Young Sub has question

So I've recently found a new Dom. I really like him, very brutal, but I enjoyed it a lot. Anyways I call him Sir now, and I told him I want to be his completely and call him master. He told me he will consider it if I lose 30 lbs. I was taken a back a bit. Right now I weight 150 and I'm 5'8, so I could be in better shape, but I am far from fat. If i lost 30 pounds I feel like it would be unhealthy, and he gave me four weeks to do it. I don't know what to do, because I want to be his. But this task will consume my life four the next four weeks in order to prepare myself. What should I do?

It doesn't need to consume any portion of your life. Exercising is the hard way. Go on the paleo diet and only eat carbs twice a week. Don't consume sugar.

That's way too much weight to lose in so little time. He doesn't sound like he's worth risking your health. Seriously, if you want to get in shape do it safely but don't do it because an asshole told you to. I'd suggest looking elsewhere. Don't hurt yourself over this.

I suppose. But I also can't tell if maybe he is just testing my will power. Maybe if I try my hardest he will trust in my commitment to him.

Mh I'm so conflicted.

And I'm trying to diet and exercise at the same time. I was already pretty healthy prior to meeting him. I am a college athlete, I am just not naturally thin. So it makes it even harder to lose weight because my body is already used to high levels of activity. And I tried explaining this to him with getting to personal about my real life, but I don't think he believed me.

Huh?

Sorry darling - but unless you are something like - 4 foot whatever - 150 lbs is - curvy? Nice? You got a figure? Can wear lingerie and be proud?

Give him the boot and move on.

This is an unrealistic goal he has set for you. Even if you could lose the weight it's not safe to lose more than 8-12 pounds a month. You could try really hard to please him, but would you end up hurt at the end?

If you're already healthy and active you're fine the way you are. I don't know your experience or what kind of relationship you've had, but there are others out there and if this "dom" wants to set an unhealthy and unrealistic goal, it sounds like he doesn't care about you. Find someone who does.

MeekMe said:

This is an unrealistic goal he has set for you. Even if you could lose the weight it's not safe to lose more than 8-12 pounds a month. You could try really hard to please him, but would you end up hurt at the end?

If you're already healthy and active you're fine the way you are. I don't know your experience or what kind of relationship you've had, but there are others out there and if this "dom" wants to set an unhealthy and unrealistic goal, it sounds like he doesn't care about you. Find someone who does.

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Nicely said. Agreed.

What should you do?

Run, quickly and far away from him. Normal weight for someone 5'8" is 125-160 lb. you are currently within a normal weight and as stated above, 20 LB. in 4 weeks isn't a healthy weight loss. Seems like he doesn't have your best interest at heart. I certainly wouldn't be interested in giving up my control to such a person.

I guess I wouldn't have come to this forum If I wasn't already partially thinking the same thing. I just would hate to miss out on the opportunity of having such an experienced and strict and Dom, it was truly fulfilling..

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youngsub28 said:

I guess I wouldn't have come to this forum If I wasn't already partially thinking the same thing. I just would hate to miss out on the opportunity of having such an experienced and strict and Dom, it was truly fulfilling..

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Sigh. Don't fall for the other's fantasy. He or she may be experienced or whatever.

Your health.

Walk, run, glide away. Find someone else.

Messing with your health is not the opportunity of a lifetime.

youngsub28 said:

I guess I wouldn't have come to this forum If I wasn't already partially thinking the same thing. I just would hate to miss out on the opportunity of having such an experienced and strict and Dom, it was truly fulfilling..

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There are lots of people giving themselves the label of "dom" that look for inexperienced people to take advantage of. Since I don't know anything about you I'll just put a word of caution out. Don't be a doormat, you have wants and needs as much as anyone else. The one most responsible for your safety is You.

I hope you'll stick around and browse through the library and forums. Lots if good people and good info.

mhph. okay point taken. I think, I'm just not going to try to reach that goal. Because it obviously not healthy. But I'll still workout and eat healthier safely. Then I'll see what he says. If he doesn't approve, because I don't look skinny enough. I'll walk.

