New/ Aspiring Dom

I've done some Dom roleplays and enjoy them immensely. Especially love being a Dom daddy. I'm looking to learn the roles and what all the motivations are, etc. I have wondered if there might be a woman out there who is a sub and yet can direcr /train her Dom in what she likes.

Its either that, or I just take over.

This reads vaguely like a personals ad... which belong down the hall to the left in BDSM Personals.

If it isn't a personsls ad, there are plenty of people who would be happy to answer any questions you might have or offer their opinions (in thread).

CutieMouse said:

This reads vaguely like a personals ad... which belong down the hall to the left in BDSM Personals.

If it isn't a personsls ad, there are plenty of people who would be happy to answer any questions you might have or offer their opinions (in thread).

Click to expand...

I can see the resemblance to a personals. That's not really intent. I like the idea of getting advice in thread. Anyone can chime in.

Noe, if a nice lady chimed in with a PM and said "Lemme teach you something new, big boy!", I wouldn't say no. But that's not my intent.

Runnerwrites said:

I've done some Dom roleplays and enjoy them immensely. Especially love being a Dom daddy. I'm looking to learn the roles and what all the motivations are, etc. I have wondered if there might be a woman out there who is a sub and yet can direcr /train her Dom in what she likes.

Its either that, or I just take over.

Click to expand...

The roles and motivations are very individual. I think most relationships work best when each party learns their partner.

Stella's essay is now a sticky, it explains some basic differences between d/s and tops/bottoms. This is the link to it: http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1360492

More specific questions make it easier for us to answer.

SpunThings said:

The roles and motivations are very individual. I think most relationships work best when each party learns their partner.

Click to expand...

Thank you. That's kind of what I thought. Still learning what it all means to me... I guess we all are.

MeekMe said:

Stella's essay is now a sticky, it explains some basic differences between d/s and tops/bottoms. This is the link to it: http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1360492

More specific questions make it easier for us to answer.

Click to expand...

That is helpful. I'll read the sticky. More specific questions to come...

Some other interesting threads to peruse that may be useful:

What is it that a Dom does?
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1344232

Who's yo daddy?
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1312732

The Allure of "Fuck me, Daddy" said by a girl in...
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1231952

Daddy's Little Girl
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1285088

Reflections on Gentleman Doms
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1083983

DD/lg curious
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1330572&highlight=daddy

Someone to Watch Over Me
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1289244


good luck.

I would echo what others have said in that it is individual to each relationship. And as you figure out what parts of this kink appeal to you, it will be important to communicate with prospective partners what gets you going and to determine what elements could make for a good match.

cb

SpunThings said:

The roles and motivations are very individual. I think most relationships work best when each party learns their partner.

Click to expand...

As a daddy dom in a 27 year marriage to my princess I could not have said this better myself. There are no "quick guides" or "how to for dummies". Each person is different. What I do to lead my little may or may not work for others. It is carefully tailored to her needs.

To the OP I'd suggest talking to your partner, assuming you have one, or a future partner you want to pursue this lifestyle with. While there are many resources on the internet, trust me from a DD that's made a lot of mistakes, there will be stops and starts, trials and errors, and the little WILL let you know when she isn't happy. If she doesn't keep in mind you're not a DD, you're just being a controlling ass.

How did your exploration go, Runnerwrites?

Runnerwrites said:

I've done some Dom roleplays and enjoy them immensely. Especially love being a Dom daddy. I'm looking to learn the roles and what all the motivations are, etc. I have wondered if there might be a woman out there who is a sub and yet can direcr /train her Dom in what she likes.

Its either that, or I just take over.

Click to expand...

May a sissy give some advice? sissy is sissy to Her and also married to Her. She is sissy's love and bff which gives both a look into what makes each other work. If you want to be a Dom you need to know what the sub needs. That is the real trick, getting to know quickly and building a trust of the sub. A sub normally does not direct/train the Dom, the Dom seeks and discovers what a sub needs.

just bumping this up, cause i am curious how the journey goes.

Can I add to that, that I, as a "new"sub been exploring for awhile now and here are some of my conclusions :

* communication: communication is THE most important thing, as a sub, I would expect from my Dom that: He speaks up clear and with well-thought words, he explains his motivations, as he knows what the direction is he wants to take You.
(I understand as an aspiring DOM, You need to grow in this role, I recommend You start doing so in your daily life / online life. To practice those skills. I do not imply you don't have those skills, just your opening message was very undefined in this thread.)

*Trust: Trust is THE most important thing in any relationship, ever so more in a D/s relationship because: You are wanting a woman who will fully and freely submit herself to you. all this starts with trust!
(Trust is build by spending time together, talk,talk,talk,talk. And of course by keeping Yourself to any agreement You might make in this time.)

*Connect: Having a click with your future sub is VERY important.!. Approach the D/s relationship as if it would be a "normal life-love" ,also if You are only doing the D/s things in the bedroom.
(This connection is needed, and needs to be nurtured, always, this connection will make leveling with each other a lot easier, and so it's easier for You to figure out the needs of your sub, read her body language and her little "looks". No one expects You to be a mind-reader,see point one: communication )

Take time to grow these 3 things first before you do anything else.!

Good luck
Fairy

SissySalina said:

May a sissy give some advice? sissy is sissy to Her and also married to Her. She is sissy's love and bff which gives both a look into what makes each other work. If you want to be a Dom you need to know what the sub needs. That is the real trick, getting to know quickly and building a trust of the sub. A sub normally does not direct/train the Dom, the Dom seeks and discovers what a sub needs.

Click to expand...

But it's not impossible. I had one relationship wherin my partner had no experience as a Dom whatsoever, and I worked with him and slowly showed him what I like, expanded his horizons and helped him gain confidence. There's nothing wrong with Topping from the Bottom. It might not be "normal", or usual, but it's perfectly attainable and satisfying for both parties when it's the correct dynamic.