Finally decided to go for it. Anyone willing to give feedback? I would greatly appreciate it.
Thank you!
https://www.literotica.com/s/kalinas-dark-desire
Thank you!
https://www.literotica.com/s/kalinas-dark-desire
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This is wonderful!! Thank you so much.Hope you're feeling better. Writing something is one way to confront the issue and sort of wish fulfillment.
OTOH, I wish you would write more about your feelings, your hesitancy to commit to another D/s relationship after suffering abuse when another dom pushed you too far. I want to read about your fear, your doubt, your desire fighting in your heart. I want to read out the dryness in your throat, the dryness on your lips, the shortness of your breath, the fear in your gut.
But I also need to read about your growth, your willingness to trust again, your baby steps as you explore the relationship with this new guy, who is not yet your dom, but you're exploring the waters.
So how does the story end? Did you accept him as a dom? Tell us how it ends.
I was going to write a second chapter, but really messed up that title without putting Ch 01 on it. Being new to this, I would love to do that. .
Don't worry, you still can. When you put up Chapter 02, just use the same story title as the first. Laurel (the site editor) will see that it is a second part, and will connect the two parts together, and if you add a third part, just add Ch 03. You can also add a sub-title to each chapter. See my story link for examples.
Tense shift can sometimes work - grammar Nazis will say never do it, but hey, things change. I occasionally find my sex scenes shift into the present tense, especially when first person pov, because it brings a real intimacy. Don't shift each paragraph though, that is clunky and will drive readers nuts.
I should go read your story, it sounds intriguing. Kaycee seems to be saying, dig for the emotion - but if you are writing as therapy and healing, I imagine that could be hard to do.