He wouldn't happen to live in upstate New York, would he?

Is this face to face, or online?

30# in 30 days isn't safe, or sane. And the current medical recommendation for your height is generally 125-160#. Please don't mistake control for dominance.

Now, if someone wants to invest in your health? Kick ass. Rock on. But someone who is interested in your health, won't expect you to drop more weight than a doctor would suggest, nor would they ask you to do it in such a drastic manner (healthy weight loss, as I'm sure you know, is about 2# per week - 8-10# per month).

There are so many dominant men out there. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but there are; don't settle.

Ha no he doesn't, and it is face to face.

I know, and we are still a new pair. So I'm trying to figure out how he functions. I don't get the impression that he is trying to take advantage. He knows I am not as experienced and has actually been very kind and patient walking me through things. That is why, I think (or perhaps want to think) that he only said it as an exaggeration. And maybe knows I cannot actually drop that much weight, but only wants to see me put forth and effort to prove I can commit to him. I am not personally offended when asked by a Dom to lose weight, it is in my interest to be as fit as possible too.
Mh, I don't just my silly justification I guess. We'll see. I know that my own health is ultimately in my hands, no matter how much of myself I submit. I won't do anything that I don't think entirely unsafe.

As it is a new relationship I personally would find it hard to trust his judgement after asking you to participate in such an outrageous goal. What other things will he take too far, disregarding your personal safety/health?

Also, asking someone to change something about their appearance so early on is a big red flag to me. If he asked you to be healthy and set realistic goals contributing to your health that would be fine, but it is a number related to weight, and an dangerous one at that.

As great as he may seem I would take the red flags into account and at least talk to him about this outside of your play and express your concerns. Have an honest conversation. Base your decision to stay or walk away on his response.

youngsub28 said:

Ha no he doesn't, and it is face to face.

I know, and we are still a new pair. So I'm trying to figure out how he functions. I don't get the impression that he is trying to take advantage. He knows I am not as experienced and has actually been very kind and patient walking me through things. That is why, I think (or perhaps want to think) that he only said it as an exaggeration. And maybe knows I cannot actually drop that much weight, but only wants to see me put forth and effort to prove I can commit to him. I am not personally offended when asked by a Dom to lose weight, it is in my interest to be as fit as possible too.
Mh, I don't just my silly justification I guess. We'll see. I know that my own health is ultimately in my hands, no matter how much of myself I submit. I won't do anything that I don't think entirely unsafe.

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Exaggeration or not, he should be saying exactly what he expects. If he doesn't really expect you to do something he shouldn't demand you do it. Communication is key and if he said it and didn't really expect you to do it, communication has broken down.

Speaking of communication, before taking on this task perhaps talk to him. Find out what he really wants. If he's just playing "how far will they go for me" games than I'd jump ship, this captain is no good.

30 lbs in a month!? Seriously!? Even if you were overweight - which you're not - that would be a ridiculous goal.

Definitely not someone who sounds remotely concerned for your health and well being.

And, even if this demand is just an exaggeration, what kind of precedent does this set? Will he assign you more unreachable goals?

Dump him.

Fast.

There are lots of "brutal" doms out there if that's your thing.

youngsub28 said:

I suppose. But I also can't tell if maybe he is just testing my will power. Maybe if I try my hardest he will trust in my commitment to him.

Mh I'm so conflicted.

And I'm trying to diet and exercise at the same time. I was already pretty healthy prior to meeting him. I am a college athlete, I am just not naturally thin. So it makes it even harder to lose weight because my body is already used to high levels of activity. And I tried explaining this to him with getting to personal about my real life, but I don't think he believed me.

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Like already stated, 30 pounds is a lot to lose in 4 weeks. Actually, it's a lot to lose, period, unless you've recently gained an extra 25 pounds from eating nothing but ice cream and doughnuts, for some reason. If that's the case, you could just cut out the ice cream and doughnuts.

