn’t wait to show someone so I rushed over to see a friend. She looks right at me and says "You’re right it’s a good one! But why aren’t you wearing any clothes?"
“What are you talking about," I said, "Of course I am wearing clothes!” However, to my horror on closer inspection I discovered she was right. I was so busy checking out my blemish free complexion that I hadn't noticed that from the head down things looked rather bare. "Oh my god, I have a nudie Licence photo! Porn star licence again!"