Dear X:

Dear X,

I'm sorry if I seem to be short lately. I am just getting tired. Tired of listening to you bitch about the things our friend does to you. Haven't you noticed that the things you complain about her doing, are the exact damn things you do to me?

But, of course, it will be all my fault, somehow (something about hormones). I will be the one crying the tears.

Only to rinse and repeat.
 
Dear X,

Our mini chats have been fun, cute ... you seem like a very sweet guy, and it was exciting to see where things were possibly heading. When you stopped responding, like an addict cutting the goods cold-turkey, I figured you were tied up. As one day turned to three I wrote those missives off. It's a smorgasbord in this crazy dating circus, I get that. I do that. It's totally fine.

But please stop looking at my profile. That silly little tab that taunts, haunts and flirts with my fingers, to display who has viewed my page is your dead giveaway.

If you want the lady, man up and get the confidence to say hello again. I won't bite ... hard.

Good luck in your search, Mr. Voyeur.

M
 
Dear Ex,

You demand to know the truth and what I am hiding from you. But you don't want to talk to me to find out. How do you find out the truth if you won't hear it? The truth has been shining in your face for three years but you choose to look away and SEARCH for shadows.

I know there is NOTHING I have hidden from you and there is NOTHING I have been even slightly dishonest about. And I have NEVER broken a promise to you.

On the other hand you have admitted to lying to me and hiding things from me. You have also stated very clearly that you do not make promises because you can't keep them.

Some day you will go to your heaven and you will meet your god and he will show you your entire life and you will KNOW the truth.

And the angels will cry for you.

The one who loved you.
 
Dear Ex

Thank you for letting us settle down to a basically decent ex-ship. Some of the old sores are still too deep to admit to calling you a friend, but I am proud of the two of us for being able to go forward treating each other with a basic human decency, now that the dust is all settled. There are sores to be healed, but no scores to be settled. May you find happiness. Even we deserve that.

Oh, and can I have my Wii Fit back, ferchrissakes?

B
 
Dear X,

It's a little absurd, when you get down to it. We've only gone on the one date. It was a mere three days ago. I know that you've got a lot on your mind, like the sudden divorce, and the fact that it prompted you to move out here, and how you've been here less than a month. I've dated you before, or someone like you, and it has never turned out well. Hell, I even know the white lie: "I'm not interested in dating anyone seriously." Which actually just means, "I'm not interested in dating YOU seriously," since you're just honest enough to tell me that you're going exclusive with someone else when you cancel our next date. I know you are going to do all this to me. I've had it done before.

And given this fact, it's a little absurd just how much I've fallen for you, and how hard it is to think about anything other than you.

Because, hey: maybe the trend will stop one day.

yours,
~C
 
Dear Self,

Sometimes I wonder if you actually ever want to be with a woman again with how poorly you handled this situation.
 
Dear X,

Everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong. Not hearing from you as often makes things a little bit harder, but when I do, it's easier to forget all the other things bothering me.

"I've been thinking about you a lot" and "I've been aching to hear your words" is all a girl needs to hear to get her achey and wet. At least this girl.
 
Dear X,

Really? Really? You knew how annoying I think that is. You knew that I'd faced girls scurrying off on me before. You knew that when a girl says, "Sorry, but I'm not interested in dating at the moment," I hear, "I'm not interested in dating you," and that I expect her to immediately hare off with someone else.

And you did the whole pattern anyway.

You want to remain friends, but you don't respect me enough to tell me the truth. I can see this friendship going very well.

Enjoy the new guy. I'm better for you than he is, and you know it. But you made your bed.

~me
 
Dear Ex

You told me your history and complained about missing this or that stuff; little toys or mementoes from when your kids were little. But you left them all behind when you walked out.
Sorry, but with no forwarding details, even with your solicitor, they're now in the bin or the local charity shop.
 
Dear X,

The green sandals are dead, so I guess I won't look at down at them each night and think pleasant thoughts, luckily I don't just associate your memory with footwear. I have words, memories, pictures and your dragon on my desktop.

Soon I will be older than you were, it is a strange feeling being your age, I don't feel particularly old, but I never thought you were either. I don't have your grey hair yet, though you seem to have left me insomnia.

:rose::kiss::heart::kiss::rose:
 
Dear X,

Me and a friend of mine are going out tomorrow night.

Could you please make it unforgettable this time?

Thanks in advance.
 
Dear Microsoft,
Why didn't your software engineers get it right the first time?
To compound this error, you let the bloody lawyers have a slice.
 
Dear X,

Thanks for bringing the strings back to my Internet connection.

Please make sure I don't loose them again any time soon!
 
Dear X

The total disrespect people have for others is amazing. We live in a world where parents ignore rules, thereby teaching children it’s OK to ignore them as well. Children without rules do as they please because the parents don’t care either.

How can adults allow this kind of ignorance and disrespect unless they share the same traits. Rules, guidelines, and laws are in place for reasons. When people sign a contract, they should be responsible enough to follow what it says. If they cannot follow simple rules, how can they teach children to obey the complexities of this world?
 
THE BEST RESIGNATION LETTER EVER

Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Z.. Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards!


Dear Mr. B.,

As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however, I have a few parting thoughts.


1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public.

Never f*** with your systems administrator.
Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!

Wishing you a grand and glorious day,

C.
 
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