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I said.... (Dialogue Tags)

I love writing dialogue. I am thinking about writing a chapter entirely in dialogue. It's interesting to read the perspectives of authors who don't like using it.
 
Besides the usual, some that I use...

"cooed"
"signed"
"breathed"
"teased"
"declared"
"insisted"
"commanded"
"hissed"
"whispered"
"implored"
"cajoled"
"sassed"
"flipped"
"quipped"
"mouthed"
"hinted"
"suggested"
"requested"
"snapped"
"feigned"

And there are plenty of adverbs that can be added to even the most common tags, like... "he said ..

lovingly"
breathlessly"
energetically"
desperately"
dispassionately"
quietly"
loudly"
angrily"
quickly"
unconvincingly"
 
Like MelissaBaby, I was interested to see a couple of people say they don't like dialogue. That surprises me.

Good stories mix it up, with the right combo of dialogue and narrative. If there's no dialogue in a story, it means that there's inadequate character interaction. People interact by talking to one another. I don't see how you get around having dialogue in a story if you want your characters and your story to interest the reader.

That said, I agree too much dialogue isn't good, and I personally don't care for stories that are too heavy on dialogue. When dialogue goes bad it's usually in one of two ways: it's dull, or it doesn't advance the story.
 
I write a lot of dialog...a lot. I use a lot of 'so and so said' and 'he said' or 'said so and so' or 'she said' etc.

Sometimes I add phrases that give the ready a hit that it was said sarcastically or softly.

And not every line of dialog is tagged unless there might be confusion as to is speaking.

I have written paragraphs that are nothing but dialog.

So far, I have only received one comment telling me I should learn how to write dialog, of course it was from anon way back when I allowed anon comments.
 
SimonDoom said:
Like MelissaBaby, I was interested to see a couple of people say they don't like dialogue. That surprises me.

Good stories mix it up, with the right combo of dialogue and narrative. If there's no dialogue in a story, it means that there's inadequate character interaction. People interact by talking to one another. I don't see how you get around having dialogue in a story if you want your characters and your story to interest the reader.

That said, I agree too much dialogue isn't good, and I personally don't care for stories that are too heavy on dialogue. When dialogue goes bad it's usually in one of two ways: it's dull, or it doesn't advance the story.
Click to expand...

If you've tried reading plays, you know how hard it can be to keep a reader's interest through dialogue alone. Still, I think I might experiment with, at least, an all conversation, if not all dialogue, story as an exercise.

On the other hand, I wouldn't know how to write without dialogue. My natural tendency is to let my characters explain themselves in their "own" words. Just plucking the first example that comes to mind, this is from the scene in Mary and Alvin, Chapter 8 in which Alvin has just learned that his daughter Jennifer was caught kissing another girl at school, and she comes out to him:


"Daddy?"

"What, baby?"

"You still love me, right?"

Alvin looked at his daughter, the girl who looked so much like her mother, and felt like his heart might break.

"Sweetie," he said, "I just found out two things about you. One of them doesn't matter one little bit. The other one does. And that's that you are the bravest girl I ever knew. Why would that make me love you less?"

"I'm glad you're not mad at me."

"Didn't say I wasn't. You get no pass on misbehaving. And if you don't want to piss me off, don't ever doubt that I love you again."
Click to expand...

I can't even imagine how I would convey Alvin's emotions and attitude in that situation without dialogue. He accepts his child being gay, he admires her courage in telling him in a forthright manner, he is reminded of his late wife (who is not there to share this important moment), he is angry at her for getting in trouble at school and he feels sorrow to realize that she had been worried about whether or not he would love her when he found out about her sexuality. It took me damn near as many words to list his feelings as it did to illustrate them though dialogue. To fully describe them would take multiple paragraphs.
 
Last edited:
SimonDoom said:
Like MelissaBaby, I was interested to see a couple of people say they don't like dialogue. That surprises me.

Good stories mix it up, with the right combo of dialogue and narrative. If there's no dialogue in a story, it means that there's inadequate character interaction. People interact by talking to one another. I don't see how you get around having dialogue in a story if you want your characters and your story to interest the reader.

That said, I agree too much dialogue isn't good, and I personally don't care for stories that are too heavy on dialogue. When dialogue goes bad it's usually in one of two ways: it's dull, or it doesn't advance the story.
Click to expand...

