Breath play

MastersDelight said:

I don't think he was calling anyone an asshole. I think he meant don't be an asshole if you do something outside your immediate comfort zone, like hurt someone by choking them due to lack of care, control, or understanding of potential risk.

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Concur. Don't force someone out of their comfort zone without their permission. If one does that, one is an asshole by definition.

KayceeCharles said:

Concur. Don't force someone out of their comfort zone without their permission. If one does that, one is an asshole by definition.

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On a second reading, that does make sense.I stand corrected! Apologies, necro.

No need for apologies, I could see how that might be misread.

MD and Kaycee got it perfectly. It's easy to throw caution to the wind when wrapped up in the moment or in the name of wanting to push, but don't be careless or negligent, that has the potential to do real damage both physical and emotional. Borders on abuse. Trust and communication are paramount when you venture into the realm of pain or things like breath control/blood play/etc. While it's important to not constantly ask for a roadmap on what to do, it's more important to listen to them and be safe/smart about it.

_Necrosomantic_ said:

No need for apologies, I could see how that might be misread.

MD and Kaycee got it perfectly. It's easy to throw caution to the wind when wrapped up in the moment or in the name of wanting to push, but don't be careless or negligent, that has the potential to do real damage both physical and emotional. Borders on abuse. Trust and communication are paramount when you venture into the realm of pain or things like breath control/blood play/etc. While it's important to not constantly ask for a roadmap on what to do, it's more important to listen to them and be safe/smart about it.

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Which is sort of exactly what I was saying. (That's possibly the oxymoronic sentence I've ever written.) The documented instances where this kind of thing seems to have gone horribly wrong seem to be where communication might have failed.
I'm not saying there's no risk ... what I'm suggesting is that, based on available evidence, if everyone manages to not be an asshole, there seems to be more documented risk associated with getting in a car on a regular basis. I just like to do my risk assessments based on actual evidence. Clearly part of that is my assessment that my partner is a sensible adult who genuinely has my wellbeing as their primary concern.

... if everyone manages to not be an asshole...

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Then there's always "know just enough to be dangerous"

"it is impossible for anyone to begin to learn that which he thinks he already knows." -- Epicetus

Intentions may be pure, but knowing one's limits of knowledge is difficult, esp. accounting for Dunning-Kruger effect.

KayceeCharles said:

Then there's always "know just enough to be dangerous"

"it is impossible for anyone to begin to learn that which he thinks he already knows." -- Epicetus

Intentions may be pure, but knowing one's limits of knowledge is difficult, esp. accounting for Dunning-Kruger effect.

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This discussion is becoming a bit circular. I'll bow out at this point, in the absence of any actual evidence other than that already mentioned. If anything goes horribly wrong, I'll ensure I write it up for appropriate publication.

And I sincerely wish you don't get written up by someone else.

Rough chat anyone