How do I get my former coworker into bed

Gentlewoman

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How do I get this guy into bed?

I have been fantasizing about sex with my coworker for the longest time, but nothing has ever happened between us. Now he has left the company and lives in a different city, but we have kept in touch and I am going to visit him for 2 weeks. I am actually staying in his apartment and we are planning on taking a trip together.

I want him so badly, but I honestly don’t know how to tell him or make him notice me as a love interest. What can I do to seduce him while I’m there?
 
Well... And keep in mind I don't know him (or you) or very much of your story. Also, these are just what worked on me at various points in my checkered past.

One woman walked up and took hold of my tie and said, "I'm going to take you home with me. To my bed. And you aren't leaving until after breakfast. So clear your calendar."

Another reached across and started fumbling with my belt and said, "I've always wondered what you taste like. May I try?"

One stood in front of me and literally ripped her blouse open to the waist and asked, "Does this make my point?"

One, while we were kissing, slipped her hands down the front of my pants and fondled me.

And yes, these were all real events with several more that you probably wouldn't believe.

Most of it depends on you, though. What would you feel comfortable doing? Have you had any thoughts at all that he might entertain such thoughts about you? For me, personally, if I not only kept in touch with you but invited you to come stay with me for two weeks, I'm probably thinking along those lines and just am not sure about your signals. But, I couldn't say for sure that he is.

If you are a bit shy, you might try just using your words. But, I will mention that if it was me, I can be pretty clueless and you'd have to use concrete terms for me to glean you weren't just joking around.

If you can't even manage to tell him, "look, I've wanted you for a long time now, and I'm here and you're here, and there's a bed right there," then as you are talking try just touching him. Maybe your hand on his hand or running a nail down his forearm. If he pulls away, then it's probably not going to happen. If he grabs hold, I hope you don't have any plans that don't involve quitting your job and moving.
 
All I can ad is: be honest with him and with yourself, and make sure you're on the same page.

If it turns out that he doesn't want to sleep with you, accept it in good grace and enjoy his company. And, unless you get a flat-out rejection, there's always another time. Maybe he just needs to try on the idea of being close to you and see how it fits.

One of my best relationships started out the same way. We shared a room but not a bed, and I was wondering what it would take to seduce him. As it turned out, he had been burned by a previous relationship and needed to reassure himself that it wouldn't happen again. Once he opened up to me about this and I made it clear that I wan't about to put any emotional claim on him, the rest was easy.
 
How do I get this guy into bed?

I have been fantasizing about sex with my coworker for the longest time, but nothing has ever happened between us. Now he has left the company and lives in a different city, but we have kept in touch and I am going to visit him for 2 weeks. I am actually staying in his apartment and we are planning on taking a trip together.

I want him so badly, but I honestly don’t know how to tell him or make him notice me as a love interest. What can I do to seduce him while I’m there?


Simple question "have you ever thought about you and I getting it on"..... Worst response would be no and no way.... midrange is no, why... top is tossing you onto the sofa

You only live once... Might as well find your answer.
If by Somme strange turn of events the response is No and No Way... Then respect it and determine if you want friendship
 
hi

How do I get this guy into bed?

I have been fantasizing about sex with my coworker for the longest time, but nothing has ever happened between us. Now he has left the company and lives in a different city, but we have kept in touch and I am going to visit him for 2 weeks. I am actually staying in his apartment and we are planning on taking a trip together.

I want him so badly, but I honestly don’t know how to tell him or make him notice me as a love interest. What can I do to seduce him while I’m there?

Show more clevage front and rear.
 
Well, thank you all for your replies and great pieces of advice.

Sure you don't know neither me nor him. The issue that I percieve is that we have never met in a non-work-related context. We were on several business trips together with other coworkers, but the atmosphere at work is pretty formal and people are not flirty. And I am very professional and would never think of messing around at work.

However, he has never asked me out before either.

So there you go. I believe I cannot be as blunt as PuckIt suggests. I am the subtle type and body language has been sufficient for me in matters of the heart so far. So I need to get my signals clear. Any ideas on how to do that? What would work for you?
 