Yes. It's the story that matters. I look at stories that are five lit pages and more and think It's probably full of direlogue and frustrating in its verbosity. I hate them. I don't think its good writing at all. Piffle isn't pleasant. I usually like good humour but there is so little of it on Lit. Good humour is carefully crafted with timing and is concise. Often it has a rhythm. Good stories often don't mix it up, they build it up. It can be done with dialogue but I think it is more difficult because the frustration of he said, she said, intrudes. One can try to bury that with adverbs and fancy words but it doesn't go away and I think of it as written mumbling, the story loses its definition and purpose. It's the story teller's role to tell a story and fluffing it out destroys it. Weft and warp, if it's all weft it isn't good. If it's all warp it isn't good. Normally, the fabric of a good story demands the use of the two and both need to be tight to give the fabric of the story strength.
 
weftandwarp said:
Yes. It's the story that matters. I look at stories that are five lit pages and more and think It's probably full of direlogue and frustrating in its verbosity. I hate them. I don't think its good writing at all. Piffle isn't pleasant. I usually like good humour but there is so little of it on Lit. Good humour is carefully crafted with timing and is concise. Often it has a rhythm. Good stories often don't mix it up, they build it up. It can be done with dialogue but I think it is more difficult because the frustration of he said, she said, intrudes. One can try to bury that with adverbs and fancy words but it doesn't go away and I think of it as written mumbling, the story loses its definition and purpose. It's the story teller's role to tell a story and fluffing it out destroys it. Weft and warp, if it's all weft it isn't good. If it's all warp it isn't good. Normally, the fabric of a good story demands the use of the two and both need to be tight to give the fabric of the story strength.
Click to expand...

I was curious to see what your writing principles look like in practice so I quickly checked out a few of your stories. Your stories don't seem anti-dialogue to me, although there are instances where you describe dialogue rather than portray it, probably to shorten things. In your story Julia, for example, you have the following passage:

Next day I refused overtime and went to the hospital to see her. On my way I realised I only knew her by her first name. At the nurse's station I asked where Julia was. They looked at me for a while.

"How do you know her," I was asked. I explained she was my neighbor and I thought I'd offer her my support and help if she wanted it. They talked together and then said they'd take me to the door of her room but I wouldn't be able to talk to her because she was in isolation, on a ventilator and medication. She wouldn't know I was there. I could do nothing at the moment but later she would need all the support she could get.
Click to expand...


This passage occurs 5 paragraphs into your story, and up to that point it's been all narration, no dialogue. If I wrote it, I probably would write out the dialogue between the narrator and the nurses, but the challenge would be to do it in a way that the dialogue didn't simply drag out the story. That's always the challenge: constantly making the story going forward, and figuring out the most artful way to do it.
 
MelissaBaby said:
If you've tried reading plays, you know how hard it can be to keep a reader's interest through dialogue alone. Still, I think I might experiment with, at least, an all conversation, if not all dialogue, story as an exercise.

On the other hand, I wouldn't know how to write without dialogue. My natural tendency is to let my characters explain themselves in their "own" words. Just plucking the first example that comes to mind, this is from the scene in Mary and Alvin, Chapter 8 in which Alvin has just learned that his daughter Jennifer was caught kissing another girl at school, and she comes out to him:




I can't even imagine how I would convey Alvin's emotions and attitude in that situation without dialogue. He accepts his child being gay, he admires her courage in telling him in a forthright manner, he is reminded of his late wife (who is not there to share this important moment), he is angry at her for getting in trouble at school and he feels sorrow to realize that she had been worried about whether or not he would love her when he found out about her sexuality. It took me damn near as many words to list his feelings as it did to illustrate them though dialogue. To fully describe them would take multiple paragraphs.
Click to expand...

Yes, it is difficult but it depends on the purpose of the story. Dialogue isn't all bad but it isn't a universal putty to smooth out a story.or to provide emphasis. For me dialogue is too often improperly used. The examples you give show it is useful for some things as I think you have shown it advancing the presumed plot with economic word usage.
 
weftandwarp said:
Yes, it is difficult but it depends on the purpose of the story. Dialogue isn't all bad but it isn't a universal putty to smooth out a story.or to provide emphasis. For me dialogue is too often improperly used. The examples you give show it is useful for some things as I think you have shown it advancing the presumed plot with economic word usage.
Click to expand...

I don't see my example advancing the plot so much as it delves into the emotional connections between Alvin and his daughter. For me, the relationships between the characters is not a means of advancing plot, the plot is the method by which I explore the emotional relationship.

