Need help with a poem

Hi everyone.
I'm writing a poem and could use some feedback. I've been staring at it for so long, that I've reached the point where I think it's absolute garbage. I guess I need someone else to say, "It's good. Just change x, y, and z." Although, if it is crap, I'd rather just know so I can start over.

Any feedback would be appreciated.

Thanks
Fuiva

Into The Light

In darkness she lay her body still, her voice it calls to me.
From hidden depths the message sure; her words, a silent plee.
Would I not, deny you: my love, the cravings of your flesh?
And offer you my meager store, and my labors without rest.
Within your heart, there in resides, desires to embrace.
I’ll give release to all your needs; I’ll cause your breath to race.
Within your shores I’ll safely rest, my passions I will concede.
My surface will I break for you; to you my every need.
I’ll answer you, I’ll take your hand, as one we’ll make it right.
I’ll stand by you with hand in hand, we’ll walk into the light.

Commas are an important part of any poem. It guides the reader and helps reproduce the rhythm the writer intended. Colons and semicolons are not really needed in most cases.

In darkness she lay, her body still. Her voice, it calls to me.
From hidden depths, the message sure, her words, a silent plea.
Would I not deny you, my love, the cravings of your flesh?
And offer you my meager store, and my labors without rest.
Within your heart, there in resides, desires to embrace.
I’ll give release to all your needs, I’ll cause your breath to race.
Within your shores I’ll safely rest, my passions I will concede.
My surface will I break for you, to you my every need.
I’ll answer you, I’ll take your hand, as one we’ll make it right.
I’ll stand by you with hand in hand, we’ll walk into the light.

The phrase "Would I not deny you..." borders on a double negative and one is not sure of the answer, whether granted "cravings of the flesh," or not.

Bronzage,
Thanks for your feedback. I've made the changes. "Would I not deny you..." - I'm working with this; so far coming up blank. I'll stew on it a while.
Many thanks,
Fuiva