Question: Who is sleeping on the couch? Or does he have a two bedroom apartment?
 
Since he already knows you, there are three possibilities. One is that he's interested, or potentially interested, but for whatever reason he has no idea that you are interested, so he hasn't pursued things. Two is that he is interested and that's why he wants to go on a trip with you. Three is that he's not interested and he sees you as just a friend.

If a man is interested, he usually will respond pretty quickly if the woman shows interest. It shouldn't take a lot to figure out which option applies.

You could wear something to attract his attention, and see how he responds. If he responds, show off more. Go from there.

Touch him -- on the hand, on the shoulder. If he's interested, touching will make him more interested. You can communicate interest without being too obvious. A subtle touch is a great way to signal interest without coming on too strong. I've seen women do this to me, and it has a big impact.

Men often want to be the pursuers, rather than the pursued, or at least be able to think of themselves that way. Some men like a woman who comes on strong, some don't. So my recommendation is to use subtle signals first. Appeal to the visual and to the sense of touch. I would suggest doing that rather than the more direct verbal approaches Puckit describes.
 
So there you go. I believe I cannot be as blunt as PuckIt suggests. I am the subtle type and body language has been sufficient for me in matters of the heart so far. So I need to get my signals clear. Any ideas on how to do that? What would work for you?

If you don't want to be blunt about it...

Clothing choice- don't make it professional dress. Make it very provocative.

Body language- touch, lots of it. Even a bit on your own body. Trailing fingers either way can be good subtle cues. Watch for his response and proceed as he directs.

Flirt like your life depended on it. Subtly, of course.

But really, he's having you come visit for 2 weeks. Sounds like a slam-dunk. ;)

Whatever happens, I hope it's a wonderfully memorable time for you. :)
 
What the others said!

As a man I must add, that hints and flirts are great, but we are a bit thick headed, so don’t make them too subtle.
:D
 
What the others said!

As a man I must add, that hints and flirts are great, but we are a bit thick headed, so don’t make them too subtle.
:D

In addition to being thick headed, back in the day when I was single and had house guests I would always err on the side of caution. I did not want my guests to be uncomfortable or to create an awkward situation for either of us during their stay so I never hit on them as a rule.
 
All things to those who wait.

If you are staying with him for two weeks at his place, if there is any desire shared it will find a way. As a man I would say don't push for it, if he feels as you I cannot believe that he would not at least in a polite way approach you. Of course it should be in a slow way and not appear to be a seduction but more of an opening of a door that you might step into.
Or you can just tell him you have wanted to fuck him for so long it hurts! (Just joking good luck).
 
He's invited you to stay with him for 2 weeks.

That's more than just friendly.

And it's probably more than just sexual.

Odds are he's into you romantically.

I've got lots of dear close friends I wouldn't want staying with me to 2 weeks. If there was a woman I just really wanted to have sex with it wouldn't be a 2 week invite. But a woman I was crushing on....emotionally...hell yeah I'd go for the 2 week offer
 
He has a two bedroom apartment.

Well, at least he's a gentleman. Unless of course he has a roommate.

I don't have anything different than what everyone else has said.

But if you get what you want, I hope it's as good as you hope it is.

As a guy, if I invited a young woman to stay in my apartment for 2 weeks and she accepted...I would really hope that we would be getting together for something other than spending time sightseeing. And just to make it clear...If I didn't already have the desire to go further with her, I wouldn't be inviting her. I know after three nights, if she wasn't crawling into bed with me, I would be crawling into bed with her. Maybe he will crawl into bed with you. Good luck.
 
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A big thanks to you all for your input and good advice and wishes.

I guess I'll figure something out as I go.
 
It might be fun to ask him about his dating life (if possible) and to play a few fun games over a bottle of wine to then try seducing him.
 
If I were you, I'd run up to him, hug and kiss him and see how he reacts to that. If favorable, try running your hands through his hair, down his chest, then keep on going. Then again, I can be bold like that!
 
Do you think I should drop a subtle hint now and then in my email to him? If so, what would be appropriate and not too much?
 
Someone's already said. For some guys you REALLY need to spell it out. Being honest about what you want before you go could save you a lit of hassle
 
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