Like Simon, I took a quick look at some of your work and your writing, in practice, does not strike me as being as sternly anti-dialogue as I had thought it would be from your comments here.

We have different approaches and different styles, but I appreciate the food for thought you have provided.
 
SimonDoom said:
I was curious to see what your writing principles look like in practice so I quickly checked out a few of your stories. Your stories don't seem anti-dialogue to me, although there are instances where you describe dialogue rather than portray it, probably to shorten things. In your story Julia, for example, you have the following passage:




This passage occurs 5 paragraphs into your story, and up to that point it's been all narration, no dialogue. If I wrote it, I probably would write out the dialogue between the narrator and the nurses, but the challenge would be to do it in a way that the dialogue didn't simply drag out the story. That's always the challenge: constantly making the story going forward, and figuring out the most artful way to do it.
Click to expand...

Yes, that's it, you've got it. The dialogue you cite could have been left without quotation marks but I put them in because it did no harm to the advancement of the plot. I think most of my dialogue is like that. For me it is important not to wreck the rhythm of the language and to maintain the focus of the plot. Thank you for the comment too. It was most generous of you. I still have a lot to learn.

I'm not at my best today. I'm sorry. My little, aged dog died today. I'm missing her terribly.
 
weftandwarp said:
Yes, that's it, you've got it. The dialogue you cite could have been left without quotation marks but I put them in because it did no harm to the advancement of the plot. I think most of my dialogue is like that. For me it is important not to wreck the rhythm of the language and to maintain the focus of the plot. Thank you for the comment too. It was most generous of you. I still have a lot to learn.

I'm not at my best today. I'm sorry. My little, aged dog died today. I'm missing her terribly.
Click to expand...

I am very sorry to read of your loss,:rose:
 
MelissaBaby said:
I don't see my example advancing the plot so much as it delves into the emotional connections between Alvin and his daughter. For me, the relationships between the characters is not a means of advancing plot, the plot is the method by which I explore the emotional relationship.

Like Simon, I took a quick look at some of your work and your writing, in practice, does not strike me as being as sternly anti-dialogue as I had thought it would be from your comments here.

We have different approaches and different styles, but I appreciate the food for thought you have provided.
Click to expand...


Yes. You've made me think too. It isn't just applicable to the warp or plot. I'm a little disappointed it wasn't advancing the plot but can see how you would have enhanced it as a part of the weft.

I'm trying to develop my humour skills and what I've said is applicable to that especially.. I think humour is difficult to write well. I'm on one now and love it so far. It has some dialogue but it doesn't intrude so far as I can see. I always keep my stories for a few months, then read them for stuff ups, so I don't know yet. The only one on my list here so far is Dead Set Serious. I'm wondering if I could sell my humour stories to a comedian. I can see them performed in standup. I may also be very wrong. I used to read my humour stories to my wife as she was dying. They were a big hit and I had to read them to visitors as well. I thought about doing a book about how to deal with death and dying. The laughter in my house was precious and perhaps it would be good to share it with others to help alleviate the misery.
 
weftandwarp said:
Yes. You've made me think too. It isn't just applicable to the warp or plot. I'm a little disappointed it wasn't advancing the plot but can see how you would have enhanced it as a part of the weft.

I'm trying to develop my humour skills and what I've said is applicable to that especially.. I think humour is difficult to write well. I'm on one now and love it so far. It has some dialogue but it doesn't intrude so far as I can see. I always keep my stories for a few months, then read them for stuff ups, so I don't know yet. The only one on my list here so far is Dead Set Serious. I'm wondering if I could sell my humour stories to a comedian. I can see them performed in standup. I may also be very wrong. I used to read my humour stories to my wife as she was dying. They were a big hit and I had to read them to visitors as well. I thought about doing a book about how to deal with death and dying. The laughter in my house was precious and perhaps it would be good to share it with others to help alleviate the misery.
Click to expand...

That sounds like a wonderful thing to do. Good luck!
 
MelissaBaby said:
That sounds like a wonderful thing to do. Good luck!
Click to expand...

Thank you for your kindness and generosity. I don't have enough humour stories yet. They take a long time to emerge. When they do they race and It's important that I not miss the race. I think that to do a book of them I need some spares. My latest is probably inappropriate for such a book because it is about a funeral and before it and things didn't go according to plan. I wrote it for the summer competition or the oz thing but I may with hold it as it could be more valued elsewhere.

And thank you for challenging me because I haven't arrived at what I was saying with certainty. I'm still thinking about it.
 