Don't assume that this guy knows what he's talking about and don't assume he's testing you. If he is, he's an idiot, because it's just not done that way. He can tell you he prefers you thinner, but other than that, he has no control. He can't force you to lose weight. If he could, he'd be rich and be able to write a book about it, or something.

Most diets don't work for everybody and even when they do, they don't continue to work. It takes time, a healthy diet, exercise and if you're not into it mentally, your commitment will surely fail.

You might be able to lose weight, but only do it because you want to, not because he wants you to. If you want to lose weight to feel good about yourself, that's one thing. But, don't do it just because he tweaked your sexual desire and is now making impossible demands about your weight.

He's not the only guy out there that can push your sexual buttons. Find another guy who likes you for what you are, without the demands. Then you can take your time and look into losing weight, if you want to. But, do it the right way.

You could confront him and tell him he's making an impossible demand of you, which he is. Ask him why he's doing this and see what he says. He might come to his senses and change his tune. But, if he continues with his demand for you to lose weight, he's a loser and doesn't have your health in mind at all. Then, tell him you are going to lose even more weight and then ask him how much he weighs.

DVS said:

You could confront him and tell him he's making an impossible demand of you, which he is. Ask him why he's doing this and see what he says. He might come to his senses and change his tune. But, if he continues with his demand for you to lose weight, he's a loser and doesn't have your health in mind at all. Then, tell him you are going to lose even more weight and then ask him how much he weighs.

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^^ This

I know you've said you think he's just testing you, but you need to ask him outright. Setting impossible and unrealistic 'tasks' is a pointless thing for any Dom to do, and if this is a new relationship it is setting a bad precedent. And I think we've all agreed that no one could lose that much in 4 weeks, and it wouldn't be good for your health even if you tried. A good Dom would not set you up to fail, like this guy seems to be doing. With respect, you seem to be trying to justify his request by putting the 'test' slant on it, but I really do think you should ask him why he has demanded this. I can't think of any good reason why this goal should have been set for you, hun xxx

12-15 lbs per month is the safest weight loss you should experience. More than that isn't really healthy. There is a doctor's weight loss regimen that can do about 25 lbs or so in a week, and oddly enough it is from doing nothing but eating very healthy foods. However that plan is for people with a heart condition and who need to lose weight prior to having a heart operation and it is done only while you are in the hospital where they can monitor you.

Losing more than that tends to make a vacuum in your body, per se. Your body get worried and goes into starvation mode, which means it will store any and all food instead of passing the normal amount.

It normally takes time to put on weight, it takes an equal amount of time to lose it. Losing it fast means you will gain it back fast and usually gain more weight in the process.

It sounds like this guy doesn't have your well being in mind at all.

If you are really torn ask the guy for a picture of what he thinks you'll look like once you've lost 30 pounds, then point out you look like that already and show him a picture of a girl suffering from anorexia, preferably with ribs showing and ask if that is what he wants because if you follow this stupid request that's where you will be heading all too soon.

In fact, take a good look at that poor girl yourself, repeat after me, 'you're so dumped' and enjoy a piece of chocolate for positive reinforcement.

A Master may ask you to do a lot of things, but he would never ask you to risk your health. Judging from his request, he's either unacceptably sadistic, or he's irretrievably stupid. Both are dangerous for your health. Find a different Master.

Im a 5'8 female as well and its crazy to try and lose that much in that amount of time. I tried that in high school, and was stumbling around ready to pass out by the time I got down to 130, which I did by not eating because that's the only way you can lose it that fast.

Im glad to hear you're questioning it and not going to do something unsafe. i am a littlw more than 150 at your height so im sure you look fabulous.

Check out his driver's license and you'll probably see that his middle initial is D. It stands for Douchnozzle and he's not the only such one out there.

Run - not for exercise, though it's good for that, but to save your mind and plan for a better day.