Mr_Neb said:
Besides the usual, some that I use...

"cooed"
"signed"
"breathed"
"teased"
"declared"
"insisted"
"commanded"
"hissed"
"whispered"
"implored"
"cajoled"
"sassed"
"flipped"
"quipped"
"mouthed"
"hinted"
"suggested"
"requested"
"snapped"
"feigned"

And there are plenty of adverbs that can be added to even the most common tags, like... "he said ..

lovingly"
breathlessly"
energetically"
desperately"
dispassionately"
quietly"
loudly"
angrily"
quickly"
unconvincingly"
Click to expand...

I think dialog tags should be used sparingly and don't always have to be more than just a "that's what she said" indicator, but I like the above tags as well as:
began
started
concluded
intoned
reasoned
queried
groaned
moaned
mused
bit out
reminded
blurted
guessed
stammered
informed
elaborated
muttered
murmured
corrected

And in addition to adverbs, I like to modify with phrases like:
between gritted teeth
under her breath
stifling a laugh
with a meaningful look
in a clipped voice
 
If you use a different dialogue slug each time, or even fairly frequently, you risk having them stand out to the reader too much. They are an element that is supposed to help keep the flow clear, but they aren't really supposed to be noticeable other than the rare occasion when they are used to help convey an action or attitude. "Said" covers the need most of the time.
 
MelissaBaby said:
I love writing dialogue. I am thinking about writing a chapter entirely in dialogue. It's interesting to read the perspectives of authors who don't like using it.
Click to expand...

Dialog is one tool in the box. It can be used effectively or not used effectively. It's hard maybe to think of stories that use dialog to different degrees, but here are two movies that perhaps illustrate different ends of the spectrum.

The Black Stallion, as I remember, had very little dialog, and the few spoken words it did have served more to set the tone than to advance the plot. I saw it in a theatre packed with kids, and the place was so quiet you could hear every sound effect, every hoof clop, because the kids were so caught up in what they could see and hear on the screen.

At the other end is My Dinner with Andre, which takes place entirely around a table in a restaurant. The entire movie basically consists of two characters talking and listening to each other. An NPR, This American Life, sort of a movie. No kids in the audience, but I enjoyed it.

We write about what happens in life. Sometimes things happen without a lot of words. But one of the things that people do is talk to each other. They call each other up, they discuss, they joke, they flirt, they tease. They try to reason with each other, to figure things out, to impress, to console, to shame, to beg forgiveness. There's no reason that a conversation can't convey all the drama, conflict, mutual realization, or tenderness that an author might want to convey.
 
I am just an amateur author but this is what I generally go by when using dialog tags.

Spare usage is a good thing but better to use a two many than too few. Nothing kills the heat of a story more than when I have to stop and go back to try to figure out who is saying what. (Cue the sound effect of a needle being scratched across a record or screeching car brakes.)

If it is obvious who is speaking and what they are saying needs no particular emphasis, then I leave the tag out altogether. The paragraph break usually gets the point that someone else is speaking or if the previous line was a question, then the reader can pick up who the responder is without the tag.

For clarity and if the dialog needs no emphasis, then "said" works just fine. To me though, "said" is about a sterile as you can get. Not a lot of emotion in that word. So it works in the set up for an erotic story, i.e. "Thanks for delivering the pizza young man but I don't seem to have any cash right now," she said. (Maybe "apologetically" could be added there.)

But in the trows of passion, "said" rarely does the job, i.e. "I'm coming!" she said. eh.

Another thing that helps is that I try to avoid using different tags for basically the same emphasis. To me, it stands out when an author tries to use different words for the sake of using different words.

Just my two cents.
 
MelissaBaby said:
I love writing dialogue. I am thinking about writing a chapter entirely in dialogue. It's interesting to read the perspectives of authors who don't like using it.
Click to expand...

I've done it. It's fun. I've also done it as a monologue. That gets tricky if there is more than one person involved. Give it a try.
 
Mr_Neb said:
I've done it. It's fun. I've also done it as a monologue. That gets tricky if there is more than one person involved. Give it a try.
Click to expand...

Do you mean if there are more than two people involved? It isn't dialogue if it's just one.
 
KeithD said:
Do you mean if there are more than two people involved? It isn't dialogue if it's just one.
Click to expand...

There is more than one person in the story but only one does the talking so it's a monologue. The tricky part is communicating the thoughts and actions of the other person in story that is entirely words spoken by just one of the characters.
 
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